Sitting in my office then gulping down my seventh scotch. Where is she? Why did you do that? Why do you have to be harsh on her? Why did you do that DEVIN? I stood up then throw away my laptop at the wall.

"F*CK !!!"

I roared in frustration. I'm so f*cked up!! I slumped down on my office chair, the image of her hurt face displayed in my head. She looked hurt really badly hurt by my stupid words. The most important person in my life hurt by ME !! F*CKING ME!! I stood up and walked towards the wall. Giving my hardest punch at the hard wall causing hole at it. I don't give a F*CK my hand hurt from the punch even the bloods started to dripping .

She deserve everything but this !! YOU A$$HOLE!! What you've done is UNACCEPTABLE!!

My wolf Xion yelled at me. I couldn't but be agree at what he said. It's true, Why did I call her weak? she exactly the opposite, She is strong. She is perfect. I can't control my anger because of my anger issues. I wasn't mad at her, I was mad at the person who threatened to take what's MINE. I should protect her instead of pushing her away or let out my frustration at her. She is being kind enough to even care about me after I yelled at her. She keep my breakfast at the fridge wishing me to eat it even after what I did to her earlier.

I'M SO STUPID!!

Because of me, She's out of my grasp. It's been three day after the incident. I still remember walking into our room after that when I realized what I've done. I wished I could apologize at her that day by the thought of her in our room but only to be greeted empty room. Kyara is nowhere to be seen. I've been searching at the city but Still I couldn't find her. I've informed all my men and warriors to search for my love of my life.

I'm getting more frustrated when I remember she asked me if I regret about us ? but I didn't answer. I was so furious at that time. I couldn't control it. I even went to meet psychiatrist to learn how to control my anger before I brought her here. The nightmare that I feared the most is my Kyara leaving me. My everything leaving me.

I looked at the picture that place on my office desk. Sad smile formed on my face, it's my Kyara picture. She look happy while cuddling me on the couch. I still remember that moment.

>>>> flashback

Playing with her soft brunette hair while she focusing watching the movie. I sighed in content hugging her small body close to mine. I felt complete, too perfect to be true. I burried my head in the crook of her neck , smelling her scent and hair. her scent is addicting. I love it, I LOVE HER.

"Stop it Devin, it's ticklish"

She giggled while trying to pulled away but I playfully growled in protest.

"Never, You're MINE KYARA. Only MINE."

She chuckled then pulled my hair causing me to winced in pain. I looked at her beautiful brown eyes then kissed her hungrily. She smile on my lips.

"I love you Devin" she whispered.

"I love you too My beautiful Kyara , promise me you won't leave me"

She pulled away then gave a quick peck. She noddded "I promise"

I pulled her closer to me then sighed in content.

"Good cause you're MINE kyara, I will never leave you"

>>>>> End of flashback <

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt my cheeks wet. For the first time , I Devin Easton Black the mafia leader and the strongest Alpha. Cried . I never cried before even when I heard my parents died. I kissed her picture with tears flowing down.

Where are you, Love? I miss you Love.

I will never give up. I will find you and keep you close by me and do anything to get you back. Please forgive me.

Slowly opened my eyes then quickly close it when it's too bright. I opened my eyes back finally getting a clear sight. I'm in a white room. suddenly the door opened revealing Jonnie wearing lab coat.

He looked at me in relief. what happen?

"Thank god you're awake. Before you asked let me explain to you what happened, well you hit your head pretty hard when you fall because you fainted after you cough out blood and thank god again, I'm there to help you to the hospital"

Really? all the memories coming back. I sighed then went to sit up with Jonnie's help.

He took out the clipboard probably containing my health information. His eyes immediately held sad emotion. Why?

"Jonnie, can I know why do I coughed blood ?"

He sighed, Sadness evidence in his eyes. He looked like he had an inner battle. It's like he's holding something back from me.

"How about, you eat first then we can talk about it?"

He hesitantly asked me. I sighed in defeat when my stomach makes noise. I didn't eat lunch and dinner before I fainted because I have no appetite at all.

He smiled but didn't reach to his eyes. He told me the breakfast will be here in two mins before he heading out to check on other patients. After two mins the old lady brought the breakfast, it's just a simple porridge. Hospital food will never get better.

After eating the breakfast, Jonnie came back to check on me.

"So? ...Can I know now Jonnie?"

He slowly nodded and pulled the chair to sit closer to me. I don't know but I felt something bad is coming. Brace yourself Kyara, just take whatever the results is you have to be brave and not WEAK.

"Kyara....How long have you been coughing out blood?"

"Umm, Last year but not often like this year. Why ?"

He took a deep breath. I don't know why but when he does that I automatically started to feel shaky to hear the result.

"I'm sorry Kyara, from what I get from your blood test is you're positive for C-cancer. It's stage 2 Lung cancer, I'm really sorry"

With that my world stop, L-lung Cancer? I took a deep breath trying to calm myself but tears keep falling. This is it, I guess the ending of my pathetic life. Jonnie pulled me into a hug trying to calm me down.

"You don't deserve this Kyara"

His voice crack while hugging me tightly. It's a lie if I say I don't need the person I love the most, Devin. I need him now and agreed at what he said. I'm weak, weak because I need someone to help me go through this. The person that I need is the person that calling me weak.

"Jonnie ?"

He hummed as the reply still hugging me.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Please don't tell Devin"

Instantly he pulled away to looked at me. He looked confuse at what I've just said. He shakes his head meaning 'No'. His face held completely disagreement.

"But why Kyara? He needs to know. This isn't some playful things. This is serious matter!!"

He said in frustration. I took his hand with pleading eyes.

"Please, don't tell him. It's enough for him to have a weak mate like myself. I don't want him to deal with a totally weak mate. I just want him to know that I'm weak mate as a human not more. Please just tell him when the time has come. I'm not talking to you in friend manner but take this as your Luna command "

I said with my Luna voice because this is the only way he can do my wish. I have to do it.

"Fine"

He said with so much anger clear in his voice knowing he can't defy his Luna instructions. He stood up and when to leave me alone.

I cried till my eyes felt heavy then let darkness takes me not until I was woken up with the crashing sound and loud voices to be heard. I heard people screaming in terrified. I was jolted up awake when I heard loud roaring booms through the hospital.

Suddenly the door flung opened revealing Devin. His eyes are totally red, when he saw me on the hospital bed his eyes turns back to his beautiful blue eyes. My eyes widened when he carefully walked towards me but stop when he stood near me.

"Love..."

With that he pulled me into a tight hug. I buried his head in the crook of my neck inhaling my scent. I know this will calm him down. I melt into his touch but quickly gathering myself when I remember what he said. I tried to pulled away but he hold me tighter. I keep trying but stop until I heard at what he said next.

"I'm sorry"

"I really really sorry,Love"

His voice broke when he said the second sentence.

"Why do you want me Devin? Why do you come back to your weak mate Devin?!"

I said with full of sadness and anger. Sad at the memory and Anger at him for regretting about our relationship.

"B-because I need my world, Kyara. Which is you, love. I know what I did is unacceptable and can't be erased by just apologizing. I admit that I'm the stupidest person in the world for fail to see how strong you are. I fail to see that the most amazing person standing infront of me will leave me. I fail by taking you for granted. I'm a fool for not appreciating you Kyara. Call me any names you want because I deserve it. I admit I'm a fool, stupid , a completely a$$hole , Monster. I take back all the bad words that I've said to you. You're nothing to what I've said. I'm really sorry because I can't control my anger. I let out my frustration at you which is the biggest mistake. I didn't kill people without a good reason, love. I promise I will never hurt you again but if I did, Kill me. I love you Kyara I really am. I miss you beautiful. This three days without you by my side is completely a hell to me. I can't live without you, Kyara. I Love you with all my heart"

I felt something wet hitting my neck. I innerly gasped when I know he cried. He never cry but not until now. He is so sincerely apologize to me making me feel touched and happy. Should I forgive him ? I don't have many time left by the way. The thought of spending my time with him until I took my last breath is breaking my heart. It's true time is a gold.I think I should forgive him but not completely.

"I-i forgive you, Devin"

I pulled away only to meet his eyes are now bloodshot red from crying. This sight making my heart break.

" R-really? thank you Love. I promise I will never hurt you again. I swear. I know you've forgive me but I will work for your trust, Love"

I wiped away the tears that falling down from his eyes. I gave him small smile and kissed his lips. Our kiss is full of passionate and love. we poured our love at each other. It's true I'm a weak but I'm weaker without him, Devin.

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