《In Lockdown With Them》Chapter 8: Night, Night, Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Sperm Bite.
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"Fudge."
Cole and I stood in the kitchen in front of the grocery bags wide-eyed.
Holy crap did we get a lot of stuff. The bags filled the entire kitchen floor and countertops. Cole ended up buying way too much crap because he kept on getting sudden cravings every five minutes.
To be completely honest, shopping with Cole Anderson was probably one of the most hilarious and fun experiences I've ever had. I'm guessing the guy's parents were rich as hell because I don't think any normal teenager would be able to be this carefree and spend loads of money on unnecessary things without worrying about the cost. I mean, he literally plays this game in the candy aisle where he closes his eyes, stands next to the candy shelves, holds his hand out, touches the closest object on the shelf, feels and smells it to decide whether it's worth it, throws it into the cart, and then does the exact same thing to every other item on the shelf.
Cole and I looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "OH... MY GOD... BLAKE'S GONNA... KILL ME" Cole said in between laughs.
"HE REALLY ISSS." I laughed.
"Dude I gotta put these away quickly before Blake comes back," Cole said hopping onto a spot on one of the counters that didn't have bags on it. I looked at him in confusion.
"What do you mean? Isn't he supposed to be back by tomorrow?" I don't really know that much about sex, but it's called sleeping together for a reason, right?
Cole chuckled as I hopped onto the counter next to him. "Oh no, Love. Blakey isn't like that. The dude never sleeps with the chicks after Boom Boom time is over, it's just a quick act of fornication and he leaves, he never even brings them to his room because he thinks his bed is too superior for clingy horny chicks. I mean yeah, he used to bring girls here, but he'd bang them in the guest room AKA your new room, and then they'd leave. But of course, the chicks know this, any girl who's willing to get it on with Blake Evans is aware that it's a one-time thing, he makes sure of that before he does his thing."
I mentally gagged at the thought of Blake banging multiple girls in my room.
Cole saw the facial expression I was wearing and patted my head, saying "Don't worry Oliver, we changed the sheets and sanitized the place. You'll be fine."
"Oh thank god. I'm really not looking forward to sleeping with Blake's ball barf swimming next to me." I let out a sigh in relief.
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Cole looked at me and chuckled again. "Did you just call Blake's semen Ball Barf?"
"Got anything better?" I challenged.
"Just call it baby batter,"
I suppressed a laugh. "Nah maybe Baby gravy,"
"Hot salt soup,"
"Milky Love droplets,"
"Daddy sauce,"
"Layonnaise,"
"Penis Colada,"
"Erectoplasm,"
Cole stared at me for a few seconds, his lips pursed shut and his face turning red from holding back his laughter, he opened his mouth and before I knew it, he was falling from the counter and landing on one of the grocery bags that had Blake's vegetables in it. "ERECTOPLASM. HOLY FUDGESTICKLES I CANTTT. I CANTTTTTT," Cole choked out while laughing.
I chuckled at the sight of him laughing his ass off on the kitchen floor. I swear this dude's energy never runs out.
Five minutes later, Cole had calmed down and was breathing again. He stood up and started placing the groceries in the cabinets and chatting about random stuff with me while I placed the dairy products, vegetables, and fruits in the fridge.
After everything was put away, Cole placed all the ingredients neatly on the kitchen island and grabbed a rubber mixing spatula, flipped it in the air, and said, "Now that all the shit is outta the way... WE BOUTTA START BAKINNNNNN."
He then pointed his index finger towards the dry ingredients, "Okay, so you're going to whisk these together while I mix the wet ones. Cool?"
I grabbed one of the bowls and replied with a playful "Yes sir."
"Kinkyyy. I like it." Cole winked.
I just rolled my eyes and smacked his arm, starting to whisk the dry ingredients.
"I missed this," Cole said after a few minutes of silence. He was currently beating in the eggs with the sugar and butter.
"Hmm?"
"Baking. I missed it. It's been so long since I've messed the kitchen up. I haven't been in the mood these past few days and I wasn't able to cook or bake anything in Ohio on the last week of the summer break. My mom hired some professional chef to cook everything and she's kind of a bitch since she won't let me touch anything in the kitchen."
"Ohio?" I asked, confused.
"Oh yeah. My parents moved there a year ago when their new law firm was opened there, that's why I'm currently living here. I refused to leave Rosewood so I stayed here. I didn't even have to convince them since they barely gave a shit in the first place so it was kind of easy." Cole shrugged.
I frowned at the last part. "What do you mean?"
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Cole sighed, "Long story. It's just that their lives are so revolved around work and shit that they sometimes tend to forget that they're parents. Though I really couldn't give much of a damn, I stopped complaining about their absence twelve years ago after they hired Rosie, my old nanny, to take care of me most of the time. She was cool so I didn't really mind. She was the one who taught me how to bake my very first batch of chocolate chip cookies. We'd spend most of the time in the kitchen discovering new recipes almost every day." Cole smiled when he mentioned Rosie.
"I'm so sorry Cole I-"
"Nah, it's cool. As I said, I couldn't give much of a damn, really. It's Lizzie who I feel bad about." Cole frowned.
"Lizzie?"
"My baby sister." Cole smiled brightly at the mention of her. "The poor girl is stuck with a fifty-year-old nanny who believes that communicating and scolding a three-year-old in French is the only way to discipline her and help her grow into a classy formal lady or some crap. The woman scares the shit out of me."
I chuckled. "Is she your only sibling?"
Cole nodded "Yep, thank god for that." He smiled. "Okay, now hand me the dry mixture so we could add it to this one, please."
I handed him the mixture and watched as he gradually added the flour mixture.
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Cole and I were filling the paper-lined cups with red velvet batter when we heard the front door open followed by a "DADDY'S HOMEE!" and the sound of Blake's footsteps approaching the kitchen.
Cole chuckled, not looking up from the cups. "I'm guessing you heard that word a lot in the past few hours."
"You bet I did." Blake patted Cole's back.
I gagged. "I'm gonna barf."
Blake turned his head towards me and smirked. "Cole are you sure these are red velvet-flavored? I think I smell something else in the air... Jelly maybe?"
I threw my head back and laughed. "You think I'm jealous?"
Blake nodded.
"And what exactly is it that I'd be jealous of, hmm?"
"The fact that you didn't get a taste of Blake not so junior's special sauce," Blake answered.
As soon as the last words left his tongue, Cole and I looked at each other for a few seconds and burst into laughter.
"OURS ARE SO MUCH BETTER!" Cole laughed.
"Definitely." I agreed.
Blake ignored our laughter and just hopped onto one of the counters. "Are you done?" He asked us, not bothering to ask why we were even laughing.
We sobered up a few minutes later and Cole grabbed the two cupcake pans before looking at me and nodding towards the oven. "Will you open the oven for me, please?"
I gulped and glanced at the oven.
Oven meant heat. Heat meant fire. Fire meant my parents. Mommy and Daddy meant-
I closed my eyes and forced myself to think about other things to distract myself before I start freaking out in front of Blake and Cole.
After a few seconds of silence, I heard the oven door open, the pans being placed inside the oven trays, and the sound of the oven door closing. I opened my eyes to find Blake off the counter and standing in front of the oven.
He looked over at me and slightly squinted his beautiful eyes for a split second as if trying to read me or figure out what the hell just happened. He then looked away from me and told Cole to call him when the cupcakes were ready and left the kitchen.
I let out a small sigh of relief. I think my heart skipped a beat for a second there.
I shook my head and grabbed a glass to fill with water to drink with the sleeping pills. "Alright, I think I'm gonna go hit the sack now. Sorry for zoning out a moment ago."
Cole smiled. "It's no problem. I'll save you a few cupcakes before Blake and the boys swallow them tomorrow morning."
"The boys?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Peter and Jordan." He answered.
"Oh, ok. Thanks, goodnight."
"Night, night, sleep tight... don't let the sperm bite." Cole smiled again.
I chuckled and headed to my room. I got ready for bed, swallowed my pills, and snuggled into my new sheets. The pills kicked in before I knew it and I was falling asleep with the aroma of red velvet flavored cupcakes surrounding me.
I think I might be able to get used to this.
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