Once I left the library my mind explode in seconds and I couldn't stop what was going to me. This morning I was determined to ignore Amanda as much as I can and next I was enjoying this kiss. I still feel her warm lips on me which bite me the way I can't explain in words now. She is really a good kisser which makes this situation more difficult than ever. Her lips are so kissable and when she touches me I couldn't control my feelings. I want to melt in her arms and let her explore me inch by inch.

When I left the room I try to concentrate on this situation so I went to the library but the movement I saw Amanda every plan shattered in the same movement. I remember last night kiss which I enjoy actually but I want to blame on alcohol but now when we kiss it was natural like I want her to keep kissing me. I was supposed to angry at her because she makes me drunk last night but here I was enjoying her every touch. When she kisses me she has some kind of control on my body and my mind stop functioning at that same time.

I can't do anything right now so instead of going to my class I went to ground so that I can have peace of mind. As much as I enjoy Amanda kisses I still feel Kate eyes on me. The way she was looking at me it's like she was feeling disgusted with me, I mean Amanda whole group is full of Richie people who treat all other people like they are the servant. Amanda was supposed to be like this but these days she was treating me wonderful but what if it was some kind of game of her. I know her reputation very well and I am her roommate so I know her hookup stories.

Since I met her I was sure she was a total bitch but when we had a big quarrel and then she treats me like a punching bag. All her friends make my life living hell but then from last few days she stop bullying me and neither she picks me up and insults me. I mean why there was the sudden change of heart makes me wonder a lot. I am still scared of her friends but mostly Kate and Robin bullied me a lot in the absence of Amanda. But since the day she starts treating me properly no one dares to touch me. Yes, I still felt there gazes at me and the way they look at me I can say they are saying I am not more than a trash to them.

I still remember when I share a car ride with Amanda it was awkward silence between both of us. The way she touches me or how she treated me was beyond the words. She was bitchy but deep inside she was really a good person I guess. Her eyes show me that she was alone and I want to wrap my arms around her neck and never let her go. But what if she doesn't want me or the worst part she left me alone and move on with some rich girl. My thoughts were conflicted between giving a chance to her or not but as usual, I end up with nothing.

I am still not sure what to do and I really don't have the courage to face Amanda right now so I decided to meet my new friend. Yes, I know I was shocked when I made my new friend but what can I say he was really sweet of me. We work together in the store and he is really a shy guy like me it was difficult to talk to each other but somehow we find comfort between our small talks. I quickly text him to let him know that I was coming to meet him. I got his message from him that he was at the home and I can come over to his place instead of his college. He is really shy and handsome guy also a Russian so his accent is very different which is why he feels shy to talk to anyone for any kind of judgment.

"Hey, Zach how are you? I miss you so much, I said while chuckling

"Don't be friendly I know something is up to so come in or do you want to have a conversation on the door only?" he said teasingly

No doubt why we became friends because he is really sweet and also know me well I mean I feel so. I feel protected and secure with him somehow I really wonder how soon we became good friends. After that awkward conversation and ordering pizza for lunch, we settled down on his sofa. I told him everything about me and Amanda what happened early and how she changes so much and treating me well. I told her about our kiss which I find difficult to say loud enough. I mean she was my first kiss who uses to hate me so much. He keeps listening to me without any interruption which I so glad about this. He is really nice because he never disturbs you in the middle of a conversation and starts judging you without knowing the situation. When completed he has some weird expression on his face which I don't understand at all. I want him to give me some suggestion or some kind of help but instead of that, his gaze fixed on my eyes like he was trying to find something in me. It was not a bad kind of gaze nope but it was kind of intense which makes me more uncomfortable. His eyes are blank and I can't able to understand what he was actually thinking so that this awkward silence can be ended. After what some few awkward minutes he clear his throat look on the different side.

"So, you are trying to say that this girl whose name I suppose is Amanda who use to bullied you in college now suddenly has a change of heart and want to come close to you and touch you," he said in a flat tone

"Umm.....yes I guess" I stammer on my words

"So, do you like her too or not?" he said more seriously

"I don't know maybe I like her don't know I mean I am not sure about my feelings that's why I came to you to get some help," I said to him with a defeated voice

"Clearly you like her otherwise you would be refused her instantly and don't come here to ask for my help" he chuckled

I guess he is right because if I was not curious about her and don't like her then on the first place I never let her touch me on multiple of occasions but I clearly enjoy her every touch so I guess I like this girl a lot now.

"Umm.... So what do you want me to do now?" I whisper towards him

"If you like her so you better should pursue her I mean if you don't try how you will find out about all this and now it's right to stage of falling in love and enjoying everything," he said with the wide smile

He is right if I don't continue with her then how I will find it out whether we meant to be with each other or not. Maybe this beautiful goddess really likes me in that way so maybe I should risk my heart once for now otherwise I never able to find my love. I guess it's time for me to pursue Amanda and let myself fall in for her.

"So that means I am falling in love with Amanda"