Token sighed. 

"So it's come to this" he said 

"Yep." Clyde responded.

We were all at our lunch table looking across the cafeteria at Craig, how was sitting with kenny and his friends 

"He joined the dark side. He told us we'd never see him cross" Clyde Said 

"This truly is a sad day for all of us" I responded 

"Th-this is so s-sad Alexa play des- des-despa-des- despacito" 

"Way ahead of you" clyde pulls out hi s phone and despacito plays quietly 

I can't believe craig ditched us to hang out with the gang he hates. In middle school he just hated them because they were annoying but now he hates them because he fucked Stan and he never called back, he dated Kyle and he broke his heart and cartman is just an asshole. To no ones surprise Craig looks super bored. He's just digging himself into Kenny's shoulder.

Clyde wipes a tear "desspaacittoo"

"But hey clyde" I said 

"Yeah?"

"Wanna hang out today?"

"We just hung out yesterday"

"Well yeah with those people-" I said with token cutting in "we're right here" 

"- lets hang out just you me and Wendy"

"Dude Wendy's a bitch" Clyde said, bitting into his chicken nugget.

"When you piss her off"

"Eh, I guess you're right"

"Her house at 4. Oh and she has kenny coming over to get the homework at 4:30, I guess"

Clyde beamed "Really?"

"Clyde." Jimmy looked at him disappointed. "Buddy."

"What?"

"We know what you're thinking" token takes a sip of his weird vegan smoothie.

"Mind reader."

"Is-...is that supposed to insult me?"

<>

I was laying on the floor of Wendy's room doing homework. And of course I was kicking my feet like a schoolgirl in a 1980s movie. Ironically clueless was playing on Wendy's old school box tv. Wendy at the time was doing her homework on her desk. Fuckin nerd.

"Hey tweek?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you drink all that coffee and your heart hasn't stopped yet?" 

"Bold of you to assume I run on something other than spite" I told her.

I heard the muffled voice of Cardi B. Singing. "Clyde texted me"

"What'd he say?"

"He's here"

"Well go get him"

"That's what I'm doing"

I walked down the stairs and to the door. I welcomed Clyde and we went back to her room. 

"Yo, the party has finally arrived" Clyde said walking into Wendy's room

"Yippie" she stated turning from her desk

"Is this clueless?" He asked

"Yeah, and next we're watching breakfast club" I said sitting on the floor.

"That's sick" he says sitting next to me. Wendy laughs and sits on her bed. Her blanket was sewn by her grandma when she was 6. It's really comfy. It's not very soft although.

After we watch the rest of clueless, we get halfway into the breakfast club when Clyde turns to me and says "you know what our situation with Craig and Kenny reminds me of?"

"What?" I ask him

"That song. Jessie's girl. By Rick Springfield," he said "but in your situation it'd be called Kenny's boy."

I smirked and added "I kind of always thought it was more teenage dirtbage, ya' know? By wheatus."

He gasped "oh my gosh I didn't even think of that!"

Me and Wendy laughed "I like the Jessie's girl one, it fits you and Craig better"

Clyde agreed "Yeah! I mean like the lyric 'I feel so dirty when they start talkin' Cute, I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably mute' " 

"Okay, Okay But!" I Said "what about the lyric in teenage dirtbag? 'And her boyfriends a dick, and he brings a gun to school and he'd simply kick, my ass if he knew the truth'" 

"Kenny does not bring a gun to school." Clyde said

I got up and started to sing "HIS NAME IS CRAIG, I HAVE DREAM ABOUT HIM. HE RINGS MY BELL. I GOT GYM CLASS IN HALF AN HOUR OH HOW HE ROCKS! IN KEDS AND TUBE SOCKS. BUT HE DOSENT KNOW WHO I AM. AND HE DOSNET GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME! CAUSE IM JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY! YEHA IM JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY! LISTEN TO IRON MAIDEN BABY, WITH ME"

"Uh, Tweek?" Wendy said with a shacky finger

"HIS BOYFRIENDS A DICK! HE BRINGS A GUN TO SCHOOL. AND HED SImply kick my ASS IF HE KNEW THE TRUTH! HE LIVES ON MY BLOCK, AND DRIVES AN IROC BUT HE DOSENT KN-"

I was cut off by Clyde this time

"Tweek!" He points to the door

I turn around and expect to see dragons or something but I see kenny leaning against the door and snickering a little bit. "I don't drive an iroc for your information. I don't have a car"