Antonio awoke still with his head in Lovi's lap, his hand entangled in his hair. Lovino had his eyes closed and he looked so peaceful, just sitting there, not glaring or cursing or pretending. God, Lovi was getting worse and worse at pretending. Those beautiful eyes were so full of how much he wanted Antonio. Maybe, he could get Lovi to break. To give. And then... And then. God, Antonio wanted for Love to love him. Wanted him to say it.

Lovi opened one eye and looked at Antonio. "What are you looking at, bastard?" Antonio laughed. Lovi glared, but he was trying so hard, "Come on, Grandpa has a fire inside."

Antonio stood and wandered into the house, a little groggy from sleep.

"Hello Antonio, how did you sleep?" Roma said it good naturedly, but his eyes still held a hint of a warning. Too late Roma, you've noticed much too late.

"Fine, thank you."

"Have you seen Feliciano? He's late again," Lovino asked warily. Feli had been coming home later, but Antonio wasn't overly concerned. The boy wasn't all that focused and was easily distracted.

"I'm sure he's fine Lovino, come Antonio, we have things to discuss." Antonio gritted his teeth at the command but his smile didn't waver as he followed Roma.

.

Lovino was only half paying attention to what Grandpa Rome was saying, from his vantage point on the couch by the stairs. Antonio seemed to be listening, but every now and then he'd smile a bit at Lovino and go back to discussing battle plans. But Lovino had tuned them out almost completely. There was going to be some collaborative work with the Americans to get the Germans to leave Italy.

And Antonio was smiling, but in the fight, in the war, in this one mission, he could die. He could be captured. The fact that he could lose Antonio at almost any moment he was away was sneaking into Lovino's thoughts more and more and making him afraid. Afraid for Antonio and his life, and afraid for Lovino's heart that was so in love with him no matter how he tried to protect it.

Antonio smiled at him and Lovino came back to the present. No, he could not fall for him. It would hurt to much so much to lose him. And what if Antonio saw that what he thought he saw in Lovino, it wasn't really there? What he realized Lovino was just normal and boring? But what if Antonio disappeared without ever knowing the truth. Disappeared and Lovino told Antonio he loved him?

No. Lovino couldn't think like that. He had to believe that this was for the best. Because if it wasn't... Oh Dio, no.

Feliciano walked in and saw Roma and Antonio at the table. He looked relieved to see them there. Then he looked at Lovino.

"You're late, again."

"Well it's such a pleasant afternoon, I was enjoying the walk."

"But it's damn freezing today." Feli wouldn't stand for the cold. He always complained and tried to stay indoors.

"I like the cold," Feliciano countered.

"No, you don't." Lovino looked at Feliciano's empty hands. He had been at the market, "And where are the groceries, weren't you supposed to go to the market?" Feliciano had been acting so strangely lately and it was starting to make Lovino ill at ease.

"I meant to... but I... I got delayed."

"Delayed. Doing what?" Lovino could see Feliciano getting uncomfortable.

"Picking flowers." Lovino could see Feli was lying, but he hardly ever tried this hard.

"This is the third day in a row you've missed the market, I'm not stupid, I know something is up." Surely it wouldn't be hard to get the truth out of Feli, he never held up long under pressure.

Feli looked at him, sweet cute but his words surprised Lovino, "I see you're not wearing your ring." Lovino looked at Feli with suspicious eyes, that was playing dirty.

Lovi shut up and Feli's attention was drawn in by Grandpa and Antonio's conversation.

"It's the fourth bombing raids harming civilians in the last month. These raids are flying out of the nearby German base which is why the American's mission is of vital importance to us. It is obvious the Germans are moving on from their counterattacks against the British. Last night their Heinkels killed nearly one hundred non-military personnel." Nothing about this should have interested Feliciano but he listened like it held the meaning of the universe.

"Whats a Heinkel?" He asked loudly and urgently. For a moment no one spoke. Why the hell did sweet, removed, Feliciano care?

Grandpa looked uncertain but Antonio seemed to think it would be okay to explain. "It's a German plane, a bomber."

"So it's these Heinkels who bomb people, not the Mrs. Schmitt's?"

"The what?" Antonio said, voicing Lovino's question, "The Messerschmitts, is that what you mean?" Lovino didn't think so, but nothing else would make sense.

And then, words came from Feliciano's mouth that surely did not come from his brain, "Yes. The Messerschmitt's Bf 109." No one spoke.

"How the hell do you know what a Messerschmitt is, Feliciano?" There was something up. Without a doubt.

"I... um... I just overheard it somewhere."

"The Messerschmitts are fighter planes. Not bombers.They only attack other pilots."

"Not civilians?"

"No." Lovino was missing something. Feliciano looked extremely relieved, but no one else noticed. "However... it is entirely possible that the Messerschmitts are escorting the Heinkels, especially now that the British counter attacks have been slowing down."

"Hmm. That could be a problem for the Americans," Grandpa thought outloud.

"Yes, exactly," Antonio said, "That's definitely something we'll have to look into. Where did you hear people talking about Messerschmitts, Feliciano?

There was a long pause in which Feli's facial expressions changed from concerned to thinking to calm, "I was just wondering if they, the Germans, meant to kill civilians? Was that what they were trying to do? It could have been a mistake, couldn't it? I'm quite sure it was a mistake." Lovino looked at Feliciano. He wasn't grasping the idea of war.

"Does it matter," He didn't belong in this conversation. He needed to grow up, or leave.

"I just wondered."

"It seemed their target was a munitions factory. Of course they would have known civilian casualties would be inevitability." Antonio continued. Inevitable...

"But they didn't mean to? They didn't deliberately try to kill innocent people? Why would they... Why would they do that, it wouldn't make sense would it?"

"It made sense to them during the battle of Britain. Ever heard of 'terror bombing'? Ask Antonio about Guernica," Lovino said, all the passion and anger from when Antonio told him of his horrible experience with the bombing rising in Lovino's voice. All his own anger rose with it. How could anyone do something like that to innocent people. How could anyone do something like that to Antonio?

"I can't... I don't under..."

"We don't always know what the Germans..."

Grandpa cut him off, "That's enough.This type of talk usually upsets him."

"I just wanted to know..." Feliciano said sounding a bit angry and wounded.

"It's alright Feli. Don't upset yourself. You don't have to listen to this. In fact, I don't think it's a good idea that you do."

"No, I want to listen, I..."

"No." Grandpa's voice went from commanding to gentle in an instant, "Look, your tired, Feli. Did you take any pictures today?"

Feli looked concerned for a split second, then calmed himself, "A few."

"Why don't you go develop them, and then we'll listen to the radio before we make dinner?"

Feliciano left reluctantly.

"Is he all right?" Antonio said, with sincere concern that filled Lovino with jealousy, for a moment.

"It's the talk of casualties. It disturbs him."

"I understand, but I think you should ask him where he heard about the Messerschmitts, Roma. That kind of information is vital right now," Antonio explained.

"I'll ask him." Lovino was planning to anyways, so why bother having Grandpa ask him too.

"Thank you Lovino," Antonio said, smiling one of his beautiful smiles. Lovino blushed, looked away hurriedly and began to follow Feliciano out the door.

Lovino walked down the stairs into the cellar to find that Feliciano was already working on developing the photos he had taken, "Feliciano."

"Hello, Lovino," Feliciano said, still focused on the photos.

"All right. Tell me," Lovino demanded, tell me where you've been, tell me why you've missed the market, tell me where you got the chocolate.

"I'm sorry?" Feliciano asked, as if he didn't know.

"You're not yourself lately, missing the market, coming home late. Your sudden interest in Grandpa's conversation about the cause. There's something going on."

"I don't know what your talking about," Feliciano said the words indignantly, but Lovino could see his resolve shrinking.

Lovino walked closer he could see Feliciano's face, "Well maybe you could explain something to me. The chocolate you gave me from the other day."

"What about it?" Lovino could see Feliciano looked scared now. His hands shaking and his eyes avoiding Lovi's.

"I didn't give it much thought at the time, but it's strange isn't it? I mean there hasn't been any chocolate since the war started." Feliciano went rigid under Lovino's gaze and Lovino knew he was on to something.

"No, I... I..." Feliciano tried to speak. Then it hit Lovino, what if Feliciano was working for the Resistenza without Grandpa's knowledge. It would make sense, his getting home so late and his interest in the meeting. But it seemed so unlikely considering it was Feliciano who this was. But what else would he be doing?

"Where did you get it?" Lovino said his words full of the now deep suspicion he felt.

"Um, someone gave it to me and..." Lovino pulled out the wrapper from his pocket, the orange wrapper, with words written in German on it, "I found it."

"I thought someone gave it to you." Lovino said, his voice full of hatred for the lies that just kept coming.

"I forgot. I mean, I forget. I don't..." Lovino looked down. And then he saw the photographs in Feliciano's hands. A photograph of a soldier. A German soldier. And... Feliciano in his jacket? That was strange. Feliciano was working with the Resistenza. He was doing the same thing as Antonio, but Lovino wasn't allowed to even go on a real mission.

Lovino felt so betrayed. By Feliciano and by Roma. "I never... I never expected..." He couldn't comprehend how Feliciano was working for the Resistenza. "Is this a mission? A mission no one told me about?"

"No. It's not a mission," the words ran through Lovino's ears like a wakeup call from a nightmare. He wasn't being deceived by Roma. But then... Feliciano was genuinely making friends with a German. He was befriending the enemy and he clearly didn't understand.

"Do you see that coat?" Lovino was looking at Feliciano, with anger and betrayal. "Do you see the symbols on that coat you're wearing? Do you know what they stand for?" Lovino said, blocking Feliciano's exit.

"I didn't think about that, it's wasn't about that! I was just cold and Ludwig..."

"Ludwig?" Lovino was fighting to keep his voice even, his anger rising steadily.

"That's his name," Feliciano said it like it mattered. Like Lovino cared who the hell the man was.

"His name. The German soldier whom you have a photograph of... whose coat you're wearing."

"He's not a soldier, he's a pilot." Well that explained the sudden interest in the planes.

"Oh, I see. Well that makes sense now. But I really don't give a shit what section of the military he belongs to. He's a German, isn't he?"

"Yes," Feliciano closed his eyes in obvious surender.

"And you have a photograph of him because..."

"Because he's... he's my... friend," Lovino stared him. He was done. This was insanity. The cause, freedom, everything they risked their lives for, and Feliciano understood none of it?

"Feliciano, you complete idiot! What the hell are you thinking! Have you gone completely insane? What have you told him?" Oh my god, what if Feliciano had told the German about the Resistenza? What if someone was coming for them?

"No! It's not like that, I swear! He just... He's really nice, Lovino. Even though he looks scary, he's not. He's..."

"Have you completely lost your mind?" But Feliciano was still going on.

"... and we don't speak about the war, or about the cause, or any of it, I just like to be with him, and..."

"Oh God, Feliciano, stop, what the hell are you saying..." This was too much. Lovino couldn't bear to hear more of his stupid little brother's stupid ideas and ridiculous days spent with a German that he like and trusted.

"... And he's honorable and good and he likes being with me and I... I think I'm in love with him." Lovino stopped. He stopped trying to shut Feliciano up, because Feliciano was done talking. There was no way. This could not be happening. Feliciano, in love with this German pilot. The enemy. He stood dumbstruck for a few seconds, then sat in a chair near the wall.

"Feliciano, you complete idiot." Lovino thought of Feliciano too, how he wouldn't be able to handle the war. How he would never be able to come to terms with the fact that he could not ever be with this German. Never see him again. How heartbroken he would be when... Lovino was reading too far into this. He wasn't even thinking of Feliciano anymore. He was thinking of Antonio.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it." Feliciano seemed to be speaking to the part of lovi that wanted to give in and tell Antonio. But this wasn't even about that. This was about Feliciano and the god damn german.

"Oh, Feli." Lovino hid his head in his hands, "I knew you had been acting differently lately. I would have noticed earlier if I hadn't been..." That wasn't relevant, "How did you even meet him?"

"When I was walking into the village last week, and angry soldier tried to hit me, but Ludwig stopped him."

"Does he know you're Resistenza?" That was the most important thing.

"No, of course not!"

"Do you know what he would do to you if he did?" Lovino had to get all the facts. He needed to know everything. How dangerous a situation they were in.

"No. No, he would never hurt me. I know it, he..."

Lovino didn't trust a damn word, so he had to find out how much risk Feliciano was putting them in. By being naive and ill-informed, "Do you have any idea what Gestapo..."

"I told you, he's a pilot! He's not Gestapo, he's not like that!"

Lovino couldn't believe Feliciano really thought that mattered, "What do you think..."

"I don't know. I don't know, I didn't think of anything, I don't care, please stop asking me these questions, I don't have any answers, I just love him and want to be with him and that's all I know and, oh God, please don't tell Grandpa, he'll..."

Lovino got to his feet, "I don't think you realize how serious this is."

"Please, Lovino. Don't tell Grandpa." Feliciano's eyes pleaded with Lovino, begged for that small comfort.

"Of course I won't tell him. It would kill him." That much was true. It would break his heart to find out Feliciano was in love with a German, even if he needed to know. Lovino opened his mouth to say the last, prudent, condition of this discussion, "But you must never see this German again."

He knew it would destroy Feliciano, but someone had to be the voice of reason. Feliciano's face became overwhelmed in shock and panic, "No."

"I'm serious, Feli, This is not a game."

"You can't stop me. You can't stop me from seeing him," Feli said, his words were brave, but his voice was pleading with Lovino. Pleading for more time, more freedom, something he couldn't have. Something the war wouldn't allow. Something Lovi also desperately wanted. More time...

"Feliciano, you must have realized he wouldn't be stationed here forever." Lovi allowed the sympathy he felt to reach his voice. "You must have known this would end. I mean, what did you think was going to happen?"

"Please," Feliciano's eyes begged with Lovino. Begged for something he couldn't have. Because it put them all in danger. Put everything in danger. A small sympathetic voice in the back of Lovino's mind said, 'he's made it this far,' but Lovino didn't think that would last.

He was about to tell Feliciano no again, when Grandpa came into the room. "Come on boys, I thought we were going to listen to the radio before dinner!" Lovino nodded and began to walk toward the stairs. Grandpa looked at Feliciano and Lovino. "Is something wrong?"

"No. We were just coming now."

Dinner had been like any other. Antonio told stories about people and places and things he had seen, and Roma and Feli had made light conversation with him. But the mood was different. Feliciano was nervous, and he kept glancing at Lovino. Lovino was so angry, and he had made a point of glaring at Feliciano when he turned his way.

As soon as he finished eating, Lovino stood and left for the garden. He sat down with his back up against the wall. What was he going to do about Feliciano? He had promised not to tell Grandpa, and he meant it. Grandpa wouldn't take this well at all, But he couldn't let Feliciano go out to see this German and risk their safety.

Lovino's thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Antonio walked out and stood next to him. "May I sit down?"

Lovino thought for a moment. Would Antonio make this better or worse? After a moment he decided better. Antonio made everything better. He nodded.

"Lovino, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." Maybe having Antonio here wasn't such a good idea.

"No, I can see you are fine, but Feli seems to have a problem and you seem upset," Antonio explained. Why couldn't Lovino ignore Feli's problem? Why did Antonio have to want to know? Why did there have to be this stupid war making everything harder?

"It's a long story," Lovino said. But then he realized it wasn't. Felciano was in love with a German. There was very little else to be said.

"I have all night, Lovino. Please tell me."

Antonio sounded so concerned and interested. And Lovino needed to tell someone. He had none better to tell something to that Antonio, "Feliciano is in love."

Antonio looked surprised. He opened his mouth, then closed it. And he opened it again. "Why is that a problem?"

"It's not a matter of that he is in love, it's who he's in love with. He's in love with a German." Lovino waited for Antonio to become as angry as he had. Waited for him to yell. He didn't. He looked confused.

"Feliciano is in love with a German soldier?"

"Yes! And it's a problem."

"Lovino, what are you going to do about it?" Antonio sounded tired.

"I don't know! I can't just let him go off and tell this German about our family and our life! What if he told him about the Resistenza!"

"Lovino, he wouldn't do that. Your brother may be less interested in the war and the cause that you are, but he understands it is dangerous."

"Than why is he running off to be with a German soldier who is fighting against us! I can't let him do that!"

"Lovino, do you really think you could stop him?" Antonio had turned his head to face Lovino, and his eyes were so fierce and intense.