《The Man Between The Pages {Jikook} [completed]》~Panic with a twist~
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''Pretend that you don't hide a tiny bit of insanity
and you will instantly turn into a liar.
Cause if you don't admit it, craziness
will cause you problems. Many of them sometimes.
There's not a worst feeling than trying to hide a panic attack.
The sense that you are weak and the entire world has conspired against you.
You are suffocating but you arent't drowning.
You can't breathe despite having oxygen.
Don't ever forget,
People can be stronger than their anxieties.
It's like you are teasing the panic with a twist...''.
''Hi dad. Damn, do you have a sore throat? Your voice is still hoarse and we haven't spoken in a month... You should see a doctor, I think it's deteriorating... I am not writing anything actually, I am just living my life dad...I will try to draw inspiration from my own life... How the hell did you understand that?... Yes, I am seeing someone... His name is Jimin and he is so beautiful and kind to me ... Oh okay, take care ... I love you too'' Jungkook murmured and ended the call.
Odd. His father wasn't really effusive especially when it came to his son. The words ''I love you'' barely escaped his mouth and this time it was actually him who took initiative and said it first.
It's been a week. The most wonderful seven days of his life. Jimin had the incredible ability of making him smile with the simplest gestures.
On Monday they watched a movie. Jimin brought popcorn and doughnuts while Jungkook had covered his sofas with blankets and pillows. Despite the fact that they were staying in Jungkook's place, the raven haired wanted Jimin to choose the movie. He was expecting a romantic maybe vintage type of film yet Jimin's preferences really caught him off guard.
''A clockwork orange''? Really?'' Jungkook wondered when the movie started to play.
''It's a freaking masterpiece Kook. But don't worry, if you get scared you can hug me''.
''I was going to hug you anyway'' the younger chuckled and engulfed Jimin's lips with a kiss.
Jungkook averted his gaze from the screen to Jimin. The man's head was placed on the raven haired's shoulder yet his eyes couldn't leave the film. The caramel irises were gleaming from the candle lights - the idea of a cliché movie date now long gone- his concentration an endearing addition to Jimin's delightful habits. In the ending of the film Jungkook was so repulsed by the incidents that had just taken place in his screen that he decided not to eat the rest of his pop corn.
''Don't tell me you didn't enjoy this cinematic masterpiece Kook'' Jimin stated with a weird expression.
''The protagonist is a freaking sociopath who is fucking women and steals from people. What's there to like?'' he retorted.
''Kook... for your information I chose this movie for a reason''.
''To creep the shit out of me ?''.
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''To convince you that you can't be a sociopath. You watched the film, you observed how a true sociopath acts. The director did an extensive research on how sociopaths act on certain situations. He is a thief... You obviously aren't one. He is manipulating people and you don't. He is fucking women and you clearly don't'' Jimin emphasized the last sentence.
''Why would I fuck others when I have you?''.
Jungkook just chuckled with the memory. On Tuesday they met at Jimin's place and played board games. On Wednesday, they just talked about life, awkward and funny memories from school and holidays. Jimin was quite the story teller and the raven haired enjoyed listening to the man's stories. Thursday dawned and Jungkook woke up alone, the sensual scent of Jimin still lingering like a peck on the cheek on his sheets. They slept in each other's arms, the older's tight work schedule breaking them apart.
On Friday, despite Jungkook's many pleas, Jimin couldn't pay him a visit. He had to stay at work until really late at night and the younger understood that.
Saturday. Eight twenty-five. Jungkook was waiting for the older male patiently, his cigarette dancing between his fingers. He had had the most amazing week with the most fetching person. And perhaps today, Jungkook would have the guts to finally ask him to be his boyfriend. May haps Jimin thought they 're already a couple considering how affectionate they were but Jungkook just needed to hear the words. To live the moment of Jimin smiling and saying ''yes, I will be yours and you will be mine'' and kissing him till all the stars are counted afterwards.
His line of thought got interrupted when his eyes got a glimpse of Jimin's name on his papers. The blond was certainly the most unexpected, wonderful coincidence that had occurred in his not so wonderful life. And Jungkook wasn't controlling him. Jimin was staying with him because their feelings were strong and endless. It was this moment when a random, probably silly thought crossed his mind. What if he can control other people's lives?
Just by the thought that something like this could actually happen... Jungkook's fingers started to tremble, the cigarette falling from his hands. The man quickly grabbed it from the floor before causing any deadly damage however the cerebration couldn't abandon his head. And in a flash, Jungkook ran to his typewriter, typing down fast, the keys carelessly being pressed by his fingers.
''Kim Taehyung will visit Jeon Jungkook at eight thirty tonight''.
''Jung Hoseok will visit Jeon Jungkook at eight thirty tonight''.
''Kim Seokjin will visit Jeon Jungkook at eight thirty tonight''.
''Kim Namjoon will visit Jeon Jungkook at eight thirty tonight''.
From people he knew too well to someone he had just spoken once, Jungkook didn't know what was more preferable. If he was actually able to control them he wouldn't feel like he manipulated Jimin's life. If he didn't, he was really getting crazy.
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And when the clock struck eight-thirty and nobody knocked on his door, the brunet let out a huge sigh of relief. Until his mind became hazy, a thick cloud of fog blearing his senses. Like liquid apologies his tears fell on the papers, the drops landing on Jimin's name making it blurry yet somehow more evident. In a desperate attempt to prevent his mind from falling to potential insanity and mania, Jungkook grabbed the papers and threw some of them in his fireplace, the paper to fire contact erupting sparks of ink.
''Jungkook, open the door'' the soft voice echoed in his ears after five minutes or so. However Jungkook couldn't move a muscle. He was just standing there, in front of his fireplace observing his own words turning into ash.
''Kook? It's me, open the door. I finished work early'' he yelled.
The tears were stinking his eyes and if Jungkook knew better, he would understand that a panic attack was on its way.
''I am sorry... I don't know what is happening... I am sorry'' he mumbled, wiping his tears with the hem of his sleeves.
His heart palpitations, the sudden discomfort in his chest, the unsteady breathing were all indications of what was about to happen and the young man couldn't find the strength to scream, the voice to ask for help.
''For fuck's sake Kook! I know you are in, what's happening? Open the door'' Jimin shouted once again, each effort more fruitless than the previous one.
''I am sorry Jiminie...S-Sorry'' he stammered, feeling the sweat on his forehead.
The blond began to bang on the door repeatedly, having already thrown the bags he was carrying on the floor. He shouldn't be that upset yet oddly he was worrying a little too much. And quite frankly Jimin was trying his hardest not to use different measures. But truly -a reality Jimin would never admit to anyone- he was getting to intimate with the man. The only difference being that Jimin knew what love was.
And unfortunately Jeon Jungkook had the special ability of making him fall in love.
Neglecting the possible repercussions of his actions, Jimin shoved his hand in the jardinière. His fingers grabbed the spare key Jungkook used to hide in the flower pot and with quick hand movements, he unlocked the door and burst in the living room. His eyes scanned the place, a loud shriek escaping his cavern when he saw the man shaking as if he was dying from the cold.
''Sorry, forgive me... I am sorry''.
Jungkook's breath was trying so hard to leave his lungs yet the unbearable suffocation was repressing his chest. The fact that he had kissed someone he had created was making him feel dizzy. Jimin wasn't his puppet. What if his feelings for him weren't real? The only reasonable explanation that was going through Jungkook's mind was that he was being pranked.
He was being trapped in the cells of his own skin, a claustrophobic feeling he had never experienced in his life. An urge to rip his own flesh as if he was easily removing his insanity and problems along with it. Hyperventilating, his chest pounding and his eyes bleeding tears, Jungkook was observing the blurry screen of his living room as if it was playing his life, particularly the month he fell for Jimin.
Fidgeting, disconnecting everyone and everything around him Jimin placed a pillow under the younger's head. The pain growing in his head like an encasing vine the younger was trembling.
''Kook, listen to my voice and try to follow my orders. I am not touching you, okay? I am just asking you to breathe for me. Try to breathe for me... Take control of your body Kook. One hand above your belt line and the other on your chest. Do it for me'' he pleaded. He really wanted to hug the man's problems away when in reality he knew he was the problem at the first place.
The younger hesitantly began to move and Jimin ran to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. He opened a window, the room finally breathing fresh air.
After a good fifteen minutes, Jimin tentatively brought the younger's head to rest on his thighs and gently began to caress his hair.
''How have you been doing? How's your day?'' he asked him softly trying to distract him from what was happening. The younger took his time to answer, the apprehension decreasing as he felt Jimin's hand tenderly caressing his nape.
''I thought... I wouldn't see... I wouldn't see you t-today'' he muttered.
''I am here... Kook, let's go to your room, okay? Lie down, you don't have to sleep...'' Jimin managed to lift him up yet his eyes got a glimpse of the remaining files on the younger's desk. With anger written all over his features, the blond accompanied the man to his room and covered him with his blankets. Trying not to stare at the sleepy boy, Jimin locked the door behind him and climbed down the staircase.
Having closed the windows and placing the spare key back to the jardinière, he shoved his hand in his pocket, quickly grabbing his phone.
''Yes ?''.
''We never agreed on this. He experienced a panic attack! This could have caused some serious problems!'' Jimin hissed angrily.
''And how is that my fault ?''.
''Are you fucking kidding me Hoseok? Give him the phone, I want to talk to him''.
''He is busy right now. And don't fucking ruin this now''.
''You were fucking him Hoseok! That's different from what I am doing...He is getting crazy''.
''For you... He is falling for you Jimin. And that's exactly what we want. Just don't fall for him and you're good''.
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