Lena pov

"I'm perfectly fine Scarlett. Now come on." I say again

"Sometimes I don't think I even deserve you"

"pff yeah right. Like I'm an angel." I say sarcastically, getting behind the counter.

"You're the closest thing I know to one." she says smiling at me. I push the butterflies down and change the topic.

"What do you feel like eating?" I ask her

"Can you make mac and cheese?" She asks

"Sure. I just need to put the macaroni to boil." I say and take out all of the ingredients I need. I remember her once telling me that Mac and cheese is her comfort food. So like the enormous dork I am. I always had some in my apartment in case she needed it or wanted to eat it. I forgot how much I love making food for someone. Today I got to make food for Anthony, Jeremy and Chris. I'm glad they loved it.

"How's Rose doing?" I ask her as we stand there

"She's good. Right now she's with her father." She looks taken aback at my question but answers it anyway.

"I'm glad. I haven't seen her in a long time." I say stirring the macaroni

"You haven't seen anyone in a long time." She says

"I was in the UK before I went to Palestine." I tell her

"How was your birthday?" She asks me

"Most of it was good. Then it went to shit so I decided to call it a day." I say

"I saw the promo for the project. You weren't in any of the pictures."

"That's because I was taking the picture." I say

"When did you move back into the apartment?" She asks

"Today actually. I cleaned the apartment with the help of Chris, Mackie and Jeremy." I say as I get the cheese out.

"Oh. They were here?" She asks

"Well don't act so surprised."

"No it's just that they don't look the type to voluntarily clean." She says

"Well they did. And I am grateful for them." I say.

I finish making the food and put it into two bowls. One for her and one for me.

"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask her

"What do you have?" She asks

"Well I stocked the fridge and there is alcohol in the cabinet too so whatever you'd like." I say

"Can I have some wine?" She asks

"Of course, red or white?" I ask back

"Red please." I open the cabinet and pour her a glass. I open the fridge and get myself a bottle of water.

"You still can't drink?" She asks

"No, I can't." I say opening my water bottle.

"Why didn't you tell me that before you opened a bottle?"

"Well I don't mind. " I say eating my food.

We sit at the table and eat in silence. I turned on just the light above us so the rest of the room is dark right now. She glances at me sometimes but I don't make it seem like I notice it. I don't want her to feel awkward.

"Thank you for the meal." she says as I pick up the plates.

"You're welcome. I'm just glad you ate." I say and put the dishes into the sink.

"Your wine is amazing." she says pouring herself another glass. I guess she's sleeping over.

"Thank you. I have great taste." I say smiling at her.

"So, where is Colin right now?" I ask her

"At his place." She says looking down.

"Do you want to talk about what happened or do you want to just vent out and I'll respond by just nodding?" I ask her

"I don't want to talk about him. He really hurt me." She says

"Did he touch you?" I ask her

"No, not like that. He tried to at least."

"Good for him. He would be limping if he did." I say and she smiles at that.

"See was that so hard." I say squeezing her cheeks. She releases one of the most adorable noises and giggles. I smile at her and go to sit next to her.

"Do you want to perhaps watch a film with me?" I ask her

"Sure." She says and gets up.

We put on a film that was just released. Everyone kept telling me how good it was so I had to play it. Turns out it had a few scary scenes. Which Scarlett didn't like, at all. She is so easy to fright I swear. I find it adorable. She sits closer to me so I can take her hand into mine. After that she seems to start enjoying the film. She laughed here and there and was surprisingly calm. She didn't let go of my hand not even for a second. She stroked the back of my hand with her thumb and we stayed in that position until the film ended.

"Thoughts?" I ask

"I liked it. It was different than a lot of movies I've seen so far." She says

"I liked the film too. It just changes every now and then." I say and she giggles

"What?" I ask

"Do you ever slip up and say movie instead of film?" She asks drawing circles on my arm.

"I don't know. I think I don't." I say

"It's interesting how you spent so much time here and yet your accent never changed." She says

"Ooh you should hear me when I am with my brits. Back in the UK my accent got so strong I almost couldn't recognize it." I say

"I bet I wouldn't be able to understand you." She taunts

"Okay now thats just rude." I say and start to get up. She pulls me back onto the couch with her hand on my chest

"I was just kidding. I love you accent." She says quietly. She stares into my eyes and we hold eye contact for what seems like forever. I glance at her lips and notice how the're tinted red from the wine. She looks at my lips and deepens her breathing like she's holding back. I clench my fists and take a deep breath. It is a pain in the ass trying to resent her. I want to jump her bones and kiss the life out of her. She bites her lip and looks into my eyes. Her eyes almost black from her dilated pupils.

"Lena.." She whispers softly

"yes.. Scarlett." I answer quietly as well.

"Would you.. do me a favour?" She whispers looking into my eyes

"And what would that be?" I ask her. She looks down. Almost hesitating at first.

"Go on, you can tell me." I know what she wants. I just want to hear it come from her precious lips.

"Can you.. just kiss me already?" She asks out of breath. I pull away from her.

"I can't do that."

"You're afraid you'll hate it?" She asks

"On the contrary. I'm afraid that once I start I won't be able to stop." I say moving away from her.

"Is that so bad?" She asks

"It is if you're in a relationship."

"Well I don't think how long that will hold." She says

"I don't care. You're with him as we speak and you'll have him on your mind after." I say getting up.

"Where are you going?" She asks me.

"I'm going to get you something to change into." I say

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're staying over. The sheets are freshly washed and there is a spare toothbrush in the bathroom."

"I can drive. I only had a bit of wine." She says getting up. I grab her keys before she could.

"You had four glasses of wine. But not any wine. Very strong kind. You're not going anywhere close to a car right now." I say

"What are you my mother?" she asks annoyed

"I'm trying to be your friend."

"Since when do friends have sexual tension?" She says coming close to me.

"You know where everything is. I'll be back with your clothes." I say and turn around like nothing happened. I know I want her. I mean everyone can tell how much I adore her. But right now her mind is occupied by Colin. They fought which doesn't mean they are over. It means she needs someone to feel loved by and she just happen to choose me. The red wine added to her dizzy mind at the moment and she thought it was a good idea to try and sleep with me. It's not because I know for a hundred percent fact that she will regret it. Sooner or later.

She'll maybe even think I used her vulnerable drunken state. I will never do anything even remotely close to that and if I am being honest. If the time comes we actually spend the night together. I want the both of us to remember it. I don't want it to be a blur or just something she regrets. I want it to be the thing that made her love me. She in her right mind would not sleep with me. I know for sure. She likes Colin. Whether she'll admit it or no. I've seen the way she looks at him. How do I know it's love? Because, I look at her the same way. I look at her like she is my world and all of my galaxies. But she looks at him that way. I can't even begin to compete with that.

I put the clothes into her room and close the door. I go to the kitchen to take my medication. I find her there with a glass of wine in her hand.

"Since I'm already staying over might as well drink some of this amazing wine." She says smiling at me.

"Sure."

"What are you doing?" She asks as I get the bottles out of the cupboard.

"I'm about to take my medication." I say

"All of that?" She asks

"Yeah. I take them before I fall asleep." I say downing two. Her eyes soften as I make a face while swallowing a bigger pill. I put everything back into its place and I head out.

"No good night?" she asks

"Good night Scarlett." I say smiling at her.

"Good night."

I get back to my room and lay down right away. I put a blanket over myself and find myself asleep in seconds.

"Why are you acting like a spoiled little brat? You have no idea what I have to go through at work day and night!" my dad shouts at me

"All I asked of you was if I could go to Scotland with some of my friends. If it was my sister asking you'd be offering her money right now." I say

"You'll understand when you're older. You already caused this family enough humility. Parading here like I don't know why you were expelled. You are the first Adams in our blood line to have a disciplinary problem." He yells again

"Maybe I'm not an Adams after all. Maybe I'm just another nobody!"

"You are acting ridiculous! Get out of my office this instant."

"Fine. Mr. Adams! I'll go back go work where I'll be aprechiated more by my coworkers than my own father!" I say and slam the door.

"Miss Adams is everything alright?" His driver asks me

"I need to speak to my mother. Where is she?" I ask him

"I'm sorry you just missed her. She's on a plane to Berlin right now." He says looking at a tablet

"Bloody parents.." I mutter walking to my car. I am taking a day off. This arsehole can fuck off.

"Good afternoon Miss Adams. How's school going?" Richard asks me.

"It's going fine. I should be heading back there tomorrow." I say

"Finishing year. Are you excited?" He asks

"Not really. I know where I'll be headed afterwards." I say sourly

"You never know. Maybe Mr. Adams will soften up and he'll let you do what you want." Richard says handing me a muffin.

"Thank you. I doubt that. He is really getting on my nerves." I say

"Says you and every person that works for him." He says and I laugh at that

"Thank you Richard. You always better my mood." I say smiling at him.

"You're welcome. It is a pleasure honestly." He says

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hear my fathers voice echo through the house.

"How did you even know I was inside?" I ask

"You parked your car up front. You're supposed to be working."

"I came here to rest."

"What you got tired from being an ungrateful cunt?" He spits out.

"Richard could you leave us alone please?" I ask the man next to me. He shoots me an apologetic look and nods.

"I'm leaving for Oxford tomorrow. I need to rest." I say simply

"And I need my reputation back! Guess we're not getting that either."

"Dad you're acting strange." I say

"I'm acting strange? How dare you speak to me like that!"

"How dare you insult me?!" I shout back at him

"I am your father! I get the last word."

"You can get your bloody last word all you want. You can't call me names and expect for me to ignore it!" I say

"Hey you look at me while I'm talking to you! You are working until you pay back all the money I payed for you to go to that school!"

"That works for you doesn't it? You just had to choose one of the most expensive schools in all of the UK?" I say. Not even a second went by. I feel a sting on my right cheek.

"You piece of shit! You don't know how hard I work to get you and your sister everything you desire!"

"You pay me back by getting expelled for being a fucking lesbian?! Is that my thank you?!

I wake up out of breath and a sweaty forehead. I get up to the bathroom to take a shower and to wash off this horrible dream of mine. The truth is this is a memory of my father and I. That man was abusive and very homophobic. He chose to hate me for being who I am. I was not a lesbian but rather identified as pansexual. I tried telling him that but he never wanted to get it right.

I check the time to see it is 2am. I get myself changed into some clean clothes and don't even bother with my hair. I go to the kitchen to get myself a snack to calm my nerves.