Dear diary, I'm tired. It's my birthday, I gave up on the idea of a party, it's hard to celebrate when it feels like life is weighing you down, and won't let up. Pastor Young, and Sheriff Forbes have been conducting investigations for almost a week since the Miss Mystic Falls pageant when April died. Rebekah murdered her. And I know what you're thinking, it's totally illegal for the victims parents to be involved in the investigation. That's called a conflict of interest, but that's what happens when you're the town's Sheriff and your only child is a vampire who happens to be closely related to vampires. Poor Liz, she's trying to protect us all, lie to Pastor young about his daughter, and do her job. On top of that Tyler's mom is also dead, no one knows where to start with that one, it seemed almost random. And since no one is going to investigate, I will, Damon told me not to get involved. When have I ever listened to anything he's told me?

-Blaise

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I wake up shooting from my bed, racing to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I hurle up my dinner from last night. Blood violently shot from my mouth, which made me throw up all over again. I hold my breath and quickly flush the toilet so I won't have to look at it again. Damon slides into the bathroom, his eyebrows pinched together, a worried expression on his face.

"Happy Birthday to me." I grunt sitting back on the floor, what a wonderful start to my day...at least I'm not throwing up because I'm pregnant. I wish it was that simple though.

"So are we gonna talk-" Damon starts, but I cut him off

"Absolutely not." I say, I didn't have words for what I just saw, nor did I know how to explain my feelings about it. Damon sighed hard, I know he was fed up with me bottling it all up. I don't know what to tell him, but talking about it is going to make me feel worse at the moment.

"Can you just try, this is the third time you woke up like this." Damon stepped forward to sit on the tub beside me, he took his hand in mine kissing my knuckles. I feel so bad shutting down on him like this. I groan leaning forward, my stomach feels like it's being tied in knots.

"Tyler's mom is dead, April Young is dead,and Klaus' stupid ritual is in a few days. I have things to do, my friends need me more than ever, especially Bonnie. She can't do this without me, and Tyler is the wolf Klaus chose to turn for the ritual. He's scared, and I can't blame him, my shit has to wait." I said slowly getting up, I wobbled a bit at first, I quickly latched onto the sink. Damon stands quickly grabbing onto me, and we just stand there like this.

"Blaise...it's your birthday for one, and for two; I told you not to go and get involved in Tyler's mess." Damon said, his voice soft, whispering so low; if I didn't have vampire hearing I'd have no idea what he was saying. I was going to hate myself for how I was about to act, but it had to be done to create some separation.

"Tyler's mess? Mess? Damon his mother died, no she was murdered, the only parent he had left. I can't let him go through what I went through, I won't stand around, and watch someone else suffer." I may have gone a bit overboard, but it was some truth in my words, I haven't really grieved over my own parents, and now knowing I wasn't even the one that killed them makes it worse.

I pushed him away with the little strength that I had, and Damon let me go. He doesn't understand, no one does, and when I try to explain the words just get caught in my throat. I'm not sure if it's because I give up on wanting to explain, or if I like suffering.

I pulled a random pair of sweatpants, and a t-shirt, I didn't bother to put much effort into how I looked. I grabbed a pair of keys from the dresser, when I got downstairs, I see Stefan putting candles on a cake; he freezes when he sees me. Bonnie quickly lights the candles using her magic, they look up at me with a wide grin.

"Happy Birthday- "

"Surprise- uh Birthday!" Bonnie, and Stefan said at the same time, I rolled my eyes. I was not in the mood to celebrate, and I wanted to cry, hard. My eyes were on the verge of tears, I swallowed hard, I really didn't want to cry. At least not in front of them. I was angry, and sad, and stressed, but I just felt the need to suck it all up. I tried to make it through the door, but of course Damon is faster than me. He grabbed onto my arm,

"Gotta be quicker than that little one. Now don't be a brat, we went through all this trouble, could you just try. That's all I ask." Damon's eyebrows pulled upward, such a contrast to his pale blue eyes. One would think such a combination wouldn't be as appealing, but on him, it's what pulled you in.

"You guys-" I didn't even get the whole sentence out before I burst into tears. I felt Damon behind me, his cold pale hands wrapping around my shoulder gently. He guides me into the kitchen where Bonnie, and Stefan are standing at the kitchen island.

"Wow, look who's old now." Stefan casually throwing an arm around my shoulder, I let out a breathy laugh, a few tears falling down my cheeks.

"Make a wish Blaise." Bonnie brought the cake up to my face, I paused and looked at her. I take a moment to think about what I wanted, it was just a birthday wish, but I wanted to make it count. I take in a breath, blow out the candles, and a gust of wind blows through the house. We all look around for a second, a strong chill shoots down my spine. I ignore it, taking the cake from Bonnie, and sitting it back down. Damon puts a hand on my lower back lightly drumming his fingers.

"You guys...this means so much to me, after having one shitty moment after the other, you start to feel like it's only happening to you. I've always felt so alone, and sad, and miss understood. I realize just now how selfish I've been, I didn't see how loved I was because I've been too busy trying to help everyone else all while ignoring my own problems. I haven't celebrated a birthday since I was 8....I'm so glad I have you guys." I cried through the whole speech, Damon held my left hand; while Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline all held my right hand squeezing tightly. Tears streamed down my face, I was hiccuping a bit, Damon squeezed me so tight that he's actually crushing me a bit. I let him, I needed it, the pressure of us pressed together felt good.

"We've got your back Blaise, you don't have to do any of this alone, that's what real family does. You guys are like my sisters." Elena said she was now crying as well, her long brunette hair tucked behind her ears. Caroline wraps her long arms around us all bringing the four of us into a big group hug. As the shortest one in the group, somehow I get pushed into Elena's boobs, and I can't help but grin. She smelled like a warm summer's spring, like fresh flowers. I have never felt more fortunate in my life, not just because I'm face first in my friends tits, but just to be embraced by so much love.

"Alright that's enough you pervert, get off my girlfriend." Elena giggles, and Stefan grabs onto my shoulder pulling me off Elena. I turn to see Damon pushing in a pile of warped gifts, I feel the tear rolling all over again, this was more than I could ask for really.

"We wanna open gifts now, and then we're going out later, and you can't say no." Caroline demands, her arms folded, I sniffle a little, wiping away tears. Bonnie hands me a tissue.

"You got it boss." I say to Caroline, her face shocked by my answer.

"Wow I think we broke her guys." Caroline says sitting on a kitchen stool. Damon picks a gift off the top and hands it to me, Elena puts a birthday hat on my head. Stefan gets in front of me with a video camera, she waits for me to open the present in my hands.

"Okay this is from Elena...awe shit, aren't you guys tired of making me cry."

In a wooden picture frame; was me, Caroline, Elena, and Bonnie in a circle holding hands around a baby tree. We swore to protect that tree with our life, and protect each other if someone tried to move against us. It's was so stupid at the time. Looking back at that memory, I realized how important that promise was, how important our friendship is. There was an engraving on the bottom of the frame, Damon nudged me with his hip.

"Read it out loud." Damon said

"Protecting the things we love, since 2004, oh gosh guys." Elena grinned down at me proudly, she threw her long arms around my neck from behind me, she placed a big kiss on my cheek.

"Honestly, you all, I don't know how much I can take today." I was a sobbing mess, Damon picked up a giant box with a blanket covering it. He gently sets it on the kitchen island in front of me, Damon brings one slender pale finger up to his lips. "Shhhh." He says softly, we all get quiet, no one moves, I even stopped breathing. He pulled the baby pink blanket off the box slowly, when he pulled it all the way off we all gasped in excitement. Under the blanket was a cage with the tiniest baby kitten inside, I was crying all over again.

"Oh my gosh, Damon stop, I cannot right now." I slowly approach the cage, the cat lets out a soft meow, I pause not wanting to scare it.

"It's a baby girl, she doesn't have a name yet, drove all the way up north to get her. She was the smallest one in the litter, and the last one." Damon said putting his finger in the cage, the little kitten rubbed herself against his cool fingers purring.

I opened the cage, when her blue eyes locked with mine I felt this strange feeling, as if she was going to open up her mouth any moment and speak words. She came out of the cage slowly, when I extended my hand to her, she rubbed her face in my palm. She was pouring so hard, I could feel her vibrating through her small rib cage.

"What do you want your name to be huh baby? Should your name be Lurch? Or are you a Dark Lord?." I cooed at her, she just meowed back at me, Bonnie, and Elena came from the other side and both started petting her. The little white kitten laid out on the kitchen island and basked in all the attention she was receiving. "I don't know, maybe you should name her Luna, you do like Sailor Moon right? And your moon sign is Cancer like the Usagi's zodiac, plus you have magical powers." Bonnie offered, and the little kitten meowed, I raised an eyebrow at the little ball of fur taking her into my hands.

"Yea but Luna is a black cat." I say slightly disappointed, Damon leans onto the counter top.

"You can still name her Luna, because she's white, and beautiful like the moon." Damon suggested, the little snow fur ball meowed a bit louder.

"Did you like that name honey? Do you wanna be called Luna?" I asked. I looked at her in her beautiful blue eyes, and she meowed back at me as if it was confirmation.

"Well, I like the name Luna, it fits her." Damon nods his head in approval, I smile up at him, he gives and I kisses on the forehead.

"Thank you, I love her, probably more than you." I say grinning. He rolls his eyes, before he could reply; the doorbell rings, I hear three heart beats, then I hear Matt's deep voice from the other end of the door.

"Seriously dude, just don't say, or do anything dumb. I know how hard that is for you, but just try okay meat head?" Damon chuckles at Matt's words, he speeds over to the door before I could move. He opens the door grinning, he steps aside to let the three young men in.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Donavan is right Jeremy, I'd hate to have murder my ex girlfriend's baby brother on my current girlfriends birthday." Damon sounded like he was joking, but I know he was serious.

"Damon, please stop, like seriously we get it. We're messy, don't milk it." I say annoyed, I hug Matt absentmindedly, I was trying to see who the other person was. When he came around the corner I nearly threw Matt out the way.

"Tyler!" I shout, believe it or not, Tyler and I were actually great friends. It took some growing on his part, but he's actually got a heart of gold. He reached out to gently rub a finger on Lina's little head, she meowed in response.

"I couldn't miss seeing you crying your eyes out all afternoon, you're my best friend." Tyler wrapped his muscular arms around me, I put Luna on the table for a second, she found interest in Caroline's glittering bracelets. I squeezed him as tight as I could. He squeezed back just as hard, when he pulled away, he looked me in my brown eyes. My lip quivers a bit at the thought of his mom Carol Lockwood, he nods his head in understanding.

"I know, it's okay...I'm gonna be okay." His voice was low, Damon was watching while he cut a slice of cake. I don't look away from Tyler, he was like a brother to me, and Damon understood that.

"Now that I am here, you have to open our presents now. Since I'm the one with the most money...that means, I got the best gift." Tyler announced loudly, his arrogance showing, everyone in the room groaned,

"It's not a competition, man." Matt said, eating a slice of cake.

"He knows we're older than him, we've been inheriting our families money for years." Stefan mumbles, Matt shrugs his shoulders, stuffing more cake in his mouth.

"Of course not, because you all are so broke, you couldn't even compete with me. Now the best gift, for my bestest friend." I couldn't help but snort at his proclamation, he's such a show off, it's always too funny for me to handle.

Tyler sits a long box down in front of me, I give him a confused look, Stefan still has the camera in his hand documenting every moment. I have a feeling that's going to come around and bite me in the future. I will allow it for now though.

"Well...open it, I will wait for your shocked facial expression." Tyler bragged again, we all rolled our eyes, I tore into the gift wrapping, and I sucked in my breath. I didn't think anyone would remember, that time in my life was so short lived. My eyes well up with tears again, someone's hand offers me another tissue, and I take it seeing it's Tyler himself. I would have laughed if I wasn't already crying so hard

"You still owe me a performance, Beanie." Tyler called me by one of my old childhood nicknames, inside the box was a red electric bass guitar. I took it out of the box for a moment; it was a gorgeous, fabulous, ruby red, metallic color. "Tyler...this is...amazing." Tyler lips curled into a shit eating grin, we fist bumped like bros.

"Yup, I know...unfortunately the amp I ordered isn't here yet, but I'll get it to you once it arrives." Tyler explained, Stefan handed the camera to Elena.

"All right, I'm next. Elena, hold my camera, show em how a real best friend gives a present." Stefan said, and that's how the rest of the afternoon went, opening one present after the other. I set back watching everyone trying to enjoy this scene right here, Luna snuggles up beside me purring happily. I wished this moment could last forever

ꕥꕥꕥꕥ

Apparently Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline wanted to take me out for dinner. Though I wasn't allowed to dress myself, nor was I allowed to know what they were picking out for me. So they covered all the mirrors in the house, so I decided to go along with their little game. Damon would poke his head in every once in a while and kiss me, then the girls would shoo him away.

Luna laid on a pile of my clothes near a window. I could tell that was going to be her favorite spot from now on, I just smiled at her as she slowly nodded off to sleep.

By the time 8:30 pm rolled around, they were finally done. I still was not allowed to look at myself, when we went downstairs Damon was waiting in the living room, surprisingly watching Sailor Moon. Bless his heart for trying to understand me more, Luna comes to sit on the stairs watching us from above. I stick my tongue out at her, she paws the air at me going into a stretching position.

"Well don't you look edible." Damon wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.