《Pumpkin Patch Princess》CHAPTER TEN: Frog On the Lam
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The next day, I attended my final lesson, which was on courtly etiquette: how to curtsy to a king versus to a prince, what fork to use at a royal function, and how to deal with the press when they harass your client for interviews. I hurried off to the mail room as soon as it was over and found a note from Geoff, which I took to read outside on my usual bench.
He wrote that he wouldn't be sending mail for a month because his class was camping out in the mountains to "weed out the wimps," according to his teacher, Sir Lance. Just hiking that treacherous mountain range was a task for the bravest, so what would it be like to have to sleep out there for four weeks? I was glad I didn't have to find out. At least Geoff would have a sword, though . . . all I had was a wooden stick that I was still getting the hang of.
I took the magic wand out of my pocket and examined it. Contrary to what Madam Pennywell had said in class about being on the lookout for witches or banshees, I was much more interested in what the wand could do in terms of everyday tasks . . . like, say, making shoes. Mom and I could finish fifty pairs on a good day. Would we be able to double that? And how would a wand compare to gossamer powder for enlarging pumpkins?
I closed my eyes, imagining Big Ben swelling to the size of a castle.
Ribbit.
I looked down to see Alfonso gazing at me with his usual disapproval.
"Hey, frog boy," I said. "Where's Maud? Is it time to meet her and Muffet for lunch?"
In response, he looked toward the main building.
"Speaking of Muffet, do you know what his deal is?"
The amphibian licked his chops, looking puzzled.
"He didn't want Maud to tell me where he came from yesterday. I was just curious."
That was the first time I had ever seen a frog shrug at me.
"Fine, don't tell me," I said, getting to my feet. "So what's your deal? Where did you come from? Why are you hanging out with Maud?"
And that was the first time I had ever seen a frog roll its eyes.
"I was just trying to make conversation," I grumbled. "Come on, Maud must be wondering where her best webbed-toe buddy is." I offered him my hand, which he condescended to hop onto, and we headed toward the main building.
Maud was waiting alone in the lobby, as Muffet was apparently too groggy from his morning nap to join us.
"It'll just be the three of us today," my trainer said cheerfully, popping Alfonso onto her shoulder as she led the way out.
It was another beautiful August day and I admired the sun gleaming off the stone towers of Irisia Palace. It really was a beautiful place for a ball. Maybe those princesses falling all over themselves to find the perfect shoes were onto something.
"Have you ever met Prince Christopher?" I asked. "What's he like?"
"Only a few times, from a distance," the fairy godmother replied. "He's very tall. Handsome. Walnut-colored hair that's just as perfect as everyone says it is."
"I mean, what's he like as a person?"
"Oh. Charming, but a bit . . . eccentric, and he certainly likes his own way. Grandma Lin was actually supposed to be his fairy godmother, but he threw a huge tantrum and made his parents cancel the contract when he was ten."
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"So that's why they're throwing him this festival in December? Because he can't find a potential bride by himself, without a fairy godmother?"
"I don't think he's worried about that just now," Maud said absently. "He's much more concerned with enjoying himself. Here we are! The Tented Market!"
We had reached the field on the western side of the castle. Every inch was lined with colorful silk tents so that the whole thing resembled a forest with rainbow treetops. I saw wagons, stalls, and even miniature huts with tongues of smoke emerging from chimneys.
We entered into dense shade created by the heavy draperies, which cascaded down in spills of color and blocked all but a few beams of sunlight. Merchants in vibrant clothing hawked their wares, some aggressively pursuing visitors while others merely stood back, looking bored.
"Where do all of these people come from?" I asked.
"All over the world, some from thousands of leagues away. They stay here in Irisia through the fall. It's where they make the most money, what with all the people passing through."
To my left was a bookseller's stand offering old volumes that apparently all dealt with black magic, as I realized when I glanced at a few of the titles. The merchant leered at us as we passed by and I tried not to stare too much. It was obvious even to me that he was a goblin, though I had never seen one before. His back was hunched and his skin was a leathery gray, like an aging elephant's, except where it was pinkish on his shiny bald spot.
We passed a cart full of bottles where the vendor, a large woman with strange black slits on the sides of her neck, watched us through suspicious aquamarine eyes.
Maud pointed out some pills shaped like seashells. "Sea-medicines from the coast of Marina. They do wonders for your health . . . or so I've heard."
We saw a hut made entirely of dried flowers and a cart owned by an elegant dark-haired couple who sold glass ornaments. I was attracted in particular to a tiny shoe that looked as though it could have been an earring. It reminded me of my dream and I wanted to look at it more closely, but Maud's gasp interrupted me.
"Oh, no! Where's Alfonso?" she cried. "Do you see him anywhere, Noelle?"
I stared blankly at her empty shoulder. "He was with us when we came in. He's got to be in here somewhere," I said, trying to sound more concerned than I felt. It was kind of nice not having the frog around. His glares of disapproval rivaled those of my great-aunt Quella.
But Maud looked so upset that I felt bad and suggested splitting up to find him. She agreed and rushed off to the sea-medicine cart, while I returned to the goblin bookseller we had passed. He was now busy helping a dwarf customer. On the other side of the stall stood a tall, black-haired boy, who was chuckling as he read one of the books. He appeared to be alone, aside from another boy and girl nearby who looked like siblings. The sister kept glancing at the black-haired boy, which seemed to amuse her brother.
"Try this love potion book. Maybe it'll will help you out," he teased his sister, jerking his head toward the oblivious boy.
She turned beet red. "Shut up. At least I don't need Mom to help me find a partner at the dance!"
"That was one time. One time!"
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As they continued bickering, I knelt down in the corner to see if Alfonso was hiding under the bookcases, but there was no sign of him.
"Lose something?"
I looked up and saw the black-haired boy watching me. The siblings stopped arguing and glanced over at us.
"My friend lost her pet frog," I explained. "Have you seen a big, ugly purplish one with yellow eyes?"
The boy grinned. "No. Strange thing to lose, isn't it? Can't you just buy another one?"
"Unfortunately, no. My friend loves that thing." I peered at the ground, wondering what frog marks looked like.
"I'd check the animal stall. They're selling frogs. Maybe he went to be with his kind," he advised me. "I can take you there. I work at the pumpkin stall nearby."
As we walked off, I noticed the girl scowling at us.
"Is he a literary frog, since you were searching for him at the book cart?" the boy asked.
"I hope not. Those were spell books and if he knew how to read, I'd probably be in trouble," I returned. "We didn't get off on the right lily pad, if you catch my drift."
He laughed, and it dawned on me that he was very cute. If regular citizens in Irisia are this good-looking, what does the prince look like? I thought.
He held out a large, callused hand. "My name's Kit."
"Noelle," I said, shaking it. "That's a weird name, Kit."
He chuckled. "You're honest, aren't you?"
"Oh, I didn't mean to offend you."
"Not offended. Amused," he corrected me. "It's a nice change, really."
I waited for him to go on, but he didn't offer any further explanation. "So you work here? You're so lucky," I said. "I'm from Indigo, and you never see anything half as amazing as this there."
"Yeah, whatever. It gets kind of boring," he said, shrugging. "You see one stall, you've seen them all. All they sell is junk, but tourists are dumb and will buy anything."
I frowned, thinking of the wife-turned-horse back home. "I don't think that's true. I'm sure at least a few of the potions work. Maybe even too well."
"You like this stuff?" he asked, looking at me askance. "I guess you must be a tourist."
Although the remark was, well, not far off the mark, the way he said it annoyed me. "Well, maybe I'm not as well-traveled as you seem to be," I said stiffly. "But if I went around being uninterested in everything, life would be pretty boring."
Kit looked down, smiling to himself. "That's a good point."
I glanced at him, wondering if he was laughing at me. I decided that although he was cute, he was a little annoying. And quite possibly full of himself. I turned my attention back to the task at hand, but could barely see my way through the crowd, let alone spot a frog.
The animal stall lay just ahead and offered a menagerie consisting of crows, piglets, cats, dogs, and a collection of toads and frogs in a large box with no top. I peered at them hopefully, but they were all the wrong color. No purple ones. No annoyed yellow eyes staring back at me.
"Any luck?" my companion asked.
I sighed. "No, he's not here." When I straightened up, I caught sight of Maud's pink-and-black spiked hair moving through the crowd. She gave me a frantic wave with one hand and clutched an ugly purple frog with the other. "Oh, there's my friend! Looks like she found him."
Kit turned and looked. "Oh, that's her?" he said in an odd voice. "Well, I'm glad her frog's safe. I have to go, my lunch break's ending and I haven't eaten yet."
"Oh . . . okay," I said. "Thanks for helping me."
"No problem. See you around, Noelle." He flashed me a quick smile and took off just as Maud reached me.
"Found our little buddy. The bug cart lured him over," she crowed. "Who was that guy?"
"Just someone who offered to help me find Alfonso. Nice, but in need of an ego check."
"Well. That little treasure hunt made me hungry. How about some pie?" Maud pointed to a large wooden stall nearby, where a stout woman was chopping up a pumpkin and laying the pieces on a floured crust. I guessed that this was the pumpkin stall where Kit said he worked.
My trainer ordered two enormous slices topped with whipped cream, which the woman served with enthusiasm. I watched her count the coins Maud gave her, thinking how familiar she looked. Where had I seen her before?
"They say my pie is the best in a hundred leagues," she boasted. "You won't find anything better this side of the Citrian Mountains."
"There's a little place I know in Indigo that might just give you a run for your money," I said, thinking fondly of Dad in the kitchen, baking in his favorite slug-patterned apron.
The woman's friendly expression disappeared. "We'll see about that," she said in a clipped tone. "Next year will be the year my pumpkins take first place at the Finale fair. People will be saying, 'Humphrey who?' when they get a load of what Mallory Parker can cook up."
So that's where I knew her from! She was the one who bugged Dad every year about his secret gossamer powder recipe. She considered him her greatest rival, and he considered her his greatest nuisance.
"Good luck," I said sweetly. You'll need it, I added silently, sweeping an amused glance over her tiny pumpkins. Next to Dad's beauties, they would probably resemble a bunch of misshapen apples.
Maud and I enjoyed our pie at a nearby table. Not bad, I conceded, though the crust left something to be desired. "Thanks for lunch, Maud. What are we doing next?"
"We are going to sit here and wait for my heart rate to go down. Don't ever run away like that again! I was worried sick!" she said to Alfonso, who gave an apologetic croak.
I looked around, wondering if I would see Kit return from his lunch break. But half an hour went by and he never appeared at the pumpkin stall. When we finished our lunch, I returned our plates and utensils to Mallory Parker, who took them with an air of lingering displeasure at my earlier allusion to Dad.
"We're going to visit my friend Janice," Maud explained, leading us back through the maze of vendors. "We need some potion ingredients from her."
For fear of losing Alfonso again, she carried him in her hands instead of on her shoulder, and he did not look happy about it. When we arrived at our destination and she passed him on to me, he looked even less happy. I tried not to squeeze him too hard. Maud had looked so upset when he escaped, I couldn't imagine what she would do if I accidentally burst him.
Our convoluted path led us to a hut covered in giant green leaves. It was very crowded and stuffy inside, seeing as there was only the one tiny door.
I stood gingerly holding the frog as Maud conducted business with Janice, who looked exactly like the evil witches in my old storybooks. Her face, neck, and hands were ropy and withered like a rotten apple, and she wore a musty gown that must not have been washed in some time.
"Good to see you, Janice," Maud sang. "Nice weather, eh?"
The crone grimaced, revealing teeth like stalactites in a foul cave. "Nice enough, Maud, nice enough," she croaked. "Looking for anything in particular?"
"I need a few items for my clients," Maud began, consulting her shopping list.
While they talked, I glanced at the wall behind me, which held hundreds of glass vials neatly labeled in bold black writing. "Essence of pinworm," I read aloud. "Tincture of rose hips. Oil of eagle blood. What do you think this stuff is used for?"
Alfonso blinked his big yellow eyes in disgust.
I thought back to what that guy Kit had said, about everything at the Tented Market being junk. But some of these potions looked as though they had taken years to collect, or mix, or whatever. Would someone spend all this time on something that didn't even work? I found that hard to believe.
Maud and Janice were still talking. "I'm afraid I'm clean out of linwood bark, Maud," the old woman said. "I can't collect it myself, you know."
"Why not?" my trainer asked.
"I've been banned from Heliotropia," Janice spat. "It's where all the best herb-making trees and flowers grow, but the blasted king doesn't want me selling anything from his kingdom. Thinks I should give him a percentage of the profits, the greedy miser."
"Linwood bark? Is that like the balm, the one that cures transformations?" I asked.
The old woman seemed to notice me and Alfonso for the first time, staring at us through milky eyes that sent shivers down my spine. "It comes from linwood trees, which are everywhere in the forests of Heliotropia." She mumbled something under her breath, but we only caught the words "if only" and "I'd be rich" and "king my left cheek," and then a few swears.
"Thanks, anyway, Janice," Maud said. "I'll let you know what happens."
"Give that sassy grandmother of yours my best."
My trainer ushered us away from the woman's eerie stare and out of the smelly hut. It was a relief to return to the fresh air, especially when we meandered back out to the entrance.
Emerging into the sunshine made me feel as though we had been inside a dark cave for days, and it was nice to see the picturesque city once again, angry carriage drivers and all.
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