"so how's work going?" Luna asked.

"it's alright. you?" i said.

"i don't know." she replied.

"what do you mean by that?" i asked.

"it's just- i don't like it anymore. i used to. like the partying and carelessness. but i don't enjoy it." she said.

"find something you will enjoy." i advised.

"yeah. i've been thinking about it, but i don't know anymore." she said. "i'll stay for a month longer and then leave if it gets too much." she said.

"that's a good idea." told her. "there's no point in putting in effort for something you don't enjoy or like." i told her.

i don't hate my job, id just much rather have a job that i enjoy and makes me happy. something that i'm passionate about rather than doing it just for money.

Billie and i where staring at the ceiling, just contemplating out lives in utter silence. it was nice. i loved her company. i love being around her.

"oh my god! you know where we have to go?" Billie said, getting up from the floor.

"no. where?" i asked.

"come with me." she stuck her hand our and i grabbed it.

she pulled me up and i followed her to wherever she was going.

"where are we going?" i asked.

"you'll see." she told me.

"you always bring me to strange places." i chuckled.

"yeah. and they're cool." she laughed.

"is holding hands really necessary?" i asked.

"yeah i don't want my little puppy to get lost." she joked.

"i'm not your puppy." i said.

"i know, i'm helping you keep up. you don't even know where you're going." she dragged me faster.

we stopped in front of a shop. it was hard to see through the windows but i could what it was all about by the name which was hung up above the doorway.

"seriously, Billie? a fucking BDSM store?" i chuckled.

"yeah. you know i always wanted to buy some handcuffs and whips but i'd always be too embarrassed to see the cashier." she laughed.

"no, Billie. you're not buying sex toys." i said, holding her back from opening the stores doors.

"yes. we are." she dragged me by the hand and i eventually gave in and walked in with her.

she flicked the light on, i watched the room light up, revealing all of the sadistic toys.

"fuck me." i whispered, observing every little thing in the shop.

"come on. what are we getting?" Bills asked.

"this is heaven. and also very scary." i admitted, watching Billie grab a shopping basket.

"this is gonna be fun." she chuckled, showing me a pair of whips.

she slapped it vigorously across her hand twice, watching as a red mark formed.

"shit." she said. "that could so some damage, huh?"

"Billie, i think we should go." i said.

"why? we're just getting started." she whined.

"i've got a bad feeling about this." i told her.

"ohh yeah, that feeling in your stomach that you feel like you're gonna throw up, the butterflies that's just the adrenaline starting. don't worry about it, love. it'll kick in soon enough and you'll be having the time of your life." she chuckled.

she begged me to stay with her and so i did. I wanted to leave but after a while I began having a lot of fun.

"look at these. pink fluffy handcuffs. we need these." she said, dropping them in the basket.

we did end up messing around for a while, it was about an hour later when we had finished. the basket was filled with toys; including a pair of black whips, pink fluffy handcuffs, some chain restraints, a dildo, a few spanking toys and a vibrator.

"is that it?" she said.

"ya think?" i joked, looking down at the full basket she was holding.

"naa, we need these." she grabbed some condoms and made her way to the front of the store.

she began scanning the items and took out her wallet.

"wait you aren't stealing them?" i asked.

"no, i got too much to steal. when i steal i usually take three items max. any more than that and i'm paying." she said.

"make sense." i nodded. "let me pay for half."

"no. i'm paying." she said and took out her cash.

all of the stuff came to around $99.

"99 dollars!" i yelled. "Billie, thats too much. put some things back."

"no. this is my money. i can spend it how i want to. and i, want to spend it on BDSM toys." she said.

and so she did. she payed all $99. in cash.

"why are you paying in cash?" I asked.

"because they can track my name and I don't want that to happen because I just broke into a mall. obviously. think. think, Luna." she replied.

even though Billie and I have known each other for about a week now, I don't think it was too forward for us to get toys because we have fucked a few times and I feel like it's something that will happen again. after all, with her- I trust her and I feel like it's something I can do with her. I just hope whatever is going on between us lasts a while because I've found myself a Safe-haven.

she put our items in a bag and we left the store. she drove to my house and greeted Baxter as we went in, the two of them have bonded a little and Bax did get punished for the scratches she gave her. Billie put the bag of sex toys in my room and i followed her there.

"have you been nursing your wound?" i asked.

"no. am i meant to?" she replied.

"yeah, you're meant to change it. Billie!" i said as she tore her shirt off to show me the bandage.

she sat on the bed as i examined the wound. the wound was slowly getting better. a scab had started to form and it just needed time to heal I'm just really happy that she's not infected. the wound was begging to close up, so it's good news that she didn't need a hospital.

"you're lucky it's not been infected." i said, cutting up the bandage and sticking it into place.

"i'd be even luckier if you didn't stab me, nurse Luna." she teased, glaring into my eyes.

"yeah well, tough luck." i pressed onto it, making her grunt in pain.

"you're so fucking annoying." she raged in a playful way.

"glad to hear it." i smirked, kissing her on the lips.

she dragged me inwards as we begun making out sloppily on my bed. Billie pushed me on top of her and pulled back from out kiss to admire me.

"you're so beautiful." she whispered.

"you're even more beautiful." i said.

"no you're more beautiful." she replied.

"no you." i told her.

"no you!" she tickled me making me giggle. "let's sleep, i'm fucking tired."

"no, i'm not sleeping with you again, the last time i did that you made me late for work." i told her getting up from the bed.

Billie stayed sat on the bed and whined, "i'm sorry, that was an accident. i promise, i won't make you late this time."

i stared at her, unconvinced.

"fine! i'll even wake myself up at 8 so i can wake you up at 8 too! happy now?" she said.

"yes." i smiled, "come here."

i pecked her on the lips and she pulled me into bed yet again. Billie's scent was already filling my sheets and i could smell it. she spooned me and kissed the back of my head, giving me head scratches too. i loved it when she did that. it didn't take long for us to fall asleep.

i woke up to the sound of my alarm and turned it off, seeing that Luna was sleeping on my chest. she looked so perfect in her sleep i didn't want to wake her up. she looked so at peace. i whispered her name to wake her up but all she did was let out a small whimper.

"Luna, darling, wake up." i whispered, but her eyes remained closed.

i kissed her on the head and slowly shifted her under me so that i was on top. i kissed her on the forehead, then made my way downwards to her cheeks, lips, neck and began kissing her chest before she woke up.

"hmm." she smiled. "that's nice."

"good morning, bubba." i whispered, booping her nose and then kissing it.

"good morning." Luna said, kissing me.

"did you sleep well?" i asked.

"yeah, did you?" she replied.

"better than usual." i smiled.

i lifted myself up and kissed her on the cheek, making her smile. i could already see her cheeks getting redder. i think its cute that she blushes all the time when she's around me. i went to the bathroom to get cleaned up and saw Luna sitting by her bed. she didn't say anything. she didn't look up at me.

"baby, is everything okay?" i asked her.

i turned to see her tear- filled eyes as she broke into a cry and buried her face into her hands.

"what's wrong?" i asked.

she continued to cry and ignored me and so i let her. i know how it feels when you're crying and you just don't want to talk. you want to stay silent and just let it all out. i concealed her in my embrace and took her into my arms as she weeped. i felt my shirt getting damp with her warm tears. i kissed her on the head gently and shushed her, rubbing her back slowly.

"my mum- she died last week." she cried. "she killed herself. she ended it and it was all my fault."

"no. don't say that, Luna. it's not your fault. you couldn't have known." i told her.

"she wrote me a letter and i threw it away. i didn't keep it. it was the last thing she was thinking about." Luna sobbed.

"no, that's good. it means your healing. you're getting stronger, i know it." i said.

"i'm not getting stronger. i'm getting weaker. shes gone and theres nothing i can do about it!" she yelled.

"there isn't. you cant do anything about it. so stop blaming yourself Luna because it wasn't your fault." i replied.

"it is! it is! it is!" she screamed, punching the bedsheets over and over again.

i grabbed her hands and held them back.

"it's all my fault!" she sobbed into my shoulder.

i began crying too. and that wasn't because her mum died, not trying to be rude, but i didn't know her, so i didn't have any emotional connection of her whatsoever. Luna's breakdown didn't last any longer than that. after i got her to calm down, i helped her shower and made her breakfast, but she refused to eat then and so i went to take a shower so we could eat after.

i got out of the shower and dried myself off, then, i changed into some of Luna's clothes (an oversized tee and some cargos) before making my way to the kitchen when i realised that she wasn't there.

"Luna?" i called out.

i checked her mums room to see her in the corner of the room, sobbing, yet again. her face covered by her arms and specks of something that was red on the floor.

"fuck! shit! Lu!" i yelled.

i clamped a hand over her bloody thigh, watching as the blood began pouring out even more. it smeared all over my hands and began dripping on the floor.

"i'm sorry, Billie." she whispered.

i got up and took the blade with me- shoving it into my pocket- and got a long towel to cover her up with. i wrapped it around her thigh and put pressure on it.

"hold this." i said.

i grabbed for my phone and called for help, telling them that my friend needed some urgent help.

by the look of her other scars, the doesn't usually go so deep. so why this time? i get that her mothers death was a lot for her but she doesn't deserve this harsh of a punishment.

"what happened, Luna? why did you do that shit?" i asked.

"it's all my fault." she said. "i killed her. i killed my own mother."

"stop saying that. come on" i told her and picked her up.

i carried her to the kitchen and let her sit on the floor, i didn't want anymore blood to get everywhere, especially on her white couch.

i sat down with her and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"you have to stop punishing yourself for the things you cannot control. it was not your fault, Luna. its not your fault." i said, looking into her bloodshot eyes.

"okay." she whispered, breaking eye contact.

i kept pressure on the wound and before i knew it, the ambulance had arrived. i opened the door to let them in and they look her, i sat at the back of the ambulance and held her hand.

"it's going to be okay. you're okay." i kissed her on the forehead as she closed her eyes.