Alec is still holding my jacket and looks so lost and young at this moment. As if he doesn't know what to do now. I am shocked to realise that I know nothing about him except his name. We are married for another twelve months, we will live together. Sharing a table and a bed. And I know absolutely nothing about him. Because I didn't want to. In Vegas, I got the hell out of there as fast as I could. Alec wanted me to stay from the start, and we got to know each other.

"Why don't you sit down?", I say, pointing to the sofa. He looks at me a little uncertainly and I bridge the distance between us and take my jacket from his hands. Still slightly overwhelmed, he stands there and doesn't move. His facial expressions are not hard to read. At least not for me. Surprised, unsettled.

"This is where you live?", he finally asks. I nod.

"This is where I live. Have a seat. Let's talk", I say and pour us both a glass of water. My throat is dry, for the coming conversation does make me uncomfortable. The cool tingle on my tongue is wonderfully refreshing. Alec sits at the other end of the sofa and turns the now empty glass between his fingers. For a while we just sit next to each other in silence.

"It didn't go the way you wanted it to, did it?", asks Alec in a raspy voice.

"No. Not at all. But we have to make the best of the situation now." Nods of agreement from Alec signal to me that he agrees.

"And there's no way I'm going to live with you and your brother." I grimace a little in disgust. "I'm too old for a flat share."

Alec looks at me and his blue eyes capture me. Flickering wildly, the dark pupils dance around, masking the brilliant blue. The gears in his head run incessantly and the imaginary list of questions in his head grows longer and longer. I don't know what it is, but Alec's facial expressions give him away. I can read him like an open book. An uneasy feeling creeps over me. The thought of the next few months makes me uneasy.

"How old are you?", asks Alec suddenly, and now I'm the one looking at him in confusion.

"Twenty-eight", I answer hesitantly. Alec swallows hard. Is there a problem?

"Please tell me you're of age!", I blurt out in a panic.

"I'm twenty-one", says Alec quietly, kneading his hands in embarrassment.

"Good." I can't think of a better answer right now. Again, there's that silence. The silence wraps around us like a warming protective blanket. It confuses me. I clear my throat and force a smile.

"Let's just get the time around. Okay?", I say playfully cheerful, hoping Alec doesn't notice my charade. "Come on I'll show you the house. Let's start down here. Living area, as you can see. I don't own a television. So if you want to watch movies or trash documentaries, we'll have to work something out." Alec doesn't answer me. Instead, he stands up and takes a few steps across the room. He scans every inch with his eyes. I follow his gaze and notice the change in facial expression as he looks out into the garden.

"You'll find the kitchen over here. Small but nice. I quite like cooking. A small bathroom with shower is to your right." Both rooms are explored, I watch him go and can't help but wonder if I approached him in the bar or if he approached me. That memory is still elusive to me.

"Nice. Cosy. Even without a TV." A sly smile settles on the corners of his mouth. "You have lots of books. Do you read a lot?"

"That's my job. So yeah. I read a lot." Interested, Alec looks at me. And again the gears in his head are running at full speed.

"I'm a journalist. Actually. But I didn't feel like sitting in a dusty noisy open-plan office with other journalists. For the first few years, that was my life. But soon I realised it wasn't for me. The competition, the pressure. Who gets the story first? Who gets the front page? And so much more. It's different in the literary world. I've always read a lot. And then the book review position became available. I applied and my boss immediately loved my idea of writing a blog and a weekly column."

By now we are standing in my bedroom. The way up to the top floor I was so engrossed in my stories that I climbed the stairs as a matter of course, leaving the bathroom and my office on my left and heading straight for the bedroom. I stop abruptly and internally kick myself in the shins. Fuck that picture. With our history, I wish I could have spared him that sight.

My heart beats wildly against my chest and for a moment I fear that Alec will hurl all the swear words he knows at me.

"You have a voluptuous body Magnus", Alec murmurs in my ear. His breath beats hot against my skin and startled, I turn around as Alec bites lightly into my neck.

Our bodies collide and the beer in his hands spreads on our shirts. When did he take the bottle? Did he have it with him the whole time?

"Sorry", I say softly. But Alec just smiles.

"Now I've scared you", he says in a throaty voice and it sends a wave of adrenaline through my body. I seem to remember that it was that very pitch that intrigued me so much about him. And the unique blue of his eyes.

"We should shower", says Alec, bringing me back to the present. Silently, I nod, pushing past him to get fresh clothes for us. As I do, my hand brushes his penis and I feel it's hard. This is going in completely the wrong direction.

"I don't know if my clothes fit you, you're a stu..."

My speech centre goes on holiday and lets the sex mode take over. Alec is standing close to me. Shirtless. His wet shirt is lying somewhere and right now I don't care if it's on the bed or in front of it or in the kitchen.

My body makes itself independent. The clothes slip out of my hands and instead I place my fingertips on the soft skin of his neck. Slowly they trace the strong muscles, the carotid artery throbbing hotly as I touch it. His body still bears the marks of our wedding night. Pale, delicate, the marks gleam but I see them clearly in front of me. My fingertips tingle. I stroke his chest and feel it rise and fall, listen to his accelerated breathing. With circular movements I play around his nipples, they stand up, are hard and Alec's moan catapults me back into the here and now.

With gentle pressure I create a distance between us that clears my head again. Alec looks at me, frustrated and sad. Hastily, I leave my bedroom and lock myself in the bathroom. I need to take a shower. Very badly. I am painfully swollen and only because Alec moans like there is no tomorrow.