Three months later

I stared at the tv, not truly watching it as I slowly made my way across the couch towards Davin. He didn't seem to notice until I was already halfway onto his lap. I didn't know if he pretended or was that engrossed in the tv show but it made me give a small smile. He let out a chuckle before wrapping an arm around me and tucking me close to his chest. He held me loosely as I relaxed against him. I wasn't sure what we were watching but I had a feeling it was a romance movie. There was too much flowery language and longing gazes for it to not be.

"Can we watch something else?" I hated romantic movies. I had discovered a lot of things I disliked since I had settled into a routine in the pack house. I hated carrot cake, romantic and scary movies. I hated it when someone larger than me placed a hand on my shoulder. The memory for that hadn't been a brutal as I thought but it was still wasn't pleasant. Beta John used to come into the classroom and he would stand like that, his strong fingers digging painfully into my shoulder, trying to get me to cry out so I would be punished. I knew there was a reason I disliked the male, why I didn't like being around him.

"You are one of the only girls I know who hate romantic movies. Want to watch an action movie?" He shifted slightly on the couch before I leaned forward and grabbed the remote for him before he could ask. "Thank you." He kissed my temple and I let out a small sigh as he changed the channel, not waiting for me to reply. Action movies had good guys that beat the bad guys. I liked that about them. Good always won out in the end.

I settled into my spot a bit further. I had felt a bit more comfortable around Davin and Uncle Jace in the past few months but I still wasn't completely sure. That voice was still prominent in my head and on the odd occasion I blew up. I always felt guilty for it.

I had screamed at Collin the other day because he had left his plate on the coffee table. Seeing it there and his unconcerned attitude just made something snap in me. It was like every single thing I had wanted to say to the pack members who left messes for me bubbled up and I dumped it all on him. I had hunkered down into my box afterwards and had a nap. The outbursts of rage always seemed to drain me of all my energy. I had apologized to him afterwards and he simply smiled and kissed my cheek as if to say it was alright and he had already forgiven me.

"Collin, I know you are hanging around outside of the door." Davin said it as he picked up the gaming controller and flipped through the movies we had on the gaming system. There were running footsteps and Collin jumped over the back of the couch and bounced as he landed beside us.

He gave me a wide grin as I glanced over at him. "Hey, sugar." He leaned over and pecked me on the cheek before Davin grasped his face and pushed him away. Collin didn't seem to mind the harsh gesture, he merely winked at me in response.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Collin?" Davin's voice held an edge of amusement and I knew that he knew Collin did it just for those reactions.

"Every time." He grabbed by hand, holding it gently. "Cause Sugar pie honey bunch! You know that I love yooooooouuuu!" He held onto the last note and was deliberately singing it horribly to try and get me to smile as he held my hand. I stared at him, grimacing slightly before he let his bottom lip turn into a pout. "And not a single reaction. I need to up my game." The thought made me want to shudder but I refrained as the voice in my head screeched at me for it.

"If you do that, I will be hauling you to the roof by the scruff of your neck and throwing you off of it." Davin said it calmly and I slowly stretched my legs out. I was tentative in my actions as I looked at Collin through lowered eyelashes. He smirked at the tv but lifted my legs and placed them in his lap like I had wanted. I turned to the tv as the movie came on. Collin traced nonsense patterns into my skin and Davin ran his fingers through my hair as I slowly shifted so i was lying down.

Despite how interesting the movie seemed I felt my eyes grow heavy. I let them close and listened to the sounds around me fade away. It was something that I had learned to do. Relax. I had been so paranoid in Tacita that I could barely sleep at night. Now I was capable of having naps and sleeping through the night. Davin and Uncle Jace still had to come into my bedroom to calm down my nightmares but it wasn't nightly anymore. It was a relief on everyone, I knew that much. I hadn't meant to be but I was a burden on those around me at times. I didn't have to hear them say it to know it.

"Halfway through and she's almost down for the count." Collin seemed amused and I cracked an eye open. The moment for sleep was lost and I turned my gaze to the tv. I stared at it, my entire body stiffening. The man in the movie was in a dark, cement room and had his arms tied above his head, dangling from the ceiling. The position was familiar, so painfully familiar that I felt my breath hitch in my chest.

"Turn it off please." My voice barely sounded like myself. It was a weak, timid and pain filled voice that both the males reacted to. The tv went dark and I felt myself shake slightly as I sat up. For the past three months I had avoided talking about the classroom with Amber. I hadn't talked about it. I evaded questions regarding it because I thought was better to never relive it but it seemed like no matter what I did or where I was, there were little reminders that sent me back there.

"What's wrong, sugar?" Collin sounded so concerned as I pulled my knees up to my chest and hunched forwards. I was making myself small because I knew they would be angry when I answered. I hated it when they were angry but I had promised myself to always tell them the truth.

"I didn't want to see it because Ingrid used to do that to me." My voice was quiet and I stared at the fabric of my lounge pants. Each thread was perfectly in place and I waited for their response to my statement.

"She used to do that to you?" Davin's voice was tight and I gave a small nod. He quickly got off the couch and I avoided looking after him. He was going to shift to release his anger away from where it could scare me. I appreciated the gesture but it always made me feel guilty.

"This Ingrid bitch seems like she needs to come down with a case of lethal strangulation." Collin's voice was just as tight as Davin's but he stayed. "You know you are safe here, right? You understand that we would never hurt you like that?" His hand touched my shoulder and I paused for a moment before slowly nodding. They were good people, in the past three months I had experienced a kindness that I had never thought could exist for a person like me. Bennette had shown me a glimpse of a world beyond being an Omega and they had taken me into it fully.

"May I please have a pen and paper?" I finally pulled my gaze away from the tiny threads to look at Collin, who nodded. He didn't question my strange request, he simply pulled his hand from my shoulder and moved off of the couch to find me what I asked for. I fought back the shakiness in my limbs, I was safe no matter what the tv had shown. I was safe right where I was. The thought wasn't enough and I found myself moving off the couch and curling up in the familiar box. I wrapped the blanket around me and tried to push the world away.

The box had been a wonderful tool. I still had struggles eating the foods that were given to me. I spent most of my time eating in the box where I felt like the world couldn't see me breaking the rules. More and more memories had returned. Memories of my daddy, the man I had been forced to call Alpha Lawrence, memories of my life before the classroom. It was strange having my mind relinquish the memories Amber said it had repressed in an effort to save me. It hid the memories because I was beaten if it didn't. She said it was a coping mechanism.

There was a small sound and Collin set a pad of paper and a pen down on the corner of the box without looking at me. After a few moments I picked them up. I slid my hand across the lined sheet and held the pen in a shaky hand before I started drawing lines. I wasn't the best artist, I wasn't even good but the drawings were passable as I started sketching the room that haunted me for the past nine years. I felt like each pen stroke was pulling the pain from me. I was no longer hiding it like Ingrid had threatened me to do. I was letting it out and it felt almost cathartic.

Page after page of crude sketches filled the book as I finally let the secret leave me. The classroom had been my secret, my burden to carry. I didn't think I could stop drawing, even if I wanted to. I wanted it all out. I didn't want to stop halfway through and give up. I felt like it was important to sketch it out. To sketch out the abuse and the classroom and the tools they used to punish me.

"Hey, Maricella, it's time for your appointment with Amber." Uncle Jace walked into the room and his voice trailed off. I knew he saw me in the box and he looked away like he always did. My hand was cramping but I forced it to finish the sketch before I pulled all the pages back. I had filled the entire paper pad with my crude sketches. I wanted to burn it, as if the act of burning it would somehow make it all better. I knew it would feel good, letting the flame burn at the sketches of the classroom but I also knew Amber would like to see them. No, she needed to see them.

I hugged the pad to my chest and clutched at the pen tightly before I got out of the box. "Hey, you need to go see Amber." Uncle Jace was by my side almost instantly and I nodded. I did. I needed to see Amber no matter how badly the voice inside me screamed and how terrified I was about telling.

"Hey, sugar, when you are done do you want to watch a movie with me?" Collin gave me his standard cheeky smile and I looked at him carefully. I would like to but I knew that this session with Amber would be a hard one. Ninety-one days and over a hundred hours of sessions but I knew none of them would be as hard as the one I was going to walk into.

"I don't know how long it will take." I watched him carefully but it was like the words didn't faze him as he nodded.

"That's alright but I get to monopolize your time afterwards, okay? Even if you go nap, I'm going to sit there and pester you until I feel like you've repaid my hurt feelings." There was an edge of a smirk to his mouth even as he tried his hardest to pout. Any other time I would have given him a small smile but my stomach was churning unpleasantly at the thought of what was coming.

"Okay, let's get you to Amber's office." Uncle Jace pressed a hand to my back and we slowly made our way down the familiar path.

Each step seemed to resonate through me. This walk was different than the ninety-one before it. This one had everything weighing down on me, my anxiety was sky high and the paper pad felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. We reached the door and I stared at it, trying to get my mind to focus on going inside but I knew that if I did, nothing would ever be the same again.

"-cella... Maricella." Uncle Jace turned me around, the action made me jump slightly and I looked up at him. "You've been staring at the door for a few minutes and I've been trying to get your attention. Are you alright?" He looked so sincere and I wanted to tell him I wasn't alright but I needed to see Amber. I knew I wouldn't find the courage a second time.

"I'm okay, Uncle. Just a little tired." It wasn't a complete lie and I knew he didn't fully believe me.

He looked at me before frowning. "Do you want me to come in with you?" It was like he had sensed my unease about entering the room and I wanted to tell him no but I found myself nodding instead. I wanted him there, for some strange reason I wanted him to be there when it finally came out. I looked up at him, holding his gaze for a moment before I found my gaze moving away, uncomfortable with the contact.

"You can't be angry." The words came out without meaning to and he gave me a strange look. "Promise me you won't be angry." I felt my body start to shake and he nodded slowly.

"I promise, Maricella." He wrapped a large hand around the door knob and turned it. The door clicked and I jumped at the sound slightly before he pushed the door inwards. I felt my heart pound in my chest. It was loud and I knew Uncle Jace could hear it. He murmured something I couldn't hear before placing a hand on my back and basically pushing me into the office.

"Jace, will you be joining us today?" Amber didn't seem surprised at him being present. Sometimes I had him come with me, especially when I was feeling especially tired or panicky. He wasn't entirely commonplace in the office but he was close to.

"I will. Maricella wanted me to be here." His voice was a low, comforting rumble. I had grown used to both him and Davin. They were comforting. True there were numerous moments when I flinched or I was scared but they never did anything to hurt me. It was hard trying to control the sharp flinching movements when that voice screamed at me about all the punishments I would receive if I said or did something against the mantras.

I walked over to my chair and curled up, mindful of the pad of paper. My hand ached from holding the pen and I leaned forward and set it on Amber's desk. She looked at it, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. She looked like she wanted to ask me why I had it before her attention was pulled to Uncle Jace closing the door. He moved towards the small, uncomfortable chair in the corner of the room by the potted plant. It was his usual spot during my sessions.

"Alright, let's start with your progress." She shuffled some papers and I knew this part was more for Uncle Jace's benefit than for mine. I was acutely aware of what my progress was, I saw Amber daily. "You have put on another six pounds in the past two weeks. That is good, that puts your total weight at a hundred and four pounds. That is still low and I know we can get it back up there but you are out of the danger of your body shutting down." She gave me a smile before looking back at the papers in her hand.

"You are still having some issues with anger but that is to be expected." She turned the page in her folder, her eyes scanning the new page for a moment. "You still aren't opening up about some of the things you are going through but agai-" She stopped talking as I tore the first page off of the pad. Her light blue eyes looked at me with curiosity as I stared at the crude drawing of the familiar room. I moved my chair closer to her desk and set the paper down on it. I watched as she looked between me and the paper before slowly reaching out and picking it up.

"That's the classroom." I choked on the words slightly. It was the cold, damp room that I had been thrown into shortly after Alpha Lawrence had left for Russia. "I spent six months chained up in that place. I was isolated from everyone and everything." I ripped the second page off and set it down on the desk. It showed the positions of the chains and I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "Two or three days after Alpha Lawrence left, Beta John came to my room early in the morning and dragged me down into the basement and threw me in there." It hurt so much to remember but I knew I needed too. The memories needed to come out and be seen. Abuse was perpetuated in silence and I wouldn't be silent about it anymore.

"I was confused but the confusion faded when Ingrid came. I was hung from my wrists and she beat me with canes." I tore the third and fourth page off and set it down. It showed the wall of canes, smallest to largest and a figure with its hands above its head, hanging from the ceiling. It was so poorly drawn but from the look on Amber's face as she picked it up I knew it didn't need to be perfect for her to understand what it was. "She kept stating I was an Omega and would always be an Omega. After the first beating I was left alone for two or three days. I wasn't given any food or water. I wasn't allowed out to use the washroom. I was stuck in that room." I tore off more of the pages, setting them on her desk. One held a figure curled up in a corner, another held a figure banging on a door and the last one held fire.

"What is this one?" Amber's voice was quiet as she tapped the picture of the fire. I stared at it. That wasn't until later. I wanted to tell her everything in order. She needed to wait.

"After the three days. I was given a small bit of cereal but as soon as I tried to take a bite, I was hung up by my wrists and Ingrid beat me with another cane. She kept repeating 'An Omega cannot eat pack food.' as she beat me. When I would pass out she would throw icy water on me." I swallowed hard. "After what felt like hours, she let me down and gave me the bowl of cereal again. It took one more beating before I understood what she was doing. I rejected the food, thinking it would help me but she merely hung me up and beat me again. 'An Omega must never be ungrateful.'." I ripped off some more of the pages, handing them to Amber. I noticed she had kept the fire one separate from the rest as she looked them over. I noticed a faint trembling in her hands as she shuffled through them.

"I wasn't allowed to eat for nearly two weeks and I was only allowed to because I repeated what had been beaten into me. An Omega cannot eat pack food." I remembered how Ingrid had smiled at that. A sickeningly sweet smile that showed how much she enjoyed it. "Each lesson was beat into me like that. Each Mantra was forced into me through pain. After the Mantras were in place, they focused on erasing everything that I had been." Tears filled my eyes and my head ached so much but I pushed forward. I knew I needed to continue.

"I had hoped that my daddy would stop them, would save me, but as time dragged on and on and the beatings continued... I couldn't hope anymore. I was so scared that I would be there forever. I was in so much pain. I was alone with no one to help me." It had been horrible, the slowly creeping time that passed and the pain that continued to wrack my body. It never stopped it only grew less horrible before she would begin again. I sniffled as tear flooded my eyes. "Ingrid told me he had abandoned me, that he didn't love my anymore, that he never loved me because I was the bastard child of filthy rogues." My voice trembled and I sniffled, unable to stop the tears as the fell from my eyes.

"Beta John returned after awhile. He... he dragged me upstairs and outside. There was a pile of my stuff in the lawn next to a big barrel. Everything Alpha Lawrence had ever given me was there, Ingrid was too. They forced me to burn everything, they caned me while I did it. Ingrid kept repeating that an Omega has no possessions." I could still remember the acrid smoke, could still remember the pain of the words and of the caning. "I burned my entire childhood in that barrel and they caned me for every tear that fell." I ripped off more sketches and set them down on the desk. My hands were trembling and I felt my teeth chatter slightly.