《Pumpkin Patch Princess》CHAPTER ELEVEN: Excuse Me... HOW Many Dancing Princesses?!
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I spent the last night of Trainee Week packing and saying goodbye to my new friends, and by the following morning, I was ready to accompany Maud on my first mission. We would be taking one of the C.A.F.E. carriages, a dainty gold-and-white confection pulled by four dappled grays. It hardly looked strong enough to withstand the cornfields of Indigo, let alone the rocky terrain of Viridian, where we were going.
"Appearances can be deceiving," Maud said brightly, when I told her this. "C.A.F.E. vehicles are much tougher than you think, and so are the horses."
I climbed into the sky-blue interior and wasn't surprised to see Alfonso in his carrier, but he wasn't alone. Muffet lounged on a velvet cushion nearby.
"I've decided to accompany you," he informed me. "Valentine said it would be all right, and a little vacation is just what I need to feel better." He looked as healthy as could be, but I didn't point that out.
Maud finishing securing our bags to the top of the carriage and joined us, taking a seat beside Alfonso. She pounded on the ceiling twice. "Let's go, boys!" she called, and the horses began pulling out of the gates.
"Tell me about this client in Viridian," I said, as we entered traffic. "Is she a princess?"
"He's a prince," Maud replied. "He's in love with a princess, but . . . she needs a little convincing. That's where you and I come in."
I raised my eyebrows. "Are we going to cast a spell on her?"
"Oh, Noelle, no one can do that!" My trainer laughed. "We're just going to help Peter look more like an attractive choice to her, that's all. You'll see when we get there."
She predicted that the journey would take just about an hour, which flew by thanks to the company. Muffet regaled us with tales of his early days at C.A.F.E., though he still avoided mentioning anything about his previous life. My trainer reminisced about her own internship. Even Alfonso seemed to be in a good mood and didn't glare at me once.
Before we knew it, we had reached our destination. The moment I saw Viridian, I realized how silly I had been to think that all of Finale was beautiful and picturesque. Sixteen years of seeing nothing but Indigo had made me romanticize the other kingdoms.
This place looked like a barren brown wasteland. There were a few scraggly trees here and there, but the kingdom appeared to be mostly dirt-covered mountains. I spotted a wooden castle sitting atop one of the peaks, at the foot of which was a somber little village.
"What a depressing place," Muffet remarked. "Someone told me they have excellent catnip here. Maybe they were exaggerating."
"Where are the goblin caves?" I asked, my eyes sweeping the mountaintops.
"Oh, you'll see them before long. They're scattered all over the cliffs beneath the castle. But first, we're going in here." Maud pounded on the ceiling again and the carriage stopped in front of a rundown inn with a rickety, illegible sign. "Peter's waiting for us."
Alfonso and Muffet seemed unwilling to leave the carriage, so my trainer and I entered by ourselves. It was a smoky, low-ceilinged place dimly lit by several fireplaces, despite the humid weather. A couple of questionable-looking characters drank from large tankards and threw unfriendly glances at Maud, who looked more out-of-place than ever in her leather ensemble.
A sullen, straggly-haired woman looked up from the bar. "What can I get you?"
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"Nothing, thanks. We're just meeting a friend," Maud told her, gesturing to a booth in the corner, where a boy slightly older than me sat alone. He was in the middle of sipping ale and choked on it when he recognized Maud. He jumped to his feet, sloshing stale beer down the front of his tunic, his eyes darting nervously to me as he shook her hand.
"Nice to see you, Maud," he said in a soft, timid voice. He was a head taller than either of us, with feathery blond hair and a pale face.
"And you, Peter. This is my intern, Noelle Simpkins," my trainer said. "Noelle, this is Prince Peter of Palovia."
My first instinct was to curtsy the way we had been taught in class, but I took my cue from Maud and shook his clammy hand instead. I doubted he would have noticed anyway, as he sat back down in a distracted manner, nearly knocking over his glass in the process.
"It's getting serious," he muttered, as though he and Maud were continuing a conversation. "I've heard rumors of marriage."
"It can't be as serious as that," Maud reassured him. "Rosamond is a smart girl. She won't jump into anything so suddenly."
Peter's face darkened. "I wouldn't be so sure. I hear she and this Leo guy have been spending a lot of time together. Why, if I ever saw him . . ." He tried to look angry, but his expression was more constipated than anything. He gave up and sighed, slumping back into his seat. "I should just quit while I'm ahead. It's hopeless."
Maud shook her head. "You're never going to win her over with an attitude like that, Peter. Think positive! Noelle and I are here to help."
I nodded and smiled, even though I had no blessed idea what they were talking about.
"Why don't you explain the situation to Noelle?" the fairy godmother suggested.
Peter gave a glum nod. "Well, it's like this. I'm in love with Rosamond, the eldest daughter of the King of Viridian. I met her at a ball last year, and I haven't been able to think of anyone else since." He lapsed into a dreamy silence.
"Yes . . . I see," I said.
Maud glanced sideways at him and decided to let him stare off into space. "Thing is, Rosamond has been a bit . . . stubborn," she told me. "She only wants bold, adventurous princes, you see. Men who are aggressive and skilled with a sword. In short . . ."
" . . . the opposite of me," Peter finished with a sigh, looking down at his skinny arms. "I write poetry and play five instruments, but that's not enough for her. She won't give me the time of the day anymore. She at least seemed to tolerate me before, but now this Leo has come into the picture, and I'm afraid she'll forget me." His voice had grown smaller and smaller all through this explanation, until it was practically a whisper at the end. Yes, I could see why Rosamond, she of the taste for bold and muscular men, didn't find Peter remotely attractive.
"Who's Leo? Is he a prince too?" I asked.
Maud and Peter exchanged uneasy glances.
"We believe he is, but no one has ever heard of him or knows where he comes from," my trainer explained. "Word in the village is, he hails from some underground kingdom. Apparently he's a great dancer, because Rosamond and her sisters are wiping out the treasury of Viridian just to replace the dancing shoes they've worn out."
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Peter pounded the table in frustration, then winced and gingerly plucked a splinter from his palm. "The strange thing is, King Frederick locks the girls into their room every night. He doesn't approve of this Leo, you see. Upstart pretty boy who can't prove that he's a prince, no doubt," he said gleefully. "But every night, the princesses' shoes still get completely destroyed."
"Maybe they dance in their room?" I suggested.
"It's possible, but I think someone in the castle would have heard them. I think it's very likely that they escape through an underground passage," Maud replied. "King Frederick's beside himself. He's offered Rosamond's hand in marriage to whoever can solve the mystery."
"And that's where we come in," I guessed.
"Precisely. Only catch is, we'll have to disguise Peter. We can't let Rosamond know that he's there . . . at least, not at first."
I supposed this only made sense, as I watched Peter pick his nose with a morose expression. If I had been faced with the possibility of marrying someone as miserable and pessimistic as Peter, I would probably go with the first mysterious underground prince I found.
"Have a lot of people tried to solve the mystery?"
Peter gave me a disdainful look. "Of course they have. Rosamond's the most beautiful girl in the land. Only problem is, they can never seem to stay awake long enough to catch the princesses in the act." He gave a loud yawn. "Come to think of it, maybe I should have napped this afternoon."
Maud seemed to be struggling not to roll her eyes. "Well, I've got a solution to that problem. I'll make you a draught that will keep you awake. And no drinking anything else, especially anything that the princesses give you." There was a thoughtful expression on her face.
"You think they've been drugging the people who come to the castle?" I asked. "So they'll fall asleep and won't see what the princesses are up to?"
"It's possible. So, Peter. You remember the plan, right?"
He nodded, slouching in his seat. "I go up to the castle in disguise. I tell King Frederick that I'm there to solve the mystery. He gives me a room for the night," he said in a monotone. "Then you come to the castle, pretending to be lost travelers."
Maud smiled. "You got it. And we will find out exactly what these princesses are up to and what you are up against." She cracked her knuckles, looking excited. "I'll make a stop at the apothecary for ingredients before we head up there. Peter, you go first and wear the disguise I gave you. You've still got it, right?"
He indicated a bag on the seat beside him.
"Excellent. We will see you up at the castle tonight," Maud said.
The prince inclined his head in meek acknowledgment. "I'll see you then," he mumbled.
By the time Maud and I had finished our errand at the apothecary – she bought a pot of pepperwood paste and some strange, crumbled twigs – the sun had begun setting in the sky. Our carriage began its torturous journey up to the castle on the slope and stopped abruptly in a dark, leaf-strewn courtyard, where the door was wrenched open by a burly castle guard.
"Welcome," he said in a bored voice. "State your business with the king."
"We are but poor lost travelers, sir," Maud said plaintively. "We've come such a long way and need a place to stay for the night. Good King Frederick will not turn us away."
The guard seemed completely unsurprised, and I guessed that this was a common excuse in these parts. If Rosamond were as good a catch as Peter made her out to be, fairy godmothers and their clients had probably been flocking to Viridian. "Very good. The housekeeper will show you to your rooms."
Viridian Castle seemed to be decorated with one theme in mind: gargoyles. They were everywhere: in paintings, dead-eyed statues, and the stonework on the stairs and archways. If I had not known that there was more than one princess living in this place, I would never have been able to tell. There was not one sign of femininity.
"King Frederick's probably got a great sense of humor," I muttered to Maud.
"Oh, he just has unique taste in furnishings."
"That's one way to put it," I said, shuddering as I realized that even the candleholders were gargoyles. They were decorated to look like they were hunching over in pain with candles sprouting from their backs.
Muffet pawed at my pants leg, begging to be picked up. "This place gives me the creeps," he whispered.
If we had thought the guard was huge, the housekeeper was even more so. She looked as though she ought to be wearing a gigantic fur coat in a snowy land, shifting blocks of ice. If Peter had biceps like hers, perhaps Rosamond would take more kindly to him.
The woman tucked our bags under her arms with ease. "Come this way," she grunted, leading us down a dark hall of candlelit eyes.
We were deposited into a room with two beds, both hung with blood-red velvet curtains and swinging ropes as thick as my arm. The only light came from a fireplace set into one of the walls. I tried not to imagine the place in winter, as it seemed damp and chilly enough at this time of year.
The housekeeper left without another word, moving down the hall like a walking boulder.
Alfonso hopped onto one of the beds and made himself comfortable on a pillow. I made a mental note to take the other bed.
"Someone will probably be along shortly to tell us when dinner is," Maud said, taking a seat on a scarlet upholstered chair carved with – unsurprisingly - more gargoyles.
As if on cue, there was a knock and we spun around to see an old man standing in the doorway. He had a thick gray beard and terrible posture.
"Hi, Peter," Maud said. "Come in and close the door."
I stared at him in shock. The only recognizable features were his watery blue eyes. Along with the beard, he wore a wig that made it look like he was balding, in addition to a tunic and pants that had seen better days.
"Took you long enough," he garbled in a strange voice, then spat out two big cotton balls.
"We were making some important purchases." Maud began unpacking the contents of the parcel from the apothecary. She whipped out her magic wand and pointed it at the table. A small pot of water and a glass appeared out of nowhere.
"We're dining with the royal family in fifteen minutes," Peter said in his normal voice. "What are you doing?"
"Making something that will keep us awake. None of us should eat anything that they give us at dinner, by the way." Maud mixed a spoonful of the paste and twigs in the pot of water, which she hung over the fireplace.
Peter's stomach rumbled audibly. "Great," he grumbled. "I'm going to be spying on these broads on an empty stomach."
I glared at him. Royalty or not, it was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to shut up and be grateful that we were helping him. I had just opened my mouth to do so when Maud gave him a mild reply.
"Oh, it'll all be worth it. Just think of Leo. You think he cares about his stomach while he's romancing your princess?"
That seemed to do the trick. Peter stopped scowling and stared at the pot on the fire. "When will that be done?"
"When we get back from dinner. There's enough for all three of us." Maud wiped her hands on her jacket. "Done! Why don't we go meet our generous hosts?"
Alfonso appeared to have fallen asleep, but Muffet, who had draped himself over my shoulders, decided to come with us. "I don't suppose it would do any harm if I ate something," he said, ignoring the startled glance that Peter threw him. "I plan to sleep a great deal tonight."
It was a good thing Maud seemed to know her way around the castle, as I couldn't see very well in the dim light, Muffet kept yawning, and Peter seemed determined to knock down every statue we came across.
Before long, we entered a great hall with the longest table I had ever seen. At the head of the table sat a tiny man with gold spectacles, flanked on both sides by a sea of dazzlingly beautiful girls with magnificent red hair.
I did a quick head count. "There are twelve of them?" I hissed to Maud, who grinned. Yes, replacing twelve pairs of dancing shoes every night would definitely wipe out a royal treasury. I was astonished that they still had money for servants and food.
It seemed that visitors were commonplace here, as none of them looked surprised to see a clumsy bearded man, a woman with pink hair, a cat, and me. This was confirmed when the large housekeeper came into the hall, ushering two more guests. One was a short, plump young man wearing bright purple, who swaggered in and winked at the nearest princess.
The other was Jessaline Snapp.
The expression on my face brought a smile to hers, but we had no chance to talk because the housekeeper hustled her and her companion to the other end of the table, near the king.
"She's following us," I fumed. "She heard me say that we were going to Viridian."
"Now, Noelle, we don't know that. It's possible that she and Sloane had always intended to bring their client here," Maud said, though she didn't look entirely convinced herself. "Lots of fairy godmothers have tried their hand at the mystery."
"Welcome, visitors," the tiny king yelled to us from a hundred yards away. "You'll forgive me if I can't join you in conversation all the way down there."
"Thank you for your hospitality, Sire," Maud shouted back.
"What?" he screamed, holding a hand to his ear.
"Thank you for your hospitality!" Maud hollered, to which he beamed and brushed away wisps of ginger hair on his shiny scalp.
"That's King Frederick, the gargoyle lover?" I whispered.
"I guess he has to feel tough somehow, with all these ladies to look after," my trainer said in an undertone. She sat at the foot of the table with Muffet on her lap, and Peter and I each took a chair on either side of her. An army of servants rushed forward to pour us water and set bowls of steaming soup in front of us.
I noticed that Peter's eyes were glued to a woman on King Frederick's right. "That's Rosamond?" I whispered to Maud, who nodded.
Jessaline and her client were sitting next to Princess Rosamond. I wondered why Sloane hadn't come with them.
"Some trainers believe in a divide-and-conquer method when it comes to their interns," Maud explained, when I asked her. "They think independence is key for a budding fairy godmother."
She seemed determined to think that this was all a coincidence. I, however, had a gut feeling that this was part of Sloane's plan to claim the seat in the House of Godmothers. I felt sure that she had sent Jessaline to try and swipe Rosamond out from under Maud's nose for their own client. Judging from the way Rosamond was pointedly ignoring the plump prince's advances, however, the plan wasn't going so well. Still, I would keep my eye on them.
"So, where are you from?" asked the princess beside me. She didn't look older than fourteen or fifteen at the most.
"Irisia, Your Highness. We were traveling and got lost."
Her lips made a silent "oh" of acknowledgement before she turned back to her food.
"Is there much to do here in Viridian?" I asked conversationally. "Shows, musical events . . . dances, perhaps?"
Her eyes flickered, but her answer was careful. "Oh, my sisters and I amuse ourselves as best we can. There are so many of us, there's always something going on." She peered at our untouched plates. "Is there anything wrong with the food?"
I gazed down at my bowl, which appeared to be filled with some kind of delicious-smelling carrot soup. Maud was pretending to eat hers and so was Peter, no doubt induced by the punch of her foot under the table. Only Muffet was noisily lapping it up.
"Mmm, delicious. Isn't it, Noelle?" my trainer asked.
I dabbed a spoonful on my lips. "Mmm, yes, very."
"Can I call the servant to bring you more?" the princess suggested.
One of her sisters frowned. "Will you stop bothering them, Rebecca? They've got plenty for now." A look of unmistakable significance passed between them.
I almost laughed aloud. These princesses were about as subtle as a dragon in a meadow.
I took a peek at what Jessaline and her client were doing at the other end of the table, and was shocked to see them both eating enthusiastically. Jessaline was even reaching for what appeared to be her second buttered roll. Had Sloane not even warned them about the possibility that the food and drink were drugged?
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