In my experience, there is no perfect family.

In my experience, there are families that have fallen below the line of what we expect an imperfect family to be like. I'm not talking about squabbles and disagreements that get solved. I'm talking about full on dysfunctional perfection.

The trophy for dysfunctional perfection goes to the Harringtons. This family can pull off perfect like nothing I have ever seen. Francis Harrington -the industrious family man who happens to have more layers to his personality than what meets the eyes- comes off collected and charming even. The charitable wife, Freya Harrington is nice but there is so much grief behind her smiles and in her eyes. They do say that the eyes are the windows to the soul... Then there is the overcompetitive Coleen Harrington. Anything her twin can do, she has to do ten times better. She lives for her father's approval. Lastly, Cole Michael, one of my closest friends. He is passive aggressive. He never speaks his mind and he has this idea that he must always be perfect. Put together, the Harringtons are picture perfect but as flawed as they come.

The St Patricks are somewhat normal. Somewhat, at least at first glance. The Colonel, Christopher St Patrick, is a fun loving guy. He is the easiest going dad out there. He is a great compliment to uptight Courtney whose looks can kill. If Bruce is to be asked which one of his parents he fears, he would say Courtney. I can bet my car collection on it. Bruce is not like his dad, probably more like his mother and very absent from every other scene. It is not unusual to spot the St Patricks out and about as individuals opposed to the Harringtons who make sure they are always together. The St Patricks care little about portraying a picture perfect family or even a family for that matter.

The Bellingerres -the family I identify with- is a little like the St Patricks only that we have a flare for not giving a fuck about image. You either love us or you don't and we do not apologize for it. Our father, Wayne Bellingerre, takes the award for 'father of the year'. He is still a playboy at his age. My siblings and I don't share the same mother. We fight like cats, hold eternal grudges and live to blackmail the shit out of each other.

This finally brings me to the Balotelli-Bale family. To start with the Bales, Helena to be particular, is the most scariest person I have ever had to deal with. She is cut throat. She will say whatever needs to be said as bluntly as possible. She raised Nick, that should speak volumes. The retired Navy Admiral, who happens to be Nick's father is just like Helena. No explanation needed. Then there is my grandfather, Don Giovanni Balotelli. He has a well balanced personality and by far makes my list of favorite people. It is a short list. My mother is also on that list. She is on a different list where Nick is concerned. I love my mother dearly. Nick loves her too but in a twisted hateful way. The feeling must be mutual between them. I still would like to see them get along.

That brings me to the deal I made with him. He gets time with another man's wife and I get a shot at fixing his relationship with our mother. Twisted shit. How can I go along with this? Letting him pursue an affair and he's married? Well, I hate Margaux. I will wear a red suit to her bloody funeral. I also want to fix Nick and our mother. It's long over due.

"Jason, right? Jason Burke?" I approached the man seated in the alfresco restaurant.

"Marc Anthony Bellingerre!" He exclaimed with a smile. He stood up to shake my hand. "Join me. Please."

"I was just going into the hotel when I saw you. It's been years!" This man was my personal bully in primary school. I don't even understand how I'm seated here.

"I'm a New Yorker and you are a Londoner. Worlds apart!"

"But apparently we have the same hobby."

"Oh yeah? What is that?"

"Poker." I smiled ruefully. "Monte Carlo. This Friday through Sunday."

"I heard that the invitations are exclusive to high rollers. I'm a little under funded at the moment."

"In case you're too daft to notice, I'm inviting you to Monte Carlo."

He sat up straight. "Why?"

"I have never been one to fight physical battles." That is total bull! I love to fight! "Beating you at poker is payback for me."

He tapped his fingers on the table. I don't think he's buying into this. "No offense Tony but we are not friends. Why would you do this for me?"

"It's not for you. I heard you excel in losing. It will out a smile on my face to see you lose. That is what this about."

"You heard wrong. I dint always lose."

"Prove it. Monte Carlo, this Friday. Your beta are on me. You win, you keep everything. You lose, I gain the satisfaction of calling you a loser." I got up. "Tell them you're my guest. They will let you in."

I walked away hoping he will show up. I don't want that push. He will sense something is wrong. I just hope Nick won't throw a fit about me not getting this done promptly.

"Marc Anthony!" He called me. He is following me. "I'm in."

"Cheers mate. See you there."

Every Wednesday evening, I babysit an adorable eight month year old boy. His name is Terrance. He is the closest I have been or will ever be to being a mother. I have been babysitting since he was born. His mother is my best friend.

"Why aren't you dressed?" I asked her.

Lorraine is studying law. She's in her final year and I really admire her for finding a balance between a part time job, a baby and college.

She gestured to her pajamas. "I'm skipping class today."

"Why?" I followed her into her house. She leaves across the street from me. She's the only genuine person in this neighborhood of nosy people who always have their noses stuck in each other's business.

"I'm tired. But this is all yours." She out her son in my arms. She kissed him and was walking away when I decided to follow her. "Unless you are getting into bed with me, go away."

"I met a man. I met two men." She froze and turned slowly. Her big blue electric eyes met mine.

"You met two men? When you say meet, do you mean you bumped into them and they are never to be revisited or are you talking about the exit strategy?"

The exit strategy is something she came up with. Lorraine knows the abuse I go through. She strongly suggests that I should leave the marriage. She believes I can have any man I want. All I have to do is make an effort. She thinks I should meet someone new. Someone powerful enough to get Jason to submit to q divorce.

"Exit strategy?" I cringed. "I'm not sure but I like them both."

"You like them both? Okay! Now I'm not going to bed! Tea?"

"As long as you don't out any vodka in it." I settled down with Terrence in my arms. I pressed a kiss on his adorable chubby cheeks. "You smell edible my little munchkin! Did mommy spray strawberries all over you?"

He laughed when I tickled him. I pulled him close to me, allowing my heart to mellow with the contact. Sometimes I think of adopting.

"No progress in the baby department?" She asked me.

"No."

"Are you stressed out? Stress can hinder conception."

"When haven't I been stressed?"

"I'm sorry about the shitty life you live."

"Language Lorrie!"

"Terr is six months old. He can't repeat what I say!" She rolled her eyes. "Back to these two men, spill."

"The first one is uh... okay..." I blushed. "They are polar opposites."

"Don't you have a type honey?"

"Do you?"

"I like them stubborn so that I can crush them into surbodinate beings." She shrugged.

"I don't have a type. Anyway, one of them is serious, very blunt, assertive... very assertive, bossy... sexy." I whispered the last word. "Ahem... the other one is nice. He's sweet. He's thoughtful-"

"The first one. Puck the first one. I don't trust people without flaws."

"You won't ask me who they are?"

"I would love to but take this as a note because there are things about me I wouldn't want you to ask because I'll have to be rude and not answer. Anyway, back to you. What is happening with these two men?"

I have been thinking about who this little boy's father is. I have not had the courage to ask her. I guess I shouldn't.

"Let's call them N and C."

"Aha."

"N wants me to go with him to Miami. He says it's work but I know it's not. I mean, I could get his vibes from the second I met him. I told him no but he insisted. You know Keith is in jail, right?"

"I thought he would get out like he always does."

"I think my father is fed up. He's not helping. Anyway, I'm stepping in for Keith and N is calling it a business venture. It's not. I couldn't get out of it."

Lorraine looks like she wants to make her infamous bad jokes. "And you want my advice."

"Not that it will get me out of it but yes." She added some vodka to her tea. "Do you breastfeed after drinking?"

"Terrence quit my boobies a month ago. He's quite seasonal about breast feeding. But for your peace of mind, no. I will not breastfeed him. Go to Miami. Have fun. Like really have fun. Forget that you are married."

"It's not something one forgets so easily."

"Kei, yours is not a marriage. It's an abusive relationship that you refuse to end."

"I told you that it's complicated."

"The money you owe?"

"Yes."

"Here is my advice. Is N rich?"

"Yes."

"You have a silver tongue. Get N to give you the money. Pay Jason back and get divorced. Stay with N. But... But..." She placed the empty cup on the table. "I want to meet N."

"I can't just... How will I introduce you?"

"As your best friend silly! Did we break up?"

"No. We haven't broken up."

"Good because I'm possessive. If you replace me I'll beat the replacement to death. So don't your dare!"

"I won't dare. Lorraine, you're irreplaceable. When he picks me up tomorrow, you can meet him."

"Deal."