《Will You Love Me? (A Medieval Reylo AU)》ƇӇƛƤƬЄƦ 2
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Ƙylo sat on the floor in a dark cell with his head in his hands. His whole body ached, both from sitting on the hard stone floor and from being beaten by the dungeon guards several times. They all hated him and found it as good sport to beat him whenever they felt like it. But he was used to this kind of treatment and worse... far worse. He could have easily fought them off, but he didn't. He deserved this and more.
He had been here for several days. He wasn't sure how many because he had lost track of time. It seemed to be an eternity, yet at the same time, it seemed time was moving too fast.
He wasn't sure about anything anymore. He wasn't even sure who he was; was he Kylo the murderous general, or Ben the prince who'd lost everything...who's parents didn't seem to want him? He was so confused, he didn't want to be here but he didn't want to go back either. He wished that he could just run away...flee to some distant kingdom. But even if he could escape this dungeon he knew that there was nowhere he could go that Snoke or his followers wouldn't find him. His spies were everywhere.
Even though he had no desire to return to Snoke, he did want to go back for the sake of his knights. They were little more than children and he felt responsible for them. He loved them like brothers. It was because of them that he had been captured, to begin with. When Christopher the youngest of the knights was about to be taken, he had offered to go in his place.
He didn't regret that decision, but now he was worried for them. Who will protect them if I am gone? Certainly not Snoke. He had to protect them from Snoke more than outside attacks, he couldn't let Snoke turn them into monsters as he had done to him.
I am a monster, created by Snoke to do his work. I deserve to be in a cage...he shook his head. No, I deserve to die.
He almost wanted death, it seemed to be the only way he could be truly free, but he was afraid to die too. He was afraid to face God after what he had done. He knew there would be no forgiveness for him. He was lost, beyond all hope of being saved. And he was afraid for his mother, would she ever forgive herself if she allowed him to die? He doubted it, he knew that she may very well grieve herself to death if she gave him that sentence. He didn't want her to share his fate, he couldn't bear the thought of her dying of a broken heart, it would be better if he'd been killed in battle.
Tears stung his eyes... no, it would have been better if he had never been born. He'd caused nothing but pain and grief, nothing good had come of his life and he feared nothing good ever would.
There was a part of him that wanted to tell his parents the truth so that there could be an understanding between them before he was sentenced to death or banishment. But he knew the truth would only hurt his mother and he couldn't bear the thought of that. He would rather for her to see him as a traitor than tell her the truth.
(Art by Raven-shadows )
꧁❀꧂
King Han and Queen Leia had called a council meeting to discuss their son's fate. They didn't want to do it, but although they were the king and queen, they didn't have a choice. The council was made up of not only nobles and advisors from Alderaan but also her neighbors. It was an alliance formed to stop the war that Snoke had started, a war that had spread beyond the borders of Alderaan.
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They couldn't simply make a decision on their own, Kylo Ren was considered an enemy not only in Alderaan but the neighboring kingdoms as well. If the decision were theirs alone perhaps they could have simply offered him a second chance now that he was old enough to make his own decisions. But the council would want his punishment to be more severe, and not bringing this matter before the council could tear a rift between Alderaan and her allies.
King Han and Queen Leia entered the council room and sat down at the long table.
"We have called this council meeting to discuss the fate of our son, Prince Ben," Han spoke in an official manner, not with his normal charismatic charm. But he did a good job of keeping his emotions from entering his voice, no one could see the fear he had for his son. No one, except Leia who shared it.
"This is a very difficult matter," said Lando, the baron of a large shire in Alderaan. He was one of King Han and Queen Leia's most trusted friends and allies. "He is an enemy general, he joined Snoke in his rebellion against the throne, but he is also Alderaan's only heir, the last of the royal bloodline."
The king and queen nodded.
"Nonetheless I say that he deserves death," replied King Edgar of Hoth, a kingdom to the north.
Queen Leia stood. "I can't allow him to be sentenced to death. We sent him to be Snoke's apprentice, he was only a child who was influenced by an evil man. Snoke used him." She shook her head, tears threatening to enter her voice. "I cannot allow my son to die for my mistake, I would sooner die in his place."
King Han placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned down to whisper in her ear so that no one else could hear. "I would never allow you to do that and if I know our son at all...neither would he."
Leia nodded gravely, guilt still present on her face.
King Han turned to address the council once more. "Besides, he may have information that can help us."
Lando nodded in agreement.
"I agree," Queen Natalia of Naboo spoke up. "If we sentence him to death it would only fuel Snoke's cause, but if we give him a lighter punishment, show him mercy and allow him to join our cause, others may follow. Ben was a person of influence in Snoke's ranks and surely if we show him mercy and give him a second chance, others who look up to him will surrender willingly."
"Then what punishment should he receive? Banishment?" Edward, one of the chief councilors asked.
Han shook his head. "Banishment won't help us. We wouldn't be able to get information from him whenever we needed to and Snoke may find him."
"Then what do you suggest, your majesty?" Edward asked.
"I suggest that we give him a chance to redeem himself, he will be stripped of his title as Prince of Alderaan and not be allowed to leave the castle grounds unaccompanied until Snoke's rebellion is defeated. And he must help us stop the rebellion in any way that he can...give us all of the information that he has on Snoke's forces, help fight against him if need be, act as a spy within Snoke's ranks if he earns our trust well enough. And if he fails to do so he will be thrown back in the dungeon." Han swallowed hard. "If he betrays us he will be sentenced to whatever fate the council sees fit."
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The other council members nodded in agreement. They could gain nothing from killing him, but they could use him to win the war.
Lando folded his hands on the table in front of him. "In case he doesn't agree to help us or betrays us. Or though I pray it does not happen, you pass on before he has earned back his right to be Alderaan's king...who will inherit the kingdom, your majesties? You need to choose an heir."
"Luke is next in line to the throne besides Ben," Queen Leia said.
"But Luke doesn't have an heir either, my lady," Edward pointed out. "You need to choose someone in the case."
The king rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But who?"
All of the council members began speaking at once, each saying that they or a member of their house should be chosen.
Queen Leia slammed her fist on the table. "Enough!"
Everyone fell silent.
Leia looked at each of them in turn. If they chose any member of the council, it could tear a rift between Alderaan's alliance with another kingdom. "We all need to work together if we're to win this war, not fight for power. That's what started this bloody war, to begin with."
Lando nodded. "Let's not make this about politics. What if you get Prince Ben to take a wife your majesties? Then she or your grandchild could be the heir to the kingdom if the prince betrays us."
The king and queen exchanged thoughtful glances.
"A decision doesn't have to be made right away, your majesties," Edward pointed out.
King Han nodded. "We need to talk to our son alone before that decision can be made. We haven't seen him in sixteen years, for all we know he could already be married."
Leia nodded sadly, they didn't know their son anymore. In her dreams, she'd always seen the same boy who left come back to her, but that boy was gone. He was a man now, a man she barely knew. She sighed even when he was a child she didn't spend as much time with him as she now wished that she had.
꧁❀꧂
King Han and Queen Leia sat in the throne room together waiting for their son to be brought in.
A group of guards brought him into the throne room, his hands were cuffed and he looked down at the floor not wanting to meet their gaze. The prince knelt willingly, but wouldn't meet his parents' gaze. He was too ashamed.
"Ben, we have discussed your fate with the council. If we banish you, you will probably rejoin Snoke, so we have decided to confine you to the castle grounds. You're not allowed to leave unless we tell you to, and you won't be allowed to leave unaccompanied. In addition, your title as the prince of Alderaan has been removed." The king looked down at his son.
Ben forced the tears back as he stopped himself from begging for a death sentence. How would his mother feel if she knew that he had given up on life? When he turned himself in, in exchange for Christopher's freedom he had almost hoped that he would be given a death sentence so that he could finally be free of... he shook his head, he didn't even want to think about that.
"Yes your majesty," he replied at last. His voice was solemn and he managed to keep his emotions from entering it.
"There will be none of that, you're still our son. We're not going to disown you just because you made a wrong decision." Han smiled slightly. "We still love you and we always will, no matter what."
"Thank you, father," he said, though he felt that he didn't deserve to be their son anymore. He didn't even deserve to live, let alone still be called their son.
"We're willing to give you a second chance, Ben." There was compassion in his mother's voice as she spoke. "And so is the council, if you help us stop Snoke...give us any information you have, fight if need be; your punishment will be lifted."
Ben swallowed before he spoke to keep his emotions from entering his voice. "Thank you mother, I do not believe that I deserve a second chance. But I do want to make it up to you...and to the kingdom for what I've done."
Leia smiled sadly at him. "Then tell us everything that you know about Snoke, please." She spoke the first part in the commanding voice that he was used to, but with the last word, she was almost begging him.
He knew that his life probably depended on his cooperation, he didn't care about that, but he did want the chance to make things up to his parents before he died.
"Contrary to what you've been told I have no loyalty to Snoke. I would be happy to tell you anything you need to know...on one condition," Ben replied.
Han looked at him. "You're in no position to be making conditions, son."
"I know father, but I can't tell you anything unless you promise that my knights...my brothers will be spared...that no harm will come to them. They're not much more than children, young teenagers none of them over sixteen. They were all children when Snoke took them from their homes. It was up to me to train them, but it wasn't long before I was doing more than that. Defending them, raising them as if they were my little brothers. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them because of me. What kind of man would I be if I sacrificed the lives of my brothers for my own?
"I would gladly die in their place, the soldiers didn't tell you the whole story. They took the youngest of my knights, Christopher, captive. They didn't capture me as they say, I turned myself in willingly in exchange for his freedom..." he swallowed trying to pretend that he didn't care, but the tears in the corners of his eyes betrayed him. "They were going to kill him as an example, he's only thirteen almost fourteen."
"I'm sorry, Ben," his mother whispered, she sounded heartbroken.
"We will do what we can son, but I'm afraid that I can't make any promises. Sometimes things happen out of our control in battle," his father replied gravely.
Ben nodded, knowing all too well that his father was right. "I'll tell you everything I know."
His mother approached and placed her hand on his cheek. Her eyes scanned his face seeing all of the bruises and cuts from his recent battle and the aggressive treatment of the dungeon guards. "Rest for now, we will have a meeting as soon as General Koren returns."
Ben looked up at her and nodded.
Her thumb traced the long scar that went down his cheek. He hadn't had it when she saw him last and he knew that she must be curious about how he had gotten it. He hoped that she wouldn't ask, it was a painful reminder of the worst day of his life.
"I'll have one of the servants take you to your room," his mother said before looking at his father.
"Unchain him," King Han ordered.
The guards did as they were commanded.
"Rey," Leia called.
Moments later a short girl with almond eyes and black hair emerged. "Rey's not here, she's out picking flowers."
His mother nodded. "I forgot, she always goes out at this time of day. I was hoping you would get a chance to meet her, later perhaps."
Leia turned to the girl. "Rose, can you show Ben to his room please?"
She nodded. "Yes, your highness."
Ben looked at her, he was sure that he knew her. He'd seen her before, but he couldn't remember when and where.
She led Ben through the halls to his old room. Neither of them spoke as they went.
"Right here," she said, opening the door for him. She offered a warm smile that was so genuine that he was almost certain that it couldn't be for him. Why would anyone smile at him after what he had done?
"Thank you," he replied simply.
Once she left, he sighed and went into his old room. It was just as it had been when he left so many years ago. His desk still had his art and writing supplies, the shelves still held his books.
He had missed this place, the security he had felt. But now that was gone, his parents had sent him away twice. What security did he have that they wouldn't do so again?
꧁❀꧂
That evening, Ben sat at the table having dinner with his parents. He wasn't really eating though, more picking at his food; he didn't feel like eating. Why did his parents do this? Why didn't they just throw him in prison? He would have felt better if they had at least let him work for his food.
He'd been sitting here for almost an hour, no one said anything. An awkward, uncomfortable silence gripped the room and made him want to run away. He hadn't seen his parents since he was thirteen, he didn't even know what to say to them. He'd imagined this several times, and he had always had a thousand things that he wished he could say, but now none of them came to mind.
"We're glad to have you back, Ben," Leia tried to spark a conversation.
Maybe she did want him to come home after all. His parents had sent him away, he always thought that it was because they didn't want him around.
"Thank you, mother," he replied quietly.
"Now that you're here, it's time for you to start taking on some of your duties as the future king," said Han.
Ben looked up and gave his father a pained look. He didn't deserve the throne and he didn't want it, he wanted nothing to do with it. He'd caused the kingdom enough trouble as it was and he was afraid that if he became king he would only lead Alderaan to ruin. "I thought my title as the prince of Alderaan was removed."
"Only temporarily. Once you earn back our trust and the trust of our people, you will be crowned as prince once again."
"Father... I don't deserve the throne, not after what I've done. Isn't there anyone who can take my place?"
Leia shook her head. "You are the only heir, other than your uncle; but you are also his only heir. And we have no other relatives. If something happens to us this responsibility will fall to you, that's why we need to prepare you now."
"I can't do it, I'm not like you, I'm not strong enough to rule the kingdom. I can't do it alone," he answered.
"Ben, no one ever said that you have to do it alone, you'll get married one day," Han smiled.
Ben looked away, trying to hide his emotions. "No one will ever love me," he repeated the words Snoke had hammered into him since he was thirteen years old.
Leia placed her hand on her son's shoulder. "Ben, that's not true, we love you."
The phantom of a smile appeared on Ben's face hearing his mother say that she loved him. "I love you too," he placed his hand on hers. "...but you know what I mean."
He didn't want to keep talking about this, it was starting to make him feel uncomfortable; so he decided that he would just go to bed. He didn't want to admit it but he felt hopeless; he could never fall in love, get married and have children. He wanted those things, but he didn't deserve them. He didn't want to ruin anyone's life...Snoke had always said that he would be a terrible husband and a terrible father. He couldn't help but fear that Snoke was right.
He stood up and kissed his mother's forehead. "Goodnight mother."
He turned to his father and nodded. "Goodnight father."
Han nodded in return, then Ben left the dining hall.
Leia watched him with concern as he walked away. "He seems depressed." She shook her head as she looked at his plate, he'd hadn't even eaten half of his food. "We don't know what he's been through...what Snoke might have done to him."
Han sighed, nodding. "But he's right, he can't rule the kingdom alone. I don't think he's ready for this, and I'm beginning to worry that he never will be."
"What are we going to do?" she asked, distraught.
"Why don't we find a nice girl for him to marry?"
"Han," she scolded as if he were joking.
"I'm serious, maybe Lando is right," he answered. "It needs to be someone we can trust, someone who could help him rule the kingdom after we're gone, and someone who would brighten up his life."
"But who? Baroness Tilda has been trying to convince me to arrange a marriage between Ben and one of her daughters, but they're both rude, arrogant, and selfish; I would never ask Ben to marry one of them. Queen Natalia isn't quite old enough to be married yet, not to mention she's Ben's second cousin and she has her own kingdom to rule. Most of the nobles want Ben's death, none of them would let their daughters marry him."
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