Dear My New Friends,

If you are reading this letter, that means that I suddenly vanished, and you are wondering where on Earth I went. Well, this letter will explain just were I went. It will explain some facts about myself that I have kept secret from all of you. I promise, my leaving was out of my control, just as arriving here and injecting myself into all of your lives was not my doing. The truth of it is, when I arrived, I told you that I had traveled across the whole of the United Stated and the Atlantic Ocean, but I was lying. While I am from Washington state in the United States, I did not travel. I appeared at Downton Abbey, and I am still not sure how I did so. The shocking truth is... I am from a different time. I am from the year 2017, almost 100 years from now. Also, this world is a fictional one to me, one of characters who are made up, like in a novel. I know this sounds crazy, but...

Mandy took the paper out of the typewriter, crumpled it, and threw it in the waste basket near her desk with other attempts at writing the letter that she would leave near her bedside every night just in case she left during the night. With what had happening in the past while, people needed to know who she really was and where she was really from. She jut couldn't get the wording right!

"I can't just say it straight out like that," Mandy mumbled. "I need to set the scene a bit more. Gosh... this is why I failed English class..."

Maybe she needed to be straight forward, though. That would be the best. No matter what, people would think that she was crazy. It just had to be said, along with apologies for all the hurt she caused.

She sighed in frustration. "How am I going to write this?!"

"Write what?" someone asked, and Mandy popped her head up to see Mrs. Crawley standing in the doorway to the office, wearing a white blouse and gray skirt.

"Um," Mandy began, thinking rapidly of an excuse. "I just was wondering how to start this letter I wanted to write to Anna. You know, one of the maids at Downton."

Mrs. Crawley sat down in the wooden chair in front of Mandy's desk. "Are you two close?"

Mandy smiled. "Yes, we became fast friends at Downton. I tell her everything and she gives me advice, whether it's something I want to hear or not."

"So she's honest?"

"Yes, brutally honest. But she's really nice about it. I know it's for my own good." And the good of other people who are affected by my actions.

"I see. We all need friends like that. I wish Cousin Violet and I could have the same relationship."

Mandy's heart went out to her. She knew their current relationship had bumps, and knew how close they become in the later seasons, kind of like sisters. "I think you'll eventually have that relationship, being close friends and inseparable."

"I really hope so. We all need that type of friend that is honest with us, and is there for us. Now, back to the reason I came. I already know your answer, but I thought I would ask anyway."

Mandy sat up straight in her seat, interested. "Answer to what?"

"Well—I spoke with Lady Grantham earlier today when I went to visit Downton, and she wanted to know if you would like to come over for luncheon tomorrow, just as an apology for the dinner two nights ago. She feels terribly because you were mistreated in such a way, especially by Cousin Violet and Lady Mary."

Mandy pursed her lips together, thinking about what Mary said, what happened with Matthew in the kitchen that night, and Thomas's proposal that she did not accept. Would she be able to face all that again? Thomas would be there, and maybe Matthew. She hadn't even seen Matthew since the kitchen kiss and proposal.

"I know, you don't seem thrilled about the idea," said Mrs. Crawley, reading her expression. "But like I said, I wanted to tell you first, and then have you decide."

Mandy fiddled with her ink pen that was void of any ink, and the ink bottle sat there on the desk. "Um... I don't know. I mean, I appreciate the invitation, and I know Lady Grantham means well, but..."

"I thought as much. You do not have to go. Lady Grantham will definitely understand."

Mandy did not want to cause any more trouble or contention with the family or anyone else. If she went to this luncheon, something horrible would happen again. Thomas would undoubtedly serve her, and if Matthew was there, she would be forced to choose between them. She suddenly felt her eyes sting, and her chin quivered.

"Oh, my dear," Mrs. Crawley said, leaning forward with concern in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

She took a shaky breath, trying to calm herself. "Mrs. Crawley... I don't know what to do..."

A sob escaped her and Mrs. Crawley came around and put a warm, motherly hand on her shoulder, but it didn't bring much comfort. "Mandy, I am so sorry. I knew bringing you to the dinner the other night was not a good idea. I blame myself for pushing you."

Mandy sniffed and shook her head. "No, it's not your fault. I caused a lot contention within the family."

"It's not your fault, either. Matthew wasn't being careful, and that resulted in the contention with Mary and everyone else. You just became the victim of it all."

"I am at fault, though, since I accepted the hairpin from Matthew, and I..." Should Mandy reveal the truth about Matthew to his mother? "Um... there's something you need to know about Matthew. He didn't just buy me that hairpin."

"Oh? What are you talking about?"

"Matthew, he... well, he proposed to me the night of the dinner."

She felt Mrs. Crawley's hand leave her shoulder, and she gasped. "Good Lord in Heaven! Proposed? At the dinner?"

"No, afterwards. Around midnight, we both couldn't sleep—he found me in the kitchen, thinking I was you. We talked a bit and... well, things happened, and he proposed to me."

Mrs. Crawley became silent for a moment, and Mandy looked up to see the the surprised expression on her face. "Goodness... he really was in love with you, enough to propose. What did you tell him?"

"I didn't know what to say. He just told me to give him an answer later rather than sooner so I'm sure about it."

"Do you have an idea about what you want to say?"

Mandy fiddled with her pen a bit more, still feeling the tears in her eyes, and thinking that she really had no choice but to give Matthew an answer. "I... I don't know."

"Do you love him?"

She nodded. "I do. I mean, I love being around him, and talking to him, but..."

"But?"

Thomas's handsome face flashed in her mind's eye. Someone from the upstairs should know about Thomas. "But there's someone else."

Mrs. Crawley's put a hand to her heart and asked Mandy incredulously, "Mandy, are you saying that you love both my son and another man at the same time?"

She let out a breath, trying to calm her emotions. "Yes. I know it sounds horrible, but it's true. I'm in love with two men, and can't choose between them. I know I have to, though. I already hurt the other man by refusing his proposal."

Mrs. Crawley went and took the chair in front of the desk and set it close to Mandy. She sat down and faced her. "And why did you refuse the other man?"

"Because, well... because of Matthew. It wouldn't be fair if I accepted him while I still had feelings for another man."

"But did you want to accept him? The other man?"

Mandy thought about that for a moment. Yes, she did. More than anything, but she couldn't, not when Matthew was in the picture. She set down the pen and bit her bottom lip. "Yes, I did, but... I wanted to accept Matthew's proposal, but couldn't because of the other man."

Mrs. Crawley leaned back in her seat. "My, Mandy, you are in quite a predicament."

"I know. I think this is one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. Maybe I should just leave and not do anything."

"That will not do you any good, I can tell you that. Leaving just to get away from your problems doesn't take those problems away." Mandy nodded, knowing she was right. "Who is this other man, if you don't mind my asking?"

"He's one of the footman at Downton."

Mrs. Crawley's eyes widened. "One of the footman? Do you mean William?"

"No... although William is such a nice and decent young man. It's... Thomas."

"Thomas? Do you mean the dark-haired footman that looks as if he's always in a mood and above everyone else?"

"Yes, but he's not like that anymore." She let out a shaky breath, and she felt more tears come. She saw the image of Thomas's tear-stained face in his mind's eye. "Gosh... I broke his heart. He changed so much because of me. He loves me, and I lied to him. I lied about Matthew and the hairpin, I broke a promise I made to him about moving out of Crawley House as soon as I got a job, and I said no to his proposal, even after he told me he couldn't be happy without me and I knew it."

Tears fell, and Mrs. Crawley covered Mandy's hand on the desk and squeezed it warmly. "It sounds to me that you really care about him."

She nodded. "I do. I love him. "It tears me apart knowing that I hurt him like that."

"Then why did you say no to him, if you love him so and do not want him to be hurting?"

"Well, like I said—because of Matthew."

Mrs. Crawley huffed through her nose and gave Mandy a serious look. Mandy met her grey-blue eyes. "You know what I think, Mandy? I think you may have a deeper connection with Thomas than you do with Matthew. You seem far more hurt when speaking of Thomas and the things that has happened between the two of you, and you know exactly how he feels. With Matthew, I think you just enjoyed being with him and receiving attention, and mistook that for love."

Mandy stared at her, taking all that in. No way. Not really love Matthew? Just enjoyed being around him and taking in his affection? She recalled how she loved kissing him and him holding her to him just because it made her emotions run wild. Was that it? She just enjoyed receiving his love?

"So..." Mandy began, "I loved Thomas all along and not really loved Matthew?"

"I think you loved Matthew, but maybe it was just a wild infatuation, or a crush. I mean, I am not completely sure because I wasn't there with the two of you every time you were together, and I don't know your heart like you do, but... if all this hurt is a result of you wanting to accept Thomas but did not, then... yes. I think you loved Thomas all along."

Mandy didn't know what to say at this startling revelation. She remained silent, staring at the door. She heard Mrs. Crawley say, "So, I will tell Lady Grantham that you will not be coming to luncheon tomorrow."

Mandy's heart pounded, her thoughts whirling. She gripped the pen as her determination to set things straight overcame her. "No. Tell her I'll be there."