It is difficult to say in the appropriate form of words what Colby was feeling as he hurried up those stairs and landed in the doorway of the bathroom. He could feel his heart coming to a dangerous halt before starting back up at a dangerously hurried pace, his muscles stiffening fearfully as he stared down at the trembling figure of his partner. To say he was shocked and scared would be an overwhelming understatement. He imagined if he knew how to compose himself and identify an appropriate expression that sized up to the intensity of... fear he felt, he may be screaming at the top of his lungs.

Sam hadn't noticed Colby had arrived yet, his body curled up in a quivering ball in the corner of the bathroom, blood streaming down his arms and staining his pale blonde hair as he balled fists of his locks in his bloodied palms. He was saying something to himself repeatedly; Colby couldn't make out the words he was saying but from what he could tell, he was trying to calm himself down. There was glass scattered all over the floor, most likely coming from the smashed mirror which confirmed that it was most likely what Colby heard at the end of the phone call.

"Sam?" Colby spoke up in a trembling voice as he took one step into the bathroom and clutched the doorframe as if to ensure he wouldn't fall over from this unnamed emotion coursing through his veins. The name alerted Sam who snapped his head up and looked at Colby with tearful eyes, his face red and wet from crying.

Terrified? No, that still couldn't amount to his feelings in that moment he shared, identifying his boyfriend's broken features.

"Sam? Baby... Are you...? What happened baby?" He was about to ask whether Sam was okay or not, but he disregarded the question as redundant and rhetorical in a foolish sense, because Sam was indefinitely not okay.

"Colby?" Sam whimpered as he squinted his eyes at him, as if trying to figure out whether it really was Colby he was speaking to. "Colby... Is that really you?"

"Of course it is Sam, why wouldn't it be me?" He tried to sound brave and comforting but his voice betrayed him as it cracked from his lips pathetically, his feet shuffling slightly forward into the bathroom. "What are you doing baby? What happened here?"

"Don't come any closer!" Sam held out a bloody hand and stared at Colby with wide, horrified eyes. Colby immediately halted his movements and continued to grip the doorframe. He regretted leaving Sam alone with every fibre of his being, if he had been here, he would've been able to comfort him when he needed it. He was beating himself up for acting so foolishly. "I might hurt you! I'm crazy! I don't want- You can't... You'll hate me!"

"Hate you?" Colby gave a meek smile and tilted his head slightly. "I could never ever hate you Sam. I told you already, and I'll keep saying it until I die... I love you Sam", his grip loosened slightly as he expressed his deep emotions for Sam that ran deeper within him that any apprehension for this situation could. Loving Sam seemed to be embedded into his flesh, like he was made to do it. He felt as though Sam could commit any number of felonies against him and he'd still hold compassion for him.

"You... You're saying that because I'm... Because you're scared I'll lash out".

"No Sam. Why are you thinking like that? When have I ever acted like I thought you were crazy? I'm here with you every step of the way! Sam, let me help you! Please!" Colby was begging him at this stage, his palm rose to his chest as he gripped the front of his shirt desperately.

Sam was quiet.

"Sam, how am I supposed to help you with whatever you're going through if you don't talk to me? Don't you trust me?"

"No!" Sam practically screamed out. "That's not it!"

"Then stop closing yourself off from me! And we can work together! Sam, I have no doubt that if we work through this together we'll come out of it stronger than anyone could've ever anticipated! You're not crazy Sam! You've just been through torturous amounts of trauma and I know it's not going to be easy to get out of this amount of stress but... Please... If we try, we can come out of it! I don't care how long it takes to regain your confidence, I'll stick with you regardless of whether it takes, days, weeks, months or even years!" Sam lowered his eyes sadly at the kind words that left Colby's lips, his body erupting in a series of tingles.

"Okay..." Sam relented, and Colby allowed a relieved smile to spread over his lips and he continued to come further into the bathroom, watching Sam slowly slide his back up the wall to stand up. Glass crunched under the soles of Colby's shoes and he became painfully aware that Sam was barefoot, and he hurried his walk into the bathroom and place a hand on Sam's upper arm to help him stand.

"Let me help... You're not wearing any shoes, you'll hurt yourself", Colby heaved Sam into his arms and carried him out of the bathroom. He recalled carrying Sam in the hospital and remembered he weighed a lot more than he did now. His face fell slightly and noted to subtly get Sam back into the habit of eating more without triggering his condition to worsen.

"I'm heavy", Sam mumbled, and Colby looked at his pouting face with a smile.

"Actually, you're really light", he stated, and Sam didn't respond. "Can you tell me what happened? What triggered you to do this?" Colby asked as he sat Sam on the coach in Colby's room, kneeling before him and observing the damage on his hands. Sam was quiet, he didn't want to tell Colby he saw another version of himself, that would definitely make him sound crazy... Not like Colby thought Sam was particularly sane at this point.

"Where did you go?" Sam asked a question of his own and Colby glanced up at him before he stood up.

"I went to see that Therapist", he stated, and Sam's eyes shot up to his face. "I wanted to see if there was any other way I could help you deal with your anxiety". Ah. Sam wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered of Colby's attempt to help him using extended sources, though he didn't approve of that very woman helping them out.

"I see... Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have let me?" He pointed out and Sam's cheeks subconsciously brightened a bit.

"Probably not..."

"I'm sorry for leaving without telling you, I just didn't want to stress you out, besides you were sleeping so soundly I couldn't bear waking you... Though me leaving seems to have stressed you more than I hoped..." Colby looked away in shame before heading to the door. "I'm gonna get the med kit, stay there", Colby instructed softly before exiting the room which left Sam by himself again.

He stared at the door for a few seconds before looking down at his hands with were all cut up from bashing the mirror. He clenched them to make fists and his teeth barred a bit angrily. He was such a fucking burden on Colby's life, even though he would never admit it. He was always playing the damsel in distress and he knew it was hurting Colby terribly. He didn't deserve Colby... But he had him. He couldn't keep this endless cycle of insanity repeating itself over and over like it has, he has to do something.

If not for his sake, for Colby's at least. He needs to do his best to get better and stop submitting to these demons eating away at him. He has to try.

"Sam?" Colby walked in with a concerned look on his face, noticing the concentrated yet pained expression on Sam's. The blonde looked up at him with a slightly surprised expression before he managed a gentle smile which almost appeared strained, but he was trying to ease Colby's nerves a little, and Colby seemed to notice that. Colby returned the smile and came out with some disinfectant and gauze, kneeling in front of Sam and asking for his hands.

Sam stared at him for a moment before he leaned closer, softly placing a kiss on Colby's lips before withdrawing and giving him his damaged hands. "Thank you... For not giving up on me... Let's do our best to get out of this".

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