Rarely have I got rid of my clothes so quickly and taken a shower. The water falls in warm drops on my skin, running over my shoulders and down my back. Aroused and with a throbbing penis in my hand, I lean my forehead against the wall. The coldness of the tiles is a truly beautiful contrast to the hot water on my body. Supported by my right hand, I slowly rub my penis, enjoying the soothing relief.

Here too, the cold penetrates my skin, leaving a tingling sensation on my palm and arm. My movements become faster and faster, the feeling of release more and more urgent. And again it's Alec's eyes, that brilliant blue and seductive sparkle that makes me almost lose my mind. My head screams no. No. But desire has long since taken over my actions. My whole body trembles and my legs shake. I am cold and hot at the same time. The alternating temperatures excite me, my hand moves faster and faster around my penis.

The thumb rolls over the tip, I suppress a loud moan and hear Alec, feel his pulsating penis inside me, hear him moaning my name loudly and see his face with half-closed eyes and slightly open mouth. It is this image, from the darkest corner of my memory, that now catapults me over the edge of the cliff. With a muffled gasp and biting hard on my lower lip, I come hot in my hand. I breathe quickly and try to sort out my thoughts. Why Alec?

Of course I didn't think about the fresh clothes when I ran away from Alec. These are still lying on the floor in the bedroom. With a towel around my hips and a slightly grumpy stomach, I creep into the bedroom. I feel like a stranger in my own house. It's a strange feeling that creeps over me when I think about being face to face with Alec. Tentatively I open the ajar door and take a look into the room. It is empty. I'm disappointed for a moment, but then I'm relieved that I haven't met Alec yet.

My gaze falls on the bed and I see the pile of fresh clothes. Neatly folded, a pair of shorts, a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. Exactly one of each item of clothing and my brain is slow to register that they are not the things I picked out for Alec. His beer-soaked shirt is missing, the floor is clear of any clothing. Did he tidy up? And picked out new clothes for me?

I slip into the shorts and sweatpants, grab the shirt and pull it over my head as I run. Hard my body bounces against another, it hurts and I curse loudly. Two steel grey eyes flash at me and for a moment I am disappointed that it is not Alec's blue I am looking into. What is wrong with me today? Why do I see Alec around every corner?

It's probably because my mind is only now slowly realising what this judgement means for us.

"Are you okay?", the soft voice of Andrew brings me back to the present. Slightly confused, I stare at him.

"What are you doing here?", I ask.

"We weren't comfortable leaving you alone today. So we left a day early", Andrew replies, stroking my arm. Out of the corner of my eye I see a figure standing at the foot of the stairs. Raphael. He has his arms folded in front of his chest and is eyeing us intently. Andrew is standing too close to me. Raphael has clear ideas about Andrew's behaviour. And this, is clearly going too far. I know this because this is not the first time we have found ourselves in such a situation.

And the memory of a night almost ten years ago, likes to creep into Raphael's jealous subconscious in situations like this. All three of us were no children of sadness in our high school and college days.

"Loosen up Rapha", I say, withdrawing from Andrew's touch and heading down the stairs.

"Remember? I'm married", I say laughing and pointing to the ring on my finger. Raphael relaxes a little as Andrew breathes a kiss on his cheek and snuggles into his side.

"Why are you still wearing that? And what do you mean you're still married?", asks Raphael. Yes, why am I wearing this ring? I can't quite explain it either. It is not a requirement of the judge to wear a wedding ring.

"You know that the spare key is for emergencies? What brings you here?", I reply with a counter-question.

"Don't change the subject Magnus Bane." Raphael drops heavily onto the sofa and pulls Andrew possessively into his arms. They both look tired. Jet lag will hit in the next few hours.

"Our divorce hearing did not go as I had imagined. The judge felt that we should have a trial marriage. He was very taken with the ceremony video", I sigh and sink into the cushions of my sofa.

"He thought we were very much in love and clear at the moment of saying yes. And now I'm married for a year to a man I don't know. Alec is moving in with me in the next few days. Judge's stipulation. This is a disaster. This is exactly the situation I ran away from in Vegas. And now I have a husband. For whom I have no feelings whatsoever." Frustrated, I press one of the small sofa cushions to my face and let out a cry of despair. The fabric of the cushion muffles the sound, but it is still clearly audible.

"This is a really tricky situation", Raphael says. I just mumble in agreement.

"But you have to go through it now. We are here for you. You can always crash with us if it gets too much for you," Raphael says and then silence falls. Deep in thought, I imagine the coming months. It is difficult to form a picture. I don't know Alec, don't know anything about him. We wanted to talk, to get to know each other. Then the accident happened with the spilled beer and my hands on his skin.

"He's so young", I say quietly. "Twenty-one. That makes him seven years younger than me."

"There's nothing wrong with that, is there?," replies Andrew.

"I want to get this year over with as quickly as possible. After that, everyone goes their separate ways. Marriage is not for me. Without feelings, there's no point to any of it. And I definitely don't have feelings for Alec."

"Where is he supposed to sleep anyway? Your guest room is your office. And it's not exactly big. Not to mention stuffed to the ceiling with books." That's a fair question from Raphael. I haven't thought about that yet. This whole situation overwhelms me so much. I ruffle my hair and sigh loudly.

"I don't know. I can't very well let him sleep here on the sofa."

"Don't worry, I won't be a burden to you any longer than necessary", I suddenly hear Alec's voice. Fuck how long has he been standing there?