WEEKS: 37-42

It was so damn hot! Miami was beautiful, but during the peak of summer we wanted to kill ourselves, it's so hot! Eva and I went out for a drink on a Saturday evening, to a lovely salsa bar. Eva got the taste for it, and we've been going every week – to be honest, I needed the distraction. After "breaking up" with my one-night stand, I was feeling a bit down.

I'm the kind of woman to focus on work first, anything else second – that has caused a strain on previous relationships, which haven't lasted long, really. Eva and I had 'broken up' for a while as well. I know I tend to be very self-centered, but I don't mean for it to hurt other people. I guess it's just some sort of defense mechanism – or at least that's what my therapist keeps telling me, and I pay her well to tell me that, would you believe...?

Eva also needed to live a little, and I was glad we had each other's company. She had been hurt after her boyfriend broke up with her out of the blue for some newer model. She had flown over the best years of her life with little to no experiences to show. She needed to get back on track, do things for herself, experience life. And I was there to ride every high and low with her.

"We're gonna grow old together" Eva grinned, clicking her glass to mine.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna be fucking old and wrinkle and single" I sighed, but smiled back at her.

"God, we're such a sad pair! I think we should start accepting Amelia's offer to being set up with her fiancée's friends."

"Ugh." I shivered and my friend laughed "Nathan has a personality of a piece of lettuce."

"Aw, you're such a poet!" Eva laughed again, and I had to chuckle.

"I'm just not ready for a relationship, I'm sorry" I shrugged, crossing my legs under the table.

"Violet, that's what you've been saying ever since we've met in college" Eva scowled at me.

"Well, I've been busy" I shrugged, and she laughed.

She quickly stopped laughing and cursed, setting her drink on the table.

"What?" I frowned and looked from over my shoulder to what her eyes had met with shock.

"Oh, fuck me..." I muttered.

There he was. The biggest man I've ever seen in my life – or maybe I just felt so small... He saw me, waved at Eva who replied with a tight smile and turned his back to keep chatting with his friends. Yep, feeling really small over here...

"Just forget about him." Eva advised, patting my hand over the table "It's been weeks, I'm sure he's over it as well."

"Clearly!" I snorted sarcastically.

"Well..." Eva sighed, shrugging "Perhaps he actually liked you."

"That helps." I sighed, rubbing my temples "Look, I'm going. I don't feel like being here anymore."

"Oh, fuck me with a sugar dick, he's coming!" Eva gasped, and I would've laughed if I wasn't too busy trying to get my purse and run.

A massive hand landed on my wrist and cautiously stopped me. I was muttering prayers under my breath, but obviously, they were fruitless. When I met a pair of steel eyes a whole foot taller than me, I swallowed hard.

"Hey, you!" Eva tossed before either of us could say a word "Long time no see!"

"Hey, Eva." He tossed, not taking his eyes off mine "Could I take your friend for a quick chat for a few?"

Before my friend could reply, he grabbed my hand with an incredible firm but soft way, and pulled me to the courtyard, where people were talking, romancing, drinking and dancing.

"Look, Jordan, I'm sorry if I misled you in any way, but-"

His hands grabbed my face gently and his mouth interrupted me. His kiss was firm and long. I actually felt my knees buckle, and my hands held on his shirt. His dropped to my waist as he nestled me to his chest. One traveled up my spine and caressed my nape, twisting the kiss as he pleased. When he stopped, his nose touched mine and his silver gaze was hard.

"Now, tell me again how busy you are with work?" He teased.

"Jordan, stop." I sighed, but my hands caressed his pecs over the white shirt "This is wrong"

"That's why it's hot."

"Look, we have nothing in common!"

"Hang on." He frowned and chuckled "That's not true. We both enjoy dancing, walking on the beach, pizza in bed and a steamy shower. Oh, and sleeping together."

"Uh, baby, yes, please take me to the altar now!" I teased, and he tossed his head back to laugh.

"And I love your sense of humor. C'mon, don't be a little sissy. Man up."

"I'm not being-"

He kissed me again! The nerve of the man. He went all-in - as he always did, to be fair. When he stopped again, I was breathless.

"Tell me there's nothing here, and I'll leave" He dared me, I could see the glimpse of mischief in his gorgeous eyes.

"There's nothing" I responded quickly, just to spite him.

He blinked and frowned. I couldn't hold it and jumped to kiss him.

"Let's go." He begged me, our lips not leaving each other's "Come with me."

I didn't think twice; we both ran out the club and into his car. I remember seeing Eva with Jordan's group, and they were all cracking jokes our way – we ignored them. We trembled all the way back to his flat, tripped through the front door, taking each other's clothes off. When we fell on the bed, I couldn't think anymore. This man's body was sin, and I was a repressed catholic girl wanting to discover. He was gentle but firm, tender and romantic but sexy as hell. We made passionate love until the late hours, cuddled under the covers, and I fell asleep with him caressing my hair and my back.

It was hard to wake in the morning, put my clothes on, write him a quick 'I'm sorry' on a piece of paper, and leave. He would probably hate me after that, but we were just not right for each other. This had no future.

***

WEEKS: 33-38

Dad was happy with the elections. His favorite candidate, the Cheeto, was going strong against Clinton, and his business associates had even considered supporting his campaign. I disagreed, obviously, and we've had a fight on our usual Sunday lunch. It was unusual for me, to be honest; I usually just shrug and move on, but I'd been really emotional in the last few weeks. Eva kept pointing out how bitchy I was being all the time, how crude and emotional. I guess I was just stressed. I mean, it was the peak of the summer, it was hot and moist and I was feeling hot and bothered all the time.

"Ok, you're coming with me!"

"Jesus Christ on a fucking bicycle!" I shrieked, as my friend Eva trotted inside my office in her bright and short yellow dress, her short blonde hair and big black shades.

"C'mon, c'mon!" She clapped her perfectly manicured hands.

"Shouldn't you be at work?!"

"I'm a partner at my law firm, remember?" She snorted, pulling me out of my office "And it's four o'clock on a Friday, by the way – time to go home!"

I tried to fight her, but she literally dragged me out my office, tossed me into her Mercedes and drove off. When we arrived at my apartment, she kicked her heels off when we got into, still grabbing my hand

"Where the hell are we going?!" I grunted as we walked into my room "Are we having best friends' sex?"

"Get in there" She pushed me into the toilet "sit on there, get these and get peeing."

I frowned at the small pharmacy bag and then scowled at her.

"Is this a joke?"

"Look, you've been moody, sick, awfully annoying and, most importantly, even though you don't want to tell me, I bet you two had unprotected sex and that's why you went to the doctor's a couple of weeks ago. You had blood tests to make sure you're clean, right?"

"How the hell do you know that?!" I gasped; well it was true, and thankfully I was clean.

"Just pee on the stick, and meet me out there so we can wait five minutes, ok?"

We waited sitting on the floor next to my bed. I was sweating, my palms were sticky and my heart racing and throbbing in my chest. This was ridiculous! I wasn't pregnant, for God's sake! It was one night, he had to have Usain Bolt's sperm for it to work that fast!

"Ok, that's it." Eva sighed, as her phone buzzed on her lap; she took a deep breath "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be" I shrugged.

"Ok, just in case, we have three." She pointed at the three white and blue tests on the floor "According to the paper, it should say 'Pregnant' and the number of weeks, or 'Not pregnant'. Ready?"

I nodded, taking one of them and not daring to look at the result. I grunted and tossed it to the carpet, covering my face.

"I can't do it. You do it. Just tell me."

"Ok." Eva sighed, and I heard a shuffle around the carpet "Here we go..."

She was quiet for a long while. All I could hear was an 'Uh, uh' and 'Ok', very dispassionately – damn, she had a good poker face!

"So?" I tossed, taking my hands off my face.

She showed me the three tests, all aligned like a deck of cards, all staring back at me menacingly.

"Well, I'm only hoping this means you will have one and not three" Eva tossed, with a soft smile.

***

I didn't go out all weekend. I didn't even answer Eva's calls, didn't reply to her texts. Only when she texted she would be calling the police to check if I was alive unless I texted something to make sure I was still breathing, did I reply with a single dot. She sent a scowl emoji, and we didn't speak for the next few days. Sunday, I had my usually quiet lunch at dad's; he didn't look suspicious but, again, why should he?

Monday came, work, eat, work, home, eat, sleep. Tuesday. Work, home, sleep – couldn't eat, too sick for that all-day long. By Wednesday I decided I should try and eat, or I would probably end up at the hospital.

Eva popped into my office with a little goody bag. I didn't dare to pay attention to her as she made her way in, closed the glass door and sat in front of my desk.

"Glad to see you're still alive" Eva tossed, taking her shades and dropping the bag on my desk.

"What's that?" I grunted, feeling like shit.

"Some baby-friendly food. Pre-natal vitamins, a copy of What to Expect when you're Expecting, and tissues. Lots and lots of tissues" Eva shrugged.

"I don't need any of those things" I assured her with a frown.

"Well, apparently you do." She snorted "Are we still in denial, then?"

"No. I'm an informed adult, and I've made my decision. I'm not keeping it."

Eva's face fell and I winced. She sat straight very slowly, put her damp hands on my glass desk and her eyes stared right back at me.

"You cannot be serious" She almost whispered.

"I am most definitely serious." I frowned "Why would I have a baby? I never wanted one; you know I never had the need or wish to be a mother. Besides, it was a one-time thing, why should I miss the rest of my life because of this mistake?"

"Dear God, you're heartless!" My friend hissed, and I felt like a piece of shit "It's your baby!"

"It's a baby, but I don't have any desire to-" I chocked, my hands to my mouth.

Eva cursed as she got up to hug me. I cried for a while and had to thank my best friend to close the shutter so no one in the office could see me so fragile. She made me some tea, turned the TV on to some relaxing music, and took me to the sitting area. She waited until I had the courage to speak again.

"How can I do this, Eva?" I moaned, cleaning my tears "I'm not maternal, I don't have the time to be involved in a child's life... How can I do this?!"

"Well, you have me, for starters." She smiled, caressing my hair "And... you have Jordan."

"Don't even go there." I hissed, and she pressed her lips tight "He's just the sperm donor."

"Stop. Don't even dare to say that. He's the father, he has to know. It's his right. This is not your baby, it's his as well."

I rubbed my eyes and went back to crying some more.

"Why don't you take a few vacation days and just rest? I bet you're tired. Have you been eating fine?"

"Been sick every day." I moaned "And no, I haven't been eating very well, to be honest."

"Ok, then it's decided – you're taking a few days off."

"Ok, mom" I rolled my eyes but knew she was right.

"And we're going to an Ob/Gyn tomorrow. You need to be seen by a doctor."

"Sure thing, dear" I grinned.

"And then... You're inviting Jordan for dinner and you're going to tell him."

"I knew this was a trap..." I scowled.

***

I was sitting at the table trembling. My legs were shaking, my knees felt like Jell-O, and my palms were so sweaty I was disgusted with myself. When I'd called him earlier that morning, I felt sick to hear his very surprised and hopeful voice. Lunch, I had offered; we would meet for lunch because I felt bad by the way I... ended things. He tried to convince me to have dinner instead, no doubt to seduce me with dinner, maybe a movie and a cocktail. No can do, Mr. Marshall – no sushi, no drinking, not even a trip to the spa for a nice hot bath in the hot tub... No fun for the next eight months.

I saw him coming through the door of the pizza place, all dressed in jeans and white shirt, a leather jacket and some black trainers. His steel eyes smiled at me and I felt small. I waved, and he followed to the table I was sitting at, by the windows. Before he sat, he kissed the top of my head and I winced.

"Hey, you." He smiled, taking his jacket off "Gotta admit I didn't expect to hear back from you for the rest of my life."

"Yeah, sorry about that." I shrugged, taking a sip of my water "I didn't mean to be rude or anything... I just... It would be awkward in the morning."

"Well, it wasn't less awkward to wake up and find myself alone in my bed with nothing for an explanation other than an 'I'm sorry' note."

"Yeah... I'm sorry about that." I rubbed my temples "I'm really bad at... this..."

He chuckled, gesturing for the waiter to come over. He ordered a nice cooling beer, and I decided a carrot juice would have to do. We took a look at the menu as the relaxing summer music played in the background. I could feel Jordan's eyes on me over the menu. I eyed him, frowning. He wiggled his dark bushy brows and I had to smile at that. He was so cheeky.

"So." He declared after we placed our order and the waiter left "We are wrong for each other, have nothing in common, but we still sleep together. Then you leave again, then you ask me out..." He chuckled, rubbing his short hair "I gotta say, I've met some crazy chics, but you are the most confusing one. And definitely the sexiest."

"Well, thanks I guess." I frowned, my nails drumming on my glass "Look, this is not a trick to seduce you or anything. I'm just... I don't do well with... being chummy."

"Chummy?" He chuckled, taking a gulp of his beer "You mean, you don't do hookups of any kind."

"I despise that word" I grunted, and he laughed louder.

"God, you're great. I love it, seriously." His steel grey eyes stared into mine, piercing my brain until I was fidgeting in my seat "I told you before, I like to mess you up. When you actually relax, you're fun and sweet. I like that Violet."

I nodded, looking down at my lap. Unconsciously my hand was caressing my flat belly. I couldn't believe there was definitely a month's old baby in there. And the father was smiling right at me with that intense stare of his. I wanted to cry – fucking hormones!

"Jordan" I started, looking into the table "I called you here for a reason, and not another date."

"Oh?" He crocked a brow, intrigued "I'm listening."

"Right." I cleared my throat "So, you know... us, four weeks ago?"

"Hum... yes" He said it slowly and with a long smile; I wanted to slap him for making me shiver with desire.

"Don't do that, this is serious." I grunted, blushing "Look, I'm not good with feelings and I definitely don't have tact."

"No shit, Sherlock!" He chuckled, taking another drag of beer.

"I'm pregnant."

He actually spat his beer all over the floor. Some people around stared, and one of the waiters came by, making sure everything was fine. Jordan just nodded, wiping his beard with the napkin I handed to him. He asked the confused waiter for a scotch on the rocks – and I could hardly blame him. I wish I could've had a vodka tonic when I found out.

"Listen, I'm not here to ask for anything." I assured him, my hands up in the air as he closed his eyes and rubbed them with a pained look "I only came here because... Well, honestly? Because Eva kinda made me. I'm prepared to do everything by myself. Actually, Eva is my lawyer and we're trying to find the right paperwork to let you off the hook. This is not the conventional way to be a father, or a mother by the way; I'm more than capable of raising this child by myself. I have a career, my life is well balanced and I'm financially comfortable."

He opened his eyes to stare at me like I had suddenly grown another head. I swallowed hard, feeling intimidated.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

It was the first time I heard him be harsh – it made my skin shiver and pop goosebumps all over.

"Any two twats can make a kid."

"Jordan..." I whispered as people turned their heads again.

"It takes more than money and status to properly raise a kid. Just because you think you're very comfortable financially, doesn't make you the most capable one to do it."

"Don't even go there." I warned him, my voice turning harsh as well "I could get you buried in so much bureaucracy with my lawyers, that your grandkids would still be trying to shake the bill."

"Jesus..." He blinked, shocked "You really are harsh and uptight, aren't you?"

"I won't let anyone harm my child" I tossed, impressed at my own maternal instinct.

"That child is half mine, and I want the best for him – or her; and money isn't the only thing the little guy/girl needs" He explained, his stare intense.

I was quiet for a while, staring at my glass when the waiter came in with the food. To be honest, I wasn't hungry. I was still feeling a bit queasy, and now incredibly stressed out. I felt Jordan's hand coming over to touch mine. I let him take it, but didn't dare to look up at him.

"I know you have family, friends, the money" He started, softly, and that made me look at him "but I'm the dad. Yes, this is not the way... I imagined it, but... I'm in for the long run. Give me a chance, you might be surprised."

I frowned, considering his proposition.

"You cannot be too much." I warned him, one of my perfect manicure nails up "You can't just pop-by, and you cannot definitely try to seduce me anymore. This is serious, I could throw up all over your shirt at any time... again."

He had the nerve to grin. He pulled my finger into his mouth and bite the tip, making me shriek and slap his chin.

"No deal." He shrugged, digging into his food "I still think we'll end up getting married."

"I thought that was a joke" I tossed, squinting my eyes.

"Hum." He shrugged, happy with himself "I'm traditional. Sue me."