Iris Pov

It's around 1 in the morning before everyone finally leaves, closing the front door I can't help but release a heavy sigh.

The night had gone pretty well to some extent, the only trouble being at one point whilst we were playing Truth or Dare and downing our fourth or fifth glass of wine that Lila had been dared to kiss the most attractive man in the room and of course kissed Luca much to my annoyance.

I mean seriously she could have kissed Estevon or even Nikolai. Gosh, I wanted to strangle her.

"Exhausted?" Luca inquires a handsome lopsided grin on his face.

"Extremely." I mumble, pouting at him with sleepy eyes.

He chuckles, strolling over and scooping me up into his arms, bridal style, laying my head against his chest, I willing allow him to carry me up to our bedroom.

He opens the door and walks in, kicking it shut behind us and placing me down on the large king sized bed, I reach for the hem of my sweater and lazily pull it over my head.

☕️🦄 ⚠️❗️⚠️☕️🦄

"Cazzo." He curses his eyes roaming my body with a thirsty and lustful look.

"What?" I question, tilting my head to the side and licking my lips as I mentally undress the sex god before me.

Dear Gods.

"Don't act innocent with me, amore, you know what you're doing to me." He purrs, kneeling on the edge of the bed, a hand gripping my jaw gently as he presses his soft lips on to mine in a sweet and passionate kiss.

He bites down on my lower lip drawing a moan from deep within me. I pull him close as he kisses me with fervour, his tongue slipping into my mouth and fighting with my own, in a battle of dominance.

Of course I let him win.

His hands travel my body, every touch sending a erotic pulse down to my already weeping core.

He takes my hand and guides it to his pants, making me cup him. "Cristo, this is what you do to me." He growls against my lips making me swallow hard. "You have no idea how hard I want to take you right now."

And you have no idea how hard I want you to take me right now.

Oh hush, you perverted mind.

"God, yes." I moan as he rubs me through my panties.

He whispers fiercely in my ear, a mischievous smirk spreading across his lips. "Be a good girl and scream for me princess."

✨

I am completely spent as I lay my head against Luca's chest, the man who is currently toying with my hair.

We're both naked, skin to skin, wrapped in each other's arms barely covered by his thick blanket.

Luca coos soft Italian and I listen as the beautiful melodic words roll off his tongue. Hand over his heart I smile at its rhythmic thump.

"Iliana." My smile falters as the name falls from his lips.

"Who?" I furrow my brows in confusion, lifting my head slightly to look at his face.

Did he just call me another woman's name?

"Iliana, my sister's name was Iliana." He mumbles absentmindedly, twirling a lock of hair around his finger and quickly clearing up my confusion.

"I didn't know you had a sister." I murmur pursing my lips, annoyed at myself for being so quick to get upset and never asking about him.

As if he'd give me the answers anyway.

"Not many people knew about her, she died a long while back." His voice it was flat and devoid of all emotions yet at the same time it wasn't. It was as if through the clipped words I could feel and hear his pain.

"What happened to her?" I whisper soft and sympathetic. My eyes sought his but he didn't look at me, more fixated with toying with my hair.

"She died from terminal cancer on the eve of Christmas." He ground out through gritted teeth. "When she was 18." He finally looks up at me, his orbs connecting with mine.

A shaky breath escapes me and I can't help but feel Luca's pain grip my heart like a vice, it was like my heart was in a bear trap and with every passing minute of staring into his eyes it squeezed and bled for him.

I could understand now why Christmas wasn't a big celebration for him.

"W-what was she like?" I finally ask, it was soft question in the quiet room.

He smiles fondly. ".....On first impression my older sister was an angel and she was however deep down she was a cunning brat, used to manipulate my dad into giving her anything she wanted. He loved her, his first born, his only daughter."

"Ana always had one of the biggest smiles on her face and saw the the silver lining of all things even when there wasn't any. It was admirable." He cracks a grim smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "She used to be best friends with Nikolai and they did everything together, including teasing Me, Estevon and Ezra. She used to annoy the shit out of me like siblings do but she and I were close, very close." His voice is brimmed with adoration and his face bright with the memory of his late sister.

"I didn't know you all were childhood friends." I say to which he nods with a smile.

He continues. "Yeah we were all childhood friends. We all grew up together like a family. They loved Iliana and she loved them. Ana, she understood everyone, she understood me. She understood why I couldn't take over the family business. Understood when I just couldn't. Understood when even I didn't. Ana was always there for me even when I couldn't even glance into mirror because I-"

Because what?!

He stops himself, his hands stilling in my hair, shaking his head of his thoughts he continues toying with my hair but says no more.

I don't question him though, it seems whatever it was he had to say was too big and too painful to utter out loud. I didn't push it even though my curiosity gnawed at me. I didn't push him. I didn't want him to hurt.

Even though it killed me to know.

"She sounds like a wonderful person, Luca." I smile, propping my self up on my elbows and looking down at him.

"Yeah, she was."

Laying my head once again against his warm chest, I wrap my arms around him and he sighs contented. I cuddle into him as I bask in the security and comfort of his arms until very soon I descended into darkness.

✨

I can't tell you how much I love waking up next to Luca, he's like a giant muscular bed warming teddy bear. Damn, it isn't about the sex anymore for me, personally I've grown to love every side and shade of him.

The sex is really good too.

I just couldn't help it, I didn't want to fight it because to be honest I never stood a chance, I mean seriously how could I not have fallen for him.

His charming smile makes my heart beat a mile a minute and when he glances down at me with his hazel eyes it makes the damn butterflies flutter around absurdly in my stomach.

He makes me nervous and jittery like I'm some teenager all over again, it's the way he just buys me random heartfelt gifts and showers me with his attention and adoration. He made me feel like the only girl in the world, special.

Fucking hell, I am officially in love with Luca Donario, stupidly and utterly so.

Beyond indeed that cold exterior is really an amazing man. I had been right there was good in him.

And again the sex is fucking exhilarating.

"Hello, earth to Iris." Lila waves her hand in front my face.

Crashing back to earth, I blink and suddenly I'm transported back to the hipster like coffee shop, Lé cafe we sat in, Lila and I that is.

"I'm here, I'm here." I roll my eyes with a slight flush, fanning her hand away.

Reaching her hand back to her side, she scrunches her nose. "What's got you all smiles?" She teases, a grin on her face.

"Nothing." I hiss though I can't deny the creeping loopy smile off my face.

"Bullshit." She replies, sipping her chai latte with a roll of her vivid green eyes.

Green eyes.

"It's just that...." I trail off, twirling my straw around."Okay so, I may," Lila lifts her tea cup up to her lips. "be a teeny tiny bit in love with Luca." I profess, eying her warily

Almost immediately she splutters, sending scalding hot coffee all over me. Squeaking in pain, I hastily grab at napkins looking at the spot on my dress.

"Fuck." She curses loudly, grabbing a napkin and drying herself. "I'm sorry, Iris." She apologizes profusely, wringing her hands.

"It's okay." I send her a shaky smile as I wipe away the mess. Thankfully I don't think I've received any burns.

"I just....I was just a little shocked you know." I glance at her taking in her expression, her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. "So, you're in love with Luca that's great, really. I'm happy for you." She didn't sound happy though or maybe it was just me.

"Thanks, Lila." I push a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Mhmmm." She hums, sipping her now almost empty cup of coffee.

There was an awkward silence. Both of us avoiding each other's eye, I felt like we were strangers and not best friends.

"So uhm how's things going at the office?" She clears her throat, breaking our silence, thankfully.

"Really good, actually. I've had a couple more clients here and there. I'm actually going there right after this." I tell her, bringing my eyes back to hers.

"Gosh, life is going fantastic for you isn't it." She grins beaming at me. "How about the orphanage, how's things there?"

"Well, since the whole James ordeal I haven't been there in a while but Grace updates on everything." I shrug, drinking my French vanilla latte and cringing at the excess sweetness as I near the bottom.

"That's pretty nice of Grace." Lila says waving a waitress over.

Dramatically she exaggerates a fake British accent. "Iris, my dear friend I'm afraid I must take my leave. I have a 11:30 meeting with a woman's vagina."

Always so dramatic this one.

I snort loudly and roll my eyes, Lila pays the waitress for our brunch and stands up, doing a royal wave and flipping her hair back exaggeratingly.

"Toodles, my drunk in love friend." She blows me a kiss and saunters out like a model on a runway with her hips swaying and a sassy face.

I shake my head, rolling my eyes at my friend, gathering my stuff I place them into my bag leaving a twenty dollar note on the cafe's table as a tip.

I leave the cafe and drive to my office which with New York's traffic takes me a whole hour, parking my car in my designated space. Hopping out, I lock the doors pulling my bag over my shoulder and walking over to the front door. The cold biting at my ass.

Why the hell didn't I pick something warmer?

Reaching out for the silver door handle, I tug the door open and stroll into the lobby where I see a bustling Ellen.

"Hey El." I smile, digging through my bag as the heater warms my freezing derrière.

"Mrs. Donario.... there's a Dr. Oaks here to see you." She fidgets nervously. "He says he's from the New York's Board Of Psychology."

Dr. Oaks? New York's Board Of Psychology?

I glance over at her with a quizzical look on my face and turn on my heel, walking briskly to my office. Once I get there I smooth my hair and dress down, I frown at the spot, pushing the door open I see a smartly dressed balding man that sat with his beer gut on the couch surveying the room and hitting something down.

"Dr. Oaks?" I question, raising a brow.

Obviously, dumbass.

"Dr. Harding, how are you?" he greets, getting to his feet and walking over to my desk.

"I'm doing great, thank you for asking sir. May I get you anything?" I ask, taking a seat as does the same in front of me and assuming a hopefully good stoic face.

"No, thank you." he has a tight grin on his face and he huffs out a breath. "I'm actually here for business purpose."

"Oh." I give him an inquiring look.

"Dr. Harding, I'm sorry to say but your licences are being...revoked." He states, a hard stern expression on his face.

I gape at him. "I'm sorry but on what grounds are my licenses being revoked on?" I narrow my eyes with pursed lips.

"....Look, there have been reports of you being under the influence of alcohol while with clients and we took a closer look at your records and we saw some .....illegal activites." He informs me, eying me with such disdain.

"Illegal activities." I spit the words out, as I listen flabbergasted to all the ludicrous things he says. "And these illegal activities, what are they?"

"Let's see," He reaches into the jacket of his suit and pulls from it a paper, quickly he drops down and picks up a small, crisp white card that fell out accidentally before clearing his throat and putting it away.

"Money laundering and criminal accomplice. Uh...we'll also be taking a closer look at your criminal record." He reads as he stands.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I slam my hands against the table, my temper rising. "That's all fucking bullshit."

Dr. Oaks eyes widen and he clears his throat, fidgeting with his ugly striped tie. "Dr-"

"Get out." I seethe, glaring daggers at him.

"Dr-"

I had heard enough.

"Get out!" I shout in finality, flying up from my seat.

Dr. Oaks gives me one last scared glance before scurrying out quickly and closing the door behind him.

I plop down into my chair, breathing hard.

No, this wasn't happening.

I can't understand how something I've worked so hard for is just being ripped away from me under false evidence.

Frustrated, I shove everything off my desk, slamming my hands down with a bang. I cradle my head in my hands as the feeling to sob and scream becomes irresistible.

Fucking 4/5 years down the toilet. Wasted.

Rising out of my chair, I pull myself over to the liquor cabinet, down on my knees I go to pull out a bottle of vodka that I so desperately need.

I screw the top off and lift the bottle to my lips, the burning liquid coursing through my veins like a poison. I drink until I can't stand up properly. I drink until I can't tell my left from my right and I drink until my body is practically begging me to stop.

Then I'm not sure what happened. Everything turned into a hazy. The hours and the dialogue with El to go home. Hazy. Daisy. Paisley.

A laugh bubbles from my lips before turning into a hiccup.

The constant buzz, buzz, buzzing of my phone draws me out of my drunken daydreams, groaning annoyed I glance over at the illuminated screen that brightens the dark, shadowed room.

11:40 pm.

Friday, December 15

Rubbing at my face with a hand I wasn't sure was mine and that I could barely control, I sigh pissy as the sound of someone bang, bang, banging furiously on the front door becomes so unbearable.

Un-bear-able. What a funny word. How can a bear be able?

Sitting up with a slight stagger, I sway to my feet, cursing at the floor that seemed to not want to cooperate with me.

Accidentally I kick the bottle of Jack at my feet it falls over and shatters, I would have wept if who ever who was outside didn't stop beating the door down.

R.i.p Jack, I shall bring you the prettiest flowers I find.

I wobble down the hallway and out to the cleared out reception area, grabbing onto the desk as I feel myself falter. Curse you floor. I fucking own you and you dare make me almost fall.

This is war.

"Iris!" the person continues, pounding even louder on the door.

"I'm coming, hold your fucking horses." I growl with a slur, glaring hard at the person behind the frosted glass.

Finally, the floor stops swaying and I make it to the door, yanking it open to find a man, yes a familiar blurry man.

Blinking, the blurriness clears up and I see handsome, handsome Luca standing in the freezing rain, soaked to the very bone yet he doesn't shudder or shiver, incredible. The angry man steps inside and his eyes run over me as if checking for any booboos when he gathers none he narrows his hazels at me.

"Why the hell haven't you been picking your phone up?" he asks, his jaw clenched.

"M-maybe I don't want to talk with anyone. Duh." I slur sassily, crossing my arms over my chest.

Suddenly, before I can blink Luca steps forward and grips my jaw, bringing his face closer to mine, I watch as his nostrils flare dangerously.

He was very attractive up close.

So pretty.

"You're drunk." He states, letting go of my jaw.

"No shit Sherlock." I snort. A blond, not blond, blind man could have guessed that.

Luca narrows his eyes at me and sucks in a breath. "You're lucky you're drunk amore or I swear I'd bend you over my knee right now."

Such empty threats.

Rolling my eyes at him, something that puts me off balance for a few seconds. I turn on my heel and go back into my office with a ticked off Luca trailing behind me.

"Mind the glass." I plop down onto the couch and grab a bottle of Brandy off the coffee table.

Hello, Brandy, I'm Iris.

As I'm about to introduce Brandy and I fully, the bottle is yanked from my hand. "Amore, I think you've had enough to drink." He glowers.

How rude. I didn't have enough to drink. I'd barely drank anything.

"Give it back." I hiccup with a whine, reaching to grab it back from him. Luca throws the bottle across the room resulting in it smashing upon impact against the wall. I wince.

"You id-" I'm cut off by Luca pushing me down with ease onto the couch with him hovering above me.

"Tell me what happened, dolcezza." He demands. "Please." He softens pleading, his hand caressing my cheek gently, soberness settling in.

"I..." I can't finish my sentence.

"I can help you. Tell me so I can help you, amore." He says.

"They, they revoked it." I stutter out finally, my words as shaky as my breathing, tears welling up in my eyes as I try squeezing them back. But failing.

"Revoked what, dolcezza?" Luca asks impatient, his face clouded with worry and confusion.

"My license, Luca." A cry leaves my lips. "They took it."

Luca's large arms cradle me in an instant as I sob, letting my defenses against my emotions crumble. He says nothing just holds me, allowing me to cry into his already rain soaked shirt that was cold from the A/C.

At some point while bawling my eyes out, Luca flipped us so that he was on the bottom and I was laying on top of him.

It was a kind of awkward position as the couch is so tiny but we made it work.

"They said I'm involved with....illegal activities, i.e. money laundering and being a criminal accomplice."

I stare off into the vast darkness, my head pounding from all the crying I've done not to mention the liquor. "I mean I'm a fucking therapist isn't my job to be people's private confidante and you know be there 'accomplice'. Not that I'm saying I've been dealing with criminal clients."

Luca who's playing with my hair stalls his movements and sighs heavily before resuming his actions.

"They're also considering taking a look at my criminal records....which may I say is almost spotless." I say, squirming slightly in my position on top of him. Trying to find a comfortable spot.

"Almost?" Luca inquires, sounding a little amused.

"I may or may not have been in jail for assault." I mutter with a grimace, to me it was horrible but nope it was amusing to Luca who laughs loudly.

"Esuberante." His laughter comes to an end and I roll my eyes at him, a tiny smile tugging at my lips.