《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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The Mystery of the Real Live Dead Person
An insane case walked through his door one morning. Every ounce of his insanity would be needed if he hoped to crack it. Come with him on a journey through the seamy underbelly of one of America's least cities, as he confronts anarchy, corruption, giant lizards, beautiful women, unhinged vigilantes, irreconcilable duelists, organized religion, taxation, and a teenage runaway, uncovering not only the brutal foundation of our system of law, but the nature of God Himself. And through it all, even in the darkest moments, he steadfastly manages to avoid getting paid what he's worth. Available on Amazon.Master story list here.
8 167 - In Serial18 Chapters
(OLD)Play On! My Lovely Goddess!
Link to rewritten story: https://www.royalroad.com/my/fiction/20813 Will write another story with this LitRPG + Superstar thingy on another fic once im done with the rewrite.
8 178 - In Serial33 Chapters
The Villainess who has Reborn Five Times
The villainess who has reborn five times just wants to rest in peace. I am Odette, I was once an heiress who had it all, be it money, status or fiance. When my perfect stepsister appeared, I realized I was just a villain in this story. I, being the evil stepsister, was of course killed off halfway through the story. When I opened my eyes again I was reborn, but no matter what I did, I died in the end. Having experienced burning on a stake, the guillotine, hanging and stabbing to death, all I wanted now was to die normally after a normal life. Please let me rest in peace!
8 246 - In Serial9 Chapters
Unlimited Blade Works
Ango's Third life, after having nothing in his first life, and losing everything in his second, how will he decide to live his third in the fate universe as Emiya Shirou. Harem with a couple of servants, and a new format for the holy grail war with just a tiny bit more servants than usual.
8 61 - In Serial133 Chapters
The Nameless Warrior *New Cover*
Since her father's suspicious death eight summers ago, Kindra has trained to become her tribe's first woman warrior. Although she completes the whipping ceremony to prove her strength and make a blood-bond with the tribe she fails to receive her warrior name. She's determined to earn her name in battle, but her plans change when the enemy Obsidian tribe claims her priestess sister as restitution for the war. To Kindra's surprise and horror the new chief allows them to take her sister. Rumors widespread at her father's death are whispered in her ear once more. It was the new chief who poisoned her father, they say. It was the new chief who sold her sister to the enemy. It was the new chief-not the War God-who refused to grant her a warrior name. Although she didn't believe the rumors in the past, Kindra begins to doubt the chief. When new evidence emerges it threatens to place the entire tribe in the hands of the Obsidians. As the last living descendant of the War God, Kindra's the only one who can depose the chief and save her tribe, but it will mean giving up the quest to rescue her sister, and the hope of ever becoming a named warrior.
8 222 - In Serial42 Chapters
By The Light Of The Moon
What do you get when you mix a trader woman, a cursed werewolf, a dangerous forest, and a sadistic warlord? Nothing good.On her way home from a summer of trading, Olivia didn't want to hire a cursed werewolf as an escort, but he was the only one willing to guide her over the treacherous Navier mountains. Not only do they have to contend with bandits and dangerous animals lurking among the trees, but they also have to dodge unscrupulous war parties who are determined to track them down.They forgot one thing though - curses don't play by the rules.----------------Please note that this is NOT a love-at-first-sight or matebond werewolf style of book, nor does it have werewolf ranks like Alphas, Betas, or Omegas. This book isn't a horror story. It's more of a fantasy-adventure theme.This book has nothing in common with my other werewolf stories.New chapter will be posted every Tuesday at 8AM MST!
8 145
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