Bellamy laid on the cot as dry blood covering his mouth. Octavia, his little sister, taking care of him when it should be the opposite way around. He fought to keep himself awake, scared they would never open again, but it wasn't long before he caved into a deep sleep.

Bellamy believed for a long time it would be just his mother, his little sister and him, until it was all at once ripped away from him. Bellamy wanted nothing more for his little sister and him to reunite and when he was given the chance he took it. But now that he had Octavia again, he still wanted something. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Bellamy allowed the thought to grow, and eventually, letting it trust Cattleya.

Her eyes is what he imagined the sun to look like when he read stories about the sunsets on Earth. She reminded him a lot of the heroes he learned from his mom; she was a real warrior. Everything Bellamy read about heroes, she was. And, she was just so...beautiful it was as if he imagined it all.

When Bellamy woke up, he was quickly reminded of everything she did wrong. All the dying sick people around him. Murphy offered Bellamy water, another person he had once trusted, so he lashed out on Murphy. Clarke came to Murphy's rescue and tended Bellamy. "Don't tell me you trust him now." He said in disbelief.

"Trust? No." Clarke shook her head. "I do believe in second chances, though." Almost, on que, Clarke said what he needed to hear. Bellamy rolled his eyes and told Clarke to gather everyone inside the Dropship. He doesn't believe Jasper and Finn will be able pull off the bomb.

Just as Clarke is helping Bellamy gather their people, an explosion went off in the distance. Within an hour or so, or felt like it, Jasper, Finn and Raven return to camp. Bellamy spent the rest of his day staring at the graves of the people they lost: fourteen bodies in total. Today, they scarred off the Grounder but tomorrow they have other problems to face. Octavia warned him about the Mountain Men, but he was taking one problem at a time.

♾

Anya made Cattleya get checked by Nyko even when she reassured Anya that she was fine. After being proven mostly right (her back being nearly entirely bruised), Anya ordered Cattleya to rest for the night. She would take care of Tris for tonight.

Cattleya should have gone back to her tent but she couldn't bring herself to stay in camp. She needed to talk with Bellamy. Cattleya took an unusual route to reach the Sky People's camp taking longer than usual.

He wasn't in his tent like always. Cattleya sat at the end of his cot waiting for him. It was an eternity waiting in the dark before Bellamy had stepped foot in the tent. "Bellamy." She whispered. Bellamy aimed his gun at her; he didn't need light to know who it was.

Bellamy didn't bother to carry a fire stick in his tent. He thought Cattleya wouldn't come tonight. Not after the bomb. Not after she lied to him. Yet like always with her, he was proven wrong, once again. "Bellamy, please put the gun down." Cattleya said.

"Did they send you to finish the job?"

"No." She said. "I came to talk to you, to explain what happened." Cattleya seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "To make sure you were okay."

"You're so full of shit! Why the hell would I believe you! Your people started killing us since we landed here, and you've been distracting me from protecting them!" Bellamy sneered. "You act like you care about us then you send some fucking disease to kill me." He had gotten sick. "I trusted you and look where it got me!"

"I didn't know-"

"Bullshit."

"Anya didn't tell me the whole truth. I had only found out the night before, and I tried to come but guards were placed in every exit. I couldn't leave." Cattleya explained. "Please?"

"Your word means nothing to me." Bellamy snapped. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now."

"I can't," She said. "but I didn't get your people sick. I have never lied to you, Bellamy." He stayed silent still aiming his gun at her; his finger on the trigger. Cattleya closed her eyes waiting for the gunshot. Her instincts wanted her to fight against him. To take her dagger and kill Bellamy, but she was a shitty person. And life, had finally caught up.

Bellamy stared at her with furrowed eyebrows with his finger still on the trigger. Cattleya would let him kill her? Why wasn't she fighting back? She always fought back. Would he really kill her again? Bellamy laid down his gun and Cattleya let out the smallest sigh of relief. "How many got sick?" She asked putting her dagger belt to the side. "Are you okay? Is Octavia okay? Clar-"

"Cattleya, stop acting like you care." Bellamy said.

"I do care." She snapped. "I care more than I should." Bellamy stayed quiet. Cattleya was being honest with him. She always was with him. She only wanted him to trust her. "I'm giving up everything I know to protect your people. Just...trust me." He sat down at the edge of his bed.

Bellamy didn't want to argue with Cattleya. If he was being honest with himself, Bellamy really just wanted to hear one of her stories or sit around eating the berries she would pick. Anything but argue. But how could he tell her that?

"I can't." He looked into her eyes. Bellamy noticed the war paint and handed her a cloth. Tonight could be the last night they truly ever saw each other and he wanted to see her.

"I trust you." She said. Everything she ever said to him was true, so Bellamy felt he should do the same.

"You shouldn't." He told her. Cattleya sat on the side of his cot next to him as she cleaned her face. Bellamy didn't mind, in fact, he moved himself inch closer to her. He always did with her. Bellamy couldn't stop himself from being just an inch closer to her, even after everything.

"It's too late for that." Cattleya whispered to him. She looked down at his hands and noticed how he kept playing with his fingers. All Cattleya wanted was to hold his hand and reassure him that it would all work out, but she clenched her hands shut.

But why? Why couldn't she hold his hand? Why did she have to hold herself back? She was so tired of telling herself what to do and what not to do. She was tried of being confused on what's right and what's not! She was tired of being angry at...fucking everything! She kept trying to please everyone: being a Second to Anya, being a teacher to Tris, being a warrior for Octavia, being a peacemaker for Lincoln, being Trikru for Xerxes, being Skikru for Bellamy! It was too much! Cattleya was tired of pleasing everyone! She wanted to be selfish for once. Just once...

With her heart racing in her chest, Cattleya knelt down in front of Bellamy before slowly taking off her jacket and then shirt. She was left with only her bra, and as she went to unclip it, a thought occurred. What if he didn't want her? Cattleya looked up at Bellamy's eyes but he was already looking down at hers. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No." He said without a thought. She neared closer to him and placed her hands on his lap.

"Do you want me?" He heard her voice shake.

"Yes." He said just as quick. She unclipped her bra and threw it to the side. Bellamy's noticed the trembling of her hands as she took one of his hands and intertwined it with her own. She climbed on to his lap, took his hand and placed it at her waist. Goosebumps rose all over her body from just the single touch.

Bellamy's heart had never sped up as much as it was now. He couldn't tell if it was from excitement or nervousness or maybe a little of both. But, his instincts kept telling him to this was wrong, but truthfully, he didn't care.

Cattleya placed a hand on his chest as she kissed his neck, and slowly, he relaxed further into her touch. He let his hands roam up to her chest and let his hand feel her while her kisses softly inched closer and closer to his lips. His lips parted in anticipation.

Except it didn't happen, in fact, her kisses stopped altogether. Her forehead rested on his. Bellamy eyes slowly opened and he found Cattleya with her eyes closed and her lips hovering just over his. She was scared. It would change everything and there was no going back, for either of them. "Are you sure about this?"

Bellamy gently placed a hand on her cheek, "Yes." and leaned forward placing a small kiss on her lips. That was all they needed before completely falling into each other. Bellamy undid her pants and took off all her clothes. A trail of goosebumps rose over every area Bellamy hands touched.

He stood up from the cot, lifting Cattleya up with him, and laid her back down on it. Cattleya watched Bellamy take off his shirt. Bellamy's heart rammed against his chest staring at Cattleya completely naked on his cot, his eyes wander every part of her body until he reached the white gauzes around her forearms.

He killed her.

Even through the dark, Cattleya found his eyes looking just above her head where her arms laid. Cattleya rose to her knees in front of Bellamy. She held each side of his face forcing him to look at her. "I know..." She softly said to him. "It's okay. I'm okay." Bellamy's eyes glossed over. "I was wrong. You have such a big heart and you care so much for everyone. And, I can care for you, if you let me." He wanted her, he wanted her forever. He didn't deserve her and he knew it; she was too good for him, but if he could just have her for tonight, that would be enough. He placed his lips on her before she deepened it.

Cattleya savored his tongue in her mouth as Bellamy's hands explored every inch of her. His hands glided down her stomach until he reached her. Cattleya's breath hitched at his touch. Excitement ran through her veins burning every part of her body.

Her hands traveled down to the belt of his pants and fumbled to unbuckle them. "The damn belt." She said making them both laugh. Swiftly, he became as naked as she was to him.

Cattleya laid back down on his cot with Bellamy following on top. Neither of them separated from each other, not even for a second. There definitely was no turning back now and neither of them wanted to.

A sharp intake of breath escaped from Cattleya's mouth as Bellamy slowly pushed inside her. Patiently, they created a rhythm together building up a knot inside themselves. Bellamy was tender and he loved to squeeze her everywhere. Her heart quickened with each passing moment, and her body pressed closer to him, wanting him to touch her more and more.

Bellamy eagerly kissed at Cattleya's neck to keep himself quiet as she bit down on his shoulder. Her hands gripping at his back. Bellamy wrapped his arms around her body as they fucked each other. Their pace quickened and Cattleya found herself lost with Bellamy.

A strong knot clinched inside of Cattleya. Her breathing became ridged and her body violently shook under Bellamy. A quiet sigh of relief escaped her mouth while Bellamy found his.

They both collapsed completely out of breath. Bellamy laid himself beside Cattleya facing the top of his tent as she rested on his chest. He held her close as his fingers drifted along her back. Immediately, she winced at his touch. "What happened?" Bellamy said.

"Bruised back. The explosion threw me off my horse. Our healer says there shouldn't be anything broken. It still hurts, though."

"You don't look like you were in pain just a few seconds ago." She only smiled at him. "Maybe we should have Clarke look over it."

"No, I just want to stay right here, like this. For as long as possible." She kissed his lips and he kissed back.

♾

It was pouring rain when Cattleya left Bellamy's tent. She had fallen asleep for a few hours and woke up with a harsh jolt of realization. Bellamy's arm was wrapped around the side of her body, he's face facing hers. Cattleya noticed how innocent he looked sleeping and wished she could capture this moment forever. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips before getting up. Cattleya was careful not to disturb Bellamy or anyone else in the camp.

She had planned to run all the way back to camp, which would have taken the rest of the night, but Patroclus was loyal. Cattleya knew he would come back. Her horse paced by the broken bridge, where he had last left her, unsure how to cross to the other side, so Cattleya crossed for him. "Let's get back to camp." She told Patroclus.

The sun was just beginning to poke out from the night when Cattleya had reached camp. Xerxes was there to greet her at the front of camp. "You where gone all night. Where'd you go?"

"I went to find Patroclus." Cattleya lied as she pet the neck of her dark horse. "Is that okay with you?" She signaled Patroclus to move forward into camp. All guards had moved except Xerxes.

"All night?" He continued to question.

"Yes. He's my family's horse. My father's horse. Of course, I looked all night." She sneered before moving into camp. Cattleya tied her horse to his stable and turned to her tent to change out of her wet clothes.

The fire stick in her room had remained lit letting her see the marks Bellamy had left behind on her body. A heat rose in her cheeks and a small smile formed on her lips. Cattleya climbed into her cold cot and wrapped the blanket around her body. Her eyes fluttered close as she fell asleep feeling happy for once.

♾

A splash of cold water jolted Cattleya awake. She reached for her dagger and looked up to see Xerxes standing above her. "Get the fuck out of my tent!"

"Get up." Xerxes narrowed his eyes. "Anya wants you." He stalked out of her tent. Cattleya shuffled out her cot and put a set of dry clothes on.

The day was colder than most, and thankfully, she had extra clothes. "Don't ever send Xerxes to wake me." She told Anya, but Anya only snickered in reply.

"I heard you had a long night."

"Searching for Patroclus."

"He was Pa's horse." Anya stated. A silence grew in the tent. They don't have conversation like they used, like when they were younger. Anya had notice Cattleya was wearing a scarf. "It's been getting colder?" She asked indicating her black scarf.

"It has.....how's Tris?"

"She hasn't woken." A stern expression stayed in Anya's face but a worried expression ran in her eyes. "Nyko says to wait until night but I don't think she'll make it."

"She's a warrior, she'll fight through it." Anya tightened her lips.

"We'll get revenge on the Sky People." Cattleya's heart quickened but she tired her best to hide it with a simple nod. She turned to leave Anya's tent but Cattleya was stopped by her question. "Do you think Pa would have been proud of me? Of us?"

Anya had been raised and trained by Cattleya's father and mother. Her father had found Anya alone and crying in the trading market. She couldn't have been any older than six. Cattleya was four and was excited to play with another girl in the village. A year later, Lexa was found by her mother sleeping on the forest floor alone. It didn't take long for the three young girls to became inseparable. To become sisters.

And, now they live their own lives separately with each of their own secrets. "He would be proud of how strong you are. How we've become our own leaders. We're his legacy." Anya seemed to except the answer and let Cattleya leave to her duties. As soon as she left Anya's tent, Xerxes approached her.

"You didn't go out to find your horse." He stated.

"Yes, I did and it's none of your business."

"It is if we're at war."

"Really because it seems the people I trust are keeping secrets from me, so why would it matter if I had some of my own." Xerxes pulled Cattleya towards him, their faces only a few inches apart. He pulled down her scarf.

"Where did these marks came from?" Xerxes sneers at her. "Your fucking secrets." He chuckled making Cattleya clench her fist.

"It's none of your business who I've been with. You made it pretty clear what I meant to you. So leave me the fuck alone. " Cattleya shoved him away and threw her scarf at his face before walking back to her tent. Why did he care so much about her personal life? He made it perfectly clear that he didn't feel the same way.

Cattleya used to believe Xerxes loved her just as much as she loved him, but she was stupid and naive. She poured her entire heart out to him and he threw it back in her face. Cattleya refused to be humiliated and used like that ever again. She had nearly killed him on the spot. Xerxes was lucky Anya was there that day. She already had a dagger to his throat until Anya threw her off.

Cattleya clearly ended whatever relationship they had, and now, Xerxes spent several night and days doing whatever the fuck he wanted for the past four years. So why did he care so much? Why did it bother him when he had no right to be?

Anyways...it was a one night thing. It didn't matter what Cattleya wanted because it had to be this way. She would be disowned by her own people, and Bellamy would lose the respect of his own people. But, she didn't want to just use Bellamy the way Xerxes did to her. Of course, she didn't love Bellamy...but it was possible with him. It was dangerously possible. Cattleya shook her head getting rid of those thoughts. It isn't good to dwell in those fantasies.

Cattleya, once again, looked at the slightly visible bruises Bellamy gave her and smiled. Her heart raced again. She hadn't felt this way in a very long time. And a part of her hated herself for it because this would only make things harder for her. Like it always did. She would look like a traitor not to kill Bellamy, but she knew she couldn't bring herself to do it do when given the chance.