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I AM NOT AFRAID

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Wake me up,

Won't you wake me up.

I'm caught in a bad dream

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Bellamy's question made Althea a bit surprised that he even cared.

"Yeah."she answered looking into his brown eyes.

"Well,happy birthday,Ginger."he said with a small smile on his face.

"Thank you."Althea almost whispered and then glanced at Charlotte,Bellamy looked at her too.

"A child shouldn't be here."Bellamy said making Althea look at him.

"There are many things the Ark made kids do,"Althea said with a sad smile."Like hiding under the floor."

Bellamy gave her a look with one of his eyebrows raised.

"What is that supposed to mean?"he asked.

"Octavia told me about Atom."Althea said with a pang in her heart at the mention of the one she couldn't save."About the fact that you did something to him that drove him away from her.I understand the need to protect her but she isn't under the floor anymore,Bellamy,she's a teenager-"

"Look,ginger,you don't have a sibling,don't tell me how to treat mine,ok?"Bellamy snapped making Althea scoff.

"I wasn't allowed to have one,neither were you.I had to find the rest of my family,blood or not.You know who are like brothers to me?Monty and Jasper.Remember them?You're trying to kill one of them,there's a clue."Althea hissed making Bellamy look at the floor with guilt.

"Only to stop his pain,you and Clarke can't save him,accept that!"Bellamy said making Althea's heart hurt again.

"I am not losing another member of my family!I don't wanna go through that pain again!"Althea almost shouted,tears filling her eyes.

She pressed her head on the stone and her hands took the tears from the corners of her eyes.

Bellamy looked confused at her for a second,she looked at him and sighed.

"My father."she whispered making him close his eyes and sigh.

"I know how it's like to lose a parent."Bellamy said after a few seconds surprising himself,he was about to open up to a complete stranger but he couldn't help but do it.Something made him want to open up to Althea."I lost my mother when they found Octavia.It was a crime,she had a second child and she had to answer to her crime.I was crushed,I was alone and I didn't know if the pain would ever go away.But it does,and you feel lighter after it does."

"You tell me that but you are about to put me through the same pain,"Althea muttered."What if it was Octavia speared and not Jasper?If someone told you what you told me you would have killed that person in a second.Because she is your little sister and you know you could save her.I know I can save Jasper.But we need more time,me and Clarke need more time.And I'm not gonna allow you or anyone to take that time from me."Althea declared.

Bellamy scoffed,his pride not letting her know that she's right.He wouldn't let a soul kill his sister.

"Althea,the goddess of healing.I guess that name had to give me a clue,huh?"he joked making Althea's eyes widen,realizing he was gonna give her and Clarke enough time to heal Jasper.

"Thank you,Tinker Bell."

"You're welcome,Ginger."

Althea chuckled making Bellamy curious.

"What?"he asked puzzled.

"It annoys me that you hide the very nice person you are inside with that jerk cover of yours.Because,I bet that you have a kind soul,Bellamy,you just don't show it."Althea confessed leaving Bellamy looking at her with no words or time to say anything due to Charlotte starting to scream and trash around.

Bellamy jumped to where Charlotte was sleeping.

"Charlotte,wake up."he said and Charlotte opened her eyes wide and she looked around,terrified.

Althea got to them as well and planted a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down.

"I'm sorry."she apologized quietly.

"You don't have to be sorry,sweetie."Althea said with a small smile.

"Does that happen often?"Bellamy asked as she sighed and looked away giving them the answer.

"What are you scared of?"Bellamy asked but Charlotte didn't answer."You know what?It doesn't matter.The only thing that matters is what you do about it."Bellamy said making Althea furrow her eyebrows in confusion.

"But,I'm asleep."Charlotte said like she was reading Althea's mind.

"Fears are fears.Slay your demons when you're awake,they won't be there to get to you when you sleep."Bellamy explained calmly.

"Yeah,but how?"Charlotte asked.

"You can't afford to be weak.Down here,weakness is death.Fear is death."the two shared a long stare as Althea processed Bellamy's words."Let me see that knife Althea gave you,"he said and Charlotte gave him the weapon."Now,when you feel afraid you hold tight to that knife,and you say:Screw you.I'm not afraid."Bellamy said making Althea give him a look he didn't notice as all of his attention was on Charlotte.

Charlotte took the knife and looked at it as she repeated Bellamy's words with no emotion making Bellamy give her a look.

"Let me try too to see if it works and then you say it again."Althea said even if she had a few things to object about Bellamy's speech but Charlotte needed some pep talk.

"Screw you,I'm not afraid."Althea said with confidence as she smiled at Charlotte giving her back the knife.

The girl held it tight and said the words.

"Screw you,I'm not afraid."

"Slay your demons,kid.Then you'll be able to sleep."Bellamy said patting Charlotte's knee.

After she went back to sleep Althea looked at Bellamy.

"I don't agree with what you've told her."Althea confessed making Bellamy raise his eyebrows in confusion.

"Oh really,and why not?"he asked with a smirk.

"Fear isn't something you can get or should get rid off.It keeps you going,running for you,your life.Fear makes us want to live.We need that down here.Fear,to fight for our lives,otherwise we should just let the grounders kill us all."Althea argues."I was afraid that I might die on my birthday so I ran."

"I bet Atom was afraid too."Bellamy said making Althea feel that sack of guilt again.

"He tripped,he tried to get up,probably but the ash got to him faster and nobody came to him when he shouted."Althea stuttered.

"He tripped because of fear.It blinded him."Bellamy argued as Althea didn't know how to respond,he just wasn't right.

"Why don't you dream about a comeback,Ginger?"he joked as he layed on his back wanting to sleep himself.

Althea took off her jacket and used it as a pillow,hoping that everyone else was alright as she fell asleep.

—

Bellamy shielded the girls with his arm as they got out of the cave in the morning.

"It's all clear."he announced as all three breathed fresh air again.

"Anybody out here?"Althea shouted startling Bellamy."Scared you,Tinker Bell?"she asked amused making him roll his eyes.

"Jones?"Bellamy called out loud.

A male voice shouted from another part so they followed it.

"Lost you in the stew.Where'd you go?"Bellamy asked a group of three who joined them at hunting,two boys and a girl.

"Made it to a cave down there."Jones answered."The hell was that?"

"Acid fog,probably set by grounders."Althea theorized.

"Where's Atom?"Bellamy asked making Althea's guilt grow even more when nobody answered.

"Oh my,God."Althea muttered making Bellamy turn to her.

"Althea,it wasn't your fault.As you said,you needed to save yourself.Plus if you would have gone after Charlotte was safe you wouldn't have returned either."Bellamy assured her when he noticed the look on her face.

"Maybe if I was faster-"Althea started but a sharp scream was heard a few feet behind them.

Everyone ran to the source of the scream to see Charlotte looking at something.Bellamy put an arm around her and grabbed Althea's arm and then let go when she almost slipped on the ground at the sight.

Althea felt like she couldn't breathe when she saw Atom.

Only that all of his skin was reddish and covered in yellow or red sores,some had puss burst in out of them.Only half of his face was covered in them as the rest still had his normal skin.Short breaths escaped his white lips and his eyes were covered in a misty white making Althea swallow a lump in her neck,the fog made him blind.

"Son of a bitch.Atom."Bellamy whispered as he walked to Atom.Althea made sure Charlotte didn't follow her as she walked behind Bellamy and both crouched down next to Atom's body.

Atom kept whispering something,in pain,to Bellamy.Bellamy lowered his head and heard what he said as Althea did the same thing.

"Kill me."he demanded to his friend in pain and he grasped Althea's hand with his own.The way his skin felt again hers made Althea wanna throw up but she didn't move,instead she moved closer to his head and put it in her lap as with her free hand she

Bellamy got up at the sight of the others.

Charlotte walked to him and Althea played with his hair as the hand she was holding layed next to his head.

Bellamy looked at her with a look that made Althea understand he had no idea what to do,a look that asked for help.

"I....can't.....breathe."Atom breathed out.

"Shh,shh,shhh.It's okay."Althea said even though she knew it wasn't okay,she saw Bellamy looking at them and then he looked away.

Charlotte walked over to Bellamy and gave him Althea's knife making Althea's eyes widen.

"Don't be afraid."she said making Althea look at her surprised.

"Go back go camp."Bellamy said to the others.

"You too,Charlotte.Now."Althea said a bit harsh.Charlotte is a child she shouldn't encourage Bellamy to kill him even if it was the right thing to do.

"Althea,kill me."he begged with almost no power squeezing her hand making Althea gasp.

As they left,Bellamy looked more terrified the more he looked at Atom.Althea and Bellamy looked at each other knowing what to do but too afraid to do it.

Althea saw someone behind Bellamy as she broke the eye contact.

"Clarke."she called as the blonde walked to them.

"I heard screams."she said as she crouched down across Bellamy.

"Charlotte found him.I sent her back to camp."Althea informed her.

Clarke looked at Atom for a few seconds and then at Bellamy and Althea and she nodded negatively.

He wasn't gonna make it.Officially.

Althea felt tears build in her eyes as she sighed,the sack of guilt being huge by then.

She could've done something,maybe she could've saved him.

"Okay.I'm gonna help you,alright."Clarke told Atom like she was talking to child with a small smile on her face.

She started humming a song and looked at Althea,urging her to do the same.They hummed the song together and Clarke patted gently his shoulder as Althea stroked his hair.

The blonde took the knife Charlotte gave Bellamy and while they still sang the song,Clarke put the knife into Atom's neck,ending his life.

Althea kept stroking his hair and petting it as a tear left her eyes the moment he stopped holding her hand.

Bellamy looked at her with a surprised look on his face as he put a hand on her shoulder giving her a look that tried to tell her it was alright.

She returned the look and she nodded as another tear left her eyes.

"Are you okay,Althea?"Clarke asked and Bellamy quickly took his hand off of her shoulder.

"I'll be."Althea answered as she got up and helped Clarke up as well.

"I do have good news."Clarke said on a lighter note."We found something that could cure Jasper."

—

It was night by the time they all have returned to camp,voice announcing their arrival.Althea walked straight to Octavia.

"It's about time.They were gonna kill Jasper.Did you get the medicine?"Octavia asked Clarke who was next to Althea.

"Yeah,I got it."Clarke answered and looked at Althea.

"Let's talk somewhere,all three,have a girl talk."Althea said grabbing Octavia by her arms trying to get her away from the bonfire but failed as Octavia got away from her grasp and walked right there.

"Octavia,just stay there please."Bellamy begged as Althea walked behind Octavia.

"Why?Why?"Octavia asked as her brother tried to stop her."Stop."she demanded

She took away the jacket that covered the body and saw Atom's face.Althea sighed next to Bellamy.

"There was nothing I could do."Bellamy said,defending himself.

"Don't."Octavia said raising her hand up.She covered Atom's body back with the jacket and left not listening to her brother.

"I'll go after her."Althea said to Bellamy,seeing her going to the dropship.

Bellamy nodded but before the ginger left he grabbed her by the arm.

"What?"Althea asked.

"Please,don't feel guilty about this."Bellamy said with a soft voice making Althea's eyes widen.He let her arm go and turned around.

Althea left,confused to the dropship.

—

Octavia held Jasper's head as Clarke gave him the tea she made out of the medicine.Althea prayed to God that the tea would work.

"I'm really sorry about Atom."Clarke said.Althea grabbed the Blake's girl hand and squeezed in reassurance.

Octavia looked up with pain in her eyes.

"I guess we're gonna have to get used to people dying down here,aren't we?"Octavia confessed."But not you,you hear me?You're not allowed to die."she said stroking Jasper's hair as Clarke and Althea smiled at her.

"No,he isn't."Althea said looking at her still with a sweet smiled that Octavia returned.

—

Clarke left to do something as Finn shared the booze he found with the others.

"Smooth."Monty said and immediately started couching making Althea chuckle.

Althea took a sip and cringed when the alcohol hit her but still it was an okay taste.

"Not bad,not amazing."the ginger stated giving the bottle to O who also cringed when she drank.

"Disgusting.Love it."she said handing Finn the bottle .

"Can I,uh,get a hit of that?"Jasper said,shocking everyone and making them get up and go next to him.

"Let's start with the soft stuff."Finn said getting the tea and giving it to him to drink.

"Thank God."Althea said sighing in relief at the sight of an alive Jasper.

"Welcome back,buddy."Finn said with a smile as Monty grabbed Jasper's hand with a smile.

Jasper looked at Althea who kissed his forehead loudly and smiled at him as she planted her hand on his and Monty's.

"Was that a dream or did I get speared?"he asked Althea making Clarke who just got there scoff.

"You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it."she said walking to them.

"My savior."he called Clarke smiling.

"Thank you for not dying."Clarke said to him l.

"Yeah,I don't think I could have taken that today."Althea continued.

"I'll try not to die tomorrow too,if that's cool."Jasper joked making everyone chuckle.

Octavia touched his leg making his look at her with a huge smirk.

"Oh,hello."he greeted making everyone chuckle again as he slowly dozed off leaving everyone smiling.

Jasper was alive.And that was enough to lift the cloud Althea had over birthday.

Turning eighteen sure went different for Althea Sparkles.

—

Guess who updated?

I had this chapter written like a week ago but I was too lazy to write the author's note and a nice,poetic ending or something like that.

So Althea and Bellamy start connecting :))

But Althea was left marked by Atom's death,oof and this is just the beginning for what I have in store for my baby.

Hope you liked this chapter and if you did vote and please comment bc your comments are really motivating me.

Love,Anna💘