I'm so happy that this story has gotten so many views so far! I know things have been seeming pretty dismal lately, and the contention has been high, but hang in there! Things will lighten up later, I promise.

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Usually, soaking in a hot bath calms ones nerves and muscles, and can set your mind at ease... but Mandy still felt the tension everywhere as she soaked in the hot water, and the memories of the evening whirled through her head like an angry fish, giving her a horrible headache. Giving up that a hot bath would solve her problems and ease her mind, she got out, changed into a white nightgown, and climbed into bed. She was emotionally drained. After an hour, she lay there in bed in the darkness of her room, staring at the ceiling. Sleep was lost to her. Of course, after a night like she had, how would anyone be able to sleep?

Mandy sat up and stared at the closed door. "I'm not going to sleep any time soon, so I might as well do something to keep myself occupied." She put on her lavender robe over her night gown and went downstairs, tiptoeing so she wouldn't wake anyone up. She went into the kitchen and turned on the lamp near the door. "I think I'll make myself some lemon tea. Maybe that will ease my mind a little."

She put a kettle of water on the old stove and started it up. Her long curly orange hair down, she leaned against the island counter in the center of the kitchen, one that had a few bowls and cutting boards on it. She stared at the heat kettle as she recalled the night's events again. "What do I do now?" she muttered. "I only told Thomas half of the truth. What will he think when I tell him that I'm from a different time and reality? He'll think he fell in love with a crazy person!"

The kettle started to steam, and she took it off the heat. She got a cup and poured the hot water in it, and found a lemon to cut up. She did so, and popped the lemon slice in the water and added a dash of sugar that was in a little jar on the counter near the pantry cupboard. She leaned against the island again, staring at the assortment of jars of flour, sugar, and other baking ingredients on the counter across the way from her.

"Thomas deserves to know the truth." She took a sip of the tea, and even though it was sweetened, it still tasted bitter. "I hurt him... he deserves to know where I'm from. Maybe I should just write a letter detailing everything, and when I leave, he can read it and realize that it was a good thing that I rejected him."

Mandy suddenly heard footsteps on the stairs out near the entryway, and her heart jumped. Who was that? Mrs. Crawley? She set her cup down on the counter behind her and waited anxiously to see if the person would enter the kitchen. She heard the footsteps dissipate a bit, like the person went into the family room, but then they came back into the entryway and down the hall towards the kitchen. Mandy wanted to kick herself—she hoped that she wouldn't wake anyone up, but she did.

The kitchen door opened and in came Matthew. His hair was uncombed, and he wore a navy-blue robe with light-blue pajamas underneath. His blue eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, Mandy. I though it was my my mother who came downstairs."

"No, just me. I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither. Not a wink." He eyed the cup of tea on the counter behind her. "Would you mind if I had a cup as well?"

"No, go ahead. It's your house—you shouldn't have to ask."

He got a cup from the china cupboard on the other side of the room where she got hers, and went to the kettle and poured himself some water. Mandy couldn't help but stare at him as he did so, and he took one of the slices of lemon and put it in his cup. He poured a bit of sugar in it and swirled it around with a spoon. He leaned against the counter across from her, and she still stared, slightly stunned. How could any man—any person—look so good after just getting out of bed?

They stood there for a moment, and Mandy tried to dismiss the way her heart danced inside of her. She recalled that he was one of the reasons why she rejected Thomas.

His gaze met hers and asked in a gentle tone, "Are you alright, Mandy? After tonight..."

"I'll be alright." She hoped.

The clock hanging on the wall near the window ticked a few times. "I'm so terribly sorry about tonight."

"It was expected. I knew going to that dinner would result in bad things happening."

He continued to stir around the spoon in his tea. He stopped, put the spoon on the counter behind him, and took a sip. "You shouldn't have been treated like that. You never should have been treated in the way you have been since you arrived here."

Mandy nodded, and emotion gripped her throat. "I guess... but it couldn't be helped. I injected myself into everyone's lives, and the outcome was way less then desirable." She took a breath, trying to not let any tears come. "The Dowager was right at dinner... and Mrs. O'Brien was right when she said that I did something wrong by coming here. I shouldn't have come to Downton. When I arrived, I should've just turned the other way and stayed somewhere else... got a job somewhere else. I and everyone else would've been better off if I just did that."

Matthew put his cup on the counter and took a step towards Mandy, who allowed those rising tears to develop. "Mandy, don't think like that. You are a wonderful, intelligent young woman who has accomplished so much. Most of the people you have met here adore you, and everyone else... well, they are all just jealous of you."

"And that caused them to hate me."

"No one hates you."

"Mary does. She thought that..." She shut her mouth. She didn't need to tell him why Mary hates her. "Nevermind. Matthew... do you still love her—Mary?"

He sighed leaned back against the counter, folding his arms. "Not really anymore. The memory of those feelings are still there, but the actual feelings are now close to non-existent."

Mandy nodded, not really surprised, considering his feelings for her. She knew she ruined their relationship, and chances that they had. If Mary were to tell Matthew why she hated Mandy, it wouldn't really do anything. Would it?

Mandy looked down and fiddled with the tie on her robe as she and Matthew stood there in a steady silence, apart from the clock ticking on.

"It will all be alright, Mandy," she heard him say, splitting the silence. "This will all pass."

"I hope so." She looked up at him, and she was taken aback at how good-looking he was in the low light illuminating from the one lamp in the room. "Will you still inherit Downton after this? I mean, you were target at dinner as well, and... I guess it's the hard truth that the Dowager was right about you as well."

"Yes, she was, I regret to say, but... I'm pretty sure I will inherit Downton, even if I don't marry Mary. The estate will be in my name since I am technically a member of the family, but through blood, not marriage."

Mandy nodded, but thought back to when he heard him and his mother talking when she first arrived at Crawley House. "But... I thought you were scared of losing Downton because of what happened with the hairpin, and... everything that happened because of it."

"Yes, I was, but... I guess I was overreacting." His brow creased. "But how did you know?"

She swallowed. This needed to be out in the open now. "Um... I have this nasty habit of eavesdropping, as you may have gathered by me stopping to listen by the library when you told the family that you bought me that hairpin. Back when I came to Crawley house for the first time, I heard you and your mother talking. I stood next to the door after you left the room and... I heard what you said."

His mouth opened in surprise as he remembered that. "You heard all that?

"Yes." She pursed her lips together, still fiddling with the tie on her robe, the lemon tea forgotten. "Matthew... you really didn't want me here, did you?"

Matthew said nothing. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she had to hold back a sob as the emotion and hurt of the passed few weeks caught up to her, and she couldn't hold it back.

"Mandy," Matthew said, alarmed.

She walked a few steps away, her back to him. She heard him take a few steps to her and she felt his presence as he stood behind her.

"You never did," she choked out, her chest hurting and head throbbing, "and neither did anyone else. I'm a nuisance—causing so much trouble and chaos, and ruining people's lives. I should just go home now and spare everyone more hurt. Gosh, I want to go home..."

Hot tears spilled from her eyes, and her body started shaking with her sobs. She felt herself being turned and pulled into an embrace, and she immediately felt his heat and smelled his sweet cologne.

"Mandy..." he said softly as he held her to his chest, "I wanted you here. I said those things because I desperately wanted you here, but knew things would be at stake if you were. I knew that, but it was still futile because I had already fallen in love with you and had told you so already. I didn't want to cause anyone or myself more trouble by allowing the woman I fell in love with to stay at the same house as me."

She knew that, but why did it have to hurt so much? She wanted to pain to stop.

His arms held her tighter as she still shook from her emotions. She felt his hand go through her curls as he held her head to him and she could hear his heart beating in his chest. She gripped his soft robe material. She felt herself calming down with every one of his strong heart beats.

"It'll be alright," he whispered near her ear.

She nodded and he loosened his hold on her. She opened her eyes and saw his chest where the top of his pajamas were unbuttoned. Her gaze traveled up until it met his. Her heart pounded as they held that gaze for a moment. Her grip on his robe tightened as he leaned down a little and pressed his lips on hers. She took it in, dazed and disoriented. She moved her mouth in response, and he in turn held her against him and deepened the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she felt his hot mouth run with hers passionately.

Kissing Matthew Crawley like this, feeling every inch of his mouth and enjoy his arms wrapping around her body, was something that she dreamed about since she started watching the show after she developed a massive crush on him. She never imagined that it would happen for real, and that she would love him for real.

The kissing slowed to a stop. He held her there, and his hands slid down to her waist. Her body tingled when she felt them there. "Mandy..." he breathed, their foreheads touching. He sighed. "Oh, dear God..."

Mandy felt the hairs on the back of his neck and his hot breath hit her face. She couldn't will herself to speak.

"I love you," he said, and looked back at her, their gazes locked. "I don't think I can love any other woman more than I love you now."

Her heart swelled as it pounded, pumping heat into her cheeks. She found herself saying, "I love you, too, Matthew. I always have, even before we met. I heard about you and... I just couldn't help it."

He let off a smile. He put a hot hand on her cheek. "Then Mandy... will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Her eyes widened, and alarm suddenly pulsed through her. She stood out of his hold, not expecting the sudden proposal. "You're... wife? But... what about the estate? And marrying someone of class? And after everything that has happened?"

"I don't care about that, at least not anymore. People can think what they want. All I care about and want right now is you. Since I met you, I was tortured with the thought of you every moment of every day, and found myself desperate to be in your presence, and when I was, I felt the happiest I could ever imagine, regardless of the chaos that was ensuing around us."

Mandy didn't know what to say to this, her second proposal from a Downton Abbey character. She told Thomas no, and she should do that to Matthew also for the same reasons... right? "I'm... I don't know what to say..."

His took a step to her and brought a warm hand up to her cheek. His thumb caressed it, his look bone-melting. "Then don't say anything. I'd rather you give me the right answer later than a wrong one right away."

She nodded, not knowing what else to say. He brought her again into his arms and held her head to his shoulder. How could she let everything get this far? How could she allow herself to fall in love with two men, landing her in a sticky situation where both propose marriage to her?

She thought of Thomas. If he knew this happened, he would be torn, but not surprised. What if she turned around and accepted him, regardless of where she was from? Then Matthew would be hurt. Like Anna said, at least one man would be hurt in this situation no matter what... but which man would it be? She had to make a decision. Soon.