《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: Dracula's Tempestuous Bride
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Dracula's Tempestuous Bride
SassyRoe
Paranormal, Vampire, Forbidden Romance, Fantasy, Elf
LOVE IT. Sweet and Simple. Love how the only color is Red.
States the topic and problem for the characters
The gif boy. "It's my baby" Best line ever!
Well there goes Toby.. Thanks I was starting to like him...
Haha.. that must have hurt...
AWWWWWWWW!!! MY HEART!!
5 💙💙💙💙 💙
I don't even know where to start!! This is soooo GOOD and it's only the Second Chapter!!! I'm not very big on Vampires, but Count Dracula, that's a different story. When I have time I'll definitely read on. Keep up the good work!!
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial6 Chapters
Mana Pool Snippets - Keystone
Scott, Katie and Jaruka’s slow day became eventful when a family friend’s daughter breaks into the house. She just turned thirteen and gone through terran transformation, but her parents threw her out of the house for being a magical freak. Can the three settle the dispute and bring peace? Or is the damage to great to heal when the alien mercenary tries to help?
8 112 - In Serial9 Chapters
Witnesses Speak
In a semi-utopian universe with people living in upmost comfort there are only few that go out of their way to murder and steal. Most of them are not threatening everyday life, but there are a few that are powerfull enough to cast fear in people's minds. Most powerful of them being Adalie. Our main character-Arnold unfortunately encounters her. She decides to spare his existence but transports him into a world full of war, a crippled world, our world. The year is 1939 and WW II has just started. He was reincarnated as a soldier with special abilities. He can still use magic, but his existence in our world comes at a cost. Every time he dies he is reborn as a soldier in a random nation. Those who were once his comrades may now very well be his enemies... Image was taken from Google images. If you are the author of this image and want to take it down, please message me. There may be some historical inaccuracies due to compromisation for the plot progression. Also due to the nature of this fiction, the historical genre will shift more into alternative history.
8 99 - In Serial11 Chapters
No Longer Alive
"Sometimes, I wonder who is more human? Dazai or the world." Inspired by Dazai Osamu's "No Longer Human" (Ningen Shikkaku)
8 169 - In Serial24 Chapters
Jeremy Finds A Dragon
Jeremy, a teenage boy with a freakish talent for the clarinet, is less than thrilled when his mom announces that they’re up and moving to a tiny village on a tiny Scottish island the summer before his senior year of high school. But Dunsegall turns out to be an okay sort of place, if you like cliffs, sheep, and small-batch ice cream made by a family obsessed with Ray Charles. Two teenage locals — Colin and Aggie — quickly pull Jeremy under their wing and decide to give him a summer he’ll never forget. Everything is mostly fine until one day, in the depths of the woods, they stumble across a two hundred year-old monk and a living, breathing — or, rather, snoring — dragon who need their help. Together, Jer, Col, and Aggie delve into the hidden history of the island, getting up to their elbows in heresy, Highland Games, and, somehow, romance.
8 116 - In Serial6 Chapters
They Are Our Smols
You’ve read They Are Smol. You’ve enjoyed They Are Smol (if you haven’t, well, prepare to not enjoy this one either). But this is smols like you’ve not seen them before. This is extreme smolness with a lemon twist: smols fucked up big time in this one, and Earth, well… Earth is empty of smols. At least the ayys hope so, because it’s fallout time back there. The ones that got away — and let’s face it, it was all of them that were left — had no place to go. Homeless, smol and needing protectings, they were taken in. For the lucky ayys out there, they’re our smols. This is a not-so-serious slice of life alternate universe where the entire population of Earth, what was left after the dead man’s switch was flipped and the nukes successfully irradiated the planet, were evacuated en masse and then taken in by the galactic civilization at large. I’ll probably write a few more in this silly, comfy alternate timeline to expand on what’s different, but don’t take it too seriously, okay? I do not take credit for the original setting, this story is set in an alternate version of the 'They are Smol' universe, written by the one, the only u/tinyprancinghorse.TPH takes many forms and is known by many names. He is like Nyarlathotep, only smaller and cuter and more prancey. TPH also has a Website and a Patreon.
8 62 - In Serial12 Chapters
My bully, My king, My mate
Danny has been feeling the abuse of his king for years. Everyday he has been bullied and tortured by the one who is supposed to protect him. Finally the moment he's been waiting for has come, the blood moon. His king will finally find his mate and get out of his hair. But what happens when he finds out that his bully and his king, is also his mate.
8 238
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