《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: The King and The War Dancer
Advertisement
The King and The War Dancer
TONYANN
Fantasy, Erotic, Romance, Short Story
Sets what type of dancer she is. Love the change of front.
Sweet and straight to the point.
OMG the dancing I can imagine her dancing. The slow change of thinking she's performing for a crowd and then to only be dancing in front of one man.
One word.. Oh Snap...This King is one Badass
OMG
Woah
SHIP IT!!
Oh Snap..Brother
Coward move, but needed to be done
My heart!
4.5 💙💙💙💙
Amazing word choice. OMG as you can tell above, I read this whole short story. I couldn't stop reading it. I was a little bit confused about her born curse. You might need to explain that differently or it could just be me. Some words misspelled, just read through it.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
Perspective is Ki (DBZ, YJ, OC)
Aiden Neve, a CEO of a construction company wakes up inside an Attack Ball that is headed on a course straight back to earth, and it only gets stranger from there. Complete. Young Justice. Dragon Ball Z. OC.
8 126The Spark
Michael Locke was a normal student, who went through his normal day in a normal fashion, until the day became... unnatural. Shot into the country of Aldemar and thrust into a new world alongside his many classmates, he agrees to work for the king in exchange for shelter and to learn magic. Fate however, is indifferent to his wishes, as he quickly realizes that he may be a hero, but his purpose in this world is quite opposite. Suddenly surrounded on every side, Michael must work to survive, and if anyone finds his secret... He's as good as dead. The Spark is meant to be a murder mystery style isekai, focused on the existence of basically an anti-hero, with every one of the large amount of heroes attempting to discover who the traitor is. This isn't made to be a lovey dovey easy going isekai with an OP mc, it's made to stir around an emotional story, with many dark tones. Still, the goal is to stay fairly light hearted as well, and the perspective will pass around to several characters throughout the story.
8 195Wanna play the game of your life?
A young man dies and gets the chance to become an Avatar. Surprised that our world is just like a big game he starts anew as an insignificant guy with ideas of becoming great. Join his ride in our not so boring world.
8 66Reformat: Adventures of a Battle Academic in a Primitive Land
Have you ever thought of starting things over from scratch? What do you want to make of it? Professor Nicholas King dies fighting against the tyranny of his current government. Supposedly that's game over, but the supernatural intervenes - he is reborn to live a second life in the primitive land of the River Kingdom as Linus Daedalus, of whom many consider a genius, yet for the cautious, suspicious. Follow Linus in his quest of transforming the barbaric land of the River Kingdom in Reformat.Note: Please bear with the inconsistencies in the storytelling style. The author is dedicated to refining his technique, thus changes take place all the time. Enjoy reading.
8 179Toxic Love
You thought they were crazy and confused before?
8 70Just a bunch of OneShots, please request anything!There is smut- so yee, if you don't like it just skip it
8 66