Princess

He's gone.

Raven: 6:24 AM

Who is?

Princess <3: 6:25 AM

Bellamy. I don't know where he is. He left a note, and now he's gone.

Raven: 6:25 AM

Woah, slow down, what did the note say?

Princess <3: 6:25 AM

It said something about Octavia's grave... we were talking about visiting but I don't know. The note...

Raven: 6:26 AM

I'm coming, hang on.

...

Dear Clarke,

The walls between our rooms are paper thin. I could hear you, when you cried. I wanted to help but I couldn't. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I had to leave.

There- I'm doing it again. Making this all about me.

But it's not.

This about Octavia.

I'm going to visit her grave. But you can't come after me. I need to do this alone. I don't deserve your help, or anyone else's.

You're always so nice, so understanding, and I don't deserve it.

Raven was right.

I'm going to do this alone, and then I'll go get an apartment somewhere else or something afterwards. I won't be a burden any longer.

Love you,

Bellamy

...

There she was.

Octavia Blake, in all her glory.

Somehow he knew, Bellamy knew, that this would be the last time they ever saw each other. "Octavia." he whispered. It was raining again, even though it was Summer.

"Big brother," she said back, her lips twisting into a small smile. "Hello." She was wearing the same clothes as the day she got in that car crash, but she wasn't bloody and broken. She was standing with one arm on her grave. Her feet were touching the ground- she wasn't floating, she wasn't a ghost. She was just herself.

Just... Octavia.

"Hi." he told her breathlessly.

She looked up at him. "I hear you haven't cried for me yet."

It nearly broke him, her attempt at a casual conversation. "I... I had some stuff going on." Bellamy admitted.

There was a silence where the siblings just stared at each other in silence. "I love you," Bellamy told her. "I love you, you have to know that. I would've- I- I would've done anything to prevent you from..."

"I know," she told him with a sad smile. "I know Bell."

The first sob nearly tore him apart. "P- please... y- you ca- can't leave a- again..."

Her fingers brushed his temple. "I won't be leaving you. You'll see me again, someday."

"Y- you were s- so young," Bellamy choked. "I- it shouldn't h- have been you- your turn yet."

"But it was. And now I'm gone, and you have to live the life that Lincoln and I didn't get to."

"I- it's my f- fault..."

Octavia's eyes flashed. "Bellamy. It's not your fault, it was never your fault. Don't you ever go thinking that again."

When he was silent, she sighed. "Listen, I'm sorry. Whatever you think you did, you're forgiven."

"H- how will I li- live without you?"

"You'll find a way. You always do." Her smile was sincere.

"O- Octavia..."

"It'll all be okay. You'll wake up, and Clarke will be there, and she'll take you home. And then you'll grow up, you'll have kids or whatever, and you'll tell them stories about their aunty Octavia. You're allowed to break, Bell. Your sister's dead. But it will get better, I promise it will. Even if it seems impossible at times. And I'll be there watching over you every second."

Octavia looked to some invisible thing behind him, and he knew their time was drawing to a close. "N- no-"

"I have to go," Octavia told him, her own eyes filling with tears. "I won't be able to visit anymore. But I love you, I love you so much big brother. Just know that."

"P- please, you c- can't leave me alone..." He begged, his airway closing threateningly.

Octavia brushed the tears off his face gently and kissed his brow, letting out a small laugh. "Oh, you won't be alone."

When he blinked, she was gone.

The numbness was gone, and with it was the pain. He couldn't contain it anymore, he was breaking. The tears poured down his face as he collapsed onto the dirt. Bellamy curled up into a little ball and sobbed.

She was gone.

No, no she wasn't, she couldn't be.

She was gone. She was gone. She. Was. Gone. It was agony, every second was agony, he was choking on his tears and he felt so hollow, so empty, because she was gone.

Gone meant never come back. Gone meant never seeing her again. Until he was old, until he died. Until he...

Bellamy scrambled to his backpack and pulled out the pocket knife Jasper had gotten him for his last birthday.

He didn't hesitate for a second because Octavia was his everything, she was the world and without her he was nothing.

Nothing.

And the only way, the only way he would ever see her again, was to die as well. And if dying was the consequence for seeing his sister again, so be it.

So Bellamy slit his wrists.

"My sister, my responsibility." He murmured before the world went black.