When I open my eyes, I find myself staring directly into the soul of Jersey the cat. Her green eyes are only a couple inches from mine, and before I can react, she proceeds to rub her face against mine, cheek to cheek, purring. If I woke up like this every morning, maybe I wouldn't hate mornings so much.

"Hey, girl," I say quietly, scratching her behind her ears. Raven and Ryder are probably still asleep in their rooms. "What time is it, anyway?"

I reach down on the floor, searching for my phone until my fingertips brush against it. When I hold it in front of my face and see the time, I immediately feel sick. The onslaught of messages from Laura ranging from worried to furious only makes it worse.

"Shit, shit, shit," I say, jumping from the couch and pulling my hoodie over my head. I'm no longer trying to be quiet by the time I'm at the front door, hopping around as I try to pull my shoes on with one hand and type a frantic message back to Laura with the other. It reads, "I'm sorry, I woke up late! On my way now!" I hope that's enough.

Ryder appears in the living room, rubbing his eyes hard enough to see stars. "What the fuck is going on out here?" he asks groggily.

"Laura wanted me home earlier this morning. It's almost noon, Ryde!" I say as I yank on my laces, tying my sneakers too tightly. "She's gonna kill me."

"Oh, shit," he says, suddenly alert. "I didn't realize it was so late. Should I come with you incase she—"

"No. Absolutely not," I cut him off before he even gets to finish his sentence. "I think someone else showing up, a guy she doesn't know, would only make it worse," I explain quickly. Laura still thinks I'm straight, after all.

My hand is on the door handle when Raven says from behind me, "Where you going, Way?"

I'm really starting to panic now, knowing that every second I'm not home is another second of Laura getting angrier about me not being there when she wanted me to. "I'm supposed to be home!" I yell over my shoulder, leaving it to Ryder to explain the rest.

I don't run. Or, I didn't think I did until I ran down the stairs in the apartment building, flew out the door, and down the street towards Laura's house. If I'd lived here longer, I might know a shortcut. Unfortunately, I don't know a shortcut and the small town is a lot busier today than I'd usually expect it to be early on a Saturday. The way back is also usually quite nice. Some of the houses are beautiful. They're old, they have character. I don't get to stop and look at them now, though, as they zoom past, my heart pumping and my lungs burning by the time I get to Laura's doorstep.

She opens the door for me, as though she'd been standing, peering out the window, waiting for me. Instead of passing the threshold like she's obviously expecting me to, staring at me with an unreadable look on her face, albeit an unpleasant one, I collapse on the top step and lean against the railing.

"I r- I ran home... c-can't breathe," I choke out.

From the corner of my eye I can see her stand in the doorway with her arms crossed, that expression never leaving her face, for a full minute until my lungs have recovered. I'm afraid to look up at her.

"There was one condition when I allowed you to stay out last night," she reminds me sternly.

I tuck my hair behind my ear like shy little kid and keep my eyes on my feet. "We overslept," I say quietly, bracing myself for her yelling.

I hear her inhale deeply, then exhale all the air in her lungs. "Don't do it again."

I blink, my eyebrows knit, but assure her, "I won't."

"Good," she says. "Now come in, get some water. And I made lunch."

"Can I just sit out her for a minute? I need some air." I still haven't taken my eyes off my shoes, yet I can imagine her rolling her eyes at me behind my back.

She replies a lot more pleasantly than I was expecting, "Of course."

The door creaks as it swings shut slowly, then I hear it click when it finally closes.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, hold my hands out in front of me to see that they're trembling. I thought for sure she was going to yell at me, maybe take my phone away for longer than a week this time. I even thought she might hurt me. My facade would crumble. I'd cry in front of her, show weakness, and all the effort I've put into holding in my tears since I've been here would have been for nothing.

I take a few deep breaths to try and calm down. With my eyes closed, I focus on the sound of the birds chirping, cars rushing by every so often, the feeling of a light breeze on my face. When I'm ready, I stand up, my knees only slightly weak, and head inside. I have a feeling I'm going to be sore tomorrow from running the couple miles from Raven and Ryder's place.

"Did you have a good time at your friend's house?" Laura asks when I sit down for the meal. Leftovers.

"Uh, yeah. We watched a movie last night and just hung out," I say, not meeting her eyes.

"I'm so glad you made friends already," she says, takes a bite of her food, swallows, then goes on, "Tell me about them, why don't you?"

"Well, there's Raven." I decide to keep it vague, thinking it might not sit well with Laura to know that I knew Raven from Jersey, and that they know all about My Chemical Romance. I'm pretty sure Laura sees Gerard as some sort of nemesis. "And there's Ryder. He talked to me first on my first day of school, and I guess we just instantly clicked."

"He did, did he?" she says.

That's when I realize my mistake.

• • •

Evelyn: laura thinks I have a secret boyfriend or something

Emerald: Haha what!?

Evelyn: yeah we were having lunch and then I ended up talking about ryder and now she thinks we're a thing or that I like him or he likes me... I don't even know

Emerald: You better not go replacing me ;)

Evelyn: too gay for that

and ily

Emerald: I love you too, but I have homework to do so I'll talk to you later <3

I lay back on my bed, smiling in spite of myself. I told Emerald I wasn't going to mix her into all this and she was okay with it. Laura doesn't know a thing about her and I intend to keep it that way, keeping my private life in Jersey, and the fake one here separate. And not to mention Laura's nose out of my love life and avoiding the whole "coming out" thing with her. I was silly to think for even a second that Gerard wouldn't accept me, but with her there's no way to tell. I'm just keeping myself safe.

That's it. I have to talk to him. I have to face this stupid fear, pick up my phone, and call him. He's always been there for me and then I decided to push him away, and I'm not even sure why.

I shouldn't be nervous as I wait for him to pick up the call, but our last conversation ended on a sour note, so I am.

I almost chicken out, hang up, but then he picks up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Dad." I pick at the skin around my nails anxiously.

"Evie, hi!" He sounds so happy to hear my voice, guilt instantly grows in my chest, swells with every breath I take.

Breathlessly, I begin my apology I should've scripted beforehand. "I'm so, so sorry, Dad. I shouldn't have hung up on you last time and I should've called again sooner, I just got scared of— I don't know what I was scared of, but I should've called."

I hear him sigh. "That's in the past, okay? It's okay. I'm just glad you're talking to me now."

It does nothing to shrink that balloon of guilt, pressing up against my lungs. I don't want him to be so quick to forgive me, so gentle. He should be angry with me, he should be yelling. I want him to pop the balloon with sharp words that I deserve. Still, I pretend that it is okay. "Alright. I miss you," I say weakly.

"I miss you too, Eve. How are you doing? How's school?"

"School's fine. I've managed to raise my grades slightly," I say flatly.

"That's great!"

"Yeah," I say, laughing slightly. Mostly at the way he sounds genuinely proud. It just goes to show how low his expectations of me are. The only person pressuring me to be perfect is me and my anxiety (and maybe Laura). "I have some good news, though. Something you should be more proud of than the fact that I'm simply passing my classes."

"Oh yeah?"

"I made a couple friends. I've been hanging out with them all week." I decide to avoid mentioning Raven's name. He found out all about them and Krash and Zero after the whole incident in the park. I know his reaction would probably be a hundred times worse than Emerald's if I did bring Raven up. And God forbid Frank finds out, especially after what happened the first— and last— time they came into contact.

"That's so great to hear!" he exclaims. I hear him call out to whoever is near him, probably Lindsey, "Evie made friends!"

The response I hear doesn't sound like Lindsey, though, and instead Frank's muffled voice replies, "Give me the phone!" There's a slight commotion on the other end of the line, Frank taking Gerard's phone from his hand, no doubt, then he yells, "Eve! You made friends? Like, real ones?"

"Yes, real ones!" I say, pulling my phone away from my ear before I go deaf. "And maybe instead of fighting my dad for his phone, you could put the call on speaker-mode."

"Ah, good thinking," I hear him say, then, "Okay, you're on speaker. Everyone's here."

"Everyone?"

Frank, Gerard, Mikey, and Ray all start talking over each other, asking about my friends, about school, about how I am in general. Hearing all their voices flipped a switch in my brain and my mood instantly lifts. I know it won't last long and my spirits will dampen again as soon as we hang up the call, but for now I'm content. If I close my eyes tightly enough, it's almost as though I'm back home with them.