At 9:46am I am discharged from the hospital. Walking out those doors was quite a scary feeling, I was released back into the world to live my life once more. I feel very conflicted, like something is sitting at the bottom of my stomach, it's because I haven't told the boy's that I've been discharged. They'll be disappointed right? That I didn't tell them, that I just left without a word but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I feel as though they are mad at me, maybe not mad but they have to feel some sort of hatred towards me because of what I tried to do.

I arrive home. As soon as I open the door I expect everything to be a mess but to my surprise it isn't, it's been cleaned. The floors look as though they have been vacuumed and the windows have been wiped. The couch is neat and the rubbish that I had left on the ground had been picked up as well. Not only that, my kitchen was stocked with food, drinks, anything you could think of, I've never seen it this full before. I then entered the bathroom, I expected to see dried blood stained on the cold tiles and maybe reminiscence of water but no, there was nothing, it was spotless. It looked as though nothing had happened, that I had never did what I did.

I sit against the wall, my thighs hitting the tiles sending shivers up my spine as memories of that day suddenly flood my head. I look at my wrist, still stitched and bandaged. I could pull them out and this time I would probably die, it would all be over but I don't think I want that, not anymore at least. My mind has been so fuzzy since that day, I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know how I can continue to keep going as it had never happened, that's what all the doctors were saying, to forget was best. I don't know if I can though and god what I put those poor boys through, imagine how they are feeling, how they must of felt.

I jump a little to the sudden noise coming from the door. I stand up quickly and make my way to see who it is. I open the door and it's Yoongi, seeing his face again makes my heart jolt, in a good way of course.

"Hey Yoongi" My voice is very quiet, I feel melancholy yet happy as well.

"Why didn't you tell me you left the hospital?" He seems hurt, it's in the tone of his voice.

I walk away from the door and I plop myself down on the couch and I cross my legs, he sit's next to me, so close.

"I'm....I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I don't know why, I just left not really thinking about anything"

"I understand I guess"

There's an uneasy feeling in the air and honestly I don't know what to say.

"I came by and cleaned your apartment. I hope it's okay"

I smile brightly because of his efforts for me. "You cleaned it? Thank you, I really appreciate the help. I'm sorry you had to clean the bathroom though, I should've been the one to do that" and once again the feeling is uneasy.

"It's not a problem really, it was better to just get it over and done with"

"Still..." He cuts me off.

"You know Y/n I read the letter your left"

"Oh..you did?" I look away, suddenly I feel as though I shouldn't be looking at him. "I'm sorry"

"Please don't be sorry, just know you are not a nuisance, you are not annoying, you are not hated, you do not cause conflict, you did not ruin our career, you make people happy, you are kind, you are funny, you are talented, you are intelligent and I love you. You hear that? I fucking love you so much and I am never going to let you go again"

"Yoongi... I love you to" I can't help but smile at this moment in time, everything negative seems to fall away like it's nothing.

"On that note I forgot to tell you, BigHit figured out who was stalking us and who released the article"

Suddenly I spark up eager to know who it was, I forgot all about that and yet I still feel so anxious.

"Who was it?"

"I know this may seem hard to hear Y/n but it was Ji ah, the girl from your class"

"Ji ah!? Really? I mean wow, she was so kind to me I mean I never even suspected her"

"She wasn't a good person, Namjoon and I talked to her just before we... never mind but we talked to her and yeah she confessed"

"Wow" and once again I suddenly feel sad and I think Yoongi can sense it.

"Please don't let it weigh on your mind though, everything will be okay"

I slowly nod my head, I need to forget about it but..

"Yoongi I think I'm going to quit my job"

"No! You can't quit. You're good at your job, you need to stay there"

"I don't know Yoongi. With everything that has happened and now with Ji ah I'm not sure if I can go back"

"Don't quit yet okay. Just wait a little bit"

"Fine then, I wont quit yet". I stay silent, pouting my lips and then the memory of the article pops into mind, I never knew what happened because of it." Yoongi what happened with the article, was it taken down?"

"No but Bighit are going to release an official statement saying that it isn't true unless you want to confirm them. We can go public if you really want to you, if you don't want to keep our relationship a secret anymore"

I think about it for a second. Making our relationship public I mean, we wouldn't have to hide anymore yet I don't think I can do it, not now at least, not with everything that has happened.

"Yoongi I... I would love to one day but at the moment I'm not ready for that. I promise one day I will be though"

He nods his head. "Yeah I think you're right, I'm not ready either" He smiles and scratches the back of his, he's so cute.

"You know what?"

"What?" I say playfully. My mood has risen significantly since he's been here.

"I think I'm going to stay with you for a bit after our comeback promotion is done. I think I'm due for a break"

"Really?" I happily say.

"Yep, I hope that's okay?"

"Of course, we can do what ever you want!"

"Oh also speaking of comebacks I want you to come to one of our shows"

"You want me to come and watch?"

"Yep"

"What if someone see's me?"

"Don't worry, you will be with me behind the stage the entire time. You wont be in the crowd so no one will see you"

"I'd love to come and watch. I've never been to a concert or seen a performance before"

"I'll be your first then" While he says this his eyes look so bright and lively, it outweighs the dark circles that have accumulated underneath them.

"Yoongi I know you're busy but I was wondering if I could stay with you and the boys for a bit again, I wont get in your way, I promise. I just don't want to be alone, not in my apartment at least, I don't want to do anything I'll regret again" I say this very suddenly, I think it took him by surprise a little.

"Of course you can Y/n. We love having you stay with us" I feel relieved, loved, it's nice this feeling.

In no time at all Yoongi and I travel together back to his dorms, not once does he let go of my hand. I think that he feels as if he has to protect me now, honestly I can't blame him for feeling that way.

We both walk through the door. I haven't been here in such a long time, nothing has changed. Instantly I am greeted by Tae and Jungkook who both hug me, it isn't as tight as they usually do though, I think they feel as though they have to be careful. "Y/nnnnn. We missed you"

"I saw you yesterday Jungkook" I say laughing a little.

"Still, I missed you"

"Hello Jimin" I say holding out my arms hoping for a hug as he walks into the room.

"Nope, I'm mad at you" He has a pout on his face, and refuses to look at me.

"Why?" My voice becomes low.

"Because you didn't tell us that you were discharged from the hospital" Crossing his arms he continues to face away.

"Stop being so harsh Jimin, we don't have to know what she's doing all the time" Hoseok enters the room as well and wraps his arm around me stealing the hug that was meant for Jimin.

"Aishhh everyone stop hugging my girlfriend, shes mine" A jealous Yoongi all of sudden says pulling me away from the boys, holding me tight.

I wake up in the middle of the night, the blankets tangled around my legs. I move my body across the bed to find that Yoongi isn't next to me. I grab my phone to check the time, 2:47am, what could he possibly doing at this time at night?

I stand up and my legs are a little weak as I am not fully awake yet. I quietly make my way through the boys dorms hoping to not wake any of them up. I see a light appearing from under one of the doors. In the room is full with a bunch of music equipment that Yoongi often uses. I haven't really been in there before because I usually don't want to disturb him when he's working but tonight I felt lonely.

I slowly open the door, it takes me a little bit for my eyes to adjust as the light that is illuminating my face is so bright compared to the darkness I was just walked through.

I don't think he's noticed me yet as his eyes are glued to the screen. I plop myself down on his lap and wrap legs around his waist and my arms around his neck so I'm giving him a bear hug. I rest my head on his chest and I listen to his heartbeat.

"Why are you awake?" He says now giving me all of his attention.

"I couldn't sleep" A yawn escapes my mouth as I say so. "What are you working on?"

"It's a secret"

"A secret?"

"Yep" My eyes begin to become heavy and my breathing becomes soft so I don't argue. "Come on, let's go back to bed" he quietly exclaims noticing how tired I really am.

He picks me up leaving my body in the same position it was in before, my head still resting on his chest. He caries me back to his bedroom and gently places me on the bed and lays down next to me. By this point I'm almost back to sleep.

Yoongi laying next to me begins to once more admire my features without me knowing, a small smile planted across his face.

"Yoongiii" I say softly, the words barley making it out of my mouth.

"Yes Y/n?" He says gently moving the hair out of my face.

"I love you Yoongi"

"I love you too" And with that I had fallen asleep. Yoongi continues to look at his beautiful girlfriend who lays next to him, he wasn't ever going to let her go, not for as long as he lived.

I hope everyone is having a great day or night💜