《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
Advertisement
From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
Advertisement
- In Serial70 Chapters
The Demon and The Angel (Complete)
Book 1: In the Virtual Reality World of Aurora events begin unfolding behind the scenes unseen by the masses. When the God of Evolution woke from his slumber he only brought misfortune to some by unconsciously cursing them. Though unfortunate they also hold fate on their hands as they grow in power they will soon be the greatest powers in the three realms. Back to their most primal form watch how a young imp and fallen angel fight to grow and regain their lost power and their rightful place as the Prince of Demons and Princess of the Gods before a new Great Celestial war comes hunting for their lives baring their fangs at the changes to the world their very existence are causing. PSS: Please vote and leave reviews i want to know how the story rates not only overall
8 237 - In Serial12 Chapters
DISSOULVER
It was supposed to be a chill holiday with friends and family. Another world, no problem. It was supposed to be fair and safe. No powers, no problem. It was supposed to be... I'll kill them all, no problem. This story follows Jay, who - due to higher powers - is summoned to another world. He might not be loving it, but he wasn't supposed to be betrayed, left for dead, tortured, and sentenced to death. There's a gray area between love and hate, but Jay's world is red. --- *The story will occasionally switch perspectives throughout* Chapters will be released weekly, maybe two if I have a chance to write a bit more. Check out my other work - The Tale of Aza, the Villanous Hero Bodyguard.
8 87 - In Serial113 Chapters
Army of the Damned
"When are we gonna go home?" as the man in a General uniform looks at the beautiful setting Sun. An Isekai about Politics, Strategy and War. Players suddenly got transported into an Isekai world. Our cast of people are forced to accept the new world and adapt or die. They have the means to do damage and commit war, but are now forced to face the music of morals as now, they're not playing with Code. But actual human life. What will they do? What choices and mistakes will they make in their attempt to go back home?-Story by KFCLover from Archives of Stories
8 136 - In Serial7 Chapters
Random smut shots
Random smut shot idea fully written out.I will take requests 👍Ships so far: Steddie (stranger things)Ships I will write if you want:
8 187 - In Serial58 Chapters
Trust Me (Daryl Dixon x OC)
Raven Walker is a Marine Sniper when she returns home to surprise her brother and honoree family. When she discovered the world she use to know a rotting and disgusting mess. She spends most of her time by herself trying to survive and find her family. That is till she finds herself helping to save a certain cop, who reunited her with her long lost family. She certainly wasn't expecting to fall in love in this new world. But a new world will bring unexpected surprises. What will these surprises bring her?"If I was to kiss ya' would you remember. Or would you push me away?" -Daryl DixonTHERE IS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE IF YOU'RE NOT OKAY WITH THAT OR OVERLY EASY OFFENDED DO NOT READ IT!!!I DO NOT own any of the TWD characters all that credit goes to those creators. The only character that I own is Raven Walker. I have already had people steal her from me and I will not tolerate that. Now if you want to do a side story for her message me. But don't try to be sneaky. Thank you so much darlings.
8 131 - In Serial20 Chapters
jevon oneshots (jake + devon)
one shots of jevon !! jake wheeler and devon evans :)) check out one day (another book of mine) on my page !
8 200
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
