After school on November 21st, also known as my birthday, I get in the passenger side of Mikey's car. "Hi," I greet him. Gerard is probably setting up something extravagant at home for me. I told him I didn't want a party, that it wasn't worth the effort, but he wasn't having any of that.

"Hey, Eve, happy birthday!" Mikey says, quickly leaving the school parking lot as soon as I've shut the car door.

"Thanks," I say flatly.

"How was school?" He asks, not dwelling on the birthday thing. He can always tell when to change the subject with me. It's like he can read my mind.

Even though he's my uncle and everything, we've barely hung out just the two of us. Despite that, I really feel like I can trust him. When people say that I can 'tell them anything,' I usually don't take it too seriously, but with him, I feel like I really could.

"It was crap."

"Why's that?" He asks.

"Well, for starters, I'm pretty sure I'm failing math, and also some guy called Nathan won't leave me alone."

"You mean... he likes you, or something? Or he's picking on you? Cause if he's picking on you, Evelyn, I'll—"

"No, no, don't worry, Mikey. He's just really annoying." Annoying is an understatement, though. In math class today, Nathan decided to raise his hand. I didn't think anything of it until I heard him say, "No, Sir, I don't know the answer, but I'm pretty sure Evelyn does."

It turns out I did not know the answer and I humiliated myself by guessing the number seven. We were doing trigonometry. The answer was 'isosceles'.

"Teenage boys usually are," Mikey points out.

"Yeah," I breathe, then stare out the window for the rest of the silent car ride home.

When we get there, he makes sure I go in the house ahead of him, and upon entering the living room I'm greeted by the other guys and a few people I've never met.

"Happy birthday!" They yell in unison.

Gerard steps forward and wraps me in his arms, saying something about how his little girl is growing up.

"Don't hog her, Gee!" Frank nudges him, hugging me in turn.

After that, Gerard takes me to introduce me to his parents. My grandparents. Mikey comes too, greeting them both with a hug.

Forget my birthday, this is just a group of people hugging.

I used to be terrible with physical contact; it would make my skin crawl. Light touches were the worst, though. Now, it's just an inconvenience. I simply don't need a bunch of people wrapping their arms around me, you know?

Anyway, they are really nice and insisted I call them 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa', which, I decide is doable. It feels different to calling Gerard 'Dad' somehow. He probably doesn't even want me to call him that yet anyway.

After meeting them, I was pulled over by Frank to a group of people on the other side of the room. He introduced me to his girlfriend.

"Oh my god, she's so small and adorable," she whispered to him after I shook her hand awkwardly. Or, at least she whispered something along the lines of that. I couldn't hear much over the chatter in the room.

She was very nice, though, and super pretty. Jeez, everyone in this room is more attractive than me... then again, what's new?

Next, I was introduced to Ray's girlfriend. Equally as nice. The handshake was equally as awkward.

Man, I really don't like meeting new people.

When I have no one else left to meet (I didn't manage to retain any new names because my brain is useless), and I have a few seconds alone, I take a good look around the room for the first time. There are streamers hanging here and there, and balloons bobbing around, as well. All the decorations are black, white, and yellow. It's all so foreign to me. I mean, a birthday party, for me?

He shouldn't have.

I'm not deserving of all this. I'm fourteen; that's not a special year, and certainly not worth all the fuss.

Gerard comes over, pulling me from my slightly dazed state with a smile. "Hey, Evie, you good?" He asks.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry Emerald couldn't make it." Right. I still haven't told him about everything. It's been three weeks, through, so he's probably forgotten by now. Or he just no longer cares.

I shrug, "It's okay, really."

He puts his arm around my shoulder, steering me toward a pile of records, "Wanna put on some music? Anything you want."

I decide on Green Day, which gives me something to focus on rather than the awkward first-meeting conversations about school and my likes and dislikes. I stand alone in the corner, swaying along to the music. Frank notices me here and I avert my eyes. He has that look to him, like he's about to do something...

Sure enough, he comes over and grabs my arm, dragging me to the middle of the living room. "C'mon, Eve," he says, "Have some fun! It's your birthday!"

I'm hesitant at first. I can feel people watching. But... what would Emerald do? She wouldn't care. She'd be jumping around like crazy, singing all the lyrics at the top of her lungs. I can imagine it, her blue hair whipping around, her eyes full of life, a wide smile on her perfect face.

"Oh, what the heck!" I say eventually. This whole party thing may not be my scene, but it's still a party all the same.

I beckon Gee and Ray over and they join our little group. Mikey takes a bit more convincing, but he eventually comes over as well. Soon, almost everyone in the room is yelling Green Day lyrics and I can safely say that I am happy.

I haven't really been happy since Em stopped hanging out with me. I've been miserable. No, that's not right. I've been feeling more numb, than anything. It's like she brought out not only the best in me but emotion in general, and now I'm just empty.

I need to forget about her and move on.

• • •

Soon, I'm all tired out from dancing, laughing and screaming song lyrics. I never thought I'd end up having so much fun. I didn't really celebrate my birthday as a kid, especially not with my mom or in the foster homes. They didn't even know when my birthday was. Things changed a bit at the Millers', though. I got something small, like a card, and we'd have cake.

Speaking of cake, I'm suddenly being pushed into a chair, everyone gathering around me. The music turns off, the lights dim, and I see Gerard walking toward me, balancing a cake with fourteen candles on a big plate.

Everyone starts singing Happy Birthday, which, in my opinion, is the worst part of any birthday party. I mean, what am I supposed to do right now? It's incredibly awkward just sitting here while people stand around singing to me.

When they get to part of the song where they say "dear, insert name here" I hear some people sing 'Evelyn,' some 'Eve,' and Frank's voice, louder than the others sing, 'Evieee.'

I laugh and shoot him a thumbs up because I don't know what else to do.

See? Awkward.

Now, the cake is in front of my face and Gerard tells me encouragingly, "Make a wish, Eve!"

I close my eyes, pretend to think for a couple seconds, then blow out the candles in one go. I don't believe in wishes. I used to. I'd do the whole "wish upon the first star you see at night" thing. They never came true.

And now, we've arrived at the moment I've been dreading above all others: cake.

When the lights come back on and the music resumes, I follow Gerard into the kitchen where he's beginning to cut the cake. He notices me and says, "Looks good, right? Grandma made it."

Of-fucking-course Grandma made it. How am I meant to decline it now without any guilt?

"Yeah, great!" I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. "But, cake before dinner? You're the adult in charge, you shouldn't be condoning this."

"It's your birthday, Eve! Rules don't apply."

"Yeah, because that's how life works," I remark sarcastically.

"Well, duh," he says as someone else enters the room.

"Time for cake? It looks amazing," Ray admires the cake, ready to grab the first slice Gerard just put on a plate.

"Hey, no, Eve gets the first slice!" He yanks it away from Ray and hands me the plate along with a fork.

"Thanks." I look down at it. Vanilla with swirls of chocolate, fluffy white and yellow icing, the smell is heavenly. I can't remember the last time I had something sweet.

My hands are shaking. I'm scared. Why am I scared? It's just cake... just food.

Exactly.

I scoop a bite of it with my fork and bring it to my mouth, my hands shaking more violently than ever.

Everything is happening in slow motion when the plate slips from my hands and falls onto the floor with a crash.