You can hardly remember your days, there are only just a blur to you, that's what grief does to you. When your feeling so down and try distracting yourself, your days going by, makes you not remember what you did during that time.

It's been seven months since your grandmother was gone and you did nothing more than distract yourself. You were afraid to play your guitar, that's how much it hurt.

You would try to but your hands will end up shaking, you missed playing your guitar and you don't know if you will be able to get over her death despite you promised her to be happy.

But it was too hard thinking that you didn't deserve it, it was too hard thinking how can you be happy when your grandmother was taken away from you?

But even it was too much, you did have your happy moments here and there.

You were happy when Jonathan started going to his soccer practices, and his games, winning for his team. You were happy when jungkook took you on dates here and there.

Today is thanksgiving meaning, you had to make japchae, songyeon, galbijjim, youngyang, slow cooker pork ribs, and slow cooker galbijjim which is the Koreas thanksgiving ( chuseok ) tradition food.

Krystal, Luna, jungkook, jimin, and your brother are coming over to celebrate and lately you realized who loves food, jungkook. Beside with krystal and your brother since you know they eat a lot.

"Honeyyyyyyy, I'm homeeee." You hear Jungkook dramatically yell out with a chuckle, letting you know he had just got back from the gym. You roll your eyes with a smile. "Honey your late." You play along with jungkook. Jungkook chuckles before you feel arms wrap around your waist, a chin on your right shoulder.

You turn to look at him a little and he gives you a smile before giving a peck on your cheeks.

You and jungkook have kissed yet but haven't kissed on the lips ever since that day, you didn't know how to really start since jungkook is your first relationship so even it's been seven months together, your still adjusting, along with your grandmothers death and checking up on your brother.

"Bitch the queen has arrive!" You hear krystal yell out loud when she bursts into your house. You mentally smack yourself in the forehead as she just loves to barge in. You look up at jungkook with his head still on your neck and you give him a small smile before you do what you have never done.

You don't know why but you suddenly wanted to kiss his cute cheeks, kiss his small moles on his face.

So you peck his cheek, showing love on one of his moles, surprising him and yourself. You suddenly get nervous and feel your body burn up in flames so you cough and quickly pull away from his embrace, suddenly feel empty and cold without his warmth and the feeling of feeling safe.

"Hey." You say with a gently voice before krystal embraces you. "You doing okay grumpy?" You sigh in her arms and nod your head. This will be your first thanksgiving without your grandmother.

But your glad that you krystal won't be leaving you anytime soon. "Okay coldly, let's go!" She says before quickly going to the kitchen. You suddenly turn around and glare when you eye jungkook. He puts his arms up in defense. "You only called me that, how does she know?" Jungkook suddenly grins. "Um." You suddenly get a pillow on your couch and throw it at him, making him laugh.

Your heart falling for his laughter. You smile before joining krystal into the kitchen and begin to cook the food while the others get ready.

___

You and krystal finish making the half moon shaped rice cakes, the colors yellow, black and white put in a bowl before placing the bowl onto the table, you zone out as you could only hear faded laughter.

It feels so empty without hearing Jonathan's and your grandmother bickering. You sadly chuckle at the thought. You feel arms wrapped around you as you look up but only for your vision to blurred up, making you gulp down the knot in your throat, wanting the suffocation gone.

"Baby...i know...I know this will be different." You hear his angelic voice gently say before taking you out of his embrace to fully turn you around. "But she'll always be alive in here." He softly says while pointing at your chest where your heart was, letting his words sink in. You shut your eyes, making your tears fall out. You sadly chuckle while nodding, not wanting to break down but he pulls you back into his arms.

Pulling you back into home.

"I'm so glad your here." You whisper softly as he rubs your back to comfort you. You inhale his manly black vanilla scent, smiling at the cologne you have bought for him on his birthday back in september.

"You ready?" He softly say before pulling away and tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. You nod with a small smile.

You walk in the living room with jungkook to see jimin, Jonathan, Luna and krystal laughing, having a good time in the moment. You smile at the scene in front of your amber eyes.

The four of them look up at you and give you a soft smile. "Ready to eat dingheads?" You say playfully and everyone chuckles before nodding. One by one they walk to the dinning room to sit at the table. Jimin stops in front of you. You look up at him confusedly. "I don't want to make you sad but I just wanted to make sure you were okay with me being here even if we are still getting to know each other and if your okay mentally." You give him a genial smile. "I'm happy your here jimin and yes I'm okay." You say sincerely. He gives you a small eye smile before hesitating if to hug you or not.

You chuckle before bringing him in your arms, he relaxes into them. "Remember, I'll be here for you from now on, your a friend to me now so it's my job to worry and be there for my friends." You smile while looking to the side at jungkook to see him smiling. He gives you a thumbs up with a bunny smile. You roll your eyes with a smile. "Thank you jimin, means a lot, I'll be here too if you need me, your also family of mine." Jimin pulls away from your embrace and smiles.

He bows at you and you softly patt his head as if he was a dog, you and jimin chuckle before he leaves you and jungkook to join the others at the table. "Am I doing great?" You ask jungkook nervously. He chuckles. "You did amazing." You nod, you and jungkook join the others.

Before you guys can eat and enjoy the moment, you see jungkook stand up. He coughs, everyone staring up at him. "Um so in the honor of ambers and Jonathan's grandmother. I want to say a few words." Everyone is quiet, waiting patiently for him to speak.

"I knew the moment her grandmother made me apart of the family, I never felt so comfortable and happy. I honestly think some times that she was a grandmother to me to. She has became someone important to me as well and there aren't enough words to describe about her as I wasn't able to have more time with her, to know her. But I will continue to be strong and support each and every one of you. Life goes on, and we should continue to live this life and enjoy it, because she wasn't able to due to her health." You look down at your hands as jungkooks continues.

"But even if her health was in the way, she met amazing people that have came into her life unexpectedly." You look up at Jonathan as he had tears in his eyes, still not letting his tears fall yet. "And i know she will continue to look after you both." That's when Jonathan lets his tear fall, Luna taking a hold of his hand in a way to comfort him. "Jungkook..." jimin sniffles. "You cheesy little fu-" everyone burst into laughter, you chuckling at his words. Jungkook chuckles as well before gently smacking him in the head.

Jungkook takes his seat beside you and all of you begin to eat, talking about happy memories and just having a good time in the moment.

Live and do everything in such a way so that if you look back in time, you shouldn't have to say that if had a time machine i would've done it better.

Life goes on, there's no end in sight, there's no way out and all you can do is continue to stay strong, keep your head held up high and continue to go on.

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I am...truly...deeply sorry for taking so long to update. :(

Hope this makes up for it and how do we feel about this chapter? I know it's not that great but let me know what you guys think.

Remember to take care of yourselves and stay safe loves. <3