Allie

I hate him. He stayed late knowing he would try to trap me in my own home. What kind of guy in his early twenties wants to be around the girl he didn't know he impregnated at a party? A girl he never even cared to know her own name before he dumped her out on the street.

It can't possibly have something to do with Jadon.

Unless it is and I'm the one being self-absorbed here. Right, why would he want anything to do with me?

"I just need a drink. I'll be right back."

What am I going to do? Dad can't be that dull not to notice it. Lucas needs to leave. I just can't handle this right now.

I just need a breath. I need space. Maybe after I've had time to think of a way to subtly clear the air here, it would be easier. But why is Lucas here? Is he trying to push for something?

"Hey."

Holy cheese and rice, is he trying to make me turn into one of those women that yells? I don't like to yell and scream. But I just might with this guy.

"What do you want, Lucas?"

Dad and Jadon's laughs are loud from outside.

"Well, for starters, to know why I have to get your dad to invite me over for dinner just so you'll talk to me."

"Why? You'll just dump me out of the nearest vehicle when you're done."

"Come on, Allie, don't be like that." He leans against the fridge and I want there to be a sudden sinkhole right where he's standing. "Yeah, I kicked you out of the car, and I'm sorry. Okay? I can't change that, and can't change the fact that I haven't been here, but I'm here now. I want to get to know him."

"Why? You saw him eight hours ago. Plus, you don't even know if he's yours." I hate how Lucas Kennedy has that five o'clock shadow on his face that only makes him look better, whereas my makeup is essentially gone and my hair is most definitely a mess at the end of the day.

Lucas cocks his head to the side because that was one weak argument from my side. Can't help it, his stupid face is pretty. "Really? You mean to tell me in this population fifteen-thousand town that there is another person here that has my eyes and looks exactly like me when I was five? Maybe I have a brother I didn't know about?"

"Who knows? Maybe hidden pregnancies run in your family and you have a brother out there making you look bad. You should put an ad out on a milk carton."

"Are you always like this?"

"Like what? A joy? Always." I turn and grab a glass to fill with water from the fridge.

Standing beside him, I have to stop breathing. He smells like something I don't need to smell right now. Trouble. That's what I'll call the eucalyptus and coconut oil smell. Trouble. And... saturated fat. Two things I don't need in my life right now.

I get my water and back away far enough that it won't invade my senses.

"No, a bitter ball of anger and hatred even when you could have said no. And for the record, I came back that night to look for you. Nobody knew who you were and I figured you were long gone."

"You two okay in there?" Dad calls from outside.

"Coming!" I shout back. I hate shouting. It's Lucas' fault.

"Allie, wait," he takes my arm in his strong hand. "Can we just talk about this before he figures it out?"

"Nope. You can leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, Allie. Act like an adult for a minute."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you. I've been the adult for five years while you were judging wet t-shirt contests."

"Oh for fucks' sake, Allie, really? I went on one Spring Break. And what does it matter? I had no idea I had a kid!"

"Fine," I say. "Stay. See what happens."

"Fine. I will."

"Well, okay, then."

It is occurring to me now that we are standing inches apart and his face is about four inches too close to mine. "After you," he gestures to the door. "We'll see who breaks first."

"Hmmph." I am not confident at all. I don't know what he means by break first, but I'm not saying jack squat.

Lucas follows me out back and takes his seat.

I sit down reluctantly, waiting for the first opportunity to grab Jadon and run. Dad's had a few beers, it seems, and starts blabbing about the football team with Lucas. Jadon is sitting in my dad's lap playing with a toy dinosaur and I catch Lucas staring at him every so often.

Better not get any ideas.

Although, I wouldn't mind seeing my dad punch him in the face if he figures it out. I'm just not sure if he would be so happy with me, though...

Lucas glances at me every so often with this expectant look as though I'm just going to pipe up randomly and break the news.

Nope.

He didn't have the decency or extend the courtesy of asking my name when we met, why would I break the news? If anything, I've done more than enough. And I still don't know what he meant by breaking first, but I'm not doing it, whatever it is.

It is my son who does me dirty in this, though.

"Look. His eyes." He points to the devil incarnate across the table and breaks the standoff Lucas and I certainly were not having. "Like mine!"

It's my fault. I should have kept him out longer. Waited until I knew Lucas was gone.

"What?" My dad chuckles and kisses Jadon. "You're silly. Lucas doesn't—"

You know the moment when you realize something so profound that you take a moment to just pause? My dad is having that currently while Lucas and I both shift in our seats. The cells in his brain are slowly putting things together, but he may not believe it. Maybe he'll blame it on the three beer bottles resting on the table in front of him.

Yeah, maybe that will work.

"One gray, one blue," Jadon continues to rub salt in a wound he doesn't realize is there.

My father, the tough but fair coach, the semi-strict parent, and the friendly man of our small town everybody knows... has developed a tic in his left eye that won't stop the longer his eyes go between Lucas and me.

Okay, so no miracles tonight, I guess. Time to go. I break. I'm done. Lucas wins.

"Jadon, why don't we go upstairs and—"

"No," Dad says firmly. "Jadon, please go get changed and wait for your mommy upstairs. She will be up shortly."

Jadon jumps off my dad's lap and sprints upstairs without realizing he probably signed my death warrant. But that's a lot to put on a small child when I dug my own grave here.

"Is this what I think it is?" Dad asks. "Or is this just a coincidence?"

"What, exactly, do you think it is?" I clear my throat. No, I don't feel like a bug under a microscope.

"Allison." He warns me and then glares at Lucas. "Did you know?"

Lucas clears his throat. "I just found out, sir."

He turns to me, but then back to Lucas. "Wait. You're the one that threw my daughter out of your car? Is that why you were asking about Jadon's father? You're the guy that treated my daughter like discarded trash when you were finished with her?"

Lucas stills.

"Is that why you tried to get a job with me?"

The questions roll out of my father without room to be answered. Lucas waits for him to finish, but he's not even close.

"Dad," I have to stop him because Lucas doesn't know how to stop my father on a rant. "He didn't know."

I hate myself for standing up for him right now, but I won't lie. About this. Not while my dad is seeing proof in Lucas' eyes.

Why couldn't my eyes be the dominant gene or whatever it's called? It would have been so much easier to conceal Jadon. It's like fate is playing tricks on me or something.

"This is why you went out with Jadon. You thought I wouldn't notice. Do you think I'm stupid, Allie?"

"No, but-"

"And you knew exactly who he was. He was the damn quarterback. You sat in that house," Dad points behind me, "and told me you didn't know his name. All this time, he could have been helping with Jadon while you struggled through school and everything else that happened in your life, Allison. You intentionally made things more difficult on yourself. I understand why, I do, but that doesn't justify your actions. You lied to me. And you kept the truth from him."

"Sir, don't be upset with her, please. I wasn't exactly—"

"And you," Dad can't seem to decide which of us he's more upset at right now. "Ignoring the part where you used my daughter for your few minutes of gratification, have had the entire evening to say something. If you truly didn't know until now, I'm not sure what your goals are, but you need to figure out what it is you want with Jadon. He doesn't need you dropping in and out of his life because you were too stupid to use contraception or treat my daughter with an ounce of respect when you met her."

I want to choke because not only is this conversation difficult to have, but my dad is talking about Lucas and me. And sex.

It's... awkward...

He scoots out of his chair and runs his hands down his face. "Allie, I am so disappointed that you not only have denied Jadon a chance to get to know his father, but this is just..." his nostrils flare. "I don't have words for this right now. Lucas, I'll see you at work tomorrow. Allie..."

He leaves before he finishes that statement.

"Allie," Lucas starts, but I can't listen to it right now.

"Don't." My chest feels tight. "I just need a minute."

Lucas sits quietly while I try to stop useless tears before they start. Crying is for babies and I'm not going to.

"Allie, I truly am sorry for what I did to you. I know it was stupid and irresponsible and immature. I really do wish I could take it back, but I can't. I really would like to make it up to you by helping out with Jadon and showing you I really can be his father, if you let me. Family is important to me, and he's my family. I'll do whatever you want. Just please, let me get to know my son."

I open my mouth, but Dad appears out of nowhere. "Perfect! Allie is taking him to visit a daycare tomorrow. You can go with them."