《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial18 Chapters
A Mighty Conqueror
"I found out, the greatest ones. The best. The most prolific ones, were all momma's boys. Yea, afraid of their mother. Napoleon, Alexander, Genghis Khan." Mike Tyson on the Greatest Conquerors. Well, this is a cultivation story about a momma's boy. Will he conquer the known world? Maybe, just maybe. Atuel had heard many stories. All had said that the worst days were accompanied by rain, thunder, and dark clouds lead by powerful winds. Yet, he had found it to be the exact opposite in reality. On the brightest, most peaceful day, did his father disown him and throw his mother out of their home. It was on a sunny afternoon that he went from the honored son of the City Lord, to the untouchable son of the witch. Said witch was his mother, the kindest soul he had ever seen. Instead, it was the Saintess that had schemed for his mother's demise that was filled with a black heart, enchanting the people with a nice smile and kind words. All to take his mother's position as Head Wife. Now, he and his mother must struggle to live and rise from the ashes of their societal death. New and powerful must they be, or death will only meet them with extreme prejudice. I suck at synopsises... No harem. No spitting blood. And certainly no jade beauties... maybe a few jade beauties... Okay okay! There will be jade beauties! But no spitting blood! I will not negotiate!
8 178 - In Serial27 Chapters
Systematic Supremacy
A story of an individual with a cursed past and an unknown future. Follow the journey of Theo trying to find his purpose in a world full of cultivation, magic, and other mystical arts. What happens when someone without a will to live finally gains freedom along with an absurd amount of potential? Will he pursue strength in a world that values nothing but power, or will he decide to live a quiet and normal life for the first time? This is a story of a man with a system (yes, I know, very original), cursed with the faith of a protagonist. Whether he will follow the road of humiliating swarms of ignorant young masters asking for a beating, or carelessly pick up love interests from all corners of the world is yet to be seen.This story features many different realms and power systems, so if you enjoy novels with massive worlds and endless exploration, this is for you. Although it has a system, it is more of a manifestation of his own power and mysterious origin, not some gift from God.This is my first novel, and I am not a native English speaker, so the grammar won’t be perfect, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
8 219 - In Serial14 Chapters
Death God's Adventure in Another World [Dropped]
Feeling tired of the continuous and repetitive work of reaping souls and sending them to be reincarnated for countless millenias, the Death God decided to take a vacation for a few centuries. "We never knew when did his legacy start, nor how it ended, but one thing is for sure, he was regarded as a hero, a saint, a demon lord, and death incarnate." - Excerpt from 'Biology of Unforgotten Existences' A/N: Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped Dropped
8 64 - In Serial48 Chapters
ALÉM DA CORTINA [português]
A história dos anjos, desde quando tomamos consciência da própria individualidade, poderia ser a história de cada um de nós. A vida não é um caminho linear, mas uma estrada cheia de entroncamentos, cada um uma possibilidade, que nos leva a novos desafios, a novas experiências. Em algum momento, no início de sua estória, o UM pensou em você, e pensando o criou. Então, repleto de um amor indescritível, disse apenas para você: “Vá e experimente os espaços que criamos juntos, e me deixe me ver em você. Mas saiba, amado Meu, que nunca te deixarei, que você nunca estará só”. E aqui estamos nós...
8 243 - In Serial77 Chapters
ALL I KNOW ▷ GIF SERIES
"baby if you let me, i won't hesitate".
8 405 - In Serial19 Chapters
The Black Phone Oneshots!
Oneshots of TBP, bc some of y'all like to ask me to do shit (Which I don't mind, btw!)
8 97
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