《In Lockdown With Them》Chapter 24: Beauty Standards.
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Suddenly, I heard the bathroom door fling open so hard that I swear I thought I heard the sound of a wall cracking from the contact of the doorknob. I didn't care though, I just continued to roughly wipe the stupid tears off of my stupid face and mentally cuss at my disgusting appearance.
"Out!" I heard an all too familiar voice say.
Some girls immediately left the bathroom without uttering a single word and the rest just stayed in their place. I couldn't see their faces clearly from the mirror but I think most of them were in shock.
"Are you all suddenly deaf? I said get the fuck out!" Blake yelled.
I slightly jumped at the volume and tone of his voice. This was my first time hearing him talk like this in all the years I've known him for and it kind of scared me.
"You can't just do that. This is the gir-" One of the girls started to say but was immediately cut off by Blake.
"Do I look like I fucking care? Get the fuck out. I waited five minutes for you guys to leave but it looks like you're just too busy enjoying the show. Now I won't repeat myself again. Get. Out." And with that, the girls scurried out of the bathroom, not daring to say another word.
I weekly slung my bag over my shoulder and turned around to leave but was stopped by Blake's body blocking me from taking another step. I looked down at the floor and sniffled, mentally begging the tears to stop flowing.
"What did she fucking say?" Blake asked, anger lacing off of his voice.
I kept my eyes trained on my shoes and played dumb. "W-who?" My voice came out hoarse from all the crying.
"You know who I'm talking about Olivia. Don't play dumb. I saw her leaving the bathroom with a disgusting smirk planted on her face. What did she tell you?"
I didn't answer. I just continued to hide my red chubby face from him.
He gently grabbed my chin with his thumb and index finger and angled my head upwards so he could get a clear view of my disgusting face. I immediately felt self-conscious with his fingers under my chin and pulled my face away from his fingers. What if he could feel the fat of a double chin there? I mean, I didn't have a double chin showing but I'm pretty sure there was some fat under there. Right?
I saw a spark of emotion flash in his eyes when I pulled away for a few seconds before it disappeared. "Tell me." He pleaded softly, his voice and tone completely different from how they sounded a minute ago.
I didn't want to tell him, I didn't want him to know how pathetic I am, I didn't want him to feel the need to lie to me and tell me I'm beautiful and all that crap to try and make me feel better, I didn't want to be more of a burden than I already am.
I turned my face away from him and tried to hold back the tears but failed, they started pouring all over my face which was still damp from my last mental breakdown.
"Hey," Blake held my face in his hands and wiped a few tears away, it was no use though; new tears were still escaping my eyes. "Stop that Olivia, please stop crying. You can't let her get to you, you're stronger than that Livi, way stronger." Blake whispered, brushing the locks of hair that were covering my face away and tucking them behind my ears.
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I immediately grabbed them and let them fall back to where they were, covering my ugly chubby face. Blake frowned and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at my action. He searched my eyes for a second before it all clicked to him.
He figured it out.
"Olivia why isn't your hair in a ponytail anymore?" Blake asked calmly, though I could feel the anger radiating off him.
I just shook my head and turned my face away from him again.
"Olivia, look at me."
I didn't make a move to look at him. I just continued to cry silently.
"Look at me!" Blake raised his voice a little higher before placing a hand on the side of my face and turning me to face him.
"Liv, I need you to listen to me. I don't know what that bitch told you but I can surely guess. I also don't know if you ever thought about this before and felt the need to cover up such a fucking beautifu-"
"Don't." I choked out. "Please don't try and comfort me Blake. I fucking know how I look like and I don't need you to waste your breath and try to convince me that I actually look 'beautiful' and lie to me just because you feel bad for the ugly fat thing that I am. You think I don't have eyes? I'm not blind Blake, I can see the mirror perfectly fine, and I can see what everyone else sees every day when they look at me. Don't go telling me stupid obvious lies about my appearance," I was about to continue when Blake stopped me.
"You know what? You're right." he sighed.
What?
Is this some kind of reverse psychology or something? Because I don't think it's helping me at all. No need to add salt to the wound, Sherlock.
"You're right. I don't need to waste my breath. You're not blind, you can see the mirror perfectly fine so turn around."
"What?"
"I said turn around," Blake repeated before gently grabbing my shoulders and turning my body around to face the mirror. We were now standing in a position where his chest was pressed against my back, standing in front of the sink where both of us could see our two reflections in the mirror.
I looked up at the mirror but focused on Blake's reflection, I could barely see his beautiful face with my blurry vision since tears were filling my eyes but even his blurry appearance managed to look gorgeous.
Blake pinched my chin between his thumb and index finger again to angle my face so I could stop looking at him and face my ugly reflection instead. He brought his hands to my damp face and wiped away most of the tears. He then grabbed a tissue from the tissue holder installed on the wall next to the sink and wiped the tears on my eyes that were blocking my vision.
As soon as my vision returned to being clear I shut my eyes close so I wouldn't look at my face and remember how awful it was and go back to crying my eyes out even more than I already did.
I felt Blake's lips brush my ear but I still didn't make a move to open my eyes, even though my heart was going even crazier at that. "Open your eyes, Olivia." He whispered into my ear. I kept them shut.
"Please," He softly whispered.
That made me open them, but I still refused to look at my reflection so I just locked my eyes with Blake's through the mirror. His head was ducked slightly so his lips would be able to reach my ear. He smiled when he saw that I had opened them and whispered into my ear, "Great. Now I need you to look at that perfect face of yours and not mine. Can you do that for me?" His hot breath was slightly tickling my ear.
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I looked at him for a few more seconds before slowly nodding and looking at my reflection in front of me. I cringed at my appearance, my hair was slightly messy and my face was all red and puffier than it already is.
I noticed that a few scratch marks were starting to appear on my face but they were so faint that they were barely visible since my nails weren't that long, they'd probably be gone by tomorrow.
I'm guessing Blake noticed them too because I felt his body stiffen from behind me for a moment before it went back to being relaxed.
Blake grabbed another tissue from the box and wetted it before dabbing it on my red face, my back still pressed against his chest. After he finished dabbing the cool tissue he grabbed another dry one and wiped my face for the last time.
He tucked my front locks behind my ears and my hands automatically shot up to place them back but Blake stopped me before I could. I turned my face to the side to avoid looking at my cheeks.
"No, Olivia." Blake gently grabbed my face for the millionth time and faced it towards the mirror. He started to stroke my right cheek softly with his thumb, "Look at that Olivia, how could you fucking say that shit to yourself when you have a face like that, Hmm?" I looked at him and made a disgusted face.
"Don't make that face Livi, you are so god damn gorgeous that It hurts...literally." He said, looking down for a split second then bringing his lips back to my ear.
"I know it's not easy to tell yourself that, to convince yourself that you're not actually 'ugly', to convince yourself that you're prettier than every other female in this school if not this whole town. But I'm not asking you to do that, I'm not asking you to convince yourself, Olivia, I'm asking you to just fucking see, stop being so blind and self-conscious, you don't have those beautiful eyes for no reason. Look at yourself, Muffin."
"Look at those eyes," I took a look at my hazel eyes for a moment and almost smiled. I had a mixture of both my parents' eye colors. I never actually had a problem with my eyes before, they were pretty. I liked them.
"That nose," he was tall enough to be able to tilt his head and stretched his neck a little further to place a soft peck on my nose.
I felt like my nose would go numb from how strongly the tingles I felt after the contact were hitting it.
Did he really just do that?
Brain: He's just being kind. Luke also kissed your nose thrice before.
True...
I shook such thoughts away from my head and went back to focusing on what Blake had said.
My nose. My nose wasn't perfect like Luke's but it wasn't awful either, I guess. I mean you could find worse. Right?
"And those lips. Fuck, those perfectly full lips-" Blake said in an almost painful voice. I brought my finger to my lips and traced them while glancing at them in the mirror. I guess my lips weren't so bad either; they weren't too small or too big but still full at the same time.
My thoughts were cut off when he brought his hand to my cheek again and started stroking it ever so softly. "And then comes my favorite," he kissed the cheek that wasn't being stroked by his fingers. "Those adorable pretty cheeks." He smiled against my cheek.
"You shouldn't hide such a beautiful part of your face from us because you're so certain that it makes you look less pretty or prevent you from reaching those stupid beauty standards. Can't you see Olivia? You fucking broke them without even realizing it. You're too busy being self-conscious to realize that any girl would kill to have a masterpiece of a face like yours. Yes, your face might be slightly rounder, and yes your cheeks might look a little puffy. We're not going to deny that, because denying that would also mean we're denying the fact that you have the softest and most beautiful features that don't make your face look like a cheap plastic Barbie doll."
I felt my cheeks heat up at his words. Why was he saying all this? Why was he wasting his time and breath on helping a girl that he didn't even care for? I wanted to ask him so badly, but I just didn't have any energy left anymore.
But I just knew that it was 100% platonic and not romantic.
Blake Evans wouldn't fall for you, no matter how 'pretty' you are.
"Give me your hair tie Olivia," Blake said out of nowhere.
"What?"
"Your hair tie. Give it to me."
I handed him the hair tie without questioning him any further. He lifted my hair up and softly started to comb his fingers through it. After he was done running his fingers through my hair, he collected all of the thick blonde locks with one hand and tied my hair with the rubber band that I had given him a minute ago. He tucked the escaped baby locks behind my ears after he let go of the ponytail and I was left a red flustered mess afterward. I wondered how he was able to tie my hair like that so easily since I don't remember him ever growing his hair to a longer length.
"No Blake I d-" I started to protest before he cut me off.
"I know Olivia. Will you just try wearing it like this for the rest of the day? It looks gorgeous. You can take it off whenever you feel too uncomfortable, it is your hair after all."
I managed to let out a weak smile and turned around to face him. I know that he's just saying this to make me feel better for some reason, and that he still barely gives a shit about me, and that everything Tina had said before was correct, and that he'd just return to his normal cocky self after this, but he still managed to make me feel better, and that was all that mattered at the moment.
I felt completely different from how I was feeling ten minutes ago, I actually feel... beautiful. I feel so stupid for letting myself down like that and letting Tina's words get to me. I never actually felt like this before, I was never that insecure. I mean sure, I have been letting my hair down more often lately to hide my cheeks and the roundness of my face, but it never really reached a point where I would actually start crying hysterically and attempt to scratch and harm my face, Tina just found a way to trigger that side of me.
Blake gave me a huge smile when I turned around to face him. He crouched down to my level, whispered "Gorgeous," and placed a small kiss on my cheek. I felt my whole face heat up again in a matter of seconds and I prayed to God that my face was still red from the crying so he wouldn't be able to tell.
He pulled his head back and straightened his posture before he grabbed my hand and nodded towards the bathroom door. "Come on, we're getting out of here."
I merely shook my head, "Can you drop me off at the apartment? I- I don't feel like going to class." I whispered in a barely audible voice.
Blake smiled. "I know, that's why we're leaving here," He held Cole's car keys up with the hand that wasn't holding mine and smiled adorably. "I'm taking you somewhere, Muffin."
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