《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial17 Chapters
Ortus (Old Version)
This is an old version of the heavily edited and rewritten Ortus This is the story of a woman named Riza. Riza is a woman who wakes up in a forest with nothing, remembering nothing, and on the cusp of death. The only thing she has is a weapon stuck in her side and, after a tangle with a wild boar, something called 'life aspect'. Little does she know that life magic is considered a dead-end branch and is largely outlawed across the world. None of this matters to her, of course. For one, even if someone tried to tell her, she doesn't know the language. Number two, have you heard about the sunk cost fallacy? Riza is not some chosen one, nor is given any boon she doesn't deserve. Instead, she's smart and methodical, and experiements on how to maximise every opportunity, every ability, presented to her. She doesn't just take things at face-value but instead explores just what limitations there are. This often involves maths.
8 98 - In Serial30 Chapters
Firakha - Of Monsters And Gods
"What have I done...?"The world around her fell into ashes as her knees sunk deep into the ground. Around her were flames, higher than mountains, threatening to consume everything but her. A thick awareness was settling itself into her bloodied body.Murderer. A single tear dripped from her cheek into the floor. A whisper, broken. "What have I done..." In which a star is reborn into a world of immortals and gods with nothing but a heart filled with curiosity for the world. But finding herself and her path proves easier said than done and in the Plane of Gods, good intentions can sometimes bring the worst disaster of all. Content Warning: This story contains scenes depicting violence intended for mature audiences. However, these scenes only make up a small portion of the novel, they will be announced with warnings at the beginning of the chapter and you can skip them if you're uncomfortable with such content.
8 149 - In Serial32 Chapters
Red Overpowered
Logan is an orphan born with a genetic anomaly that gives his eyes the color red. Taken in by a benevolent family, his life will change dramatically. And he will be called to discover a new world invoked by it. As a hero? Certainly not, he will now follow his own path.
8 98 - In Serial10 Chapters
Sacrifice
Mages are known for their fury and evil. When one comes to the Prince's court, Princess Bree sacrifices herself and goes with the wizard in exchange for her family's safety. But common knowledge may not be rooted in truth. There may be more to the mages, and the other magical races then meets the eye. And maybe even more to Bree herself.
8 274 - In Serial24 Chapters
Emperor's Reign
One day, crystals rain down from the sky, being absorbed into all humans. The crystals allow one to transport their consiousness to an alternate body in the Heaven Domain. Join Aeron as he builds his empire in this new, fantastical world. Concept and system based off The Lords Empire. Inspired by Doom Lord, The Lord's Empire, and The World Online
8 319 - In Serial36 Chapters
Fighter's Heart
He's tattooed, cocky, and hot as hell. The MMA superstar everyone loves to hate. Now it's my job to clean up his image...before it's too late.I never meant to become the P.R. specialist for the biggest jerks in professional sports. Unfortunately, I built a reputation for turning douchebags into media darlings, and now I'm stuck.I know all about men like Jase Rawlins and have the emotional scars to prove it. I want nothing to do with him, but my boss makes an offer I can't refuse. My dreams are finally within reach, and the more I get to know Jase, the more I wonder if I've gotten him all wrong. He may be bossy and infuriating, but he's hiding a heart as massive as his ego.Can I trust the feelings growing between us when my career and his freedom are on the line?
8 230
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