《Critique And Editing Info》Critique: From NE to Cali
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From NE to Cali
MusicStoryLover05
Teen Fiction, Adventure, Life
LOVE IT. Cute and straight to the point!
Sweet and straight to the point. States the topic and conflict.
Establishes the main character and her friends are close and are in High School together. We see her character and interaction with other people.
Be careful with present and past tense. Needs a little bit of spell check.
I like how this story is going. It's what I would call a sweet and fluffy read. There is no major problem and you don't have to think. I do have one question... Did she really eat the puppy Chow??
4 💙💙💙💙
Keep writing, it's just in it's first stages. I might read on, but I have a hard time reading Complementary books.
Rate from 1-5
💙💙💙💙💙
1: Poor/Needs MAJOR editing
2:Almost there/ needs fixing/need practice
3: Good/Needs a little editing
4:Good/Needs a little editing/may recommend/may read on
5: EXCELLENT/will recommend to followers, friends/may read on
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- In Serial109 Chapters
The Soul Saga
Meredith Childs dreamed of being the best Guardian one could be, protecting the world from all that would harm it. Working her days at her parents’ garage, she never took her eyes off that distant horizon. However, the one thing she lacked was the one thing that made all the great Guardians: the ability to use magic. Yet when Flame Commander Royston Masters arrives in her small town and takes an interest her, Meredith is put on a path of adventure with her best friend Eddie, leading her straight to the Guardian Corps and its trials along the way. She’s not alone, either; not with a floating boy, an obnoxious girl her age, magical climate zones and a Beastmaster whose bark and bite are both unknown. Not to mention a shadowy threat lurking just beneath the surface, inexorably tied to their dying world and the myths of its past. With her journey just beginning, and many souls on the line, Meredith will have to strive forward and fight for her dream, magic or not…
8 225 - In Serial35 Chapters
Freshman
Beam runs for his life. Where the fuck is Phana Kongtanim when he needs him?!Owh, yeah... he is now has a boyfriend and no longer could be always available to save his ass everytime he accidentally fuck someone dangerous's girlfriend.Fuuuuck....Beam jumps of the fence between restaurant on the side street, still running from ten angry Geography students when he sees a group of blue jackets in the ramen shop. He knows one of them. Forth Jaturapoom.He runs towards the Engineering students and pulls on Forth's blie jacket. "Lend me your jacket!"Forth nearly fall from his seat, his friends frozen confusedly and Beam could not wait for Forth agreeing his request as he just pull it off to borrow it. "It's urgent!!!"Forth let his Engineering jacket being taken off and sees as Beam wears it and then push him and Lam away to get a seat on the bench between them. "Just act like nothing happened!" Beam says.But Engineering students are too simple minded, they froze good when confused. Just then the five Engineering students on the table finally see the ten angry Geography students roaming on the street. And so they chat like nothing happened and Beam succeed hiding between them.***
8 141 - In Serial32 Chapters
Reincarnated in a Post-Apocalyptic World as a Krsnik...
Full Title: Reincarnated in a Post-Apocalyptic World as a Krsnik, so I guess I'm a Vampire Hunter now, and nothing will ever be the same After dying a horrible death in the stomach of a dragon, Kai is reincanated thousands of years later in a post-apocalyptic world as a Krsnik, a shapeshifter, whose destiny is to defeat the Kudlak and the Demon Lord that rules over all... if he doesn't somehow make everything 10x worst. RPK is a RealRPG fantasy set in a post-apocalyptic world with cultivation. (This is just the first draft and as such will have grammar issues, inconsistencies, and plot holes. -- Thank you!)
8 191 - In Serial16 Chapters
Walking in Shadows
In a world filled with magic, anomalies have surfaced across every lands. Enter Robert Ross, a seemingly fifteen year old boy employed by a mysterious benefactor to investigate these anomalies in a city residing within a valley. Although the mission is a dire one, Robert wasn't one to disregard his indulgence and pleasure, especially when the city has so much to offer. Simple Version: MC has hidden OP powers. Hired to solve mysteries by an unknown powerful benefactor. Gathers bunch of girls while off duty. Harem-seeking during the day, badass at night. A/N: I posted the same story on my Scribble Hub account of the name; EnroItzal.
8 59 - In Serial35 Chapters
E.C.H.O.
Working for E.C.H.O, an organization which does literally anything for high paying clients, Lucas has done more than...well the average teenager his age. From hacking into government databases, infiltrating guerilla groups overseas, and jumping out of planes while being shot at, he would rate his life as somewhat exciting. However, despite all the successful jobs he's completed, Lucas is about to face his biggest challenge yet...to infiltrate Ellison Boy's High. Will he succeed in his mission or will things end up a complete disaster? His journey and the final outcome, my dear reader, depends on you.
8 168 - In Serial52 Chapters
second best // dnf
| completed |the dream team meet up in Florida for two weeks in the summer. everything is fine to begin with however, dream has a crush on george but george has a boyfriend. then, after a while sapnap also develops feelings for George. will these three best friends remain best friends when all of their secrets start to unravel...angst :)tw/cw: blood | death | hospitals | panic attacks | alcohol | violence | gore | language |please read tw and cw before reading the story as they are not listed in the chapters| Sequel currently being re-edited |
8 186
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