Yet again I was left alone for days. I expected Rick to come and scold me for leaving or asking "what the fuck are you doing?" since it feels like a thing he'd do, but he never showed up and it make me think that maybe he has more respect for me than I thought? Or he just doesnt give a living fuck about me or any of this.

I went back to school the day after and got yelled at for missing classes, with every right. I bumped into Summer and she apologetically lowered her head when she saw me, I assume she might've heard what happened and was embarrassed of her mother, maybe she isnt so negative towards our bond after all? She do come forth as understanding most of the time even if she's shallow under the gaze of the popular kids.

I had to tell Alex but not all truth since im still unsure how this will end, I definitely dont want to loose my friend so I simply just told her that I've met my soulmate and it made her exited until I told her it didnt go well but I cant get into details until I know for sure what will happen. She was stubborn at first; wanting me to tell her but later on respected my struggle and pulled me close in a hug, it was comforting but the lack of warmth from my soulmate was the one thing I truly wanted, it was like my being screamed for his closure, and perhaps a little bit more... It's been excruciating agony without him and I know he struggles as well but probably avoiding it by drinking... Im not sure if you can drink away this pain though?

Going to work have been a hassle and Marcus have given me all the easy tasks like cleaning so that I wont have to deal with drunk people whom's screams hurt my ears and tests my mood. Im grateful for that, Marcus is a really nice guy.

Eventually Rick had to came to find me, maybe not so much because he actually wanted to, more because of the pain he couldnt ignore anymore. I wanted to meet him myself after the pain started to get too much but he was always gone. The others in the Smith family never knew where he went but if I had to take a wild guess he was probably at some bar, whether its in this world or in another I dont know, I couldnt find him even if I wanted to so he had to be the one to eventually come to me.

It's late in the evening and I took the day off from work to study; which Marcus definitely dont mind since he knows how I feel. Im sitting in the sofa with my books scattered around me, deep in thought and trying to focus despite the splitting headache when all of sudden I hear a familiar sci-fi noise and the green, glowing portal pops up right next to me. I scream and throw myself to the side only to roll off and fall to the floor in surprise. As I lie there dumbstruck Rick walks through. He looks like shit but I probably do as well after so many sleepless nights, nonetheless im happy to see him, even if I dont want to.

"What the fuck are you doing on the floor?" He questions and I give him a warning glare.

"You could've knocked on the door like normal people" I grunt and climb back up. To this he rolls his eyes.

"Waste of time"

"What? To be normal?" I stand and we make eye contact. Its like im recharging, like a battery. Him being here helps in so many ways.

"Normal is boring" He shove his hands in his pockets and start to look around. I feel a blush take form on my cheeks. My home is clean, maybe a tad bit impersonal but there's nothing really wrong with it but Rick doesnt seem to be very found of the ordinary.

"Dont you have any fucking interests?" He grunts; hinting on the lack of personal things. I sigh loudly in response and he turns towards me.

"Listen, Rick, you're selfish and most likely a narcissist but we're still bonded and I cant live without you" He flinches as the words leaves my lips and I feel my heart pick up in speed, or is it his? "Can we be honest with each other? I cant deal with people judging us and and you never even wanted this, you never wanted me and I dont want to be a nuisanc-"

"Who the fuck cares about what other people thinks?!" He yells and I jump from his sudden outburst.

"I do Rick, I do but most of all I care about what you think and you've made it clear to me where you stand on this" He 's silent.

"I said what I said because I wanted to protect you" His voice low, sincere and I widen my eyes. I didnt expect that from him.

"Protect me from what?"

"Im the smartest man in the universe, I have more enemies than the human population" He throw out his arms in the air "And im an old fart, you're young, you-"

"I dont care about age, I really dont" I shake my head and grunt in annoyance. "Nothing of this is an issue! The issue isnt your age or that you have enemies, the issue is that you cant see past that. I didnt mean to walk into your life, I understand that it was a surprise but it was for me too"

I pause for him to say something but he stays quiet.

"I dont know what to make of this, I dont know what to do or how to behave, is it okay for me to give in? I cant tell, I dont know anything and if we truly cant solve this then maybe the best solution is to end it? Before we get to the point of no return, heck its already so painful..."

"I devoted my life to science because I thought I'd be alone forever" I make a sudden brief moment, he sound honest.

"You could've chosen any partner" I argue.

"I couldnt make my marriage work and I can turn a black hole into a sun, love is-" He struggle to finish and the word Love seems to taste funny on his tongue "-the only thing I cant control"

"You said that there's nothing you cant do back when we first met"

"I hate to admit it but it looks like there is one thing after all"

"So... We should just end it?"

"Hm.." He hums. We lock eyes but instantly pull away in shame. We just gave up. I'll never understand why we were pulled together like this but none of that matters, Rick can go back to his science and I can go back to my life.

"Thank you though" I carefully speak.

"For what?"

"For wanting to protect me and I... I do care about you as well, I dont want you to give up anything for my sake so I think this is the easiest option for both of us" I smile but its a sad smile. Rick grunts in response; agreeing.

"Then one last time just to eh... load the batteries" He suggests and shift on his feet. It takes me a while to understand what he mean.

"Sure" My voice falters at the thought of kissing him again and my heart breaks as I realize it will most likely be the last one, but when the bond is broken it wont hurt anymore, right? It shouldnt?

"Come here" He hold out a hand for me and I slowly place mine in his bigger one, he then pulls me towards himself and hold my face as we connect in a hard kiss, his lips tightly against mine and we both close our eyes. My hands are lifted as I fight the urge to hug him back and never let him go but I stop myself and he eventually pulls away. He tasted like alcohol.

So he has been drinking...

"I'll.. I'll let you know" He speaks in a low tone while wiping away the tears from under my eyes with his thumbs. I didnt realize I was crying.

I nod and he shoots a new portal and leaves. Im left standing there with heated up cheeks and sweaty palms that I wipe against my pantlegs. That was the first time he didnt act so confident, the way he said it... it was more like he didnt mean it, like he didnt WANT to mean it...