《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: The King and The War Dancer
Advertisement
The King and The War Dancer
TONYANN
Fantasy, Erotic, Romance, Short Story
Sets what type of dancer she is. Love the change of front.
Sweet and straight to the point.
OMG the dancing I can imagine her dancing. The slow change of thinking she's performing for a crowd and then to only be dancing in front of one man.
One word.. Oh Snap...This King is one Badass
OMG
Woah
SHIP IT!!
Oh Snap..Brother
Coward move, but needed to be done
My heart!
4.5 💙💙💙💙
Amazing word choice. OMG as you can tell above, I read this whole short story. I couldn't stop reading it. I was a little bit confused about her born curse. You might need to explain that differently or it could just be me. Some words misspelled, just read through it.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial8 Chapters
Deck Of Life
An orphaned child suffering from recurrent nightmares finds his waking moments similarly arrested from his control upon entering his 16th birthday. Now owned by the excitable young master of the Mag family, a diminishing alien power of a bird-like race known as the Corvid, he seemed to have exchanged one prison for another. Forcibly thrusted into a gladiatorial arena he finds himself embroiled in a war severely out of his league with little choice of his own. When the time comes for a decision to be made, will he fall or rise.
8 169 - In Serial16 Chapters
Dive Deep
In the not-so-distant future, the Pacific Northwest of America Secedes from the United States and founds the first true democracy named Cascadia. This democracy is founded on technology and has proven itself to be a stable and successful model of government. Its citizens enjoy higher technological levels and happiness than anywhere else in the world, and that has led to the explosive takeoff of professional gaming. This is where our heroes step in. Jose, Laurel, and Nathan are determined to break into professional gaming but had no success until a mysterious backer offered them the ability to join the most anticipated game of all time, a full immersion VR game called Infinita. This is their story.
8 356 - In Serial43 Chapters
Restarting life as a peasant
This is a kingdom building story with deep moral questions. A person who has been fallen into hopelessness in his previous life gets a new chance at life in a fantasy medieval world. He isn’t from first world countries. His first life wasted fighting noble but hopeless causes like fighting against corruption. When he restarts as a peasant he decides not to fight evil, just join the flow. Although he starts as a peasant one thing is sure he will become great and powerful. But will he become a hero or villain?
8 230 - In Serial11 Chapters
Elder's Game
In a world set upon by an ancient threat, a new cycle of civilisation competes for power and resources. Amidst the games and politicking of Elder beings, the masses are unknowingly ensnared in plots and schemes that were centuries in the making. At the heart of the world’s workings lies the Tyreal Valley—a land that promises to fulfil the desires of those who seek it. As a haven for the truly strong, the path to this promise is paved more often than not in warfare and blood. To two young stragglers fighting for more than just their own fates, it is left as their only answer. But maybe that’s just what their enemies want. Magic system vaguely similar to GameLit ones (no system nor interface to help), with certain elements that are a bit more analogue. Politics, war, looming apocalypse, a tiny dash of kingdom building, and a minor bit of crafting. There is a bit of a progression element as well as both environmental and cultural exploration. The story follows two youths more directly influenced by aforementioned Elder beings than most. Neither lead cares for politics but certain situations force them into participating, forcing them to make decisions that shape their morality. Initially, the focus is on the male lead as he comes of age in an environment with little scope to change his future, only to be thrust into new circumstances that permanently kill some of his hopes. 3k words every chapter
8 112 - In Serial11 Chapters
djinn's child
a young boy named Cazlid who wants to grow like his new father. Doran who has two goals to find his love, and help Cazlid grow an adventure for a new family to grow
8.18 111 - In Serial28 Chapters
Sasuke Reaction To Naruto Ships
Sasuke Reaction To Ships
8 252

