《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial107 Chapters
In Range
A young, talented, and aspiring archer makes his way to the Olympic Archery Qualifiers; however an accident prevents him from ever making it. An accident which took the final years of his adolescence, his dream of ever becoming an Olympic Gold Archer, and most importantly someone who meant the world to him. Rehabilitating for a year in a hospital, the despair and dread of being alone and having nothing left worth living for finally got to him. Finding his way to the rooftop, he decided fall, but where he expected death, something else appeared; a blue message. A chill and simple LitRPG story that I just wanted to write. Note: I write with the Dark Theme setting, so if I make a colour mistake it’s probably why. I also strangely prefer using the Imperial System to measure Height, while I use the Metric System for almost everything else (Canadian by the way).
8 328 - In Serial8 Chapters
The Frozen Rose Garden
If you stab someone with a sword and they survive, they change forever. Their body holds a memory of the wound. When a rift opens, the world is thrown into disarray, and even after the rift has healed the world remains changed. Three girls travel to the capital to find their answers while the empire seeks to reform itself when a new emperor is crowned.
8 74 - In Serial13 Chapters
An NPC Challenges the Dark Lord(LN)
Yami is the Dark Lord of the reigning #1 RPG game on Earth for 100 years. The Dark Lord takes the skills of other players that are a threat while serving the Game God who codes game updates. The Game God reports illegal activites happening around the universe of Endless Probability in order to punish those who break the rules. The Game God has secret plans for an NPC, Sam, who will also be stuck fulfilling his designated role by the Game God. Yami and Sam battle countless players, bosses, The Myths and other entities The System decides to release unto the world to bring balance or destruction
8 78 - In Serial15 Chapters
Human & [Inhuman]
In a modern Japan just like our own, unbeknownst to the general populace, there are [Inhumans] who are capable of channeling [Soul Energy] into unique [Magic] through their physiological differences from normal humans, as well as [Compatibles] who possess an excess of said [Soul Energy]. [Inhuman] and [Compatible] are designed to work together, to complete each other. In such a world, underground feuds between bloodlines are common, and no duo is safe from destiny. Perhaps love can yet blossom on the battlefield? This is a piece that heavily takes inspiration from animanga/japanese light novels, and is also sort of an experimental piece to see if combining the exposition style of japanese light novels with the narrative and descriptive techniques of western literature can work. Prepare for two-person team battle action, romance, as well as some slice-of-life on the side.
8 98 - In Serial15 Chapters
Re: Corruption
A man gets butchered by a person he considered a friend, when he finally tasted death, he wakes up, thinking it was all a hallucination.He relives the last moments of his life, how he was brutally murdered, for a reason, which is now unknown to him.He slowly loses more and more of his old memory, until he only vague remembers, that he was once a human.Follow him, as he is reborn, reincarnated, as one of the lowest living creatures. And how he is destined to rise again.---------------------------------------Before you think wrong of my choice of race for the mc, I want to inform you that although he starts as a Goblin, he will be nothing like Rou from Re:Monster (which is one of the main inspirations for this).---------------------------------------This is my first fiction, so I would love some feedback or your opinions in general. English isn't my main language either, so if you see any mistakes regarding grammar or anything else, please inform me. I don't plan on ending this fiction anytime soon, but due to school and work I may not have time to write chapters on a frequent base. Btw later on there may be Romance included, so I will put these into the categories, but don't expect anything sexual to happen in the first few chapters.
8 170 - In Serial13 Chapters
{♡MCYT X READER ONESHOTS♡}
A/n:I won't be putting nsfw actions but there might (Might!) be some curse words so just a little warning =DThis is not the first story I made but it would be the first I might publish and finish.Also, small note, whenever I type something like this ---It means theres a short timeskip.
8 102
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