《I Need To Exchange My Demon, Please》Chapter 4: A New Approach

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"You're a fucking idiot," Nex said, shaking his head. Marcus growled at him but Nex ignored it.

"Let me make sure I understand this," Arda said, steepling her fingers and leaning forward. "She took off her clothes."

"Yes," Marcus nodded.

"And invited you into the shower," Arda continued.

"I don't know I'd say 'invited', exactly..."

"She invited you into the shower," Nex repeated.

Marcus sighed and nodded. "Sort of."

"And you just... You left," Arda said, nodding slowly. "Are you practicing celibacy now?"

"She caught me off-guard, who takes off their clothes around a paranormal being they don't even know??" Marcus asked. "That's demon behavior, not human behavior."

"I don't understand why you're here and not fucking this girl in her shower," Arda frowned. "Is she that unattractive?"

"No, he's just an idiot," Nex shrugged.

"You haven't even seen her," Marcus snapped.

"Is she unattractive?" Nex asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because I remember you stating the first day that an annoying but sexy woman summoned you to kill her."

"So she's attractive," Arda nodded.

"Yes, she's attractive," Marcus admitted, glaring at Nex.

"Then what the fuck are you sitting here with us for??" Nex said, throwing his arms up.

"I always thought Lucian was the shy one among you three," Arda frowned, glancing between Nex and Marcus. "I really didn't think you were, Marcus."

"I'm not," Marcus growled. "I just... I didn't know what the fuck to do. She's insane."

"Insane is a strong word to use on someone you barely know," Kat said, setting down a cup of cocoa in front of Arda.

"Thank you, Katherine," Arda beamed, cupping her hands around the cocoa.

"You can get that anywhere, I don't know why you always come here," Nex grumbled.

"No one makes it like Katherine does," Arda shrugged.

"Can we focus on my human pest problem?" Marcus sighed.

"The way I see it, you're making it needlessly complicated," Arda said, sipping on her cocoa. "Humans have a lot of hate in their heart. Go to her, spend some time around her, find out things that matter to her and I guarantee a loathing of someone will come up. Then just gently hint her in that direction, get her riled up talking about them and possibly drunk, she'll change her mind and send you after someone else."

"That's awfully manipulative," Kat frowned.

"We're demons, love, it's what we do," Arda shrugged. "Getting her drunk will help."

"It's true, humans make rash decisions when drunk," Nex agreed.

"Says a human," Arda said, giving Nex a side-glance.

Nex frowned, momentarily forgetting he was human. He crossed his arms and slunk back in his seat, glaring at Arda. "I meant humans who have never been anything else."

"Uh huh," Arda said doubtfully. "Honestly, Marcus, this isn't that complicated, it just takes a little bit of manipulation. Have you completely forgotten what it's like to be a real demon?"

"He never behaved like a real demon," Nex pointed out.

"He did in another life," Arda muttered.

Marcus bristled, letting out a low growl that had the entire table stiffening. Nex sent Arda a dirty look and smacked her arm. Arda smiled apologetically. "Sorry."

"Marcus, don't listen to Arda," Kat said, giving Arda a disapproving frown that had her regretting her words. "You don't have to do it that way, let's just try to help her."

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"No, she's right," Marcus said, standing and walking to the kitchen. "I'm a demon, after all, I might as well act like it."

"Dammit Arda," Katherine hissed.

"Oh," Nex said, raising an eyebrow. He couldn't explain why, but there was just something about Katherine reaching the point to cursing that left him needing to be alone with her and seeing what other fires he could get going. "Arda, leave."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Arda sighed, rising from her chair.

"I'm taking this," Marcus said, pulling two bottles of whiskey.

"What? No," Nex frowned. "Those are mine."

"I don't want to go to a human store, I'll pay you back," Marcus said simply before letting out his wings and taking to the air, flying through their ceiling and away before Nex could protest more.

Keeping himself hidden from other humans, he flew to Mila's apartment, dropping down from the sky and straight into her living room with a loud thud. He glanced around, catching onto her scent and following it to the bathroom, frowning when he saw her sitting on the edge of the bathtub, feet in bloody water.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

Mila screamed and jumped, nearly sliding into the tub but Marcus grabbed her arm and kept her from falling. Once her heart restarted, Mila glared at him, yanking her arm free of his grip. "Dude, have you ever heard of knocking? Can't you announce your presence before you're just suddenly here?"

"I told you I'd make your life a living hell," he said, his eyes darting to her heels that were bleeding. "What did you do to your feet?"

"It's called work," Mila said, dipping her feet back into the water, cleaning the wounds out as best she could.

"What kind of job do you have that you come home with bleeding feet?"

"It's a new secondary job, and it's not a normal thing," she said, rolling her eyes. "It requires me to be on my feet constantly. I made a mistake in my shoe choice the first few days and I paid for it, now it just keeps reopening because it doesn't have time to heal."

"Seems like an unethical workspace," Marcus frowned.

"Ha, welcome to working at all," Mila shrugged, pulling her feet out and dabbing them with a dry towel. "Don't you work in hell? Talk about unethical workspace."

"I don't do unethical things, I torture evil souls," Marcus said, crossing his arms.

"But aren't you like a demon of death?" She asked.

"Well, yes..."

"So you kill people," she nodded.

"Occasionally," Marcus shrugged.

"That doesn't count as unethical?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not when they're evil," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, hey, I'm evil," she said, opening her arms with a big smile. "Kill me."

"You're not evil, nice try," he said.

"Dude, what do you have to do to be evil?" Mila sighed. "I summoned two demons," she said, holding a finger up and adding a finger for each additional point. "I steal regularly, I-"

"You steal?" Marcus frowned. That should've been something to push her at least partially to the evil side but when he looked at her hands, he surprisingly only saw purity despite the way she behaved.

"Yes, see?" She said, putting her hands together in a plea. "That's enough, right? It's like against one of the ten commandments. That makes me evil and killable, right?"

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"It should, and yet, it doesn't," he said, furrowing his brows. "Try stealing more."

"Is this about that dumbass palm reading thing you did?" She sighed.

"It's not palm reading," Marcus growled.

"Then what is it?" She frowned.

"It's just... I look at your hands and I can see your soul, all right?" He explained. "It's complicated. It's not something humans can pick up on."

"Right," she nodded slowly. "So you... Read my soul... From my palm... Like a palm reader."

"Fine, it's fucking palm reading," Marcus sighed in annoyance. "And it says I can't kill you because you're pure."

"Pure?" Mila laughed. "In what universe?"

"The fuck if I know, I never would've guessed," he said, gesturing to her. "You tell me."

"If I knew, I'd remedy the situation," she said honestly. "What are you doing here, anyway? Trying a new technique to change my mind?"

"No, I came to drink with you," Marcus said, holding up the bottles of whiskey.

"Oh," she said, raising her eyebrows in surprise. "Cool. At least you're not completely useless."

Marcus sighed and opened one of the bottles, taking a drink before offering it to her. Mila looked at him suspiciously but took the bottle, taking a long drink before handing it back to him. "I suppose it's too much to hope this is poisoned?"

"Yes, unfortunately for both of us," he said, snatching the bottle.

"Damn," she sighed, grabbing the bandages off the counter and applying them to her heels. "What do demons eat, anyway?"

"Eat?" Marcus frowned.

"Yeah, don't you eat?" She asked. "Or is it like you just eat human flesh?"

"What?" Marcus said, his face twisting in horror. "No. Of course not. I'm not a pishacha."

"A what?" Mila asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Flesh-eating demon."

"I never read about those," she frowned.

"Humans know a lot and yet very little about the underworld."

"Do you have any pishacha friends that would come see me?" She asked, her eyes lighting up. "I bet I'm tasty."

Marcus sighed and stared at her for a minute, wondering what could possibly push a human to death so much that they could discuss it so casually without seeming bothered in the slightest. "No, I don't associate with them. They work in a different area."

"You mean like a different department?" Mila giggled. "I had no idea hell was run like an office. Though now I think about it..." she said, tapping her chin. "Yeah, no, that actually checks out. I can't think of anything more hellish than an office job. Do they also drag you to pointless meetings that could've been summed up in an email?"

"I thought you worked on your feet all day," he said. "What do you know about an office job?"

"That's my secondary job, not my main job," she said, rolling her eyes and standing. "Anyways, what do you eat then? Do you like Chinese food?"

"Yes," he frowned. "Why?"

"Drinking makes me so hungry it's almost inhumane," she explained, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she walked out of the bathroom. "So if we're drinking, I need food."

Marcus sighed and followed her out into the living room, watching her curiously as she ordered food on her phone then sat on her damaged couch, crossing her legs overtop each other and tucking her feet under her knees. She didn't even seem bothered by the stuffing sticking out of the couch cushions and hadn't bothered to clean up much of the mess he found there the first day. The cabinets were still broken, splintered pieces still on the floor, just swept to the side. The only thing really repaired was the blinds on her windows and even those weren't, she just covered the windows with blankets. He could not begin to figure this human out but Arda's advice seemed like his best bet.

"So," he said, clearing his throat and taking a seat on the uncomfortable couch, adjusting when he felt a spring poke him in the ass. He sighed and adjusted, moving further from it and closer to Mila, setting the bottles of whiskey down on the couch since the coffee table was only standing on two legs and was more a ramp than anything else. "What's your main job?"

"Ugh, small talk," she said, fake-gagging. "Yeah, you definitely torture people for a living."

Marcus sighed and rested his palms on his knees. "It's not like I have anything better to do," he pointed out. "I'm stuck here because of you."

"I would say I'm sorry but there's an easy way out of it, so," she shrugged.

"It's not easy," Marcus said, narrowing his eyes. "I told you, I'll get in trouble for hurting someone pure."

"But you did like two months ago, didn't you? Isn't that what you and Lilith were talking about?"

"Well, yes," Marcus frowned.

"So why do you care all the sudden?" She shrugged, grabbing one of the bottles and taking a swig.

"I misread the situation and it won't be happening again," he said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Besides, even if I didn't care, I still get punished for interfering with souls that aren't evil."

"You're a demon, you can handle it," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Fucking hell," Marcus muttered, grabbing the bottle from her hands and taking a long drink.

"Where'd you get these anyway?" Mila asked, picking up the other bottle, turning it around in her hands. "Do they sell booze in the underworld?"

"Sell, no," Marcus said, handing her the open bottle. "Things are different in hell. I got these from a friend."

"A friend?" Mila repeated, raising an eyebrow. "What, like a human friend?"

"Yes."

"How the hell did you make human friends?" She asked curiously.

"He used to be a demon, it's a long story."

Mila looked at him expectantly and he sighed, hoping that if he talked, maybe she would too and he could narrow down a soul she hated. He spent the next few hours relaying the story about Nex and Kat, only stopping when food arrived and when Mila interrupted to ask questions. By the time he was done, she had tears in her eyes and he frowned in confusion.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"It's so beautiful," she sobbed, dropping her head on the couch. "They love each other so much, what is that? No one loves like that anymore."

"Uh..." Marcus frowned, patting her back awkwardly, unsure what to say. "It's fine. They're happy."

"I want a love like that," she sniffled.

"Fucking hell, you're one of those people that gets emotional when they drink, aren't you?" He sighed.

"Not usually but I can't help it today," she sniffled, wiping at her eyes and grabbing the second bottle of whiskey. They'd already made it through the first one and the second was getting low. Mila was very wasted, which made it an opportune time to get information out of her.

"Well, what about you?" Marcus asked. "You got an ex or something that ruined your idea of love?"

"Please, he don't have that much power," she scoffed, waving her hand dismissively, her eyes sliding shut.

"I bet he was a real asshole," Marcus tried.

"Aren't they all?" She shrugged, unsteadily standing then falling back down against the couch. "Shit, get me to bed," she yawned, laying her head in his lap. "Come on, you're not going to kill me, you can at least do this."

"I..." Marcus stared down at her, watching her cuddle against his lap helplessly. He'd never been around a more affectionate human and he didn't know what to do with it. Demons didn't cuddle.

"Marcus," Mila whined. "I'm sleepy. Take me to bed and leave a snack on the nightstand."

"I'm not a fucking servant," Marcus grumbled, rising from the couch and holding out his hands. "Come on, you can walk there yourself."

"Are you sure?" She asked, placing her hands in his and letting him pull her up but then falling right into his chest. "Mmm... Looks like a no."

Marcus had half a mind to just let her fall to the ground, but even as he thought it, he couldn't do it. There was something sweet about the way she cried over his friends without even knowing them. Begrudgingly, he wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her into the bedroom. The room was dark and cluttered but the thing that stood out to him were the high number of pillows on her bed. Wondering why she needed so many, he got her over to the bed, letting her plop down on it less gently than he could've. She didn't seem to mind, just haphazardly pulled the blankets over her.

Marcus frowned as he watched her kick her feet under the blankets that were all twisted up. They weren't even fully covering her, just covering parts of her. The uncovered parts, she tossed pillows over. In one of the corners of her bed, the fitted sheet was untucked and she was halfway laying on just straight mattress.

"Are you... Comfortable like this?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Mhm, why not?" She mumbled, snuggling into her bed.

"No reason," he said, furrowing his brows. He couldn't imagine it being comfortable and had never seen a human sleep so disheveled.

Mila let out a yawn that ended with a small squeak, something that tugged Marcus's lips upward. She repeatedly pushed her hair back but it continued to fall in her face and eventually she gave up, just kept blowing at the loose strands only for them to fall back in her face. Everything about her was unorganized and Marcus found it surprisingly intriguing.

"Mila," Marcus said, brushing her hair back until it stopped falling her face. "Why are you so determined to die?"

"I have to," she mumbled, cuddling her pillow against her chest, not opening her eyes.

"Why?"

"For Stella," she slurred.

"Who's Stella?" He frowned, but she was already snoring, leaving him wondering who the hell had her convinced she needed to die.

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