I come down to the dining room still all shaken up.

"Did you call Alex?" Rosanna asks while continuing to hum along to some song.

I scratch my arm with my nails lightly and try to get rid of the goosebumps. "Yeah, uh ... I don't think he's hungry."

Rosanna gives me all the attention. "He said that?"

I don't know why it'd be such a surprise if he said that, but judging from Rosanna's expression, she doesn't believe it. It wouldn't be the first time he didn't come down for dinner, so what's the big deal? "He said I should 'shut up and leave'," I cite his words.

I lower my head and let the hair frame my face so Rosanna can't see my expression.

"He said that?" Rosanna asks me curiously. When I lift my eyes up, she's looking at me with a thoughtful expression. "I hope he doesn't have a migraine again."

My mouth falls open. "A migraine?" I whisper, not knowing I understood him correctly.

Rosanna nods. "That boy suffers from migraines. He didn't have one for months now, but when he does have one, it's ... bad," Rosanna finishes sadly.

Alexander has migraines?

How many other things am I going to find out about him – and this family?

"He didn't say anything, but I think ..." I remember seeing him laying on the bed with his face down. I thought it's only because he didn't want to see me and acknowledge me, but now ... "I think he could've had a migraine, yes. But I don't know for sure," I blabber nervously, still going through the events in my head.

It seems possible. And that would explain his rude behaviour – not that he acts any other way when he's perfectly fine.

"Let's eat and then I'll go look what's up with him," Rosanna says.

We both sit down at the table and since it's only the two of us, we're eating in the kitchen.

"I never asked you how come you speak English so well," Rosanna starts the conversation.

"Oh. Well, my dad was English," I say, smiling at the small bits of the memory I have left of her.

"Was?" Rosanna asks.

I freeze and look at her. "My parents died when I was 5."

Rosanna cocks her head on the side and her mouth falls open in mortification. "My God, Gabby. I'm terribly sorry to hear that."

I look down at the plate and shake my head. "It's fine."

But it's not really fine. My God, how much I wish they would still be alive. Maybe my life would be different then. Maybe I would be in a different place right now. Maybe I wouldn't be right here right now.

One of the worst things that you can do to yourself is constantly question how your life would turn out if something didn't happen or if you'd make a different decision.

It's the best way to slowly destroy your life and kill your soul little by little every day. Because this doubt eats you alive. It leaves you with a yearning for something else and it makes you wish you could change the things.

And wishing for something that can't happen is the worst kind of agony you can have in your life.

"I don't want to sound insensitive and I hope you don't mind me asking, but how did they die?" Rosanna asks me quietly. I can hear the pain in her voice. The pain for me.

"Uhm," I swallow painfully.

"Gabrielle ... Il y a quelque chose que nous devons tu dire.." There's something we need to tell you.

"They went away for the weekend, in a cottage my father rented out for them. They ..."

"Il s'agit de tes parents ... Gabrielle, écoutes-tu?" It's about your parents. Are you listening?

I swallow hard and try to blink away the tears. "They supposedly lit the fireplace and went to sleep. And the cottage went up in flames. They didn't know how and why, but they didn't come out alive."

"Il y avait un accident. Tes parents sont ... morts." There was an accident. Your parents are dead.

It takes a lot not to burst out in tears after reliving this memory again for the billionth time. These words were haunting me, asleep or awake. They gave me trauma, they gave me the worst nightmares. But every morning I woke up, the reality was still worse than all the nightmares combined.

Because I was a five-year old girl who lost the people I needed the most and who I loved and looked up to.

At five years old, I lost everything. And the day I found out my parents died, I changed. My life changed. For the worse, of course. And all these years since then it seems like I've been living in hell.

"Gabby," Rosanna brings me out of the darkest place my mind went to. She puts her warm hand on my cold one. I stare at our hands, not having it in me to look at her and see her expression. I fear what I'm going to find. I fear it's going to break me. Because I deal with ignorance better than with compassion. "Fate is so cruel for doing this to you."

I want to laugh at that. Yeah. Fate. How many times have I heard words similar to that? It was meant to be like that. Fate is unpredictable.

Yeah, sure. So why didn't the fate want my parents to keep alive and let them live with me and be there for me?

And fate is not only unpredictable, it's also unfair. There are so many people out there who deserve to be punished for the actions, but instead, other people who are innocent and kind and so good get hurt instead. So, where's the justice in that?

"I don't want to talk about this." Or think about it. I force a smile. I'm still not ready to look at Rosanna, though. I take some deep calming breaths. "My mother often spoke in English to me, so I think it kind of stuck with me. I was one of the best in English at school."

Rosanna smiles warmly at me. "You're a smart girl, Gabby. I could see that since the first time I saw you."

I give her a shy smile back. I don't say anything to that. If I was smart like she says I am, I'd make different decisions in my life that would lead me to different situations.

In the middle of the dinner, Rosalyn and Alfred come home with a sleeping Amelia. They say a quick hello and excuse themselves immediately, carrying Amelia to the bed.

Rosalyn comes down alone when we're already finished with dinner and we already cleaned the table.

"Are you hungry, Mrs Holt? There's still a lot of food left."

Rosalyn shakes her head and leans on the counter. "No, Rosanna, thank you. We already ate. Save the food for tomorrow. Where's Alexander?"

I look at Rosanna, not daring to say anything.

"He's in his room. Gabby went up earlier and we think he might have a migraine again," Rosanna tells her.

Rosalyn puts the cup of tea she was previously drinking on the counter. "A migraine?" she asks with worry. "Did he take any pills? Did he eat anything today?"

Rosanna actually looks apologetic. "Only late in the morning. He said he was going to go back to sleep after and I haven't seen him since then."

"Dear God," Rosalyn mutters and already starts rummaging through the cabinets. "He should take some pills. He hasn't gotten a migraine in months!" Rosalyn sounds distressed.

Rosanna puts her hand on Rosalyn's back. "Let me take care of it, Mrs Holt. You must be tired."

Rosalyn sighs. "I am. But I have to go check up on my son."

I'm only watching from the corner of the kitchen in silence. Because Rosalyn is a fantastic mum. Sure, she's not home much, but she's such a caring person and I can just see the love radiating from her for her son.

It makes me mad how Alexander is repaying her. He's mean to someone who would possibly take a bullet for him.

Rosanna doesn't stop Rosalyn. She probably knows she wouldn't do anything with even trying.

I give an awkward smile and put my palms on my jeans. "Well," I say. "I hope he's okay."

"Gabby ..." Rosanna says, looking at me. "Would you mind taking Alexander something to eat?"

Her words leave me speechless for a few seconds. "Uhm," I start, looking anywhere but her. I start backing away, doing it completely subconsciously. "I'd do it, but I don't really think I'm the right person to do it."

Rosanna only laughs and waves her hand. "Nonsense. You could talk some sense into that boy."

I grimace, still walking backwards, nearing the door to the kitchen. "I think you're a bit overestimating me and my abilities," I tell her. The idea of Alexander listening to anything I'd have to say is ridiculous. "Look, I'd do it, you know I would, but I don't want to be in Alexander's face when he clearly doesn't want me to be."

"Rosanna, would you be kind enough to take Alex up something to eat? He needs to eat."

Rosalyn blocks my escape from the kitchen. I jump up in surprise when I hear her behind me. I quickly step aside so she can come in.

"Yeah, I was just asking Gabby if she would be kind enough to do it." Rosanna winks at me over her shoulder and my eyes widen.

Rosalyn instantly turns to me. "Oh, would you? You're so sweet, Gabby. I'll take some pills to him after he eats something."

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Rosanna puts the plate of food in my hands and I stare down at it like it's the first time I'm seeing it. "Thank you, Gabby," Rosanna thanks me with a smile.

I shake my head at her. "I don't want to go give him anything," I hiss under my breath, careful that Rosalyn doesn't hear it.

Rosanna only caresses my arm in reassurance. "Head up, kid. Don't fear that boy so much."

"It's not that I fear him, Rosanna. I can't stand him and he can't stand me. There's a difference."

Rosanna only sighs and smiles.

And now I have to go face the one I was planning to ignore. Oh, joy.