Jungkook POV

I stared at it as it sat on my table, just as I had been staring at for the past month.

It was just a piece of paper, and yet it seemed as though it held enough power to rip through any living being with a pulse.

I hadn't seen Taehyung for a month, nor did I know where he was or what he was doing. In the early weeks of his departure, he had called a few times, all of which I ignored and eventually he stopped calling.

People stopped asking about him, as if they knew I didn't want to talk about him and before long, it was as though he had never even walked the walls of this mansion and all the traces of him ever being were removed from sight.

I tapped my finger against the table and bit my bottom lip as I stared at it, some part of me curious about what I was going to find in there, while the other part was terrified of it.

I knew Jimin hated me enough to do what he did and maybe I just wasn't ready to read it from him. Maybe I wanted to hold onto the thought that just maybe I had been mistaken?

I sighed and leaned over, taking the letter and turning it around in my hands. I flipped it over and read my name written in his flawless handwriting. I took a deep breath and tore open the letter..

My dearest Jungkook,

If you're reading this right now, it means Taehyung had finally done something right without royally screwing it up, I mean the guy can't even make popcorn without burning it.

Unfortunately, that too means that I am dead.

In no way, is that your fault. It was a decision I made by myself and if you'd let me, I wish to explain why I made that choice.

For as long as I can remember, I had lived with hatred inside me. Hatred for those who left me, hatred for the things I couldn't change, hatred for the way I always had to do everything on my own, and in a way, when I found out that you had killed my family, I chose to direct that hate towards you. I hated you with everything that I was, and I set my plan into motion from then, without knowing the truth.

But when I met you and looked into your eyes, all I saw was fear and pain. No matter how much you tried to mask it and show everyone that you were okay, I could see and knew you weren't okay . I could feel your pain when you screamed out at night through the numerous nightmares you had. I knew the blood on your hands haunted you and I couldn't bring myself to hate you any longer.

I couldn't hate someone who only wanted to be a human surrounded by so many monsters.

Unfortunately not everyone felt as I did and before long, I figured out who the dark shadow looming over you was. The person drawing out your light and forcing you into to darkness. The person who had constantly tried to take your life. I couldn't tell you then who it was nor can I tell you now, but I am confident that you will find him and overcome him the way you were always meant to.

I know by now, you've been in doubt over my feelings for you. Jungkook, you were honestly the best thing that had ever happened to me. You made me see hope for myself when I saw nothing but darkness.

You healed the hatred in my heart and soothed it with your love. Such a power that overtook me completely. Making me question everything I had ever known. Each time you held me, felt like time had stopped. I couldn't feel the numerous conflicts around us and in those moments, it was just you and I. Forever will I sing the name of the person who changed me for the better.

You, Jungkook, are goodness. There is a light inside you that no one possesses. Never let what anyone else says, change who you are. You are not and never have been driven by hatred like I was. You are driven by what is true. To me, you are and always will be absolute perfection. I am honestly so proud and lucky to have had someone like you love me. I would never trade the priceless moments I had with you for anything else. You are and always will be my first love.

Don't be upset with Taehyung for keeping this from you. It was my wish until the end, that he protect you in the ways that I couldn't.

I have trained him where it was necessary, teaching him all that he needs to know about our world, and somehow, he managed to retain that shred of innocence. I know you've noticed it too.

Jungkook, I want you to know that my choice was not your fault. It was the only way I could keep them from suspecting you. If I had stayed, they would have harmed you. Which is why I chose Taehyung, someone they would never suspected, to stay by your side.

But just like I had asked him to protect you, I need you to protect him. The tale he had been told of our father had not been the truth, and unfortunately I paid the price for that hoping to protect Taehyung from it. My only hope is that he never finds out the truth, but that's not the way life works is it? The secrets we try to bury always has way of uncovering themselves. I can only hope that he has you then, to show him the right way and to make him strong again.

Guide and love him. Show him the goodness that you are and be his light along this dark path, just as you had been my light.

I love you now and always.

Your Jiminie..

I stared at the letter, the words becoming unclear as I blinked as watched the droplets touch the page. I could feel my fingers trembling and shaking as I held the page and brought it to my chest. I held the page like it was everything to me, and fell back against the chair.

Suddenly, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I struggled to inhale and exhale in order to get breathing my under control again, and clenched my eyes shut, trying to remember what to do when I had a panic attack, when suddenly, Taehyung's face appeared in my head as I had a quick flashback to the time I had first had a panic attack when I woke up from one of my nightmares.

(Quick Flashback to when Taehyung just arrived)

I sat upright, clutching my chest as I gasped and gripped my shirt, struggling to find my breathing when the door burst open.

I couldn't even think straight to look up and see who it was when I felt a warm hand touch my back. I closed my eyes and felt myself slowly hyperventilating as I shook.

"Shh. It's okay. Just relax. Breathe with me. " he said, I tried to focus on his voice and his choice of words that sounded so familiar.

"In. Out. Try it with me." I listened and tried to inhale with him and exhale, slowly feeling myself relax.

"Good. Once more." He said and made me look at him as I followed what he was doing and inhaled and exhaled eventually calming down.

"There. Feel better?" He asked and cocked his head to the side as if I was the most interesting thing to look at.

"Who are you?" I asked as I cleared my throat and tried to look at his face that seemed awfully familiar.

"I'm Taehyung. Your bodyguard, remember? We met briefly when I just arrived?" He said as he scratched the back of his head and smiled at me.

I didn't say anything further and told him that I was alright. He nodded and left the room after that, closing the door behind him. I laid back down, now unable to sleep again, thinking..

Where had I seen that smile before??