《I don't love》Part 23

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Steve's POV

It wasn't that bad. The shot didn't make such a big damage because of luck. And my serum. It helped it heal faster. But I still had to stay in the hospital for a few days. My thoughts kept wandering to Natasha. I knew she was fine. Not mentally maybe. But I knew she'd been taken care of. I couldn't push away the pictures of her bare stabbed legs with blood running down her skin. And her scratched face and scared eyes.

The door to my room opened and Natasha stepped inside. She looked me in the eyes right away and then at my chest. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, hiding her wounds.

"I'm okey." I said and it looked like she started to breath. Like she hadn't been doing that for a while.

She went over to my bedside and sat down at a chair. I carefully touched the blue, almost black, swollen wound on her cheek before I took her hand.

"Are you.."

"I'm fine." She said. "What did they say?"

"They've patched me up pretty good and I'll be out of hear in about two days." I said with a smile.

"I'm sorry." She said with a sad expression.

"It wasn't your fault." I said seriously and squeezed her hand.

"I should have known, I didn't remember.." She said.

"What did they do to you?" I asked seriously and she looked away.

"Natasha. What did he do?" I said even more serious. She looked at me with a look similar to mine.

"Bucky doesn't know what he's doing Steve. You have to remember that." She said and I had a hard time keeping my voice steady.

"Did he touch you? You didn't wear any pants." I said and she looked down at our hands.

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"It was nothing big. They managed to hold on to me. I mean there was a lot of them. Some touches and kisses but I then managed to get out. As always." She said and my heart moved to my stomach. Leaving a hard uncomfortable feeling. She looked up at my face with a little smile.

"I know you don't like it but I'm fine. I'm used to it." She said.

"You shouldn't have to be." I said and she nodded.

"Can't really change the past." She said.

"But we can change the future." I said and she looked at me with half a smile.

Her smile faded and she got back the serious look on her face.

"I wanted you to hear it from me.. They caught Bucky. He's at the avengers base." She said and relief rushed through my body.

"Finally." I said and Natasha's face turned worried.

"Don't give up. I think we can get him back." She said and I squeezed her hand.

"I hope so." I said.

Natasha's POV

I was afraid to tell him everything. I knew how he would react. I knew how furious he would become and how much he would forget about Bucky. The real Bucky. The one Bucky who hit me a few days ago wasn't the one he fought in a war with. He wasn't the one who comforted me after a few hours of torture.

They did touch me. Of course. I expected that as soon as they dragged me away. But I was too afraid to get into details. They started with ripping my pants of. And for every time I refused to take of a pair of clothing or kiss someone, I would get a knife in my leg. And as stupid and stubborn as I am, I got a lot of them that would leave at least twenty scars. I didn't want him to hear about all the men who touched me. It made me feel disgusting.

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But I saw the worry in his eyes. It was so clear how much he actually cared. Something I think no ones except for Clint has really shown me.

Steve had fallen asleep and I still sat on his bedside, my hand over his. I felt a little tired and thought about breaking the rules. Something I enjoyed. Visiting hours were long over but no one had the courage to confront me. But at least they had the brain to leave me alone. I carefully laid down beside Steve in the little bed and I had to lay tight to him not to fall of. He woke up a little and moved to make me some space. I laid my head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around my body and I took my hand in his. I listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It was steady and soothing. It made me feel safe.

"So much for road trip." I whispered.

"At least we had a few days." Steve mumbled and I looked up at him with a little smile. He kissed my lips and I laid my head back on his chest again.

"I thought you were asleep." I said.

"I thought you had left." He said as I could feel his arm tighten around my body.

"I'm not leaving. Not again." I said and he kissed my head.

"When you were gone, I.. Those 10 months, I was lost Natasha. I don't know what I would have done if I never got to see you again." He whispered with a sad voice.

"I'm so sorry." I said quietly.

"I called you everyday.." He continued and I squeezed his hand.

"I ignored your call everyday. Because I actually thought you'd might give up on me. Get away from all that I am and find someone else. But you didn't. I still don't think I deserve you. We're too different." I said and I could feel a rock in my throat.

"It's funny that you think you don't deserve me when I clearly can't make a decision right without you by my side. I've seen so many good people Natasha. Listen to me when I say that you're the best one I've ever found." He said and I felt my eyes water a bit. "My whole body, my whole soul loves you. I love you so much I can't handle seeing you and not holding your hand or kissing your lips. I need you beside me, because you're all I got." He said and I kissed his hand.

"I really suck at making promises. Because I tend to break them." I said with an unsteady voice. "And I'm not good at being honest either. I.. I have a lot of regrets. And flaws. Mistakes and darkness. But if you want me here. I won't leave you. I promise, that I will never leave you unless you ask me to." I said.

"Damn, that means I'll be stuck with you forever." He said and I smiled.

"I love you too." I said before I fell asleep with his hearts rhythm in my brain.

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