Okay, how am I going to do this?

Those are the words that cycle through my head as I try to figure out a way to convince my CEO to let me out of practice the day of Rin's show. I've tried coming up with wording after wording to try and sound as inoffensive and polite as possible, but nothing sounds right. Now, here I am in front of my CEO's door, waiting to be let in and still having no idea how I'm going to make my request.

Big Hit's CEO has always been a pretty nice and reasonable guy. He understands, for the most part, that we're people too, and he believes in generally doing what's best for us. That being said, he also takes our schedules really seriously, and few have ever asked him to get out of one. Nervousness shoots through my body like electricity as I wait for him to call me in. My foot taps incessantly against the dirty white linoleum floor as a method of coping. God, I'm bad at waiting.

My saving grace comes in the form of an assistant speaking to me. "CEO-nim is ready to see you, Suga-ssi."

I nod and stand, brushing my hands off on my cardigan before I enter Bang Sihyuk's office.

My boss stands at about my height, and today he's dressed in a gray business suit with a navy blue tie. His hair looks a bit disheveled; the brown dye seems to be wearing off. His round face sports a large nose in its center and a bright smile. He's always happy to see us.

"Hello, Suga! How are you doing today?" He asks cheerfully.

"I'm great, thanks for asking," I reply, deciding to tread lightly.

"What do you need from me today?"

"Well, about that," I pause. No words seem to want to leave my mouth. I'm convinced nothing I say is going to sound right.

"Yes?"

Well, he's waiting for me now; might as well spit it out. "I was hoping to get out of practice on Saturday. See, Hoseok told me that we're just doing a bit of review for some of our old choreographies, and I can do those really well. If it's a problem I can totally do the practice on my own, but—"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you want that day off?"

"Oh, uh— right. Okay, I wanted that day off because I'm trying to fix something I messed up a long time ago."

"You know you won't get my permission by dodging the question, right?"

"Yes. Sorry, CEO-nim."

"So, what are you trying to fix?"

"This old friend of mine; her name is Ah Rin. She's an underground rapper, and before I joined Big Hit we were really close friends. Right around the time I started training, we got into a pretty big fight. She's hated me ever since. When I went with Hoseok to the Underground Festival last Saturday, I saw her performing. I realized that I really wanted to make amends, but I guess she saw me and left before I could talk to her. I got in touch with one of her friends, though, and he gave me the address for her next show. He also said he'd agree to help out in getting me to talk with her. That show is on Saturday, and I can't be at practice if I want to be there. I know that it's serious to miss work, and I don't want to do it, but this has really been eating at me since I saw her and I don't think it'll stop until I at least try to apologize."

"One question: do you have feelings for her?"

"Romantic feelings? No, none. We were only ever friends."

"Then you must be very dedicated to your friendship, yes?"

"Absolutely." Why is he probing so much? If I did have feelings for her, would he not let me go?

"You know how I know that, Yoongi?"

The first thought that comes to mind is that I just told him, but I decide to just go along with it. "How?"

"You have never, ever, asked for a day off before. The first one you've requested in all the years we've worked together has been for this girl. You realize that because this is your first day off, you didn't have to meet me in person, right?"

"I didn't?"

"Nope. You could've done it all through paperwork or over the phone, but here you are. And y'know, that's something I love about you. You're so dedicated to the people you care about, and to your passions as well. You've earned a day off, Yoongi. Don't even worry about making the practice up on your own time. Only do it if you feel like you need to."

"Really? Thank you, CEO-nim."

"Anytime. And Yoongi?"

"Yes?"

"There's nothing in your contract forbidding you from dating. Just make sure she's really worth it."

Well, CEO-nim certainly seems to have his own ideas about my motives, but whatever.

Cheerful as ever, he dismisses me. "Okay. You're free to go!"

"Thank you, CEO-nim, have a good day!" I exclaim.

I step out of the office feeling winded and a little bit dizzy. Talking to him is always an adventure, isn't it? Well, hey, at least I got the day off.

Upon returning to the dorm, Hoseok pulls me into my bedroom and promptly begins interrogating me again.

"Did you get the day off?"

"Yeah."

"Any trouble?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Hoseok, I'm sure. Look, I've gotta call this Juyoung guy and get all the details worked out, okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just happy for you!"

"I know you are, and I do totally appreciate it. If you don't mind, can you come up with some kind of excuse as to why I won't be at practice on Saturday?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll just say you had a doctor's appointment."

"Sweet, thank you. If anything comes up, text me, okay?"

"Yep!"

"Awesome! Thank you so much, Hoseok."

"Of course."

Of course, nothing's ever that easy.

I spend the time after that day practicing my old dances. When I'm not doing that, I'm under the covers in bed with headphones in my ears, listening to everything Silver has released since we stopped talking. She's gotten so much better with time; her technique has improved dramatically and her lyrics are much more personal and powerful. Every word she writes is deliberate and weighted; she knows exactly what to say and how to say it. I can only imagine how much more time she puts into them now.

The week speeds by this way. Jimin makes a point to call me a recluse at least three times a day and everyone else seems at least a bit confused by my behavior. Well, not Hoseok, of course, but the rest of them are definitely a bit weirded out. Questioning looks are shot here and there constantly, and Jin tries to talk to me pretty much every night. I always pretend to be asleep, but I think he's catching on.

When Saturday finally arrives, things become a bit more difficult. I'd previously made all the plans up with Juyoung about how I'm going to get to Rin, but I don't have to meet him until the gig starts at 7:00. Practice starts at five, and I need to be there. I don't think it'll be too big of a problem to leave early, though, so I hop in the company car with the boys and head to the practice room.

Our all-familiar practice room is our second home. All of our choreographies, all of our vocal practices, and a good portion of our free time is spent here. The once-polished hardwood floor is dulled and covered in skids from our shoes now. The wall with the Big Hit name and logo on it is intact, but the words on the wall have lost some of their letters. For example, the "r" and the bottom part of the "i" in the word "Entertainment" have fallen off to reveal the brickwork behind them, which is subsequently a lighter color gray than the rest of the wall. One of the lockers won't close all the way, no matter what we do to it. Its condition is a byproduct of all the time we spend there. Eating, working, and sleeping quite frequently here during our time spent in production have taken their toll. Either way, this worn-out place is our home away from home, and I love it, even though right now I'd much rather be elsewhere.

At 5:07 we enter the room and immediately do stretches and warmups. I take my spot in the corner and get myself ready. I focus less on the stretches than normal, though, and mostly put my effort towards clearing my mind. I really need to keep my head clear of distractions if I want to do this right. Juyoung told me I'd have to stay away from Rin if she didn't want anything to do with me after this, and I'm determined to keep that from happening.

When stretches are done, we work on our songs in order. No More Dream first, all the way up to Danger. The boys are about to start that dreaded song when I note the time. 6:15.

Hoseok shoots me a pointed look and I know I've got to make my exit.

"Guys, I'm gonna go."

"Uh, where? Why?" Jungkook questions.

"Doctor's appointment," I respond. "Routine checkup thing."

"Sure," Namjoon muses. Sarcastic suspicion drips from his voice.

"What? Can't a guy go get a checkup?" Hoseok defends. Oh, Hoseok. I love you to death, but you really need to stop talking.

"When's your appointment?" Seokjin asks.

"Seven," I respond.

"But our doctor's office is only fifteen minutes away," Taehyung supplies.

"Yeah? I want to get there early."

"What kind of doctor's office is open at seven o'clock at night?" Namjoon pries. "Dude, as long as it's not hard drugs or something, we don't care what it is. You can tell us."

"It's a doctor's appointment. Because I do hard drugs," I say, hoping to lighten the mood. I don't succeed.

"Does this have something to do with how you've been acting lately?" Seokjin asks. "Does it have something to do with us?"

"Hyung, we're your best friends. We're your family. You can tell us anything," Jungkook adds.

"I can tell anyone anything," I say. "This is a personal thing. It's got nothing to do with you, and it's not hard drugs; I swear. I just— I've got to go; I'm gonna be late."

"Okay, but one more question," says Namjoon. "Are you okay?"

I smile. "Yeah, I'm okay." His concern, though kind of irritating, is touching, for certain.

"Good," he finishes. "Now hurry up, you'll be late for your 'appointment.'"

I roll my eyes at him as a broader smile passes over my face. "Thanks, guys. I'll see you all later, okay?"

"When do you think you'll be back?" Tae pries.

"Not sure. Midnight at the latest, probably. Feel free to call me if I'm not home by then."

"Promise it's not hard drugs?" Jungkook jokes.

"Promise. Okay, I'm heading out."

"Bye!" Jimin chirps.

I step out of the practice room and the Big Hit building, jumping into the first taxi willing to take me.

Now, on to make things right.

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hello friends! hope you're doing well!

if you liked this chapter and feel it's worthy, vote for it! and leave a comment with some feedback. i'd love to hear what you all think of this story! also, if i've made a typo, feel free to point it out! doesn't offend me in the slightest.

thanks, and seriously i'm not kidding stan vromance,

sam

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