You strut into Snoke's throne room suavely, unbothered by the dark radiance and the presence of the man you hadn't seen in almost six years.

Almost instantaneous with your arrival, the newfound Kylo Ren snapped his head around, expecting to see his rival General but instead finding the face of the girl he abandon so many years ago. You felt his anxiety peak and you smirked to yourself at the thought.

You waited to speak until you were closer to the Sith, side by side parallel to the man once known to you as Ben Solo. You felt his gaze on you that never softened, but you paid him no mind

"Master Snoke," you bowed respectfully. "It's an honor"

"Y/N L/N, I assume you have come on account of my apprentice" he gestured to the now fist-clenching Kylo.

You shot him a quick glance, before turning to the alien once again and nodding.

"Yes. I believe that you have taken on the wrong apprentice. Ben Solo lives on" you asserted, cocking one brow as you speculated Snoke's doubt

"And what is your evidence for such an . . . Accusation"

"My living self is proof." You turned and narrowed your eyes at Kylo, who had not taken his eyes off of you. " proof that Ben Solo did not have enough strength to murder his childhood love"

"I'll slaughter you" you heard him threaten, but you just chuckled, trying to contain the mix of emotions flooding through you

"He couldn't do it then, he won't do it now" you turned back to Snoke, who was seemingly taking your offer into account, so you continued on. "I am stronger. I'm more efficient with the Force and I am not tied down by childish crushes." You scoffed

Immediately you heard Kylo Ren's lightsaber ignite, and you saw the cherry blade out of the corner of your eye, but it did not phase you. Snoke shot him with his electricity, and Kylo fumbled to the ground.

You turned and watched his pathetic jerks in random directions as a few more electric shocks flew through him.

You knew Snoke would not just immediately take you on as his apprentice, so you were prepared for any given amount of time to wait. All you wanted was to make Ben Solo pay for what he did to you.

"I know your devotion. I can feel your strength --" he stopped abruptly, turning his head in a random direction and began pondering on about something "and I sense something that I had not previously seen in my apprentice"

You bit the edge of your tongue, gripping around the deep blue fabric of your cape as you began to get nervous. Behind you, Kylo Ren stood once again, but did not dare try to harm you anymore

"I see darkness; never-ending, incredible darkness" he turned back to you and you felt Kylo's heart sink. "And no light to meet it"

"She is unbalanced" Kylo's modulated static voice finally shot through "You chose me because I was a right balance of light forces and the darkness."

"And you have failed me." His white eyebrows furrowed as his voice raised "you let a powerful Jedi live. You showed her mercy when she deserved none"

You felt a smile against your cheeks.

"I left her!" Kylo shot back, pointing to you as if you were not there "I left her without a second thought." He looked at you again, making you feel completely exposed as if you were completely nude. "The only person I ever loved"

You bit your lip and turned away, still attempting to contain the anger, sadness, and longing. You did not want to appear weak in front of your soon to be Master.

"If that does not prove my dedication and loyalty to the Sith then I don't know what does"

"You abandon her? left her alone to rot without taking use of her immense and untamed power? Have I taught you nothing?"

You felt the anger rush to his head again. No matter what he did, Snoke would continuously abuse him. The worst part is that he did not even notice it. I'm his mind, Snoke was strengthening him. He was in truth manipulating and using him.

"I'm sorry, Supreme Leader"

"Out of my sight. Both of you"

////

You sat in a visitor's cell in front of a great glass wall that peered over the galaxy under the Supremacy. Cross Legged and in nothing but some flexible pants and a white long sleeved shirt.

Running your fingers over the cold black floors, feeling the energy and the life coming from it despite it being merely metal. Radiating off of it was a great surge of static. You felt the life of the mighty ship, all the Officers shouting orders, all the stormtroopers, all the janitors and cooks, everything.

And I'm the middle of it all, to your delightful surprise, was not Master Snoke.

It was Kylo Ren.

The infamous Jedi Killer. The son of Darkness and the Prince of Death. You knew him all too well.

The man who killed your friends, the one who ripped their lives from their bodies without a second thought.

The one that paid you pity, took you and placed you on a secure and deserted planet in the Unknown Regions where he would visit you when he was not off pillaging villages or kneeling to his master.

The man who told you he loved you under the stars of Lao-Mon where he kept your body warm as he stayed with you the entire night. He held a forbidden feeling for a man of such darkness.

And the man who abandon you, but did not pity you enough to drive his saber through your heart. Even that would have been less painful than the words that came out of his lips that night.

You closed your eyes and thought back to that moment. In all the heartache of your life, you had never expected your heart to physically hurt at such a scene.

"You are a distraction to me and my training with Master Snoke. I do not regret my decision, Y/N."

"But why? I don't understand it."

"The Supreme Leader is wise. I pray that someday you will realize that"

"You told me you loved me!"

"I kept you alive to reward myself after a victory with my knights. A personal whore whenever I needed her, and all I had to do was say I loved her"

You had slapped him in that moment. You remember it crystal clear, as if the event had occurred just yesterday.

You clutched the hem of your shirt as you relived the moments. And when you watched his ship leave that night-- that beautiful black ship-- you vowed that you would get the life he had once promised you when he was Ben Solo.

He had promised you the Galaxy. And now that he had it, you would take it from him.

"I remember that night" a sharp voice startled you out of your meditation. You didn't turn, only squinted your eyes. You knew perfectly well who would be there when you turned, and you did not want to see his face. Hearing the voice was enough to make you want to slaughter him.

"Get. Out." You threatened, peering to your side just enough to make sure your lightsaber was in reach if you needed it. If you killed him, it wouldn't truly be a problem. However, you wanted to keep him alive so that he could watch you exceed everything he could ever dream of being.

You heard short and slow footsteps towards you. Quickly, you shot up out of your sitting position to face him. You would not leave your own cell, he would be the one to obey you.

But still, you couldn't help but be captivated by those brown eyes just like you were the minute he told you everything was a lie. The moment he left you on that deserted planet with no ship to escape on, and even now that he was invading your space you couldn't help but stare into them.

He parted his lips as to say something, but all that came out was a nervous breath.

You flicked your wrist, willing the door to your quarters to slide open, and you pointed to it, showing him out the door. He looked in the direction of it, but did not move.

"I will not submit to the girl trying to take everything from me" he growled.

"Ironic. Because you did the exact thing to me" you spat back, leaning forward, unafraid of your feelings anymore.

"You had nothing" he protested, narrowing his eyes and nodding his head, staying surprisingly calm for all the rumors you had heard about the Great Apprentice's temper tantrums.

"Because you killed everything I loved!"

"But here I am" he replied suavely, almost as if he had previously prepared for the conversation. He took a step towards you with circumspect, and you took one back. "You did say you loved me"

"Maybe I was lying. Maybe I just said that to get you to come back to me every now and then. So you could fuck me senseless and then leave." You beckoned, threatening him and his pride.

"I spared you!" he yelled

"I didn't need your mercy!" You yelled louder, pointing to yourself. "I've made it very clear that I am stronger than you, haven't I?" You calmed down. "Your own Master seems to think so"

"All of your strength, everything you know, it comes from me. I gave you everything"

"And you threw me away like garbage"

"I didn't"

"You did!" You asserted, feeling a different emotion bottle up inside of you as your voice cracked. You hadn't felt this in years.

You hadn't felt this since that night.

"You lied to me" you shook your head as your eyebrows arched, your colored eyes filling up with tears that you wouldn't dare let fall. Not in front of him, because then he would know the truth.

He would know that he had the most control over you. Because even now, even after all of the torture he put you through, you couldn't deny the simple face that you needed him.

You were still in love with him.

"I never lied to you" he shook his head, you detected the shame in his subtle voice as he looked down at the ground. "Not until the last night I saw you"

"You promised me the galaxy!" You yelled, motioning out the window "You told me that all of this would be ours" you shook your head, waiting for his responce that would surely be something plain and blank.

"Why do you think I accepted Master Snoke's offer?!" He hollered back

" You Don't understand! " You protested, causing him to shut his mouth immediately "I never wanted the galaxy!" You called out one more time before calming yourself down, taking cool breaths as Kylo watched you intently, a blank expression complimented by clenched fists. " I only wanted you! "

"I did everything for you. I was ready to get on my knees and worship you. I would have been your slave, Y/N. Everything I ever said to you before that dreadful night. I had full intentions of fuffiling every one of them. But do you really want to take all of this away from me? Everything I have built for myself? My empire? You want to destroy everything?"

"Don't do this" you shook your head more frantically "that's not fair!" You cried out, still fighting back hot tears as he looked back up at you again. You saw the heartbreak in his eyes at the sight of your pain. "You can't just confuse me again--"

"Don't you understand it?!" He grew suddenly more angry as he took a step towards you, now inches from you. You looked up at him without fear. He put both of his gloved hands on your shoulders, watching you flinch

"You're just going to lie to me again. Isn't that right? You're going to tell me what I already know. I know you don't care, Ben. I don't need to hear it again" you defied him, watching him grow angry as his cheeks flustered.

"I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU!" he finally hollared, jerking your shoulders around in an attempt to make you realize. " The light inside of me that Snoke speaks of -- that is you! " he bit his lip as he mimicked your mood swings. Looking away and letting you go, you noticed the wetness on his cheeks.

You were left stunned. a mixture of heartbreak and happiness boiling up inside of you as you squeezed your eyes shut, letting the tears slip out as you hoped that you would wake up to find it all fantasy.

It was too much. Everything was just too much now. You didn't know if you could believe him, or even if you wanted to, for that matter.

"And every damn day-- every single day I miss you. why can't you understand that? "

"What, do you think I don't love you?" You scoffed at his ignorance. " You left me alone on that planet and I almost went mad! " You gripped the sides of his face, running your hands over the soft skin, stubble, and wetness all in one. "Why did you do it?"

He flinched at your touch, taken back by your assertiveness. He sighed, rocking his head side to side in his abrupt shame. "I was young and niave. And I was so helplessly in love--" he looked away and his bottom lip popped out as he shook his head "I just thought that if I left you maybe I wouldn't hurt as much anymore"

"Hurt?" You furrowed your eyebrows " what do you mean, I was always there waiting for you! "

"That's not what I wanted." He grasped your forearms " that's not what you deserved-- you deserved somebody who could love you like I never could. . . Back then, I just loved the power more"

You let go of him as you studied the lines on his face. Memorizing them by rote. He looked the same if you subtracted a few battle scars, and took away the tears. He never cried. Never.

"I'm sorry" he stated truthfully, in full confession as he completely opened up to you. " I'm sorry I didn't come back for you-- I was just scared "

"Scared?" You chuckled at the mere though "imagine that. You. Scared. "

He paid your comment no mind and stared right into you, sifting through you and breaking past your mental walls with the touch of his fingers.

"Please tell me the truth" he called out, his lips still slightly quivering "tell me if you love me"

without thinking, you stood on your toes and pulled him by the nape of his neck down to you, wrapping your lips around his. You felt the warmth rush over you, and the rhythmic sync that was awfully familiar. His black hands traveled down your body and caressed your waist, pulling you closer until you were right against his body, where he wanted you to be.

You pulled away first, but immediately melted into his arms afterwards, wrapping your arms around his neck as you rested your head on his shoulder, taking in the sensuous smell of him. Reluctantly, his hands held you back. He closed his eyes softly, letting out a soft sigh

"That was a yes, Ben"