《"Hate And Shame" -Poems of a mentally ill person-》hungry soul [old]
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I often wonder why I feel so empty,
It's not like everything is boring to me,
It's not like I feel bored all the time,
I have a lot of interests,
Many things make me happy,
But with whatever I do,
I never really feel fulfilled.
I think I have a lot of things that my soul loves to do,
I like to write, read, draw and sing,
But it never fulfils my yearning for fullness,
I feel hungry all the time,
My soul is craving something,
Something I don't know yet,
Because with everything I've tried,
I've never felt fulfilled.
I just wish to not feel hungry some time,
So I can feel my soul relax and come down from my rushing heartbeat,
I wish to feel fed up,
So I can look up to the sky, smile and say thank you.
I know some people are jealous,
Of my interest in so many things,
But what they all don't know is that my soul is hungry too,
I enjoy a lot of activities,
But never have I thought that my stomach was full from all the shit I did.
It may not be horrific,
But trust me it feels weird,
I wish people would understand that my souls always carving more.
I jump from one thing to another,
I'm carving more and more,
Never can I ever stay at one thing to obsess cause I've always been a runner.
I feel so addicted even to the core.
Then poof, I'm uninterested again,
Even though I've spent so much time and love,
Just cause of it, tears of both laugh and cry once fell down to my hem,
My heart was once shattered cause I was so in love,
And now it's just gone,
Blown away like a feather,
Why do I feel withdrawn?
Why can't I change the weather?
15th April 2021
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