《Perempuan Pelupa》Bagian 24: Bertanya Kembali Pada Si Kucing
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Aku tiba di tempat favoritku. Aku melihat Felica si kucing hitam sudah menungguku didekat bangku yang biasa kugunakan untuk duduk. Lalu kubuka bekalku dan memberikan beberapa makanan kepadanya dan menaruhnya didekat pintu. Lalu aku bertanya mengenai kejadian yang kualami tadi.
"Felica, menurutmu apakah laki-laki menangis itu wajar? Karena baru kali ini aku merasakannya semenjak kejadian itu."
Lalu terdengar suara itu lagi dan menjawab pertanyaanku tersebut.
"Menurutku hal itu wajar. Memangnya apa yang terjadi?"
Aku lalu mengatakannya panjang lebar mengenai mimpiku serta rasa sedih yang kurasakan itu. Lalu suara tersebut berhenti sejenak. Lalu dia mengatakan sesuatu dengan nada bertanya.
"Apakah kamu menyukainya?"
Aku menjawabnya dengan sedikit keraguan dihatiku.
"Aku juga tak tau apakah aku menyukainya."
Lalu suara tersebut merasa agak kesal.
"Dasar, lupakan!"
Sepertinya aku pernah mendengar kata-kata itu, tapi dimana, kapan dan siapa? Suara tersebut melanjutkan pembicaraannya itu.
"Menurutku kamu harus mencari sendiri jawabannya. Kamu tak akan mendapatkannya hanya dengan mendengarkan perkataanku ini."
Aku berfikir sejenak tentang perkataanya tersebut. Dan aku mencoba untuk memahami situasiku saat ini. Dan aku mulai berfikir secara logika. Lalu aku berkata pada Felica mengenai pemikiranku ini.
"Mungkin saja aku ada rasa sedikit cemburu antara Nia dan Hendra. Tapi sepertinya, perasaan itu memang perasaan manusia pada umumnya. Dan menurutku, hal itu wajar meskipun kenyataannya aku tak menyukai Nia."
Suara tersebut hanya diam tak menjawab apa yang ku katakan. Lalu dia mengatakan sesuatu dengan nadanya yang sedikit kesal.
"Kamu tau manusia? Mereka yang menyukai kesendiriannya itu, lebih memilih untuk membohongi dirinya sendiri meskipun itu menyakitkan."
Lagi-lagi aku disadarkan oleh sesuatu tentang diriku. Namun aku masih saja membantahnya. Aku hanya terdiam akan perkataanya itu. Apa salahnya bila aku menyukai kesendirianku? Apakah itu salah? Setidaknya hal itu tak merugikan untuk orang lain kan? Ku elus kepalanya dengan perasaanku yang sekarang sudah lebih baik dan melanjutkan makanku.
Setelah selesai makan, kubereskan bekalku dan air minumku. Dan tak lupa untuk menyapa Felica sebelum aku kembali kekelas.
"Kalau begitu aku duluan dulu ya Felica. Terima kasih."
Lagi-lagi suara tersebut tidak menjawabnya.
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