《One Last Fight》Nothing Is Worth Losing You Over
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Kinnick sat with me at my mom's grave. We conversed about everything. From the moment he first saw me to the moment we first met. The way he told stories about us at the gym was difficult to understand because he was laughing so hard. I loved moments like this because he barely laughed this hard or laughed at all. The only people I saw him laugh around was me, and it was refreshing to know that he could be himself around me.
He told my mom how embarrassing I was the first night we met. He laughed about my inability to climb into the ring because of how short I was. When he told my mom I had no problem climbing him, I reached out smacking him.
"You can't tell my mom that!"
"Baby," he fell into a fit of laughter. "How do you think we got that baby?"
"But you can't tell my mom that," I dropped my head into my knees. "You are the worst!"
He shoved me over as he fell into a fit of laughter. He couldn't seem to control it today. I loved nothing more than seeing him happy. After learning about our baby, he was acting differently. I wasn't complaining, not even a bit. It made the world feel different when he was like this. It made everything seem brighter, and there was no weight on my shoulder because seeing him happy made it much lighter.
Kinnick loved seeing me embarrassed. He told me multiple times he enjoyed the way my cheeks heated up. He would pinch them the second he saw it. Then he would laugh even harder because I would shove him away.
"You are telling me your mom wouldn't laugh?"
When I thought about it, I know she would. "Yes, she would."
I smiled at him as he talked to my mom as if she was here. "Your daughter is a little hater. She just doesn't understand us."
He laid his head on the marble to look at me. "When can we start shopping?"
I grinned. "We don't know if it is a boy or a girl yet."
"It is definitely a girl."
"No," I shake my head. "I think it is a boy."
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"If we have a boy, we are having a girl next."
"You do know that is not how it works, right? There is a fifty-fifty chance."
"I can bet you it is a girl."
"What is your bet?"
"If I win, I get to buy all of the baby clothes," he pursed his lips. "If you win, you get to buy all of the baby clothes."
"No," I shake my head. "I am buying all of the clothes regardless. Especially if I want them to wear something cute."
He gasped. "Boston Marie! I have good style."
"Only because of your Pinterest account."
He narrowed his eyes at me as he tried to fight off a smile. "You know too much. It's damaging to my soul, sweetheart."
"What soul?"
"We can't raise a kid with this kind of hatred between us."
"What do you want me to do, tell him that he has to wait?" I tossed up my hands as I snorted.
"That is exactly what I am telling you to do, and the baby is not a he."
My head hung as I couldn't stop smiling at him. He grabbed my hand, bringing my fingers to his lips. Watching him like this made me realize it was possible to fall more in love with him every day. There were moments like this that made me love being alive. Moments like this felt like the start of something new.
"Are you hungry?"
"Kind of," I nodded. "My doctor said I am dehydrated, and I need to start drinking more. I don't understand how I could drink so much wine and everything is still okay."
"Did she say everything was okay?"
"She said the bleeding was normal because it could have been a sign of implantation," I looked down at the picture on my lap. "She said I need to take care of myself better."
"What can I do to help?"
"We can start by communicating," I fiddled with my fingers. "We need to make a rule."
"Okay."
"If we ever fight, like we did a few days ago," I sigh. "We can't do it in front of our kids. I don't want them to -"
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"You don't have to explain yourself," he looked at me with promise in his eyes. "I don't know if we will ever fight, but I do know I will never treat you the way I did again. It won't happen."
"I know why you did it," I shrugged. "You saw me dead. I am sorry you had to see that. After everyone left you, and hurt you, I don't blame you for the way you reacted. I know not every relationship is perfect, and we are going to have our ups and downs. As long as we know at the end of the day that we love one another, and what we have is worth more than our problems, then we will be okay."
"Nothing is worth losing you over."
"I think we both have abandonment issues."
I watched him gulp down something he probably wasn't to sure if he should say. "You are probably right. Although my mom testified against me, it still hurt to lose her. I can't even say I lost her. She left me."
"Have you tried to contact her?"
"I don't want a relationship with a woman who said her son beat the shit out of her."
"Not for a relationship, but for closure."
"Bo, I wouldn't know how."
"Don't you have questions?"
"A lot."
"Whatever you choose to do, I will support you."
"Will you wear your ring again?" He stuttered. "I mean, I know we are having a baby, but I want to know that you still want to marry me."
"Of course," I smiled at him. "I will always want you. No matter what happens and what we go through. It is always going to be you."
"Good," he shoved his hand into his pocket. "Because I have been carrying this around."
He pulled the ring out, sliding it onto my finger as he stared at me. I grabbed his cheeks, pulling him towards my lips. He gasped, immediately pushing me away. My mouth fell open at his rejection.
"What is your problem?"
"We can't kiss in front of your mom."
"But we can talk about me climbing you like a jungle gym?"
He burst into laughter. "You are too much."
"There is no body anyway."
His laughter stopped. "What?"
"My mom's body isn't here," I sighed. "She had to be cremated."
"But you don't have any ashes."
"They are spread around the garden at the old house."
"Who has the house now that your dad is in jail awaiting trial?"
"Well, sooner or later, the utilities will be shut off unless Ashley is paying for them."
"It is your house, though. They didn't get married, and you are next of kin."
"What am I supposed to do with it?"
"A piece of your mom lives there. What do you want to do with it?"
Then a thought came to my mind. "John is looking for a new house. It would be perfect! Riley loves gardening, and it has four bedrooms. It would be enough room for kids!"
"You are too kind," he smiled.
"It will give me the chance to see if there is anything left of my mom."
"What?"
"I have nothing," I frown. "Her books were sold. The pictures were thrown away. Other than that It book, I have nothing from my mom."
"Bo," he murmured. "I didn't know that."
"Seth didn't want any memory of her to exist in that house," I rubbed my face. "The garden was the only thing that made that place feel like home."
"Where did he sell her books too?"
"I don't know," I admit. "I looked everywhere. I never found one. Not a single one."
"Is there one you are trying to find in particular?"
"Pride and Prejudice, but that is like looking for a needle in a haystack."
"I don't care. We are going to find it. I promise."
When he said it, I know he meant it. "I love you, Kinnick Carson."
"I love you," he smiled and rubbed my stomach. "And I love you."
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