Arbaaz casually bounced down the stairs. Nawal had gone to make them sandwiches. He wondered as his stomach growled, why wasn't she back? "Nawaaaal?" he shouted from the bottom stairs. When there was no response, he lazily strode to the kitchen. Nawal's head was on the table as if she was dozing off resting on the table. Puzzled, Arbaaz shook her but she felt heavy as if there was no life in her. He pushed her shoulders back and gasped looking at the blood flowing from her wrist.

"Oh Allah, OH ALLAH!!!"

He cried and started slapping Nawal's face in panic, "Nawal wake up. Nawal please don't do this. Please don't." he pleaded.

When there was no response for his lifeless sister, he quickly thought of what to do. His heartbeat sped and he started perspiring. He had to think fast and take action even faster. He had seen many action movies he knew what to do in emergency. With trembling hands, he took out his phone from his jeans pocket and dialled the emergency number. The woman answered right away, "Hello? Yes, my sister has cut her wrist and she is bleeding a lot. She has become unconscious." He said breathlessly eyeing his sister.

"Ok first I want you bind something on the wrist to stop the bleeding." The woman calmly explained.

Bind something? His eyes wandered in the kitchen then his eyes landed on the tea towel. He grabbed that and tightly wrapped it around her wrist. It was slowly soaking in blood.

"I did b...bu...but there is too much blood."

"Please give me your address we will send an ambulance straight away."

He hurriedly mumbled his address and the line was disconnected after few more instructions given by the woman. He swallowed and scrutinized his sister. There was blood on the table, on the floor and on Nawal's dress. How much blood had she lost?

He swallowed and again dialled another number with his trembling fingers, "D.dd...d..Dad," he stammered.

"What is it Arbaaz?" Shabbir asked.

"N...n...Nawal cut her wrist and she is bleeding a lot. She is unconscious."

"WHAT???"

He gulped, "Yes"

"We are coming."

He shook his head vigorously, "No no the ambulance will be here soon. I will tell you which hospital they take us."

Just then sirens were heard. Arbaaz disconnected the call and ran up to the front door. He yanked it open and two paramedics were standing with various medical equipment. He ushered them to the kitchen.

"She is in here," he breathed waiting silently for what was to come next.

They lay her on a stretcher and she was then being carried to the ambulance. Arbaaz grabbed his jacket, stuffed his feet in his trainers, pocketed the house key and hastily followed them. Arbaaz seated by his sister. The noisy ambulance sped through Dublin streets. He scanned his sister's pale face while the paramedic took out the wrapped bloodied tea towel and placed a strong long gauge that stopped the bleeding. The paramedics then checked her vitals. Her blood pressure was low and her heart beat was slow as well. Arabaz swallowed the emotions in his throat, taking his sisters uninjured hand he whispered,

"Don't leave us Nawal. Please don't. We all love you."

Tears streamed down his face as he gazed at his unresponsive sister. Biting his lip, he felt guilty for leaving her alone. Shutting his eyes and more tears flowed, he supplicated.

"Ya Allah bless her with long life. Ameen."

****

The news had spread as fast as fire in a forest. Within an hour, Nawal's parents, her brothers and their spouses were all fussing around the hospital hall in front of her room. The Siddique family also stood there waiting patiently for the doctors to give their reports. The atmosphere outside Nawal's room was tensed. No one spoke, everyone eagerly waited for what the doctor had to say. Seema was consoling her sister sitting beside her and rubbing her arms. Muhammad was sitting beside Shabbir in silence support. Faraz and Shahbaz were pacing up and down the hall. Salman was standing at the far end away from everyone. His hands in his jeans pockets, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, finally accepting the truth.

She didn't want him. To her, death was better than living with him. He leaned back his head on the wall. What had he done to deserve this? What was wrong with him? Was he so revolting that the girl he loved half of his life was disgusted by him. He had briefly glanced at her unconscious body when the nurses had entered her room. Her pale face, her weak body had terrified him.

It was time to sacrifice his love...

The doctor stepped out of the hospital room and scanned the small crowd in front of the room. "May I speak to Nawal Ahmed's parents?"

Shabbir stepped forward, "I am her father."

"It is clear from the wounds that your daughter had attempted suicide. It is good that she had reached the hospital on time. She has lost a lot of blood. We have started the blood transfusion. She should be conscious in few hours." His gaze flickered around the crowd, "Since this is a suicide case, the Garda (police) will be coming here and questioning Nawal and her immediate relatives to know the cause of this.

Shabbir pursed his lips and nodded curtly.

"You may go in if you want but please she needs her rest so I advise one person at a time." The doctor advised and took his leave.

Everyone was still trying to accept this new information when Shabbir turned to his wife and glowered. He pointed at her, "This is all your fault. Your continuous persistence to get her married to your nephew. Listen now and listen good." His piercing gaze scanned the faces of his dear ones, "I am not getting my daughter married to anyone except to the man of her choice. I don't care let hell break lose. My daughter will marry who she wants." He didn't care if Seema or Salman heard this. He wanted to make his point so that no one would try to force his daughter. She was too precious to him. His only princess. And he was not going to lose her for being a stubborn parent. With that, he stomped out of the hallway.

Ghazala stepped back few steps until she slumped on the plastic hospital chair. She grasped the end of her woollen hijab and buried her face in it. She wept, her shoulders shook, was it wrong to want the best for her daughter?

"Mom" Faraz softly spoke, sitting beside his mother, he wrapped his arms around her. She clutched his jacket, "Faraz all I wanted was best for her. Your father blames me for what she tried to do."

He rubbed his mother's back, "It's no one's fault. The circumstances have led to this. Right now Nawal needs you. Please don't break down like this."

"I was just scared that Daud isn't good for her. I never thought she will take such drastic step," her voice muffled against her son's jacket.

"Ssshhh Bas Mom," he murmured.

Shahbaz sat on the other side of his mother and placed his hand on her shoulder, "Bhai is right Mom. Don't blame yourself. And we are all here for Nawal. Nothing will happen to her."

Seema tearfully looked at her sobbing sister and she was helpless. She glanced at her son who was still standing at the far end of the hall. She went up to him and patted his arm tentatively. He turned his head and desolately glanced at his mother. Before Seema could utter a word he whispered,

"Let her marry him Ammi. I am stepping back. I cannot see her this way. It's over. Everything is over."

He then spun around and left with a heavy heart.

At that time, he had no idea that circumstances will compel him to change his decision yet again in the near future, once and for all, bringing her back to him for life.

****

Nawal's eyes slowly fluttered. She frowned, the light in the room irritated her. She tried again and lifted her eyelids. She blinked several time until she was able to see clearly. Her eyebrows furrowed discerning new surroundings.

Where was she?

She slightly turned her neck, her mother was sitting beside her reading Quran. She still didn't understand where was she? On the other side of the bed her father stood, he murmured lovingly, "Beti."

Ghazala looked up and mumbled, "Alhumdulilah (Praise be to Allah)."

"W..wh..where am I?" she croaked.

Shabbir bent down and brushed away Nawal's hair from her forehead and kissed it, "Alhumdulilah, do you remember what you did last?"

She thought hard and then remembered slitting her wrist. She slowly lifted her injured hand and glanced at it. It was properly bandaged now but it still hurt slightly.

"Take rest beti we will talk later." Shabbir looked at his wife and his face hardened, "Take care of her." He left, leaving mother and daughter alone.

"Mommy water," she said roughly.

Ghazala helped her sit down and then brought the mineral water bottle near her lips. Nawal gulped water greedily. Water dripped down her chin to her throat but she was oblivious of getting wet. When she had her fill, Ghazala set aside the bottle.

"Nawal you do know suicide is haram," Ghazala started softly.

Nawal lowered her eyelids and whispered, "Yes."

"You also know the hadith where the Prophet (Peace be upon him) has clearly forbid it. Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself will be in the Fire of Hell, throwing himself down therein for ever and ever. Whoever takes poison and kills himself, his poison will be in his hand and he will be sipping it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron, that piece of iron will be in his hand and he will be stabbing himself in the stomach with it in the Fire of Hell, for ever and ever." Ghazala narrated and then looked at her daughter and probed her further, "Why did you? You could have just said you don't want to marry him."

"I ... I..." Nawal wasn't able to continue.

"Say it child, I want to know why?"

She licked her dried lips, "Mommy I thought you will not accept no as an answer." Her shoulders drooped and her moist eyes lifted to her mother's, "I just can't marry him."

Clenching her jaw, Ghazala nodded and then resumed her Quran recitation. Nawal slid down the hospital bed and closed her eyes.

****

It was early morning and the phone was insistently ringing in Nawal's bedroom. Annoyed at the consistent loud phone tone, Arbaaz frowned while tying the tie of his school uniform. He hastened to Nawal's room and answered the call.

"Hello? Nawal?" Daud spoke.

"Assalam u alaikum Daud bhai, it's me Arbaaz."

There was a pause. Daud hesitantly replied, "Walaikum salaam Arbaaz."

"Nawal isn't here. She is at the hospital." Arbaz informed him as he switched on the speaker of the phone and started fixing his spikey hairstyle.

"Hospital?" frowned Daud.

"Don't you know? She slit open her wrist and was unconscious. She was rushed to the hospital. She had lost a lot of blood."

Daud had been sitting on his living room sofa, ready to leave for work, Arbaaz words shot him to his feet, his frown deepened, "Why did she do that?"

"I don't know but I think it was because she didn't want to marry Salman bhai."

Daud clenched his fist and muttered his goodbye. He slowly sank back on the sofa and run his hair roughly through his hair. How could she? Why didn't she speak to him? There were so many options than that. Taking out a cigarette from the pack, he lighted it. He hardly smoked early morning but this news had just given him a headache.

He had to go to her and show her hope. He took the first puff of the cigarette and decided she must have felt really helpless. But he won't let her ruin or end her life like this. He breathed out the smoke, the girl needed love and care. Someone who could cherish her. Why can't her parents see that? He knew what it was like to be neglected and feel the loneliness. He flickered the cigarette on the ashtray, sometimes he felt they were much alike both seeking closeness from their loved ones that they never had. In her case it was due to her mother but his.... It was more complicated.

****

"Hello Ma'am," the Garda officer tipped his hat, "I am Officer John O'Reilly. I am here to speak to Nawal Ahmed."

Ghazala pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. She gestured to her daughter who was leaning against the headboard of the bed. Nawal sat up a little.

The Garda officer sat beside Nawal's bed on the plastic chair and started the interview, "I would like to ask you some questions."

Nawal scowled, her gaze flickered to her mother and she hesitantly said, "Yes."

"What happened?"

"I ... I ... was depressed and I just wanted to end my life." She stammered

"Since how long you have been having such thoughts?" the officer asked as he started scribbling in his small notepad.

"Recently."

"Any reason why?" he looked up from his notepad.

She couldn't tell the officer the drama that was being played at home and she silently shook her head.

Confused, the officer continued his interrogation until he was satisfied. Nawal hadn't given much detail. But she had realized one thing she was never to do this again. Not only it was painful but she had put her family in agony. Worse of all, she had to be interrogated by a Garda officer, never any of her family member was required to do that. From now on, she will endure all whatever Allah has destined for her.

Whether it is a life full of trials and tests

Or a life full of blissful happiness.

****

Dishevelled Daud strode down the hospital hall until coming to the hospital room where she was. He lightly knocked and a muffled response from the other side prompted him to open the door. She was laying down with the cotton blanket over her. Ghazala was sitting beside her on a plastic chair reading Quran. Ghazala's eyes raised from the Quran and she was astonished to see Daud standing by the threshold.

Daud slowly sauntered into the room, he momentarily glanced at Ghazala and murmured, "Salaam aunty."

Ghazala didn't bother to conceal her disapproval and huffed muttering her response. But Daud wasn't bothered by her lack of hospitality. Instead he had his eyes on his girl. Nawal was silently watching him from the bed.

He knelt down beside the bed and whispered, "Why did you do this Nawal?"

She gulped and looked away, "My Nawal is stronger than this. No matter what life throws at you, you do not resort to killing yourself. Believe in yourself Nawal and above all believe in Allah the Almighty, He makes way when we are patient. Weren't these your words that you told me to be patient and now you have become impatient yourself."

Tears glistened in her eyes but she wasn't able to respond to him. He continued gently, "Promise me no matter what happens tomorrow in life you will never do this again."

A tear trickled down and she nodded.

"Say it Nawal. I want to hear you." He softly urged her.

"I promise" she said in her hoarse voice.

"Good girl. And now wipe your tears. I don't like to see your tears. You are a beautiful young woman and your smile makes you even more. I want to see that smile." His eyes caressed her face.

She giggled amidst her tears and hurriedly wiped them.

"Good. Now look what I have," he took out two Snickers bars from his jacket pocket. Nawal extended her hand to take them but he moved the chocolate bars away from her reach, "Not like this. I want to see that smile first."

She laughed this time and smiled showing off her teeth.

He smiled back and placed the chocolate bars in her upturned palm.

Ghazala was dumbstruck as she saw the scene unfold in front of her. She had no words to make out what she had just witnessed. How they had been trying to improve Nawal's disposition but this man came and was able to make her smile with his softly spoken few words. She knew then, she had been supporting the wrong man for her daughter. How many times she had seen Salman and Nawal arguing? But here this man knew how to bring that much needed smile on her daughter's face. She swallowed and bit her inner lower lip. Guiltily, she now agreed her husband had been right all along.

"I want you to take care of yourself no more stunts like this right?" Daud said, straightening tall to his 6'2 height.

Nawal nodded and smiled again.

He glanced at his watch, "I wish I could stay longer but I have a meeting." His gaze flickered at Ghazala as if asking for permission, "When you are back home I will come and visit you then." But Ghazala didn't disapprove, taking that as a positive sign he went on, "I want to see you in a better shape and I might bring something more than chocolate bars," he winked.

Her smile grew wider.

He nodded at Ghazala, "Allah hafiz aunty."

Ghazala stood up and walked up to the young man. She placed her hand on his shoulder and murmured, "Jeetai raho (Bless you)"

Her action startled Nawal as she looked at them in bewilderment. Daud left then and questions rose in Nawal's head but she wasn't able to utter them, afraid her mother may get angry. She kept quiet but prayed silently that her mother sudden likeness of Daud would change her decision.