Lovino lay awake in bed thinking of what Feliciano had said. Feliciano knew he was in love. Feliciano thought he should tell Antonio. That was where the simple part ended. He should tell Antonio, because he might not get another chance, but if he told him then he would have so much to lose... except, he still had so much to lose, no matter what he told Antonio.

But then he had to tell Antonio. How to tell someone you love them? Wouldn't it be easier to not tell? But then again, it wouldn't. Lovino had clearly tried not telling and it had obviously not worked. Maybe, he should.... Sort it out in the morning. He was to tired to do anymore.

Lovino woke up to find that Feliciano was gone. Lovino didn't question where he was, Feli was with Ludwig, one last time.

Lovino got up, and got dressed before going out to the kitchen. In the kitchen, there was something he was not prepared to find. Antonio was in the kitchen, drinking coffee at the table. He smiled broadly.

"Hello Lovi, I was wondering when you would get up. I came over after the meeting because of Feli, but he seems fine. How are you?"

"Fine, bastard."

"Good, Roma said you were both tired."

"No," Lovino really didn't know what he was doing. He wanted to tell Antonio how he felt, but he was so used to hiding...

"Did Feli's break down have something to do with the German soldier?" Antonio asked casually.

"Yeah..." Lovino didn't really want this to be what he spent his morning on. As important as it was, he didn't want to think of Feli, or Feli's problems. Antonio didn't ask anymore questions about Feliciano, and Lovino didn't know what to say, so they stood in silence for a few minutes. Lovino, who had been standing in the doorway, walked over and sat down on the table, legs hanging down over the side.

Lovino looked at Antonio's face, and saw that it looked like he was debating whether to do something or not. After a while, the storm on his face cleared, and he spoke again, his expression playful.

"Hey, do you remember the name of that song?"

"What song, idiota?" Lovino asked harshly, knowing completely well what song Antonio was talking about.

"The one that you played on your guitar, mi corazon. Wonderfully, may I say." Lovino felt himself flush and struggled to keep his wall up. But wasn't this what he wanted? To let his wall down? He answered Antonio, less harsh this time.

"Oh, that one. Besame Mucho," he said, growing even deeper red as he pronounced the name. He tucked his head to his chest and avoided eye contact with Antonio, who was now standing directly in front of him.

Antonio put his hand out, hesitated, and grabbed Lovi's chin, making him stare deep into his eyes.

"And do you know what 'Besame Mucho' means?" He said this almost like a challenge, daring Lovino to answer correctly.

And Lovino, finally, did not refuse the challenge. "Kiss me. A lot." And Antonio did.

Antonio leaned into Lovino and gently held the back of his head in his hands and pressed his lips softly to Lovino's. Lovino could hardly breath. This, this was what he had wanted from the moment he realized he loved Antonio, from, and Lovino loved it, to feel Antonio, close and warm and sweet. Antonio, whispered Lovino's name and Lovino moaned in delight, and Antonio's tongue began delicately touching his own.

Lovi placed his hands on Antonio's shoulders and leaned into the kiss, forgetting all his resolve, simply wanting to be with Antonio, closer, more...

"Lovino? Grandpa? I need to... "

Antonio jumped away from Lovino and knocked over a chair.

Lovino turned, face red with embarrassment, toward Feliciano, "Feliciano! You should knock before..." Feliciano was soaking wet, and his face was red from crying, "Feliciano?"

Feliciano ran into Lovino's arms, now crying again. Lovino cautiously held Feli, "Feli, you're scaring me, what's wrong?" Feliciano didn't say anything, "You went to see him, didn't you?" Feli nodded, still not speaking, "I'm sorry, I really..."

"I'm so sorry, Lovino," the word stopped Lovino dead. He pushed Feliciano away and looked into his eyes, Feliciano's full of fear and sadness.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Lovino couldn't bear to think what Feliciano's apology meant. Maybe... maybe it was something, anything else...

"I told him."

The words filled Lovino's head and reverberated like a gunshot. Lovino's vision was tainted red and he could hardly speak. He fought to control himself, "You told him. Do you... have any... idea what you've done?" Lovino fought to find comprehensible words to explain.

"I'm sorry," Feliciano said the words barely audible. Unable to touch Lovino's rage.

"I let you go to him, Feliciano. I let you go to him. I knew you loved him but I never thought... I never believed you would betray us! Betray your country, your blood! NEVER! Do you know how long we've worked for this? What people have gone through to manage this? This was our chance! Our chance to get the Germans out! And you've RUINED EVERYTHING!!" Antonio put a gentle hand on Lovino's shoulder to quiet him so Lovino kicked the wall, but it just hurt, and he cried out in frustration.

Feliciano's face streaked with dry tears was quickly being overwhelmed by more wet tear tracks, streaking down his cheeks and collecting at his jaw. Antonio came over to him and sat him down in a chair and spoke to him softly, "Lovino told me about your German friend, Feli."

"Oh," Feliciano turned to Lovino, "You promised."

"I promised not to tell Grandpa... An enormous mistake, obviously!" Lovino was still burning with anger, but Antonio shook his head at him and Lovino tried to calm down.

"Okay, Feli. First of all, tell me what you do with this German soldier."

"He's a pilot," Leave it to Feli to completely miss the point.

"All right, this pilot. What has he... has he ever..." Antonio searched for the words he wanted, "What do you... do, together? Exactly?"

"Well, we talk. And go walking. And he's teaching me to speak German, but I'm not very good at remembering it, not as he is at remembering Italian, only he always pronounces the words wrong. And we pick flowers and we laugh and we sing. Well, I do. And the other day we played soccer. I won." Feli seemed comforted by the memory, but his smile was sad.

"And that's it? That's all? He just... talks to you?" Antonio seemed expectant of something, but it appeared he wouldn't get it.

"What else would he do?"

"Nothing. Good, right. Now, this morning. What exactly did you tell him?"

"I'm sorry. I told him about the American landing tomorrow. About the attack during the meeting. And he... he... he knows I'm in the resistance," Feliciano said the words like they themself hurt him.

Antonio paused, "All right, does he know of our meeting place in the cantina?"

"No, I never mentioned it."

"Does he know where you live?"

"Not exactly."

"Feliciano, this is very important. Did you ever tell this German your surname?"

Feliciano lowered his head, "Yes."

"Does he know he know Lovi..." Antonio corrected himself, but at this point it really wouldn't matter, "I mean, does he know you have a brother? And, and a grandfather? Does he know their names?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter, because he would never hurt them..."

"Lovino, we have to get you away from the village," Antonio's eyes flashed with panic and fear.

Lovino shook his head. He wasn't leaving. Not for Feliciano's stupid mistake, not for his stupid German, "No. I can't leave. Where would I Go. Besides if this German is what Feliciano says he is, we are not in any danger. And if he is not... well, let the bastard try to take us."

Antonio laughed, he actually laughed, "Lovino listen to me. This is no time to be brave. Do you know what the Gestapo do to resistance members? You have to get away, now, both of you."

"What do you think Feliciano?" Lovino said, daring Feliciano to speak against his pilot, "This German of yours. Will he have us arrested? Should we run? You said he was a good man. But how much do you trust him?"

"I trust him. He will not arrest him, I swear it," Feliciano said it with such conviction and certainty, that Lovino almost believed him. Lovino really thought they could be at risk, but he also knew Antonio would not leave before the mission, and he didn't dare leave him here.

Antonio was not swayed. He grabbed Lovino's wrist and looked into his eyes, Antonio's full of fear, Lovino looking back at him with defiance, "Lovino please, what they would do to you..." Lovino felt himself being pulled toward Antonio, his whole form pleading with him, "You don't understand. I've seen it, and I will die a thousand deaths if they do that to you. You must leave. We can not take the chance."

"Feliciano seems to think we should."

"Believe me," Feliciano said, his eyes locked with Lovino's, "Ludwig would not have us arrested."

Antonio froze and turned to look at Feli, "You said your German was a pilot?"

"Yes."

"And his name is Ludwig?"

"Yes, that's right," Feliciano seemed just as confused as Lovino felt.

"What's his surname?"

"Beilschmidt. Ludwig Beilschmidt. He's a Lieutenant."

Antonio's mouth fell open in shock. Lovino didn't understand and neither did Feli, but a small smile was crawling onto Antonio's face. And then he began to laugh, so much he appeared to not be breathing well. Lovino shook his head at this clear display of insanity.

"You crazy bastard."

Antonio, still laughing managed to say, "I need to sit down," as he collapsed into a chair, recovering from his fit.

"You crazy, crazy bastard. Have you finally cracked?"

Antonio was still trying not to laugh, "You're not in any danger. The Germans will be prepared for the landing however. And we have no way to warn the Americans this late."

"What does that mean?" Feli asked, clearly still confused, Lovino was no better.

"It means things are going to get a little messy." Antonio looked up at Feli, "It also means we're going to have to tell your Grandpa."

Feliciano suddenly looked sick, "What... what will you tell him exactly?"

Antonio looked stern, but gentle, "I'll try to leave some things out, but he has to know about this Feli."

"He'll kill me."

"No he won't," Antonio smiled at Feli, who was obviously not comforted.

"Well he should. I betrayed him. I betrayed everyone. I'm just a traitor, I deserve to be shot, you said it, Lovino, you said you would kill me if I betrayed Italy, so please just do it, do it because there's nothing left now anyway," Feliciano had stood and was sobbing, kicking the chair, "Please Lovino. Please just kill me."

Lovino stood and stared for a moment at Feliciano, who was so very deeply regretful, he was begging Lovino to kill him. Why had he said that? Lovino looked at Feliciano, his eyes soft, "Don't be stupid, Feli," Lovino reached out and held Feliciano, "As if I ever could." And Feliciano cried. More.

.

Lovino waited for Antonio and Roma to be done, to be done explaining and yelling and throwing things. Finally Antonio walked out of the kitchen. He looked tired and beaten.

"What happened?"

"Well, I told Roma that Feliciano had made friends with a German pilot and Roma cursed at the sky. I told him that Feliciano had told the pilot that there would be an invasion and he kicked the wall, and knocked something off a shelf. Then I told him that the German knew who we are, but I know the man and trust him. He threw a chair at my head," Antonio explained smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"How dare he throw something at you! It's not your fault that Feliciano told the German! And..."

"Lovino, I have to leave. Your grandfather thinks I'm a bad influence, and he has asked me not to come around here."

"WHAT?!"

"He says it is my fault that Feliciano has met Ludwig. I know it's not, and that he will ask me for information again, and he is mostly just angry, but I won't be back for a while," Antonio tried not to look sad, but he was doing a poor job of it.

"You can't... he..." Lovino didn't know what to do. He would see Antonio at the cantina, but that would be much less, if the mission worked, though that looked unlikely. And then they had to work on more important things, for Italy. But to Lovino, nothing was more important than Antonio, "He can't force you to stay away, you'll be at the cantina and you'll still be around town... "

"No Lovino, I'm going away again. I've been here far too long, and I'm needed in other places. I've been avoiding it for a awhile, but now that I can't be here, I have no reason to stay."

"Antonio..." Lovino wanted to tell him not to go. That he had all the reason to stay. That Lovino loved him, loved him so much it made his chest hurt, and his head fuzzy. Lovino wanted to yell it at the top of his lungs.

But he couldn't. He was still too scared, of what, he did not know.

"Goodbye, Lovino. I may not see you after the mission," Antonio said sadly.

"You better make it back, bastard."

Antonio kissed Lovino's cheek, setting fire to Lovino's face, despite his sadness and anger. Antonio turned to leave. Lovino watched him until he was only a dot on the horizon.

And it hit Lovino. This could be it.

Antonio was going away for a mission and then he was leaving the town and Lovino didn't know when he would see him again. Antonio would be away doing dangerous things, things he could be killed for, things he could be tortured for. Lovino may not ever see Antonio again. Every time Antonio left could be the last time. Why would Lovino leave so much up to chance? How could he just let Antonio go, if he might never see him again. Lovino might not get to tell Antonio he loved him.

Lovino began to imagine that he would never see Antonio, never say he loved him, never say goodbye. He began to feel tears in his eyes and then on his checks. He was so scared. Lovino was scared to tell Antonio, a man who already loved him, how he felt. Lovino heard Feliciano make a noise as he moved through the house. Feliciano had admitted to loving an enemy pilot who had the power to kill him. Why did Lovino have to be so scared?

"Lovino? Has Antonio left?"

Lovino jumped and looked at Feliciano, he wiped his eyes, "I am such a coward Feliciano."

Feliciano surprised Lovino, "Without fear there can be no courage. Ludwig told me that."

"Just because I love you does not mean I have forgiven you, Feliciano."

"I know." Feliciano sounded so tired and so broken.

"You really risked everything for this German, didn't you?" Lovino didn't want to talk about how he felt about Feliciano right now. He really wouldn't be able to stay so angry, but he wanted to.

"I didn't have a choice. I love him," The words made Lovino's heart ache. He knew what Feliciano ment. He didn't have a choice to risk things. You're always risking something, Antonio had been taking risks from the first time they meet. He had been taking huge risks. What had Lovino done? He had denied every smile, every moment every heart wrenching emotion that had drawn him to Antonio. He couldn't not take risks. He couldn't keep denying. It wouldn't be fair, not to Antonio, not to Lovino. It wouldn't matter if Lovino got hurt...

"I think I need to..." Lovino had to explain. He had to tell Antonio. He didn't have a choice, some things are worth the risk,"I have to go."

Lovino ran out in the rain, trying to remember where Antonio's apartment was.

Lovino found the building he was looking for and headed for the stairs. It didn't take long to find and he ran up, to Antonio's room. Lovino stared at the door for a moment. This was his last chance to go back. Once he knocked on the door he would have to explain himself, if anything, his reason for being there, soaking wet and out of breath. Lovino shook his head. He had to do this. He knocked. And waited. No answer. Lovino stood listening to the door. He had done a lot of listening behind doors, but this was one situation he never imagined.

He heard footsteps on the stairs. Antonio came walking up the hall. He stared for a moment at Lovino, shocked to see him. Lovino's cheeks burned with embarrassment, and he looked at his feet.

"Shut up, bastard."

Antonio walked past Lovino and fitted a key into the apartment door, "Hello Lovi, come in."

Lovino followed him inside then stood by the door, dripping water on the floor. The same floor of the same room in the same apartment as that afternoon when he was fifteen. He remembered the warmth and safety of Antonio's strong gentle arms, and the incredible, unexplainable feelings, coursing through him. Lovino didn't move. Antonio walked over to the drawers, rummaging around a moment, until he came up with a shirt and pants.

"Here, you're soaking wet," Antonio held out the clothes to Lovino. Lovino took them and raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

"Just change here. I won't look," Antonio put his fingers over his eyes, a smile on his lips. Lovino's jaw dropped. He didn't move. "Go ahead," Antonio encouraged, teasingly.

"You're looking."

Antonio sighed and moved his hands so his palms covered his eyes, Lovino reluctantly pulled off his soaking boots and then his shirt and pants, pulling Antonio's clothes on, "They're too big."

"Would you rather be naked?" Antonio said, smile still present.

"No!" Lovino's cheeks were burning even more. Antonio wasn't making this easy.

"Okay then. What brings you here?" Antonio asked, grinning like a madman.

Lovino stopped. He hadn't really been moving, but everything stopped. He stopped breathing, and Antonio stopped moving. He didn't know what to say. "I came... I ..."

Antonio looked at Lovino, his big, beautiful green eyes locked on him.

"I have something to tell you," Lovino looked down. He was going to stop breathing. He would start to hyperventilate, he would make a fool of himself and... and Antonio was looking at him, almost straight faced, his eyes hopeful, like a lost dog.

"I... I'm not like you. I can't do the whole long extended explanation or the poetic words. I can't make it all perfect, but..." Lovino looked up at Antonio, eyes sparkling, looking so beautiful, just sitting on the end of his bed, eyes so big and full, like nothing in the world would ever matter more to him than this moment. Lovino felt the weight of the moment, Antonio's hopeful eyes, the way he was biting his lip nervously, fill up every part of Lovino, as though his chest might burst from too much ardor, to much heart, too much Antonio. Lovino's words were barely a whisper, "...I love you."

Lovino looked up at Antonio to find him right next to him, smiling like hell could take the world, and him with it, and nothing would matter. He lifted Lovino up of the ground, holding his waist and kissed him.

"I love you too, Lovi," the words sent a thrill down Lovino's spine and he kissed Antonio. Antonio had told him before, but never like this. Before Lovino had been captive to his own lies, unable to say a word. But now when Antonio said them, Lovino could finally have those words, I love you, precious and meaningful, not like the thousand times Lovino had heard the same words before. He should have taken them sooner.