"You're such a dirtbag," I flinched, trying to push Kevin's hand away from the water. He laughed, flicking me with the water. "I'll actually toss you in there."

"You can't even push me." He taunted, a daring smile on his face.

"Yes I can." I tried pushing Kevin with my hands against his chest but he didn't budge. What the hell? I tried again and he still didn't move. He only laughed at my attempts, looking down at the river. We were beside the park and I could hear the sound of people playing basketball at the court pretty close to here.

I saw Kevin glance at them, a small smile coming to his face at the sight. I never really took in how much he loves basketball. He'd been playing it his whole life. And he was good at it. Really good. I figured he would want to play what he loved for the rest of his life.

"You're going to a school for basketball, right?" I blurted out.

Kevin's eyebrows furrowed at the mention of school, of post-secondary. We've never really spoken about it before and my curiosity got the best of me. His eyes flickered around my face. "Um, yeah, I'm going to school in America for ball. It's better exposure."

"When did you decide on that?"

"Since grade eleven. A lot of schools have kept an eye on me," He didn't sound like he was bragging. He was stating a fact. His eyes go back to the water. "What about you?"

"I'm staying around here," I told him. I was going to a university a couple hours away from home. "So you're leaving?"

"That's always been the plan, S."

"It's going to be weird not seeing you so often." I mumbled.

Kevin laughed, the sound clear and amazing. "Don't tell me that you're going to miss me, are you S?"

I rolled my eyes, moving to walk alongside the river. Kevin caught up beside me. "You're going to miss me?"

"Are you going to miss me?" I retorted.

He wagged a finger in my face. "No, no, don't play that game. I asked you first."

"And I asked you second. I'm glad we're stating the obvious."

Kevin grinned, staring at me with some type of astonishment in his eyes that sent my heart in a frenzy. "You're so difficult sometimes."

I started walking towards a grass hill. When we reached the top, I sat down on the grass, feeling the sun's warmth on my skin. It was one of those spring days; slight breeze, the perfect warmth. There were only a couple of clouds in the sky and then there was Kevin who took a seat next to me. He let himself lie down on the glass, his eyes closed.

I stared at him from my seated position. From his hair to his nose, his closed eyes, his longer than should be eyelashes, to the faint stubble on his cheeks that struggled to hide the little blush on his skin, to his lips.

I didn't realize I was staring at the boy that made me want to trace my index finger along his features. To probably stare at him for a long time, to run my fingers through his hair, to kiss him.

"S?" He suddenly said and I shook myself out of my daze.

"Yeah?"

His eyes opened, completely unaware that I had been admiring him. "I asked, how's Raina? I didn't get to ask on Friday. Did you guys talk?"

"We did. We're pretty good right now. I didn't realize that we could just talk and everything can come out. Every misunderstanding could be spoken about and we're finally back to where we used to be just older. I missed her."

"I'm sure she missed you too." Kevin reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers together. I raised a hand to my face to hide the smile that was creeping upon my mouth.

"Oh and she likes you."

"What?"

"Like as a person not like you like you," If my sister was into the guy I was into I wouldn't even know how to react. "And my dad asked again when you're coming over next."

"I should've told you to tell him later today."

"So you can make it?"

"Yeah, my mom's working late and it'd be nice not to eat alone."

Alone. Kevin's mom worked a lot of hours and he was an only child. He was probably alone often. "You're always welcomed at our house."

Kevin softly smiled at me. "I don't want to intrude when I'm not invited."

"You wouldn't be."

"That's how it feels like though. Like whenever I go over to Hayden's or he invites me to stay over I feel like I'm intruding."

"Kevin..." I laid down beside him, our hands still linked. "You're not a burden. Do Hayden's parents like you?"

"Yeah, they call me their second son considering Hayden is the only son with five sisters-"

"Five. Wow."

Kevin laughed. "I know."

"If they call you you're second son then you're good. They like you. You're not an intrusion. And my family likes you too," I stared at Kevin for a second longer. "Where would you even get the idea that you're a burden or something?"

The slight smile on Kevin's face completely slips off and he takes his hand out of mine. My heart beats in anticipation, my mind thinking that he is going to completely pull away from me. That for the first time he isn't going to say anything about the topic.

But doesn't pull away. Instead, his hand reaches up towards my face. His fingers cup my cheek, his eyes bearing into my own. "My dad."

"What?" That word comes out from my lips in a whisper. Kevin and I have spoken about a lot of things. A lot. But his dad is one topic I never touch on.

"I was a mistake at the time. I wasn't supposed to be born. My parents loved each other but my father didn't want to be a dad. But my mom wanted me and I was born, she claims it to be the great day of her life. I believe that my mom loves me unconditionally and wanted me to grow up with a father which is why she let him stay. She made him stay. But he hated me."

How?"Why?"

"I took my mom's attention. She loved me more than anything. He didn't like that. He would tell me that he hated me more than anything. He let out some of his anger on me."

When I realized what Kevin meant, the sunny and bright weather didn't matter anymore. The graveness in his voice as I could tell he was remembering made me move closer to him and wrap my arms around his chest.

There was a moment of silence between us and he shifted, my body on top of his and his hand in my curly hair. I laid my head on his chest, feeling the vibration of his voice as he continue speaking, "When my mom witnessed one of the times he let his anger out on me, she kicked him out. She stopped loving him and I knew it hurt her. But then, after years- I was twelve when I found he died. Alcohol poisoning."

My lips parted in shock at that and I looked up at Kevin, he was staring back at me with expressionless eyes. He shrugged. "It was kind of a shock. Um, I cried. A lot. I mean he was horrible to me but at the end of the day he was still my dad and I-I had to feel something. I caught my mom crying that night and the next couple of weeks was a little off but then we returned back to normal. So sometimes I feel like a burden. I know what it feels like to be unwanted and I go to that conclusion sometimes."

"But you're not," I told him, shifting upward. At this point I was straddling him, my forearms on either side of his head as I tried to get my point across. "I'm sorry your dad died. I'm sorry he was so horrible to you. That he didn't want you. Which sucks because you're a really great person-"

He made a face. "You really think so?"

"Don't try to trick me into compliment you. I'm just stating an objective. He missed out, Kevin. He did. Everyone around you likes you and does not think you're a burden despite what you think. Okay?"

Kevin moved up from his lying down position. He held me so I was sitting on his lap, my legs on either side of his legs this time and his hands on my back. "Okay." He whispered and I noticed his eyes flicker from my lips then back to my eyes.

"Not even on me were you a burden," I whispered back. "You were a little annoying at first," He laughed. "But weren't a problem. You weren't really unwanted."

"And now?"

And now I really wanted to kiss him.

Fuck.

His eyes were already on my lips and I moved my hands to his hair, staring at him like I wanted to, running my hand through his hair like I wanted to. Kevin's eyes fell shut and he put his face in the crook of my neck. I felt the pressure of his lips against my neck and I held in a gasp.

He pressed another kiss to the other side of my neck, then to my chin, my cheek before hovering over my mouth. His voice came out in a whisper. "I'm going to ask and I'm really hoping that I get a good answer."

"Ask." I told him, my mind heavy from the proximity.

Kevin grinned, his hand on my neck, his thumb brushing across my lips. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Can I-"

The loud blaring of Kevin's ringtone cut through the air. Oh my goodness. No. Not today.

I jerked back at the sound in shock and Kevin's eyes went wide. "Shit." He said out loud.

I pushed my hair back, taking a deep breath to settle my nerves. I got off him, standing. "Answer it."

"What?" Kevin stood as well.

"Kevin, answer it." I urged, pissed off in every way possible. The moment between us was over right then and there. I suddenly came back to Earth. I came back to where I let myself get lost in him.

He nodded shakily, fishing his phone out of the pockets of his jeans. "Hello?" He waited a second before I could see his face break out in a grin. "Hey." His eyes flickered to me. "Uh, yeah, why?...Wait. Seriously? Um, one sec."

Kevin looked at me and I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans, trying to remain calm. "What?"

"Um."

"Kevin."

"Alivia's in town, for the day."

And he wanted to spend the rest of the day with her. She's only here for one day. Kevin can see me anytime he's available. I felt the pang in my heart. I swallowed down whatever feeling I was having and pulled on a small smile of understanding. "Kevin, what are you waiting for? I'm sure you haven't seen her in a long time. I'll see you on Monday."

I was already walking away, taking my phone out to see if Amelia was available. "Wait, S?"

"It's fine, I'll see you on Monday!" I said back, starting to jog out of the park and mentally fighting myself. There was nothing to get upset over.

Why was I denying it?

There were many things to get upset over.

Over the fact that Kevin felt that way about himself. That he's going to a completely different place after high school. That our day was cut short due to his ex-girlfriend being in town. That we finally could've kissed and I finally would have been able to tell him how I felt about him.

Amelia picked up on the first ring. "Aren't you-"

"Can I sleepover tonight?"