They remembered everything and they were still conscious and coherent but nobody would let them go home alone. After that first dance, they danced another one and joined their families. At first, Philip tried to stop her from taking a glass of wine but she promised she wouldn't drink more than two so he said yes. Cassandra remembered promising Mary to help Chanty with baby Willie's so-called WALKING PARTY and she also recalled Henry telling them he'd take them home in his car and that Philip could go back for his car the next day. Philip refused the offer but his friend insisted among others.

Henry Bell drove them home because they were both tipsy by the time the party was over despite Cassandra's incessant denial of having Henry Bell within a five-meter radius.

When they were finally home alone, they decided to have one last glass of wine. Philip looked at her as he handed her the wine and said, "You promised to tell me about your incredibly mysterious past."

She smiled and answered, "I know."

"Let's go to the balcony," and he then led her upstairs. She didn't know which balcony he was talking about but followed him anyway. She stopped in her tracks when he opened his bedroom door. His room was the other part of the house that she had never invaded.

"We're going inside your room," she stated without a question.

He frowned, "Why?" and when he saw her expression, he smiled naughtily and added, "We're not going to do what you have in mind..."

"I don't have anything in mind, you pervert. Just...okay, let's go have that talk and get this over with." She walked past him and entered his room and swept it with a glance. As expected, it was all manly and neat and dull. The sheets were dark gray—all of it, the furniture all black, and the walls plain and white. A man of his wealth should get a better interior designer, really.

Cassandra heard his chuckle as she strode inside and half-ran towards the glass door across the room that led to the balcony. "You said that out loud," he explained and she groaned. "You seem tense," he pointed out as he joined her outside.

"Shut up," she snapped, resting her elbows at the wood railing of the balcony, looked over and pointed, "Your view here is not great."

"I like it."

Really, it was not that great. It overlooked the street—no great view there. "What's to like watching the street and passing cars?"

"Cass," his gentle voice said behind her. Cassandra looked over her shoulder and saw that he was fixing her with a knowing look as he stood there leaning against the glass sliding door holding his wine glass. He knew she was stalling.

Whether she liked it or not, she thought she should tell him. She didn't want him to appear stupid in front of other people not knowing about Dennis or her past. And it might make him tell her something about the secret he was keeping with her father, the real reason why she was here in the first place.

Give and take, right? She'd tell him her secret and he'd tell her his.

She let out a breath, thinking where to start, and a long silence reigned between them for a long time. Funny how they get along with silence, she thought in passing.

Finally, she opened her mouth and said, "Two years ago, I was ready to walk down the aisle to get married."

He looked at her with a blank expression on his face and uttered, "Dennis?"

"How—" she stopped herself when she remembered he overheard Dennis' name during her phone conversation with Harrison on their honeymoon. "Yes," she answered. "He's Harrison's best friend." She took her glass to her lips and gulped down some wine. This was harder than she thought. She turned around to face Philip, leaned her back against the balcony and took a deep breath. "Dennis..." she played with her glass and watched the dark liquid move in a circle, "Dennis called off the wedding a day before we could say I do."

"And that's why you couldn't get over him?"

Cassandra shook her head. "It's not that. It was the accident that followed."

His eyebrows crossed. "Accident?"

"When Dennis told me we should call off the wedding, I was driving and he was in the passenger seat."

She heard his light intake of breath and he uttered, "Thus your phobia riding shotgun."

A faint smile formed on her lips. "I always feel like I am back on that day of the accident every time I'm near the steering wheel."

"What happened to him?"

"He did not get lucky as I did. I was shocked by his announcement and lost control of the wheel for a few seconds and before I knew it, another car was running fast toward us and it hit his side. He got the impact of the collision and now..." She stopped and swallowed, trying to control her emotions. Cassandra wasn't used to showing any weakness toward anyone. "And now Dennis is still in the hospital and in a coma." She broke the short silence with a snort. "I just find it stupid that he'd choose to tell me about that while I was driving. Can you believe that? I was driving and he thought it was the best time to drop the bomb. He could have chosen a much better time, right? I deserved to be seated with a good meal before he proposed to cancel the wedding." Shaking her head, Cassandra added, "But then Dennis always blurted out news out of thin air. He proposed while we were watching a movie, you know. Everything in his life he planned but I just guess when it came to me he was just too fucking random."

Her words must have stayed in the air after leaving her mouth because it took him time to react and when he did, it was not the reaction she expected. "You got to be freaking kidding me," he blurted out.

"Of course I'm not, you dimwit," she said dryly.

"Then he's still alive?"

"Of course! What did you think?" Anger was starting to rise up in her now.

"I'm sorry. I just thought—I'm really sorry."

Cassandra took a deep breath. He was lucky she had a good amount of alcohol running through her veins right now. "It's fine."

"Do you still see him?"

"No, not for a year now. Harrison gives me updates and all, but I stopped seeing him more than a year ago. It's kind of complicated."

He was silent for a long time and Cassandra anxiously waited for his next words.

"Do you still love him?"

His question took her by surprise and she snapped her eyes to meet his and what she saw made her wonder. His face was unreadable, but his eyes were glittering with...hope? Hope for what?

She chose to ignore that one for the moment and decided to answer his question truthfully. "I don't know." She shrugged. "All I know is that it was my entire fault."

He shook his head. "No it was not. You never wished for any of it to happen. As you've said, it was stupid of him to drop such big news while you were driving."

"That's the problem. I was the one driving."

"And you were taken by surprise. You never knew what would have happened. It would have been the same if he was behind the wheel, Cassandra. You can never know."

She was tired of bantering over that matter. Harrison and her parents had told her the very same things two years ago. "I don't know..."

"Is that why you haven't had anyone after the accident?"

"No, I...I don't believe I still love him—but I'll never know that for certain unless I get to see and talk to Dennis."

"Let me get this straight," he held up one hand. "You never committed with anyone because you are not certain if you're still in love with the man who broke up with you the day before your wedding?"

Coming from him, it sounded stupid but what he said was the exact truth. Dennis falling into a coma left her hanging. She never had the chance to know his reasons for calling off the wedding.

He could have had a petty reason like a very important meeting or a bad stomach. There might have been problems with reservations. She never shared these thoughts with anyone because it was stupid, but she also believed that anything was possible.

She never had the chance to know if she should wait or not. All in all, she had been floating in the air like she was inside a thin bubble that was about to pop and she didn't know where she would fall.

And at this moment in her life, the bubble had long popped and she was still falling without knowledge of where her frail self would land.

Right now, she was falling... just falling.

Her eyes searched Philip's and their gazes locked once more.

For the first time, she wondered why they bothered to argue every time they got the chance when in fact they really got along just fine. They were both comfortable to be in one space with the silence, both of them knowing what the other was thinking.

For the short time she had been with him, she knew him well enough. Maybe he was right. She brought out the worst in him. And knowing someone in their worst could make you appreciate them in their best. And that was the case with Philip. She knew him as the husband who was arrogant and moody, and she also knew him as the man who was caring with kids and tender when it came to real display of emotions.

Just like now when she finally laid out her past in front of him, making herself vulnerable, and he was staring at her in that tender and caring way of his that she only got to see once in a blue moon.

"Now you know the real story," she whispered, her eyes not leaving his.

He nodded slowly and pulled away from the door to walk toward her. Cassandra's heart began to hammer once more.

There was so much in him that reminded her of Dennis, but there were also things that made her think otherwise.

Being with Philip was different. She never lost track of time nor the surroundings when she was with Dennis. She never had a single fight with him like she had with the man standing before her. Her actions were not as carefree when she was with Dennis—she was always Ms. Prim and Proper because it was what was expected of her.

With Philip, she was herself and despite his controlling streak, he let her and she honestly didn't know if it was a good thing. Their relationship was new and different for her. Acting without deeply analyzing things had always been natural with him, but it seemed that it had not brought him or this relationship any good.

As a matter of fact, she caused him enough trouble to kick her out of his house. But on the other hand, she didn't have anything to be sorry about because it was all his and her father's fault.

Cassandra mentally shook her head. Her crazy mind went berserk once again, causing yet another indecipherable train of thoughts to keep her awake the whole night. Recently, she found it difficult to fall into a deep slumber and she knew it was because of the thought that just within a few paces away, her husband lay sleeping in his own room.

Again, she shook her head to erase another uncomfortable image. She forced herself to think about the fact that theirs was a marriage of convenience—well, on her father's part anyway. Philip was holding a secret from her and she intended to find out about it. She must focus on those things—those things that will have great impact on her and those she held dear.

But her thoughts committed suicide down the balcony the moment Philip's hand rested on her arm, his eyes searching hers. "Now I know..." he whispered, his breath brushing against her face—that was how close he was.

Cassandra didn't have any words to say to that because the little particles of alcohol had already calmed her senses and released her precautions from their bounds where they jumped down the balcony along with her thoughts. R.I.P, superego, she thought.

Like every time they were that close, everything else was forgotten. His hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it took her glass from her and placed it on the balcony together with his, and as he did that, his nose nuzzled her own, their lips just centimeters away. The teasing game went on like forever before they both impatiently pulled one another in a gripping embrace, fire burning their lips as they let their senses take the lead.

Yes, in a way Philip was very much like Dennis. He was a control freak, a hard worker. But in many ways, he was different as well.

Because he made her feel different.

He could make her feel things she never felt with anyone else. If it were a year ago, she would have pulled away. But this time there was no one—even a barking dog—or anything to make them stop.

And whether or not she believed it, she was completely healed now and she was willing to dive into the depth of whatever this thing she had with her husband was.

She was willing to face the consequences, willing herself to finally be free from all the guilt she felt—free from the prison she created to punish herself. This time—this moment—was hers. No more thoughts of Dennis, no questions about her father's secrets, no more thoughts of what she would do to herself after she woke up from this dreamland that was called Philip.

Right now, she would be true.

With that final notice, she wrapped her arms around her husband's neck and pressed closer, molding her body to his. His one arm went around her to press her even closer as his other hand found her nape, untangling her bun with his fingers. His lips tasted like wine, his breath warm and urgent against her face.

She didn't care how they managed to blindly walk back inside where the warmth of his room ignited the growing fire between them. She couldn't even care how he managed to zip her down her dress, exposing her back, and ran his long strong fingers against her bare skin. She couldn't remember as well how her fingers worked with his tie and shirt. And she was pretty sure both of them couldn't tell how their feet brought them toward the bed where they fell and reunited with an unstoppable fiery passion. It was a good thing though that there was no more baby Willie to witness the flying of their clothes across the room because that would be very horrible.

But what Cassandra was feeling right now was far from horrible. She was feeling every pleasant feeling Philip's hand, lips and body were causing to her own.

Cassandra never cared that everything happened so fast, nor did she care that she never planned for any of it to happen.

But it did happen.

It was bound to.

And it felt so right.

His lips running kisses down her throat was like heaven, the feel of his naked amazing body against hers was the best thing she ever felt, his skilled hands gripping hers as they finally joined together was as good as any of her paintbrushes.

He cupped her face in his hands as they danced to their own music, his blue eyes full of emotions that were new to her, and at that moment, being intimately close to him, she felt like crying. She didn't know why but the tear trickled down her cheek and he kissed it away in the gentlest way.

"Don't cry, babe..." he whispered close to her ear before claiming her mouth once more.

Cassandra willed her tears to make the U-turn. Crying at that exact moment was the least thing to do, so she wrapped her arms around him and enjoyed the feel of him intimately united to her. Stupid as it was but she really thought that she was too proud to have waited that long to have a taste of this.

The night went on unknowingly for both of them as they surrendered to the desire that had been lingering around them for quite too long now.

Finally, they were wise to know that it was just a matter of time. Everything else would have to wait.

*****

The moment Cassandra opened her eyes, she smiled. Though it did not yet come to her what happened last night, she knew she was feeling contented and happy.

Then she froze when she felt Philip's heavy arm over her waist and she looked down. "Oh my God..." she gaped, realizing what she had done.

She made love to her husband.

Oh God. Made love to my husband. Not such a big thing, right?

But oh my God, we did it.

She checked under the covers again to see if she was not just hallucinating and to her horror, she thought right—and remembered right. She clamped her hand over her mouth and she closed her eyes with a groan.

She almost yelped as Philip's hand traveled down her spine to her lower back and she instinctively leaned away from his chest mouthing 'Oh my God!' in the process. Her head slowly looked up and she opened her eyes to find his blue ones smiling down at her with a lazy, sleepy look.

"Hi," he murmured.

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean what did I do?" he asked absently as his eyes closed once more and his arm pulled her closer to him. She could feel every inch of him now.

"What did we do?"

"Do you really have to ask such a stupid question?" he groaned sleepily.

"Philip," she poked his arm with one finger.

"What?"

"What happened?"

"Really, Cass, you should stop and think for a second. Don't ask questions that are obviously answered by just one look."

Cassandra moaned. She was hoping he would say nothing really happened and she just had a bad dream—a really erotic, hot bad dream—that they were both too drunk and just drowsed off before doing the act.

Her mind was reeling with so much thought now.

How would she continue this thing with Philip? The boundaries she had set up were now gone in just a short span of time. They had finally consummated their marriage and it would have been great if it was actually a real marriage thing but it was not—it was a result of some deal her father had with him.

Now what happens? She couldn't just pack and leave, right? What? What happens now?

She badly wanted to ask him that same question but part of her was afraid of what his answer would be.

The fear she felt made her stop for a moment.

She was afraid he'd say what they had was just nothing—that it was just a one-time thing he would have done with anyone, that nothing changed. Yes, she was afraid he'd say it meant nothing.

Oh God, this is really bad...

Okay, Cassandra, get a hold of your self. Think... What do you do now? She asked herself.

Act like nothing happened. Don't talk about it. Everything will just fall to their places when the time comes. You just go on...it was just sex and you enjoyed it as much as he did. Don't let what happened keep you from anything. In the end, it will all be all right.

Yes, that's it. That's right. Keep calm and ride with the flow. You're good at it. Just guard your feelings, moron.

Yup, guard it good.

Finally done debating with herself, Cassandra took a deep breath and sighed.

Surrender. Yes, she just had to accept that the sexual part of their relationship had been a long time coming. Both of them knew it would end up to this—they just chose to postpone it for nearly a month.

She leaned her forehead against Philip's chest and closed her eyes. For now, she'd sleep some more and when she'd wake up everything would be back to normal. Philip's arm tightened around her as his lips kissed her head and travelled down to her jaw. Her senses awakened once more but she did not pull away. Instead, she moved her head so their lips met for a kiss. She was tired of depriving herself of the pleasure his touches brought her.

Oh, yes, everything would be back to normal, alright.