This is about Killjoy Institution, a school for teenagers who suffer from various anxieties, obsessions, and overall issues. Although it mainly focuses on 4, all these kids learn to overcome their different hardships and eventually form long lasting relationships that will continue for years to come.

Side note- the nicknames of these characters used to represent their issues are song/album names. I developed each personality based on my interpretation of each song/album name and certain lyrics or just the general theme that I got from them. I also made a playlist for this story with all of the songs and albums used in it called "Killjoy Institution Playlist", as well as the second one entitled "KI Second Generation Playlist", but that one will come later during the sequel (that I am already planning out as we speak). I gave out my youtube before, but in case you missed it, it is "motherqueenone" if you wish to find the playlist. I hope this story is enjoyed. It's easily one of my favorites.

While your cover is clear and simple, it also looks like you've done the bare minimum. The quote presented on the cover is hauntingly beautiful, but I can hardly see it through the bright red background. A piece of advice when creating a book cover is to avoid using neon red. It takes the focus off the cover, and the red is all that your potential reader can see. It can throw them off and push them away. Take the time to think about how to create a cover that can represent your story. Maybe the principal characters are featured from the story. Maybe it's a symbolic object referenced heavily throughout your story. Whatever it is, it has to be significant and it should draw in your readers. If you struggle with making covers, don't panic! There are so many talented cover makers on Wattpad who will gladly work on your cover for free.

Your title is definitely unique! Yours is the first book that pops up when I type the title in the search engine for Wattpad, and it has a clear connection to your stories that your readers can understand. You did a wonderful job with choosing the title!

I'm impressed by how short and concise you made the blurb. You didn't give away the entire story, and you clearly did a lot of thinking about what you should add or take away. One red flag I'd like to point out is how you started your blurb: "This is about Killjoy Institution..." It sounds like you're writing a summary for a book report in school. Remember that writing a story is like writing a song. If you're struggling with how to start off your blurb, I suggest writing several beginnings and choose the one that appeals to you the most. You could even start off with the action that sets the story in motion. "After this and this happens, ___, ___, ___, and ___ find themselves in Killjoy Institution, a school for teenagers..." Do you see how I've seamlessly incorporated the kickoff of your story without making it sound awkward or strained? You can also look at other stories on Wattpad. Find good blurbs that attract you to stories. What methods do other authors use? A quick side-note: I also suggest that you write out numbers. Last, you don't need to include the second part of the blurb where you explain the names of your characters. If you write your story correctly, your readers will know what you mean through reading about your characters.

Reading your hook, the mysterious aura you've incorporated enticed me, and it made me want to learn more about the institution, the students, and your chief characters. Your prose is gorgeous, and the diction you've used here is breathtaking. However, it might be a little too vague. Were the four teenagers together? Where in the school did they explore? What were their feelings? If you're trying to give your readers some insight of their current predicament, I suggest incorporating sensory details/imagery to draw in your readers and make them feel like they were there. I don't know what the institution looks like. I don't know what the students look like. I know nothing, except for the fact that they were simply there. Your hook could definitely be longer and stretched out. Don't be afraid to focus on even the tiniest of details.

I was pleased and impressed with your grammar, because I only caught two types of mistakes frequently happening in your story. One is your use of commas. This error is extremely common, and I find myself addressing this issue for everyone I critique. Remember that for commas, they are used as a break to separate different clauses in a sentence. Try to think of a sentence with several topics. You want to separate each topic so your readers don't get confused. If you write, "She ran away but couldn't help thinking," there are two "topics" here. One is that "she ran away," and the other is "she couldn't help thinking." Since you've merged these into one sentence, you need to separate them with a comma. The correction would be: "She ran away, but couldn't help thinking." You can do more research on commas on your own, and I've only pointed out a few I've caught. Keep this in mind for when you are writing or editing your writing.

Another issue I've found are your tense slip-ups. There aren't many, but there are more than I would like to see. When editing your story, I suggest focusing on catching tense slip-ups. Remember that you are writing in present tense. Words such as "was" and "didn't" should be replaced with "is" and "don't."

From reading your first three chapters, I have caught no spelling errors at all. I'm so impressed by this! It's clear that you've worked hard at cleaning up your writing and making it more understandable for your readers. Still, just in case, I suggest that if you don't already, you can type up your story in a Google Doc, Word's document, or other place to store your writing. That way, nothing will happen to your writing if something happens to Wattpad, and if you save your story as a PDF, it's been proven to make it easier to catch spelling mistakes from reading it as a different format. This is a neat little trick I find helpful when editing my story. Along with that, changing the font can also help you catch any grammatical/spelling errors. Changing your font to something more minimalist like Ariel or Comic Sans (temporarily) makes your writing more neat, and you can edit your document more thoroughly.

I have seen different TV shows and books use the same concept that you've incorporated in your story. There are a lot of stories out there with troubled teenagers going to institutions to help solve their problems. Then again, there is no such thing as a completely "original" idea, so if you stick with this story plot, I suggest you develop it further so it stands out from all the others. What plot twists can you use? How does your story end? If you have a definite storyline that differs from others, then your plot will be solid and stand out from others.

One thing I've noticed that I want you to focus on is your POVs. You switch between your characters so often that I can't remember who is who, because you don't settle long enough for me to get comfortable with one character and get to know her/him better. When writing your story, I suggest you stick to at most two POVs per chapter, and don't switch POVs unless you really have a reason to. Don't switch POVs just because a new character is talking. Switching between characters should be carefully planned out, and meaningful for your readers. Along with that, you've introduced so many characters that I can't keep track of who is who. I suggest you introduce them slowly, one by one. Don't provide descriptions for the background characters. You can do that later on in the story as soon as your readers know who is who between your main characters. Try focusing on the four main characters of your story, and more about their personalities.

You have a clear and definite writing style I can detect through your writing. I can see though that at times, you ramble through your paragraphs. Try sticking with what is important to the plot, and how to structure your sentences. There are many instances where you write an entire paragraph that can be tightened into one sentence. You use a lot of filler words such as "uh" and those can be removed to make your writing more clear to your readers. Along with that, don't be afraid to weave in some descriptive language! You used a lot of wonderful diction in the first part of your prologue, but seemed to have forgotten about the rest of your story. I want to see descriptive language flowing evenly through your writing, to keep it consistent and to keep your readers from leaving. So Johnny's eyes are beautiful? Try to describe that more. You could talk about "flecks of gold" swimming in his deep, russet eyes, or the painted sorrow illuminating in the depths of his hazel eyes. Don't be afraid to experiment and have fun incorporating this stuff into your writing!

Your story flow is disrupted many times, mostly because of your POV changes. It ruins the build-up and tension of your story. Just as I'm getting the hang of being in Johnny's head, we suddenly switch to Rose's POV, and I have to start all over again. Can you see how this can be tiring for your readers? Over time, your story flow will improve on your own. It's okay to have time skips and "the next day..." because that's what's important to your readers, not the stuff in between. Keep working on seamlessly transitioning through one scene to the next (you could use foreshadowing, dialogue, actions, etc) and it will shine through.

As I've mentioned earlier, your hook is a little vague, and it doesn't give away anything that the reader won't already know. Therefore, if your hook is just one paragraph, then you switch to three months earlier, that first paragraph isn't necessary at all. I suggest lengthening it and adding in information that may surprise your readers.

I've noticed that you switched POVs frequently throughout the prologue, and I find it to be excessive. I understand you are trying to introduce each character to your readers, but you have an entire story's length to do that. You don't need to cram all these characters in the very first part of your story. Try writing in only one character's POV and go into more depths of their personality and why they are being sent to Killjoy Institution. I recommend never writing in over two POVs per chapter, because it can confuse and dizzy your readers.

In paragraph 2, "mom" should be capitalized because it is being used as a proper noun (your character is referencing a specific person).

"God could this get any cheesier?" (paragraph 2). You are missing a comma here. Along with that, it looks like you're writing in present tense, but you slipped up here and wrote in past tense. Correction: "God, can this get any cheesier?"

I have learned little about Ruby in her POV. This is a bad sign, because it shows that this portion of your prologue isn't contributing to the plot and will hold little to no significance to your readers. What does she look like? Also, try to get into more detail why her parents are sending her to Killjoy Institution. Don't just tell your readers, show them. What's her personality and behavior, and how does it contribute to this change? What did her life look like before her parents sent her elsewhere? In order to really see the impact this decision has on your character, your readers need to know what life was like before that decision.

In paragraph 3, "mom" needs to be capitalized. Unless you are saying "My mom," the word "mom" is used as a proper pronoun here. Rose is talking about a specific person. "Mom" is a title for the person, like a name.

I understand you wrote about Rose's POV as "Sebastian" on purpose. However, I've had some trouble wrapping my head around it and it was confusing. I suggest clearing up any misunderstandings and explaining the situation here so that your readers won't get confused and lost. Chances are, if readers don't understand something, they will leave your story. Again, if you choose to write the prologue in Rose's POV, go more into detail. This section was very vague, and I learned nothing except for the fact that he was gay (which your readers could have learned later in the story).

In paragraph 6, you are info-dumping. An info-dump is where you pile background information and explain more about your character all in one place. Some readers may find it boring. Take this chance to be creative with how to present this information. You could reveal this through dialogue, actions, or thoughts. Maybe you could use a flashback to explain something. That way, your readers will learn something without feeling like they're learning anything.

In paragraph 8, I like that you've provided a brief and physical description for Johnny. Can you expand on that? "Light brown hair" is a generic description, and your readers will have a hard time remembering Johnny out of all the other "light brown-haired" kids in the world.

"If I'm already shy, how is going out of state to some school w/some kids I don't know at all going to fix that?" (paragraph 8). Here, I suggest you write out the word "with." If you don't, it may look unprofessional and lazy for your readers. Along with that, you could tighten this sentence. For example, you could take out "at all" because your readers will already get the idea. You can shorten it to "... with some kids I don't know going to fix that?"

In paragraph 9, don't just tell your readers that Blurry has anxiety. How can you show this to them? Maybe his nerves skyrocketed at the thought of Killjoy Institution. Maybe his hands started shaking, or his throat went dry. Then, you can proceed to reveal this information more clearly through direct contact with your character. Maybe Blurry had a conversation with his dad about anxiety, or he had a flashback of a panic attack that could have prompted his dad to send him to Killjoy Institution.

In paragraph 13, if Helena is having a thought, I suggest you write it in italics to have a better effect on your readers.

Again, in paragraph 2, if your character is having a thought, I suggest you write it out in italics.

"She sees me and waves and I wave back." (paragraph 3). You are missing a comma here. Correction: "She sees me and waves, and I wave back." Can you see how these are two different clauses?

In paragraph 4, the teacher introduces herself as Helena, then tells the students that they can call her that. This last bit of information is excessive and unnecessary, because if the teacher introduces herself as Helena, then naturally that would mean she expects her students to call her that.

In paragraph 5, when Helena is speaking, I feel you can tighten this entire paragraph. This is information that your readers may find boring. How can you present this in a more concise manner? For example, I would just say, "Helena sighs and continues. 'I'd like you to introduce yourself with the respective nicknames I've mailed you. That way, you can learn to embrace your issue and learn to fix it.'" You should use your own writing style to shorten this, but do you see how I've tightened one whole paragraph into two sentences?

In paragraph 6, I suggest you write out numbers. Say "sixteen" instead of "16."

"'No dear.'" (paragraph 7). You are missing a comma here. These are two different clauses. One is that Helena is answering a question, and the second is that she's addressing a specific person with that answer. Correction: "No, dear."

I've noticed throughout this chapter you've used the filler word "uh" repetitively. This can get tiring for your readers, and while this may be normal in real life conversations, it's hardly used in books. If you're trying to address hesitance or nervousness, you can present it in some other way. Especially through body language, facial expressions, and actions.

In paragraph 10, again, I suggest you write out numbers. This applies to the rest of your chapters.

In this entire chapter, you info-dump. You don't have to talk about every single character and their problems, because your readers will have a hard time remembering all of this. Instead, you should focus on the character from the POV you are writing in. I learned nothing about Blurry during his POV. I suggest that maybe he tunes out all the other introductions because maybe he's nervous about his. Then you can go into depth about Blurry and his introduction.

There was no point in writing in Johnny's POV unless you planned on extending his introduction. You could easily write about his introduction through Blurry's or Rose's POV. If you wanted to let the readers know how he felt, then try to elaborate on his nervousness, and stick with his POV for the rest of the chapter. Again, you have an entire story to write through everyone's POV; you don't need to cram in all these characters in one chapter.

In paragraph 22, I don't know if you meant it for the paragraph to come off as funny or not, but I laughed while reading it (not in a mean way). I can definitely see the dynamics between your character, their issues, and their differences. This had me more engaged in your story, so well done!

The rest of your chapter, you talk about every single character. Try not to get distracted and focus only on the four main characters. The rest isn't important to the story. If you want to slide in these details, you have an entire story to do so without info-dumping.

"Bleach Blonde Baby was her name." (paragraph 37). You have a tense slip-up here. Correction: "Bleach Blonde Baby is her name."

Again, in paragraph one, you've used the word "uh." This is unnecessary to the conversation, so I suggest you take it out.

I can see that you have a tendency to make your characters stutter a lot. If you are trying to convey emotions such as nervousness or frustration, you can show that through body language and facial expressions. You don't need to have your characters mumble all the time because your readers can find it hard to focus on what they're saying.