I yipped and allowed my wolf more control as she ran from the others. The other wolves gave chase and I felt happiness grow inside of me. They may not have been shifters but the wild wolf pack was still a part of the pack and the family. I liked spending time with them. It helped me forget about everything. There was nothing like running in my wolf. After years of her being forcefully contained within me, she couldn't get enough of running around the small territory that Uncle Jace had claimed.

I felt someone nip my tail playfully and I could sense Davin among the group. I whirled around and jumped at him in playful excitement. He let me jump on his back and bite the scruff of his neck in a mock fight. I was no fighter or warrior but he pretended I could beat him to make me happy. His wolf let out a playful whine as it flopped onto its side in movk defeat.

Two years was a long time and a lot had happened during it. I had finally broken through the toughest of my Mantras and once they had been broken, the easier it had been to break through the rest. There were still many I had to work around but they were easy enough to bypass or even ignore. That voice still screamed as me and there were moments when I feared punishment for breaking a Mantra but the reinforcement of the punishment never coming made it easier to deal with the episodes.

Amber and I had discovered I had triggers for my panic and anxiety and on the rare occasions, shock, that Amber had attributed to accute stress disorder. It was similar to post traumatic stress disorder but it only emerged when I experienced a trigger.

Blood was a very big trigger for me.

The very first time it happened I walked in on the hospital and Seamus was there, he had been attacked by a cougar. He had been torn up fairly badly but the blood is what had stopped me in my tracks. The red liquid seeping from his wounds had made me instantly freeze and I wasn't in the hospital anymore. I was back in the classroom looking down at the drain at the floor watching my blood spiral down it. The coppery smell of it was overly cloying and chocking as it dripped off of my toes. The red lines drawing startling lines onto my white skin.

It had taken Amber, Uncle Jace, and Davin six hours to bring me back from the memory. Six hours of my brain short circuiting and freezing. It wasn't as bad now as it had been before but I still froze and the world disappeared around me. I was usually fine if someone broke my gaze or talked me down but it was still an exhausting process that made my emotions chaotic for hours afterwards.

Even after two years I still flinched sometimes at quick movements and I still had troubles with keeping my feelings to myself. I still had troubles with eye contact and people cleaning up after me but I had made progress, even if it felt like two steps forward and one step back. Although the biggest progress I made in the two years was finally accept the rejection that had nearly killed me. It had been such a loud cracking sound that it had startled Jay and Collin when I had done it. Angie had heard it from the kitchen and she had ran into the room before jumping on me. Pulling me into a strong hug telling me how proud she was and that now she could take me 'shopping' for a mate as she called it.

I hadn't said the words to accept the rejection out loud but while sitting on the couch a flare of pain had happened and I knew he had been with someone else again. I had grown tired of it and I said the words inside of my head and apparently the bond had been weakened enough for it to work. Collin and Jay had laughed when I told them about the pain. Jay said that it had to have been one of the best cock blocks in the world. The pain of the rejection disappeared but a strange feeling of incompleteness had filled me instead, as if I was missing something that I needed. I had told Amber about it and she had frowned slightly and told me she wasn't sure what it could be.

I was thrown out of my musings as Davin pinned me to the ground on my back, growling playfully in my face. I yipped excitedly and wiggled in the dirt. A dark brown wolf jumped on Davin, forcing him off of me. I was instantly on my feet, lowering my front end and wiggling while making excited noises. There was no feeling like playing with the others. The other wolves mimicked my movements and I watched as Victor's wolf shook Davin's scruff slightly in warning. He was protective even though Victor avoided me. I knew what he was and I knew he was ashamed but I tried my best to not hold it against him. It was hard though, seeing my birth father continually and have him pretend I didn't exist.

I barked before bounding over to them and nipping at Victor's tail. He let Davin go and whirled around, nipping at me nose in warning before licking my snout causing me to sneeze. A long howl filled the air and I felt my body tense and perk up at the sound. I sat down and let a howl fill my throat and released it in an answer to the call Uncle Jace had just let out.

I could hear the other wolves join me and I cut my howl off and darted for the house. I could hear the pounding of feet behind me and I knew they could outrun me but for the moment I didn't care. I was free from the weight that had held me down for over half my life and I was happy. We weren't far from the pack house and I burst from the trees, the others following me.

I saw Uncle Jace on the porch and I jumped at him, shifting as I did so. I slammed against his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. He chuckled at the action before kissing my cheek in return. He kept his hands at his sides and not wrapping them around my naked form. I appreciated the gesture. Despite how unconcerned I was with nudity, I still wasn't comfortable with people touching my bare skin. There were things that lingered deep within me that I knew wouldn't come out so easily.

"Hey, sugar." Collin was smirking and I looked over Uncle Jace's shoulder to where he winked at me. He held up a dress. "Give me a kiss and you can have it." He winked at me again and I let Uncle Jace go before moving over to Collin and kissing his cheek gently with a red flush on my face. I took the dress before I pulled it over my head and looked towards Uncle Jace. He had called us back for a reason. Collin wrapped his arm around my side and I felt Jay do the same to my other side. I scrunched up my nose at the action. They were making sure I wouldn't run. The thought made my heart pound harshly in my chest.

"Maricella, we are going back." Uncle Jace looked at me and I swallowed, my eyes grew wide when I understood what he meant. I looked at his hand and noticed a black ribbon. A black ribbon for death. I felt my heart lurch in my chest, my eyes on the ribbon. I tried to pull away from the arms holding me but I knew it was no use. Uncle Jace had told me two years ago that when I got better he would kill the man responsible for my abuse.

I looked from the ribbon to the steely look in his green eyes. He had two years to think about this and I knew he wouldn't turn away from his decision. I wasn't against it, I wanted Beta John to suffer, I wanted Ingrid to suffer but I did not know what would happen when I returned to that place. Here, in the house, I knew I was safe but back there, back where it all happened, I didn't know how I would react.

I felt a lump form in my stomach and I stopped fighting against Collin and Jay. "What will happen to me?" Even I could hear the fear in my tone and his eyes softened.

"Nothing, Mari. We will not let anything happen to you. You do not have to return if you do not wish to." His gaze was soft and I nodded. I didn't wish to return, not there. I had a happy life here and I did not wish to return to where there was only pain and suffering. Dark memories lingered there and I didn't want to be brought back into the shadow of them.

"She has to, Jace. You left something there, Mari, something very important." Amber's voice was gentle but firm as she moved out of the house. I looked over my shoulder and she gave me a sympathetic look. "There is something there that you need to find." Her blue eyes were filled with confusion but she seemed firm in her decision to bring me back there.

"What is it?" I hated how my voice trembled. It reminded me of when I first arrived. Back when I was scared and weak. Back when I was trapped in the Mantras. It didn't matter that I was still struggling with the effects of them on my psyche, I was better and I didn't want to ruine my progress with going back to where it all started.

"I am not really sure but you will know it when you find it." Her words were confusing and I heaved out a large sigh. I would not win, now that Amber had stated I had to go Uncle Jace would never let me stay.

"I do not wish to enter their territory. I was banished and I do not know how they will react to me returning. What is banished should never return." I tried to control my shaky breathing and I slowly moved away from Collin and Jay. I knew the patrol of the Tacita pack would kill me if I returned. A banishment wasn't taken lightly by any pack. Just the thought of it was enough to make my breath hitch in my chest and have fear curling slowly through my veins.

"We have with witching cloaks. They will hide our scent and we shall be safe from the patrols. It is only for a short while, Mari. Just until I do what needs to be done." Uncle Jace moved closer and I felt tears in my eyes. I was scared. No. I was terrified of going back.

"I'm scared." I wrapped my arms around myself and he pulled me into a hug, pressing my face into his chest. It was still difficult for me to let the others know of my emotions because I still had a hard time expressing them. So many years of being told no and to keep them to myself made it so unbearably hard to show them to thr world.

"I know and I am sorry but for my sake, we need to." His voice was gruff but had an edge of pleading. I understood what he meant. Since his mate had been killed his wolf had lived for protecting his family. I was his niece and someone had harmed me greatly. It wasn't Uncle Jace that demanded retribution and vengeance, it was his wolf.

"I understand, Uncle. Do I need to pack?" I pulled back from his embrace and he shook his head before releasing me. I ignored the chill of winter as it moved across my bare skin. I was used to the cold and I was able to remain warm. My wolf helped with that more than anything and it was something I was entirely grateful for.

"We will not be gone for very long, Mari. A day at most. We will leave early tomorrow morning." He turned away and I nodded before pushing past Jay and Collin and heading into the house. I found myself in the living room staring at the box. It had been converted into a chair last year. I mainly used it when I would read because with most of the difficult Mantras broken I no longer needed to hide from the world's gaze. I sat down on it and wrapped the soft blanket around myself. I could hear footsteps walking towards me but I didn't lift my gaze from the corner of the chair.

"Are you alright?" Amber's voice was soft and I let out a deep breath before looking up at her. She had been correct two years ago when she said some of the Omega tendencies would linger. I couldn't hold her gaze for very long.

"What if something happens? What if I go back to how I was before?" I wasn't ready to face that yet. I wasn't ready to go back. I looked at her and she shushed me gently, placing a hand on my knee.

"You will never go back there because you are far stronger than that. By allowing that place to control your fear you are allowing it to control you. It is just a building. It is just a pack. They have nothing over you now. You are safe because they cannot possibly hurt you again." She lifted her other hand and cupped my cheek. "You are so brave and you are so strong. This cannot possibly harm you because you will not allow it too. I believe in you, we all believe in you. That isn't to say you might experience some issues. The past will linger back there and you might regress for a moment or two but it is nothing to be scared of or ashamed about." She smiled at me and I looked away for a brief moment.

"What will my father say?" I choked on the words. I had remembered my childhood. I had remembered how much he loved me, how much he cared for me and I could not bear to disappoint him. I didn't want him to turn me away, to banish me once more. Those memories were both a blessing and a curse for me.

"He will be happy you are okay. He is the one who sent you here. He is the one who made sure you would stay safe. He can be nothing less than proud." She moved and sat beside me, the box chair was large enough for her and I shifted over slightly, giving her more room.

"Why do I need to go?" I wiped at the tears that fell from my eyes and she sighed. She looked uncertain of herself and I worried my bottom lip with my teeth.

"You told me that after you accepted the rejection, the empty feeling in your chest disappeared but something else took its place. You said you felt incomplete and that something was pulling you." She said it slowly, her eyes darting back and forth as if she was trying to find the words. "I think that after you were rejected you bumped into someone whose genetics complimented yours much like your other mate did. A bond was half formed. This person would have bonded to you, sensing your need of a mate but with the rejection staying incomplete they would not know and neither would you." Her words confused me and I stared at the blanket before looking over at her.

"I don't understand." It was the truth, I was confused. She was speaking as though she believed I had another mate but I could not remember anyone else bonding with me. I couldn't remember anyone who it might be.

"The bond is no longer half formed. You accepted the rejection and now you are being pulled towards the person you are now bonded too. I know this is hard to believe but was there anyone you ran into after your rejection, anyone you felt a connection to? Someone who might have felt a connection to you?" Amber looked at me, the words were spoken low and I tried to remember, I tried to think but I shook my head. "Someone who had a bond to you. Someone who was nervous around you for no reason." The words hit a chord in me and I remembered Lucas's nervous gesture as he popped his knuckles and then I remember the blue eyed male, Bennett, scuffing his foot against the floor and him shifting his weight nervously.

I felt my breath hitch in my chest. I couldn't be certain. "No." I shook my head. I could not be certain. I couldn't be certain of it. He was kind to me but he had been from a different station. I pressed my thumb into the scar across my palm. He had taken care of me, given me gifts. I wondered for a brief moment if it would have been him I needed to seek.

"You and them wouldn't have known it at the time but the bond would have been there." Her words made the memory of my walk slip into my mind. There had only been one person who had tried to stop me. One person who had tried to save me from what they thought would be an inevitable death.

"The blue eyed male." The words seemed torn from me and I stared at Amber. "There was a blue eyed male." A smile crossed her face and she held my hands gently. I felt my heart pound strangely in my chest. There was very little proof of what she was thinking but he was the only one who fit.

"Do you know his name?" She seemed to earnest and I nodded once.

"Bennett. He told me to call him Bennett." Before I had believed it to be improper but despite the quiet screaming ove the voice I didn't shy away from saying it.

"We can see, Mari. We can see if that is what this means." She squeezed my hands and I swallowed as I looked at her.

"I'm scared." I watched as her expression changed and she cupped the back of my head and pressed her forehead against mine.

"We all are and that is okay. We will be okay, you most of all." With that she let me go and left. I sat with my thoughts until Collin sat down beside me. I jumped slightly and he chuckled before wrapping me in his arms. I leaned against him. He was a good friend, a great friend, much like the others who lived in the house. We were a close group, more like a family than a pack.

"It will be okay. I will personally murder anyone who fucks with you." He hugged me tightly and rocked me from side to side before kissing my temple. I relaxed into the comfort of him embrace.

"You promise?" I smiled as he laughed. I knew he would at my words. I looked into his eyes and rested my head against his chest once more. His heart beat was regular and strong, a comforting sound that I enjoyed. Collin was my friend, someone who continually made my smile and made sure I was happy. I didn't want to imagine my life without him. He was just too damn special to me. To us all.

"I promise. Now Seamus brought us back another movie. Die Hard. Apparently it's an old one but a good one." He didn't wait for my reply before he picked me up and threw me onto the couch. I laughed at the action, shaking away the nervousness I felt. I would be okay. I would be protected. I would be safe.