"I fear you, your memories"

Meera dropped the newspaper from her hands seeing him, he's the one haunting her mind every day, every minute and every second. She trembled to recall that past that she never wanted to remind.

She doesn't want to see that face, and she doesn't want anything that reminds him so she immediately scrambled the paper and thrown it in the trash can. She came out of her house and went to the terrace to clear her mind. By sitting on the cold floor Meera rested her back on the wall leaving out a sigh.

She was silent for some time a strong cold breeze was hitting her face and her eyes again welled with tears. Why am I like this? Why am I this vulnerable? She asked herself and cried for some time holding her knees then wiping off the tears, feeling the stress that is building inside her. She looked up at the moon and clouds but there are no Stars, she heard the sound of a barking dog at the far end, other than that she was surrounded by the coldness and darkness.

"Meera?" she heard someone voice and lifted her head up to see Shanthi.

"Ah... yeah," Meera cleared her throat and Shanthi sat beside her.

"Why is there any problem?" she asked her in a concerned tone.

"No it's not like that," Meera refused and Shanthi can clearly identify that Meera cried because of her voice and also she caught Meera a couple of times while sitting here and crying.

"Again you're doing the same, crying will never end anything Meera," Shanthi told patting her shoulder. Meera was silent and she knows what she was saying is true, but what else she can do? She is so helpless in controlling her emotions and this her weakness.

"Are you crying thinking about your mom?" she asked her.

Meera nodded as yes. She told about her mom and her death when she caught Meera crying for the first time, but the other part of the truth... she doesn't want to talk about that to anyone, only Meera and that person knows that sinful past.

"Meera I know what you're feeling, even I cried a lot when Renu's father died. But think like this way if we keep on crying will them going to come again, No! Even I had a companion but for you, there's no one you have to be strong Meera. I don't know how you're thinking about me but I am seeing you as my elder daughter. We are with you so don't push yourself into misery and try to be happy and forget about everything," she comforted Meera with her warm words.

Her words made Meera cry again, and she felt happy at the same time that still there's someone who cares for her and gives some hopes for the tomorrow. Shanthi patted her shoulders and asked Meera to stop crying.

Then she eventually stopped. They sat there for some time talking about the things in their work and Meera forget about everything after their talk. They decided to leave, Meera went into her house and locked the door behind.

I don't think I will sleep without having you, she thought and took her medicine bottle and sat on her bed, looking at the side of a trash can. The first thing that I need to do tomorrow is to throw that away since I can do only that, how peaceful it would be if I can able to throw the memories as in the same way. Meera laid thinking this and suddenly she heard a thunderstorm, then in a few minutes, it started to rain. She went near the window and saw the pouring rain.

Meera hates rain because on one Rainy day she lost everything. Every time it reminds those things, she hates the monsoon. But sometimes she will think even the sky has an unbearable pain like so that it cries at times without holding it back.

Why I am reminding him on every single moment, is that because I am... missing... him? she asked that question which she never wanted to ask herself because it felt she is betraying her conscience, she is afraid to know the fact that person is still in her heart and will remain in there for a lifetime, Meera thought while watching the rain.

.

.

Next morning she noticed her eyes were again red, she doesn't know whether it's for lack of sleep or crying.

Meera took the trash can and went out to throw them. She saw Renuka coming carrying her trash can.

"Good morning," she beamed.

"Morning Renu," Meera greeted and they both walked out. After throwing away the trash, Renu asked her to wait for her after getting ready for the work so that they can walk together to the bus stop and Meera agreed to that.

Meera like usual wore that boring uniform and today she applied some concealer to hide her dark circles. While looking herself in the mirror she asked sorry to her beautiful brown orbs, every time she is hurting it by crying. Though the man she loved has told many times that she has very beautiful eyes, those times she never thought he will be the reason for her pain, thinking this she sighed chuckling.

She didn't have her breakfast. She went down, Renu was waiting for her already and Shanthi waved goodbye to them before leaving to her work

"Meera you're becoming so lean, are you eating properly?" she kidded.

She smiled "Yeah I am eating a lot but don't know why I am not gaining any weight," Meera told.

"What's your age, Meera?" Renuka asked giving a curious expression.

"Twenty four, why you're asking me?"

"Just to know, I am two years younger than you," she said and they reached the bus stop. Meera and Renu took the same bus, throughout the travel Renu talked about her class and everything.

"Meera can you do me a favor, if there's any vacancy in the shop you're working will you tell me since Mom is working really hard and I am planning to get a part-time job so that I can help her a little," she asked.

"Okay, Sure I will tell you," Meera assured and thought she's really a good daughter and she reminds herself, Meera was also like her when she was in that age and she worked a lot of part-time jobs to support her mom and also for her expenses.

They were silent after that when Meera reached her bus stop she got down and waved goodbye to her and Renuka did the same.

Meera said Hi to Priya when she went to her place and she smiled. After chit-chatting for a few minutes, they started their work. In the afternoon after having their lunch Meera and Priya were informed to meet Rani Mam so they both went to her cabin.

"Good afternoon mam," they both greeted in unison. Rani Mam was a very kind lady by heart but she may look like a strict woman from outside, that's why she is perfect for this job.

"Good morning," she looked at us. "Coming Friday there's a party arranged by a Very important person, many politicians, and business people were going to attend so you two have to work overtime," she informed.

"Ok, mam," Priya said but Meera hesitated.

"There's no other way you have to," Rani Mam commanded in an ordering tone seeing Meera's silence and Meera nodded without having another option.

"Hey don't worry I will drop you at your home," Priya said after they came out of her cabin.

"Hmm," she nodded and continued her work, day after tomorrow is Friday and I have to ask permission to take leave for my part-time job, oh god it's frustrating she felt.

"Hey, do you know whose party is this?" Priya asked her after gossiping with other employees

"No, who?" Meera questioned looking at her computer screen.

"Vikranth, The famous businessman you would have seen him in the newspaper, TV channels, and social Medias right? He's very famous," she told and that almost startled Meera. Her heart just stopped for a minute after hearing that name, she can't believe what she heard.

"Do you mean Vikranth Shivakumar, who owns that largest textile industry in our city," she asked without believing.

"Yeah you are right!" she confirmed it.

Her heart started to beat even faster and she doesn't know what she is going to do. I am going to meet the one that I wanted to erase in my life, No I can't do this I can't! She thought and got up from her seat.

"Hey what happened where you are going?" Priya asked.

"No nothing I am going to meet Rani Mam," Meera said and walked to her cabin.

When she was about to knock, Meera heard she's scolding one employee for asking a day off on that Friday. Meera backed off and thought about whether to ask this or not. She, at last, concluded this isn't right time so she went back to her place in a defeat.

But she strongly determined to talk about this tomorrow and no matter what she can never work on Friday.